Board 8 > Board 8 Wrasslin' League, a narrative simulation project with input &signups

(+) Yeah! (+)

THEY'VE MADE 10 FRiCKING K IN UNDER 3 HOURS WHAT THE HELL
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everybody three count 1 2 3
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they've, unsurprisingly, broken 23k.

this is nrelated, just wanted to bump

https://rave.dj/Fkmr1-GQ-orT_g
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https://clips.twitch.tv/ShakingFancyClintPeanutButterJellyTime

presented without comment
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Show #9: Those Who Fight Further
(rave isn't cooperating but maybe you'll get a theme in the second post)

-Eaed is here with FUTURE SHOCK. He brings out his guest tonight, John Cena! For once we don't start like five new storylines at once- he just gets the crowd pumped up to see him fight Incineroar and begin his climb back to the title. Incineroar comes out to call Cena a has-been! Cena's on the way down, but Incineroar's on the way up! Cena agrees that Incineroar's own the way up...before scooping him up and slamming him! Guess that's starting now.

-Match: John Cena v. Incineroar w/Guzma
Incineroar gets straight up squashed, finishing with an AA through a table at ringside. Cena grabs a mic afterwards to say that rumors of his downfall are greatly exaggerated!
Winner: Cena

-Match: Panthera w/cats v. Pentagon Jr.
Pentagon says he doesn't need any cats or stupid talk shows to get over. Panthera is still banged up from their previous encounters. The cats try to get involved early on, but Pentagon scares them off with loud noises. Panthera goes to check on his animal friends, and Pentagon drills him in the back of the head! Pentagon can be seen slipping something into his tights, and Panthera is out cold! 3 count is academic, but it's pretty apparent Pentagon was using a loaded punch somehow.
Winner: Pentagon

-Pentagon wants somebody more of a challenge! Maybe that Mario guy! Cueto comes out and congratulates Pentagon on the win. He'd like to see that match, and appreciates Pentagon's initiative...but he wonders if he can handle Mario cleanly. Pentagon don't like that, and he chases Cueto backstage. Cueto eventually tells them to go to the next match, since nobody cares about it anyway.

-Match: The Rock v. IhatethisCPU
CPU has the car door AGAIN, and baits Rock to the outside to whack him with it. The match continues in a fairly even fashion. At one point CPU discards the car door after it starts spazzing out with the windows and lock. Futaba Sakura can be seen in the front row with some sort of remote. CPU just hits Rock with an oil drum instead. I'm not entirely sure why those are even under the ring, really! Rock withstands a variety of flippydoos from CPU, but the Spike Piledriver puts him down for good.
Winner: CPU

-Rock is kinda pissed! He clotheslines CPU out of the ring, and then Rock Bottoms him onto the oil drum from before! Rock walks back muttering to himself, and Kora and Eddv have to carry CPU off.

-Bowser gives us a little demo of how vicious Chain Chomps can be, giving one a Sonic plush to destroy. He's going to enjoy bringing about the real thing tonight!

-CHAIN CHOMP MATCH: Sonic the Hedgehog w/Tails v. Bowser w/The Miz
A Chain Chomp is fastened to the middle of the ring by a rather short chain. He will probably aid the first person to release him! Sonic opens with a Homing Attack over the beast, following with a surfboard slam. Sonic manages to UNLEASH CHOMP! Chomp gnaws on Bowser's carapace for a little bit, then bounds away to freedom. Sonic tries to finish the match, but gets a fireball to the face. GLACIER sees this from ringside and jumps in the ring to point it out! Bowser tries to fireball him too, but BLOOD RUNS too COLD for that to work! There is a staredown until they're separated. Sonic's still down, so Bowser applies a nasty bear hug into a backbreaker. Miz defends his friend's honor to the ref while Sonic has to contend with attacking Koopas. The ref has no time to consider Bowser's honor, because he has just grabbed a SMASH BALL! GIGA BOWSER wrecks Sonic (...sneakily) for an insta cheap win.
Winner: Bowser

-Bowser's not done with Cena yet! He lost a couple weeks ago to Cena because Miz threw away the win, but he wants him one on one so that can't happen!
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-SBAllen lets us know that Maniac has been banned for "spoiling" that he would be wrestling tonight. He might wind up the King of the Ring, but he ain't king of the gamefaqs!

