Board 8 > Attn: Parents of B8

(+) Yeah! (+)

Or anyone else that would like to seriously weigh in on the subject. What age did you have the sex talk with your kids, or what age do you think it is appropriate to have the conversation? What age did your parents have it with you?

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Before middle school at least.

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Really depends on the child, but yeah, in general, not before the teen years.

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The reason I ask, is because my son is 7 and my daughter is 5. My wife went into our son's room because they were both still awake and she wanted them to go to sleep. Well when she went in there they were both naked(which isn't so much of a big deal to us because we are trying to make sure they grow up being comfortable with their bodies and knowing that nudity is natural and there is nothing wrong with it, and this would be a completely different conversation if it was just this anyway) but apparently my son had come up with a game that involved them touching each others genitals and sniffing each other's butts.(This is the part that I feel needs to be addressed, and I'm not 100% sure how to address it.)

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...yeah I can't imagine anyone here is qualified to talk on that

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At 7 I would just say that is extremely inappropriate

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masterplum posted...

At 7 I would just say that is extremely inappropriate

This is probably the route I am going to take, as I sincerely doubt either of them were doing it for sexual gratification.
Aecioo posted...

...yeah I can't imagine anyone here is qualified to talk on that

You're probably right, but there is no harm in asking.

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Talk to them about what you feel they're ready for. You have a better sense about what they should know, and what they might not need to know yet. At least that's how we're doing it with our kids.

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Ashethan posted...

Talk to them about what you feel they're ready for. You have a better sense about what they should know, and what they might not need to know yet. At least that's how we're doing it with our kids.

Thats very fair advice. Thank you.

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your kids are furries

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Definitely need to be careful with your tone, because there is a risk of them becoming shamed/embarassed/upset/angry over your reaction to what they did, which could lead to some type of sexual repression down the line.

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fourth grade

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TomNook posted...

Definitely need to be careful with your tone, because there is a risk of them becoming shamed/embarassed/upset/angry over your reaction to what they did, which could lead to some type of sexual repression down the line.

This is my biggest concern to be honest.

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She went into your son's room at night and both kids were there? Do they share rooms? I am under the impression that's not exactly legal in most areas.

That said, you made your bed on this one. You told them that nudity is natural and nothing is wrong with it. (Which is also kind of weird to teach to little kids, when nudity is of course not socially acceptable most places. It also seems to suggest to me that your wife and you are nude in front of your kids more than would be in a gray area itself).

I would pump the brakes on the nudity encouragement and also start to incorporate some talk that explains why someone should not be allowed to touch them inappropriately.

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Corrik7 posted...

She went into your son's room at night and both kids were there? Do they share rooms? I am under the impression that's not exactly legal in most areas.

That said, you made your bed on this one. You told them that nudity is natural and nothing is wrong with it. (Which is also kind of weird to teach to little kids, when nudity is of course not socially acceptable most places. It also seems to suggest to me that your wife and you are nude in front of your kids more than would be in a gray area itself).

I would pump the brakes on the nudity encouragement and also start to incorporate some talk that explains why someone should not be allowed to touch them inappropriately.

They have separate rooms, but they wanted to have a sleep over in my son's room last night, which my wife had allowed them to do because they are on fall break and it wasn't expected to become a situation.

Nudity is natural though and one should not be ashamed of their body. Now that doesn't mean it is always going to be acceptable to flaunt it at all hours of the day where ever you want. Our kids understand this.

As for the nudity "encouragement," it's less about encouraging them to be naked and more about making sure they are comfortable in their own skin. We don't sit there and tell them to be naked, we don't walk around the house naked either. If they are walking around naked we will tell them they need to go get dressed if they want to be out in the common areas of the home or they can go be naked in their rooms. We have explained to them that while being naked is OK, not everyone is comfortable with nudity and that they should respect that.

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Our son is three and we talk about his butt as the 'boo-lah' and 'no one is allowed to touch the boo-lah' and we just call the penis the penis.

Basically my kid knows those parts are private. I don't think it requires a full on sex talk

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it's taboo but certainly not unusual. have a talk for sure (they especially need the tools to establish their own boundaries, how to say no, not being ashamed, etc). obviously i agree with tomnook said

i would cede to an expert (doctor, psychologist, etc) tho

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How did the word "boolah" come about?

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Heroic Bigpun posted...

How did the word "boolah" come about?

He couldn't pronounce booty

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DoomTheGyarados posted...

Our son is three and we talk about his butt as the 'boo-lah' and 'no one is allowed to touch the boo-lah' and we just call the penis the penis.

Basically my kid knows those parts are private. I don't think it requires a full on sex talk

The kids know this, but we have only really stressed people that are not a doctor, or mom and dad touching them. I suppose setting the boundaries that they shouldn't be touching each other is in order.

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For the record I let my son run around naked too long and it caused problems

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masterplum posted...

For the record I let my son run around naked too long and it caused problems

Such as?(if you don't mind sharing.)

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My son (3) keeps grabbing his dangle everywhere he goes. At first I didn't want to shame him to make him feel uncomfortable, but considering just how uncomfortable he makes everyone ELSE he's around, I figured it was time to put that to rest. I told him he can play with it all he wants when he's alone but he's not allowed to play with it in front of other people.

We were out on a bike ride one day and he saw a little girl playing in the front lawn of her house, and he got off his bike and started grabbing his dong. Then her Dad walked out of the house. I snatched him up quick and B lined it home. This is when I realized we had an issue.

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IfGodCouldDie posted...

Such as?(if you don't mind sharing.)

Got kicked out of a daycare for exposing himself

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Corrik7 posted...

She went into your son's room at night and both kids were there? Do they share rooms? I am under the impression that's not exactly legal in most areas.

Its not legal for different gender kids to share rooms? MAYBE if theyre unrelated, but I dont see this could possibly be true.

As far as the situation regarding butt sniffing, lol, when I was around 5-ish, I dont remember the specific age or how it happened, but I remember this girl across the street (in my same class) and I used to hide together when all the kids played hide and seek and wed kiss and stuff, but we just thought it was fun and it wasnt sexual. It always got us caught because wed be giggling.

We grew out of it no problem.

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ChaosTonyV4 posted...

Its not legal for different gender kids to share rooms? MAYBE if theyre unrelated, but I dont see this could possibly be true.

As far as the situation regarding butt sniffing, lol, when I was around 5-ish, I dont remember the specific age or how it happened, but I remember this girl across the street (in my same class) and I used to hide together when all the kids played hide and seek and wed kiss and stuff, but we just thought it was fun and it wasnt sexual. It always got us caught because wed be giggling.

We grew out of it no problem.

Yea the butt sniffing is something that made me laugh pretty hard.

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