Board 8 > Board 8 Wrasslin' League, a narrative simulation project with input &signups

(+) Yeah! (+)

sometimes
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oh whoa I let this get close
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???: "SUP BITCH!"
CPU:"OH GOD IT'S YOU, WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?!?"
???: "YOU KNOW WHAT MUTHAFUGGA"
CPU: "OH NOOOOOOOOO!"
https://d32xvgr96w2oxp.cloudfront.net/2017/03/quokka4-03-2017.jpg: "You gonna get fuggin' CUDDLES"
CPU: "Oh noooooooooo-"

*CPU gets smacked upside the head, shamed for using ventriloquism to make the quokka talk and for not sharing Quokka Quddles.*

CPU: ;-;
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A literal stunt cat? Sounds like someone might be exposing the business...!

You know, because this show sounded entirely realistic otherwise
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80s levels of kayfabe
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'Well that does explain that fan stabbing me. Thank goodness for cybernetic replacements'
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Tom Bombadil posted...

80s levels of kayfabe

Something something 24 inch kittens
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...Maybe it's just me, but 24 inch kittens sounds waaaaay less impressive
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I dunno those are some sizable kittens
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Just don't put them in a Yappapi strap match against the YEH TAY
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https://rave.dj/m3-pHkdjXGFAMQ
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wooo
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work is crimpin' my style
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Take the day off and send a stunt cat in your place
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I hope that cat lives long enough to become a stunt grandma cat
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I've been out of the loop, but I tried reading the opening post. What's this thing?
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It's this funky thing that's half tabletop game, half storytelling device. I play the game and report back on what happens in my little league of b8ers, fictional characters, and actual wrestlers. It's, like, 50% dice/cards/charts/rules, 40% my booking and flavor text, and 10% user input.
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Can I sign up as my UCA character?
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Absolutely! It'll take a bit to get to you on the queue though.

in the meantime if you need a primer on how we book things around here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUMT_sBI9vY" data-time="
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Visual representation of the booking process:

https://i.chzbgr.com/full/7857908480/h6C4FC8B2/
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that is....more accurate than you know

I haven't figured out anything that requires a calculator YET but it's a matter of time
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today might be the day!
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today definitely is the day, and might even be a doubleheader
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oh we're filming both B8WL Mostly-Cooked and 206 Live? :o
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....yes.

SHOW 14

-https://rave.dj/sI85qL44Iue2Sw

CPU comes out on crutches, and greets those of the B8WL fandom in the Temple with what would appear to be the only legitimate smile he's had in-ring for the entirety of his run in B8WL. He cheerfully states that Dr. Faust has stated that the surgery he had to fix his multitude of injuries had been a resounding success, and that he'd be able to resume wrestling in a matter of weeks! He then states that his guest for the second episode of the Last Gasp is the B8WL's owner, Dario Cueto!

It, shockingly, goes completely fine. The two discuss the debuts over the last weeks, the changes in title ownership, and how the B8WL's future looks. The two, somewhat surprisingly, shake hands when the interview winds down. Less surprisingly, Cueto then kicks the crutches out from under CPU due to contractual obligations.
(Guest flavor: CPU)

-Kenshin v. Mundo
Kenshin cuts a promo about trying to get his game back, and Mundo cuts him off to tell him he's a never-was and never-will-be. Both men put on an aerial clinic, but Mundo isn't quite sure what to do with Kenshin's counter-wrestling. Mundo eventually tries a more mat-based approach, but it doesn't take Kenshin long to get a read on it, and the Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki gets him a much-needed win!
Winner: Kenshin

-According to Cueto, if Kenshin keeps that up, he might even be relevant someday!

-Bryan and Mario are in the ring for their match with the Men of Low Moral Fiber....but they rush the ring from the crowd! Kora takes Bryan out with a chair while Eddv, Caelus, and CPU fight off Mario. Sonic comes out to clear the ring...and take Bryan's spot!