-KING OF THE RING FINALS...AGAIN: Maniac64 v. The Miz w/Bowser
Miz is hurt after Mundo's attack, but the show must go on. Maniac wakes up the crowd with a series of chops, then chucks Bowser out of the ring on an interference attempt, with Miz following after. Bowser recovers quickly enough to hit Maniac with a green shell on the outside, and Maniac wastes valuable time chasing him! The still-oblivious Miz gets Maniac in a headlock, but Maniac just powers out and tosses Miz into a lighting setup. Maniac takes a bottle of Barbeque Sauce from JR's spot at the announce table, and pours it on Bowser! The action finally returns to the ring, where Maniac hits a brutal Face Driver. Maniac goes up top....flying elbow drop! 1.....2.....3!
Winner and King of the Ring: Maniac

-Bryan shows up to congratulate Maniac, and says his elbow drop was better than Savage's...which is a bit off script, and he gets muted.

-Cueto warns Mundo not to injure Bryan TOO bad out there. One Pentagon is enough.

-B8WL CHAMPIONSHIP: Daniel Bryan (c) v. Johnny Mundo
Bryan slams Mundo, but Mundo pops back up with a dropkick. Bryan rebounds off the ropes with a clothesline, but Mundo shrugs it off and hits a Moonlight Drive! But as he's getting up, Bryan catches him...and gets in the Yes Lock! Can't get it all the way cinched in, so he transitions it into an arm bar. Mundo crawls to the ropes, but Bryan hits the Yes Kicks as he tries to regain his feet. Mundo dodges a corner charge, but Bryan no-sells the corner collision and hits a flurry of elbow strikes. Mundo is down...Yes Lock! It's in this time! ....Mundo taps!
Winner, and still champion: Bryan

-Cueto offers Bryan a handshake...but Bryan slaps his hand away! We go off the air with a series of YES.
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You may add TWO CELEBS this cycle!

SHOW 10
Savage hosts
Kenshin v. ???
Mario v. Bison
Eaed v. Clegane
Maniac v. Pentagon
Rock+Cena v. Eddv+Kora
CAGE: Panthera v. Bowser

SHOW 11

SHOW 12- ONE VERSUS ALL
GRUDGE: Pentagon v. Mario
GRUDGE: Bowser v. Cena
20-MAN CHAMPIONSHIP BATTLE ROYAL: Everybody healthy
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*is banned from posting*

*Celebrates anyway*
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(Quick) Backstage Transcript (Because bored):

CPU: "...I'm out for *how* long, doc?"

B8WL Doc: "...The next month, at the very least. Those impacts to your spinal column means you *should* be out for the rest of the year nor-"

CPU: "TO HELL WITH THAT, I WASN'T BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD JUST TO LET A MINOR COMPOUND SPINAL FRACTURE-"

Doctor: "I'm getting to that, Mr. Ulmeyda. There's a treatment that can get you back on your feet much, much quicker but at a much greater risk. Normally I wouldn't even suggest this treatment due to the numerous potentially permanent and lethal side-effects, but looking at you..."

CPU, nodding.: "Can't get much worse physically than being dead, I get what you mean. What treatment are you speaking of, Doc?"

Doctor: "There's a surgeon over in the Hokkaido region, heavily accredited, highly skilled, but a little eccentric. I'm told you know him through a mutual acquaintance."

CPU, eyebrow-raised: "Faust? Can't say I'm surprised that he's come up with a quicker treatment, but how'd you find him to-?

Doctor: "He actually contacted us."

CPU: "...Pardon?"

Doctor: "He saw the match you had with Mr Johnson, and told us to send you to him before the inuries you suffered get any worse."

CPU: "...It was just a match with The Rock, one that I lost, admit-"

Doc: "You won the match, Mr. Ulmeida."

CPU: "Don't be ridiculous, if I'd won I wouldn't have a concussion and multiple spine fractures, I clearly lost that match."

Doc: "But-"

CPU: "I'm 1-1 with- not important, who'd you want me to see abou-"

Doc: "...I see what he meant."

CPU: "What who meant?"

Doc: "The man you're being transferred to for tr-"

CPU: "I feel fine, doc, I don't n-"

*Is promptly choked out by a small computer whiz for his own good.*

Doc: "...How'd you get back here?"

Futaba: "Security kinda sucks and what guards there were thought it'd be hilarious. ...Is Charlie-"

Doc: "Mr Ulmeida will be fine. ...Probably. ...If Doctor Faust arrives qui- oh, there he-"
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"So it turns out, the fleshy bits of CPU are suffering from rapid-onset amnesia, and his cybernetic parts' have developed a nasty persistent memory leak, with the numerous fractures.... everywhere, he's going to be confined to a wheelchair for the forseeable future, and he's gotten a broken jaw after he mouthed off to Kenshin about his win/loss record since he signed with the B8CL, and it's had to be wired shut in 15 places.

The good news is, that while he's recovering, he'll still be a better announcer than B8CL Coach."
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I've spent my whole life waiting for the day I would have a cage match against Bowser for no apparent reason
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Bump
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CPU: "Mmhmmmph mmph mmmph mph!" ("EXCUSE ME?! That was a bit unkind wasn't it?!")

???: "That... was rather rude, it was."

???: "It was a compliment, I swear!"

First ???: "In what world is saying "You have the shape for a Russian Nesting Doll!" a compliment!"

???: "I was suggesting a new form of merchandise! It could be a little bobble head to do that thing he does no-"

???: "He got his neck broken and Cueto's too cheap to get him a proper neck brace, you half-eaten ham sandwich! You don't use-"

CPU: "....Mmph?" ("....In spite of myself, I do like that idea, Mr. Drozdov, but I feel...")

Droz: "Like it'd be in very bad taste? Don't worry, this is a different timeline, Charles.."

CPU: ("This still feels horribly offensive, doesn't it D'Lo, sir?"

D'Lo: "..."

i am a terrible human being
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I don't know what I just read
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Show #10

-OOOOHHHHH YEAHHHHH. Savage is still injured, but he's here to host the MOUNTAIN OF MADNESS. His guest tonight is Luchador Metal! Out comes some dude in a luchador mask and heavy metal-themed attire. Macho first asks Metal about the giant Megadeth logo on his shirt, and Metal responds that Megadeth is numero one and he gustas them very mucho. This draws the ire of JAMES HETFIELD, who claims Metallica's superiority. Metal claims that he's going to kill Hetfield worse than Metallica killed Napster [metalheads, feel free to substitute your own zinger here]! Hetfield swings at Metal, but Metal pulls him into DDT position! Hetfield manages to wriggle out and escape. This may or may not be followed up on ever.

-BANGLADESH DUPREE is in the building! She issues an open challenge! It is answered by MARISA KIRISAME out of the crowd....but she's not under B8WL contract, so all she's allowed to do is bicker back and forth with Bang about just who is scared of whom. Bang taunts Marisa as she is escorted from the ring by security...and Kenshin's music hits! He'll take up the fight in Marisa's place!

-Match: Kenshin v. Bang
Kenshin's really hungry for a win, and comes out of the gates with a vicious flurry of fast-paced offense. Bang finally manages to cut him off by catching him and administering a piledriver, and later manages to sneak in an eye gouge while Kenshin goes for a Ryutsuisen. Bang gets a 2.5 count off a low blow, and while she tries to intimidate the ref, Kenshin rolls out of the ring...and just leaves. Bison is watching backstage, and doesn't really blame the dude for taking the countout loss.
Winner: Bang

-Mario is getting frustrated with his lack of success, and vows to make an impact next PPV since he's missed the last couple! Tonight he's gonna fight-a that Bison!

-Match: Mario v. Bison
A Peach fanboy slides in the ring to worship his waifu, and Bison throws him out, and Mario right after. Bison clears some VIPs out of a ringside sofa that had been set up for them, and slams Mario onto it. A quick slap from Peach eventually helps Mario get back in the game and apply a series of rest holds. It turns into a brawl, and Mario holds back for just a second to regain his composure...at which point Bison spears him. 1...2.Peach distracts the ref! She distracts Bison too, and Mario reverses the pin. 1....2.....2.9. Mario doesn't let up, but hits the Super Jump Punch. He goes up top....but misses his Mushroom Stomp when Bison rolls away! Mario keeps up the offense though, and eventually puts Bison away with the help of a Poison Mushroom. What a face!
Winner: Mario

-Mario knows that there was some shady business going on in that match, but Bison was using Psycho Power the whole time! A video replay shows him sneaking in some blows of questionable legality. Shame!