-Match: Mario and Sonic w/Peach v. Kora and Eddv w/Caelus
Sonic makes the mistake of getting caught up in the fans' excitement, and tags in Mario...who's still recovering from the pre-match attack, and quickly falls to the fluid teamwork (and liquid courage) of the heels.
Winners: MLMF

-Cueto appreciates the initiative shown tonight by both teams- MLMF making the win happen, and Sonic keeping it interesting...even if his team did suck.

-Maniac v. Incineroar w/Guzma
Incineroar gets a jobber entrance, and is visibly upset about it. Both men looking to prove something after scuffling at One Versus All. Incineroar tries a sucker punch, but this just makes Maniac mad, and it takes a Guzma save to bail out the Heel Pokemon. Nothing pretty about the match from that point on, just brawling. (and a judicious use of a Super Potion) Maniac gets fired up...but wastes energy chasing Guzma around ringside, and gets rolled up. Maniac kicks out at 1, pops up, and hits the Implant DDT! 1.....2....3! Incineroar kicks out at 3.01, but too bad. Incineroar argues with the ref as Maniac taunts him.
Winner: Maniac

-Miz w/Bowser v. Bang
Miz signs an autograph for Ilya on the way to the ring. Opening of the match is all Miz, as he immediately starts going for all his big-ticket offense. He lands funny off a corner bulldog, though, and it looks like it may have thrown his spine out of whack. Bowser tries to run interference, but Miz catches him this time, and they start arguing! Bang is able to take full advantage of both the injury and the dissension to take over the match. Bang gets Miz in the Sharpshooter...but he rolls over into a pin! 1....2....3! Miz celebrates his win, but Bowser seems unenthusiastic.
Winner: Miz
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-GRUDGE MATCH: Cena and Rock v. Bowser and Bowser Jr.
There exists a question of how well Bowser Jr. is going to fight, being an outsider to B8WL. But hey, the stunt cat did kinda okay last week! Cena and Bowser start out- Cena gets Bowser in a rest hold and tags in Rock, allowing Rock to get in a few free hits. Bowser retaliates with a headbutt and a headlock of his own before tagging in his son. Cena tries to cut in, getting a stern warning from the ref. Rock tags him in anyway after piledriving Jr. Jr. pokes Cena in the eye, so Cena tags right back out and Rock kicks Jr. in the head. People's Elbow! 1....2....3! Maybe that'll teach the kid to interfere. Bowser is distraught, and screams at Rock for hurting his kid!
Winners: Boots to Asses

-GRUDGE NON-TITLE MATCH: Eaed w/Time Cops v. Pentagon
Before the match, Eaed reminds us that Pentagon is a lowlife, showing clips of his attack on Eaed and Maniac a couple weeks ago, and various other jerk moves he's made. That's why this isn't a title shot for him! Penta doesn't seem to care. Eaed opens with a chop, woo, then trips a charging Penta into the corner. Penta flips out of the ring, then back in with a plancha! Champ's up first, and hits a double axehandle and a scissor kick. Penta with the ARMBREAKER OUTTA NOWHERE when Eaed tries to follow up! Eaed survives for a long time, and doesn't let Penta actually break his arm, but the luchador....just...ain't....letting....go! Eaed eventually has no choice but to tap!
Winner: Pentagon

-Taylor Swift of all people slides in the ring...Eaed had best keep that title warm, because Penta is coming for it after he disposes of Panthera!
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Later this afternoon (theoretically):

SHOW 15: EXTREME RULES
Miz hosts
CAGE: Taker v. Incineroar
OIL DRUM ON A POLE: Maniac/Bryan/Rock v. MLMF
LUMBERJACK: Panthera v. Pentagon
UCA TITLE LADDER: Bison v. Taker
MASTER OF TAYBLES: david v. Bowser
HARDCORE TITLE: Eaed (c) v. Cena

FUTURE
Miz/Mundo
Cena v. Eaed/Bryan/Maniac
Penta/Rock/Panthera?
GRUDGE: Bowser v. Rock
Penta/Title
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https://www.rave.dj/Su3jKHKwHQDx8Q
B8WL PRESENTS EXTREME RULES (Show #15)

-Miz's guest on MizTV is none other than Dario Cueto...again! But he has another guest....a pal of his who has never quite forgiven Cueto for his mistreatment and title loss.....Bryan comes from under the ring....and grabs Cueto, putting him in the Yes Lock!!!

-Incineroar wants a Cage Match to boost his stock in B8WL. Kenshin answers the challenge, but gets rejected as "small time." Rude! It is instead answered by...the returning Macho Man!

-CAGE: "Macho Man" Randy Savage w/Elizabeth v. Incineroar w/Guzma
Incineroar gets the upper hand on the slightly rusty Savage early on, but Miss Elizabeth's pleas give him pause. Some jerk throws a hot dog at Elizabeth, which distracts the distraction. Savage gets a second wind and hits a piledriver, but it's not enough. Incineroar gets a few failed pins before smashing Macho's face into the cage, and then finishing with a Malicious Moonsault. He didn't even need Bang to slap anybody for him this time!
Winner: Incineroar

-OIL DRUM ON A VERY STURDY POLE: Maniac, Bryan, and Rock v. Men of Low Moral Fiber (CPU, Eddv, and Kora w/Caelus)
The faces hear that CPU is coming back to active wrestling tonight! Funny they picked this match stip, because Rock will be happy to injure CPU again! It's already oiled up nice, so all he has to do is turn it sideways and- that's all they have time for before the MLMF come out and start brawling. It'll be Maniac and CPU to start the match, and he almost immediately grabs the oil drum after slamming CPU, then drops it on him from atop the pole. Things just....never really get started for CPU after that, and he doesn't even make it back to tag out. Eaed comes out to celebrate.
Winners: Team Maniac

-LUMBERJACK GRUDGE MATCH: Panthera v. Pentagon, Jr.
Pentagon enters with a scary dog, scaring the cats :( The whole roster has assembled alongside the ring, and it looks like the faces are scary enough to keep the heels at bay. Panthera slips a forearm charge and hits a dropkick. Cat Eyes on Pentagon, and he rolls out of the ring. Macho Man confronts Penta, but Penta irish whips him away and gets back in. Penta signals to Clegane at ringside, and Clegane starts bullying one of the cats! Panthera slides out to make the save, but the heels swarm him! The faces come running for the save, and a brawl erupts! Pentagon has the good sense to stay out of it....and wins by countout! In a lumberjack match. Yes. Mr. T comes out of the crowd, and yells for silence! Order is restored, because it's dang Mr. T. He pities the foo' who ends a lumberjack match by countout! All you foo's better get out of this ring before Mr. T throws you helluva far.
No Contest, I guess

-UCA TITLE LADDER MATCH: M. Bison (c) v. The Undertaker
Bison comes out touting himself as the final UCA Champ Ever, to a chorus of boos. He opens with some blows to the head, but Taker just chucks him out of the ring. Bison hits a Devil's Reverse on re-entry, and slaps on a hammerlock but gets no-sold....Hell's Gate! Bison barely escapes, but is the first one up, and stomps on Taker's head. Bison tosses Taker to the outside, then buries him with a pile of ladders! He starts using Psycho Power to crush Taker with the ladders! That's...a bit outside the rules, and he gets DQ'd for it! Bison makes his statement and keeps his belt, but this isn't over.
Winner: Taker, by DQ
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...We actually have the *worst* faces at being faces other than the Miz of all people. Fucking hell.
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-Bowser has no idea why this "UCA" thing is a big deal- their champ already dropped the belt! Maniac confronts Bowser to tell him how UCA was a great place where creativity and excitement ran wild, and david is bringing that energy to B8WL...first with the UCA title itself, and now with bringing back Master of Taybles! Bowser wonders why "tables" is pronounced weirdly, but Maniac just shakes his head and leaves.

-MASTERY OF TAYBLES: davidponte v. Bowser
Taybles are all around, providing the sense the match could (and in fact probably will) end at a moment's notice! Bowser opens with a headlock, but David slips it and gets in a few shots to the gut. David goes for a headlock of his own....meeting the same results. David tries to slam Bowser....but sprains his back, and Bowser falls on top of him. Bowser claws at David's back painfully, and steps on his foot while being admonished by the ref. Bowser lifts David up....Bowser Bomb through a tayble!
Winner and NEW Master of TAYBLES: Bowser

-Otacon was scheduled to do some sort of segment, but can't stop focusing on how big and scary Bowser is.