-Match: Eaed v. Clegane
Pentagon comes out alongside Clegane, and the two of them get in a few sucker punches on Eaed before the bell rings and the Time Cops clear out Pentagon. It's a fairly even brawl (the Time Cops even catch a blow or two for no reason) and then Clegane busts out a triple bodyslam without putting Eaed down! Eaed kicks out at 2.9, only to fall to the Axe Bomber moments later.
Winner: Clegane

-Eaed gets on the mic and claims that Clegane only won due to Pentagon's help before the bell!
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Mario and Peach are such great faces lol
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-Match: King Maniac v. Pentagon
Clegane is still by ringside, where he bandies a few words with the new King. Pentagon climbs the turnbuckle in the meantime....but Maniac rushes...exchanges blows.....and throws him off through a table! Pentagon isn't BADLY hurt but he's not able to continue tonight.
Winner: Maniac

-Maniac is glad he doesn't have to waste his time on lowlifes like Pentagon. He had an idea after the last match. He has this old belt sitting around from another fed, and it would be fun to whack somebody with it. Eaed deserves better than he got tonight, so at the next PPV, he wants to fight Eaed in a MELEE MAYHEM BELT ON A POLE MATCH!

-Match: Rock and Cena v. Kora and Eddv
Having come off two big wins (one of them moral) at KotR, the ol' Team Boots to Asses are perhaps feeling a bit too pleased with themselves, and play things up for the crowd. Then again, they dominate the early stages. Cena gets a hot tag off one of two moves that the MLMF get in, and gets 2.8 off a springboard stunner on Eddv. Rock tags back in and finishes the deal with a daggum Head Scissors.
Winners: Rock/Cena

-MLMF claim they were too emotionally distressed to wrestle after Rock injured CPU. Rock tells them to shut their mouths and know their roles.

-Dario Cueto tells the fans how great this fed is. Why tonight, they get a cage match for no reason other than Bowser wanted to play with his food! And hey, Panthera is now recovered enough to make it sporting! B8WL is just great.

-CAGE MATCH: Panthera v. Bowser
Panthera immediately dropkicks Bowser into the cage. Bowser reaches through the bars and grabs a green shell...but the ref sees him, and kicks the flying shell back at Bowser! Panthera gets a nasty dose of Whirling Fortress when he tries to follow up, though. Hey y'know what fits through cage bars? Goombas. Hey y'know what else fits through cage bars? Cats. Pretty soon we have somehow managed to lose control of all the interference happening inside a dang cage, as cats and small Mario enemies tear around the ring causing havoc. Time for the good ol' Nitro finish!
Winner: Double DQ

-Also Miz has some good jokes about this on Twitter later
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...I've noticed that our faces seem to have problems actually *being* faces. ...Other than Panthera and Kenshin I mean. ^_^'
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Tentatively...

SHOW 11
CPU hosts
(Debut) v. Bang
Mario v. Incineroar
Cena v. Mundo
Bryan+Maniac v. Eddv+Kora
Mario+Sonic v. Pentagon+Clegane
Panthera v. Bowser

SHOW 12- ONE VERSUS ALL
MM BELT ON A POLE: Maniac v. Eaed
GRUDGE: Pentagon v. Mario
GRUDGE: Bowser v. Cena
20-MAN CHAMPIONSHIP BATTLE ROYAL: Everybody healthy
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IhatethisCPU posted...

...I've noticed that our faces seem to have problems actually *being* faces. ...Other than Panthera and Kenshin I mean. ^_^'

I didn't think ahead to how heely Mario would be with the Object (because of all the items!) and Helped attributes <_> (I was kinda scraping the bottom of the barrel on stuff to give him for my little point buy system)
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Honestly it does make sense with Mario, because Mario Party exists, just amused by it. ^_^
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knew I shouldn't have given Road Dogg the book
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Maniac! I'm coming for you!
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You can't handle the Mayhem!

The reign of the Chaotic King begins now!
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...also I *just* noticed the 'add two celebs' thing so I nominate Rudy from Chalk Zone and Ganaha Hibiki from IsoM@ster
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Damn Bowser and I managed to find a way to get disqualified in a cage match, must have been quite the chaotic battle
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...upon further reflection, Rudy sucks and doesn't even have the chalk so I change him to Deviljho
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All In was pgood
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vgood, even
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All(in)good?
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https://www.rave.dj/QrcShDzxj4R8JQ

Crap rave.dj bump
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...yes I *have* just mashed-up two of my mashups, what're you going to do about it

https://www.rave.dj/CghftNw5CuAvZQ
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update in progress!
Edit: or it was until stomach entered unpleasantness. Hopefully only a momentary delay though

so one fun thing that I will be extending to whomever is that CPU did the flavor for his interview segment after I provided him with the plot points to hit. I'd be up for doing that with any of youse guys who wind up hosting, so just lemme know when you see yourself!
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SHOW #11

https://www.rave.dj/MiMCxB5tC_6pvw

-CPU comes out in a wheelchair, with a half-wired jaw and a microphone, declaring that while that half-rate Batista and that Kurama-wannabe may have sidelined him from active competition with their poor sportmanship, they couldn't stop him from attempting to entertain the Shinji Matous of the wrestling fandom with his new interview show, the Last Gasp!

Ignoring the offended boos that last statement caused, he then announces his guests for the first edition, the former American Dragon Daniel Bryan, and the 'Big Dog' Maniac. The segment actually goes well for a few minutes afterward, up until CPU accuses Bryan of 'settling for the B8CL Title the same way he settled for his six of a wife' and Maniac of calling other people with rich careers elsewhere lowlives because 'he can't accept that his life peaked as a mid-carder in a bargain bin WCW' at which point they both maul the cyborg.

Miz joins in on the CPU mauling, to the crowd's delight, and then stops to shill his new exercise program, The Mizanin Muscle Mathematics Battle Of Perseverance System, Or MmmBOPS for short! In this program, you learn to add muscle mass while subtracting fat and poor choices from your diet, and as you learn, you'll multiply your self-esteem while dividing how much time you have to spend exercising so you're still energized and ready to spend time with your friends and family! Join him and his special guests Antonio Salieri and Otacon as you learn the algebra of life, and turn hexadecimals... into FLEXadecimals. The crowd is stunned by this, and, after they regain their senses they start throwing fruit at CPU because they blame him for this.

Dario then interrupts this entire kerfuffle by announcing that the team of Bryan and Maniac will face CPU's partner in the MLMF for one of his famous Unique Opportunities.... and that Bryan will defend the B8CL title at the upcoming One Vs All... against the entirety of the healthy B8CL roster, as punishment for his actions tonight, and his heinous disregard for both his coworkers and his own health, at which point Bryan chases after him.

-RAND AL'THOR is in the ring to introduce B8WL's newest talent, and Bangladesh DuPree's opponent tonight. Rand personally identifies with the swath of destruction this man leaves in his wake, and thinks that the whole fed will soon....rest...in....peace. DONNNNGGGGGG.

-Match: Taker v. Bang
....He doesn't quite manage to live up to the hype, though. He tries to mat wrestle Bang, but she's just too quick and feisty for the aging Phenom tonight. Bangladesh even survives a (non-Tombstone) Piledriver on her way to a win!
Winner: Bang

-Deviljho is still wandering around after that opening segment, and tries to eat Taker. Taker no-sells it.

-Match: Mario w/Peach v. Incineroar w/Guzma
The announcers speculate about Mario's relationship with Sonic. Guzma tries to interject...and gets ejected right off the bat! Incineroar protests and gets a dropkick from behind....knocking him into the ref and pancaking him! Ref's down...and SONIC comes out to take over! Guzma decides to stick around until Peach brains him with a frying pan. Handful of punches and a Mushroom Stomp later, it's all over.
Winner: Mario

-After the match, Incineroar does a worked shoot complaining about the refs screwing him and management holding him down.
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....you actually used the math thing. I don't know why but I can't believe you used the math thing o-o' ^_^'
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Oh no, it's Darth Rand. The Moody dark version from the later books.

Soon he will be talking about making himself harder and whatever other emo nonsense he was always spouting in those books.

Someone nominate his dad so we can snap him out of this.
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-Rock and Cena talk for a bit. They got it done last week against the Men of Low Moral Fiber, and Cena's gonna keep it going right now against Mundo!

-Match: Cena v. Mundo
Bryan comes out to ringside to observe Cena pummeling Mundo. After a while, he grabs a mic. He thinks what the fans REALLY wanna see is Cena vs. Bryan! The fans do indeed. Cena and Bryan shake on it, and Bryan says he'll even put up the title if he can keep it through this battle royal! The match is kinda just forgotten about as Cena and Bryan hype the crowd. Rock even joins 'em.
NO CONTEST

-UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY: Bryan/Maniac v. Kora/Eddv
MIKE TYSON is ringside in a MLMF shirt! Caelus gets ejected from ringside early on, because that worked so well in the Guzma match. Eddv struggles to get out of the gate, but eventually tosses Bryan to the outside and then into a barricade. MLMF are in their element on the outside, and are able to nicely doubleteam and cheat. Bryan eventually makes it back into the ring though. Maniac and Kora get tagged at the same time, and Kora rushes straight into a Bionic Elbow! Maniac tags Bryan back in....Knee Plus! That'll do it.
Winners: Bryan/Maniac

-Bryan says they might as well be the Men of Low Wrestling Acumen heyoooooo.