-Jackie Chan is also here, scouting for talent for his next movie. He was impressed by Pentagon's martial arts influence earlier, but also understands the prestige (lol) of the B8WL title. Therefore, what he'd really like to see next PPV is for Pentagon to take on the winner of this next match...not just for the title, but for a starring role in Viy 2: Journey to China!

-B8WL TITLE HARDCORE: Eaedwards (c) v. John Cena
Cena has commandeered CPU's old car door from somehwere, and smacks Eaed with it off the opening bell. Clothesline onto said car door! Champ's already in trouble as Cena applies a, uh, door-assisted hammerlock. 5-Knuckle Shuffle! Here comes the AA....nope, Eaed slips out. Cena hits the LIGHTNING FIST but only gets a 1 count. Eaed rolls out of the ring, grabs a drink from the water cooler, and throws the rest at Cena. Cena bashes him with it on re-entry, and then hits the AA this time! 1....2....3!
Winner and NEW Champion: John Cena

-Jason Statham is also interested in working with Cena, but apparently he can't see him. Cena celebrates alone as we go off the air, but what of the GM situation???
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SHOW 16
Sonic hosts
Mario v. Bang
Savage v. CPU
Kenshin v. Incineroar
Maniac/Bryan v. Eddv/Kora
Miz v. Mundo
GRUDGE: Panthera v. Pentagon

SHOW 17

SHOW 18: FEAST OR FIRED
GRUDGE: Bowser v. Rock
FEAST OR FIRED:
UCA TITLE: Bison (c) v. Taker
B8WL TITLE+JACKIE CHAN CO-STAR: Cena (c) v. Penta

NEW CYCLE

You may nominate 3 celebs!

Would you prefer Cueto to come back after he's off injury, or to replace him permanently, or to let the dice decide?

Would you prefer the new commissioner (interim or otherwise) to be a potential future wrestler, a potential future celeb, decided by vote, or decided by the dice?

One briefcase in Feast or Fired is #1 Contendership, and one is a pink slip. I'm open to suggestions for the other two!
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Don't know about celebs, but always go dice. Fortune favors the bold and punishes the stupid.
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David is off to a great start here.
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So Taylor Swift is managing Pentagon? There is a weird pair.

Dice to decide GM? I'm not really sure what I would want.

24/7 hardcore title in a briefcase. Talk about a blessing and a curse. And in the other one a blank match contract for any non-title match the holder wants to set.
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Let the dice decide, that always leads to good results

Or relentless non-finishes. One or the other!
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Always the dice. Consensus is for COWARDS. OR THE WEAK. OR THE WEAK COWARDS.

I like the 24/7 Hardcore Title, but possibly the ability to hire someone, to make up for the person that's just lost their job here.

...Celebs... Louis Armstrong, Nobunaga Oda (guess which one) and... P3MC.
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Wait...Louis Armstrong? The musician or the FMA one?
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Musician. ...Probably. I rather assume the latter would work better as a potential wrestler ^_^'

also changing theme for October. https://rave.dj/5SJoxn9m0fNmSg
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Nom Armstrong from FMA

Good thinking Strife

Also nominate LuBu
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Oh dear. Look what my mouth got us all into.

*Senses intense flexing and THE WRESTLING TECHNIQUES PASSED DOWN THROUGH THE GENERATIONS!" killing us all.
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LuBu is a punk ass bitch that's right I said it who wants some

And don't be *silly*, if he's only a celebrity nom that probably won't happen. ...probably
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tonight is theoretically possible but very unlikely

more likely is next week sometime
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Bump
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https://rave.dj/M4ZcWIkWdVZKFQ
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Now I'm tempted by their baseball game too send help
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Show #16

-Incineroar opens with a promo about how the power in B8WL is shifting, and soon we're going to see a new pack of guys on top.

-Mario w/Peach v. Bangladesh
Somewhat pedestrian brawl. Mario tries to press slam Bang out of the ring, but she reverses into a huge DDT! Mario never quite recovers from that, and Bang gets a clean upset win.
Winner: Bang

-Sonic comes to the ring, and stares Bang down! A few words are exchanged, but it doesn't quite come to blows.

-Macho Man w/Elizabeth v. CPU w/MLMF
Before the match starts, Sae Niijima comes out to announce that MLMF are UNDER INVESTIGATION for assault, treachery, and general suckitude! CPU takes offense to that, and stomps a mudhole in Macho at the opening bell. He goes for an early Spike Piledriver, but Liz distracts him, giving her man a chance to catch his breath. Jerry Lawler wonders whether Macho can win matches without her. Macho hits a piledriver of his own, and another for good measure! Macho goes for the pin....but CPU reverses it! 1....2....3!
Winner: CPU

-Macho doesn't like that call, but while he's arguing with the ref, Eddv whacks him with a chair!

-Bang is backstage and reiterates the points Incineroar made before her match- a new generation is stepping up!

-Match: Kenshin v. Incineroar w/Guzma
Kenshin may not have met Incineroar's standards for his open challenge, but we're gonna see this match anyway! Guzma tries to attack Kenshin, and gets a sakabato to the brain for his trouble. Kenshin tries to out-speed Incineroar, but the Heel Pokemon is able to mostly keep him grounded with mat wrestling, eventually submitting him with Submission. Tita Russel shows up to help Kenshin back to his feet, which would be more heartwarming without the recent allegations against Kenshin's manga-ka.
Winner: Incineroar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqlCqbI8Eeg" data-time="

-Vince McMahon is here to fill in as GM until Dario Cueto is recovered! He wants no funny business from either the maniacs that took him out, or these Nexus wannabes MLMF. Therefore, Bryan and Maniac will be taking on Kora and Eddv right now, and the winner will get a chance to state their grievances to Vince afterwards!

-Match: King Maniac and Bryan v. Kora and Eddv w/CPU & Caelus
Bane can be seen at ringside cheering on the MLMF. Solid back and forth match, with both teams displaying good fluidity. Caelus is caught helping Eddv reach the ropes on a Maniac pin attempt, and gets sent to the back! Eddv protests....and takes an Implant DDT! That'll end it! CPU is particularly upset with this finish.
Winner: Maniac

-Vince wants to know why Bryan took out Dario Cueto, and why Maniac is sticking his nose into everybody's business, and honestly...neither man has a good face justification for his actions, and the crowd isn't really buying their attempts at a promo here.

-Match: Miz w/Bowser v. Mundo
Miz comes out to a piano arrangement of the KoopAWESOME theme, provided by none other than the Super High School Level Pianist, Akamatsu Kaede. Bowser tries to help again, but Miz waves him off, having a personal issue with Mundo after being injured by him a couple months back. Bowser contents himself with berating Mundo on the mic while Miz beats him like a goverment mule. This inspires Mundo to a second wind, but it's cut off by a sneaky trip from Bowser. Miz goes for the Skull-Crushing Finale, but can't quite manage to finish with a pin. Mundo rolls out of the ring, yells at Bowser...and just walks to the back! Bowser celebrates with Miz as if he'd won outright.
Winner by countout: Miz
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-Sandor Clegane and Pentagon have a chat before the main event. Clegane helped get Pentagon that no contest in the lumberjack match, but meanwhile Penta is trying to go for bigger things with the title. If Pentagon can't win tonight, maybe Clegane will go hang out a guy who has his priorities straight!

-GRUDGE MATCH: Panthera w/ cats v. Pentagon w/Clegane
Pentagon is having none of that, and immediately locks on an arm wringer. He goes for some sort of Old-School type thing, but Panthera crotches him on the turnbuckle. Pentagon falls to the mat, but pulls Panthera in for a Boston Crab. Clegane gets a bit too close to the action, and the ref misses a rope break while reprimanding him. The ref does eventually break it up, but Penta gets in a cheap stomp to the head in the process. Panthera recovers with a beautiful crossbody, but Penta catches him in midair with a kick, and both men are down. Panthera pulls himself up in the corner, then dodges a splash from Penta. Panthera goes for a corner splash of his own....but Penta catches him, and bombs him to the mat! 1.....2.....3!
Winner: Pentagon

-Vince congratulates both men on a good match, particularly Pentagon, who seems poised to take the belt off Cena in a couple weeks!

SHOW 17 (No GM)
Macho hosts
Kenshin v. Clegane
Incineroar v. Mario
Taker+David v. Bison+Mundo
Eaed v. Penta
KoopAWESOME v. Boots to Asses
Sonic v. Bang

SHOW 18: FEAST OR FIRED
GRUDGE: Bowser v. Rock
FEAST OR FIRED:
UCA TITLE: Bison (c) v. Taker
B8WL TITLE+JACKIE CHAN CO-STAR: Cena (c) v. Penta
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yep
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about a 5% chance of updatez tonight
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Brief Interview With a Cyborg:

Random Intern: "Mr. Ulmeida, a moment of your time?"
CPU: "...Yes, yes, yes? What do ya want?"
Intern: "I was sent to ask a few questions about the last show..."
CPU: "Yes yes? Go on, not in a hurry, but I do need to have a word with someone in the next two hours."
Intern: "Won't take long at all. First and foremost, how do you feel about the showdown between Mrs. DuPree and the Hedgehog? You did used to work for Sonic's former company, but there's word that you have some interest in..."
CPU: "Let me stop you right there, Robert. Just because I'm still loyal to Mrs. Acorn and her (recently rebranded) STH, doesn't mean I have any fondness or loyalty to the Hedgehog himself. He left months ago to do crap to mediocre new games and expected STH to collapse without him. ...Bang, on the other hand...."

*CPU looks around him, nervously.*

"I like Bang, I like her company and her work. Am honored to say I'm a minor stockholder there ...But she's one of the only two people in this company that legitimately scares me."
Bob: "Two?"
CPU: "The other is Kenshin when he's pissed, know you were gonna ask who else. Bang... however, she *always* has me on edge. *You don't know* what she's going to do. I like her more than the traitorhog, though."

Bob: "As you say. ...Second question, about Mrs. Nijima's announcement of her investigations in..."
CPU: *CPU nods.* "Ah. That. Will be happy to answer any questions she might have about our activities, but I can't say more while under active investigation."
Bob: "...No comments about her accusations?"
CPU: "Not while I'm under investigation, no. Percy's advised me to not comment about it in the meantime."
Bob: "...Not even about the sucktitude charge?"
CPU: "...Bob, I work here willingly, that really speaks for itself doesn't it?"
Bob: "...And the treacher-"
CPU: *Bites his tongue, holds back a snarl.* "...I have never betrayed someone I consider a friend in my life. She will be convinced of that, I am sure."
Bob: "...Should I ask about the assault."
CPU: "Not when she, some of her acquaintances and I all know I've done far worse. ...If a certain someone wants to make their presence known, I'd be happy to make that argument in person." *Looks down at his phone, yelps.* "Sorry, can we hurry this up, I have to hurry back to see my adopted niece Nina in 15."

Bob: "After your match with the Macho Man-"
CPU: "One of my partners re-injured him with a chair, I'm aware. We'll be having words about that in the next few days, we can't be lowering ourselves to their-"
Bob: "Lowering yourselves to- you're actually called the Men of Low Moral Fiber!"
CPU: "DON'T interrupt me again, Robert. We can't lower ourselves to injuring people, when there are so many more interesting ways to make people suffer. ...Also Miss Elizabeth nearly choked me out after she cornered me backstage afterwards, promised I'd talk to Eddv about his conduct." *He rubs the back of his head.* "Anything else?"

Bob: "Nothing for now. Thank you for your time, Mr. Ulmeida."
CPU: "My pleasure, Robert. If you'll excuse me, I have a plushie to deliver."

*The cyborg froms off with an actual-size plushie of a young man in a tanktop and red pants.*
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