-Match: Mario/Sonic w/ Peach&Tails v. Pentagon/Clegane
dangit I doublebooked again oh well. The heels spend a lot of time arguing with fans on the entry ramp. Perhaps because Mario's already wrestled, Sonic is slow to tag him in, and suffers a lot as a result. Mario accomplishes little once he does see action, but does hit the Mario Tornado on Sandor Clegane before tagging back out. Clegane's back up fast, though, and he plows through Sonic to seal the win.
Winners: Clegane/Pentagon

-Bangladesh claps Mario and Sonic on the back. She respects that they got out there twice, but it sure was fun watching them get wrecked.

-Panthera read an article calling him a crazy cat guy! That's just LUDICROUS! If he was a crazy cat guy, he would've had enough to BEAT the Goombas last week! He's gonna solve this with a REGULAR OL' MATCH.

-Panthera v. Bowser
We get our second ref bump of the evening when an errant Panthera dropkick lays out the poor guy on the outside. He is replaced by LUCHADOR REF, who proceeds to generally foul up the entire affair. He counts at weird paces, misses breaks, and even misses a pinfall count because his mask is on crooked. After this last, an irate Bowser grabs the ref by the throat and shoves him. That's a DQ! Man we just can't get a conclusive match outta these two, and Panthera wants to keep fighting after the bell. Uh go home and order the PPV now for more inconclusive shenanigans!
Winner by DQ: Panthera
---

Emo Rand is very much not my fave but I mean I had to if he was gonna hype Taker :P
---

SHOW 12- ONE VERSUS ALL
MizTV: Miz hosts
MM BELT ON A POLE: Maniac v. Eaed
GRUDGE: Pentagon v. Mario
GRUDGE: Bowser v. Cena
20-MAN CHAMPIONSHIP BATTLE ROYAL: Everybody healthy

FUTURE
BELLAS IN CAGES: Bryan v. Cena
---

Fair enough

Maniac
Pentagon
Cena
Bryan

Bryan

I'm worried about the fact that we weren't told what our unique opportunity is. Hoping it's late entry in the title match.
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Hmm
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I must protect my image from all those hack journalists casting their disingenuous aspersions upon my character
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CPU: *Hipchecks an intern that's eating with his wheelchair, and then begins beating up the intern's lunch.*

Intern: "OW- WHAT-" *Sees what's happening* "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY ARE YOU LIKE-"

CPU: "I AM PUNCHING YOUR SALAD"

INtern: "But it's opposite day."

CPU: "OH NOOOOOOOOOOO"

Salad: https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/jjba/images/9/93/CaesarHamonCutter.png/revision/latest?cb=20131020174310
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o_O
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(this is what happens when you get the thought to mix two different asdf movie thingies to bump the topic)

(and then add a visual pun)
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(it should be noted that normally I dismiss these ideas before I have time to get them on paper. usually for the best)
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the idea is friday but +/- a couple days on that estimate
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Tonight or tomorrow probably yeah
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https://www.rave.dj/UOfrqdx7uDSahw

Show #12- One Versus All

-Miz welcomes Peyton Manning to MizTV! Peyton has a special gift for Miz...it turns out it's a video package of all of the lowlights of Miz's B8WL and Real World career. Manning isn't a fan of all this fakey-bakey wrestling stuff, since he's a REAL athlete, but at least we can all agree that Miz sucks! He turns his back on Miz to mock the fans some more, and gets a Skull Crushing Finale!

-MELEE MAYHEM BELT ON A POLE: Maniac64 v. Eaedwards w/Time Cops
Maniac is FEELIN' IT MAN. Whoever gets to the belt first is allowed to use it as a weapon! Eaed hits Maniac with a closed fist a few times from behind as Maniac plays to the crowd. Maniac chucks Eaed to the outside, but Eaed takes the opportunity to ascend the pole. Maniac charges, but Eaed gets out of the way, causing Maniac to crash into the corner. Eaed snags the belt, but delivers a kinda weak shot with it. Maniac ducks the second shot and tackles Eaed, then levels him with a double axehandle. DDT onto the dropped belt! Eaed kicks out at 2.5. Eaed does a bit of a hulk up and hits an elbow smash. Ref breaks them up out of a clinch, then Eaed follows up with a powerslam. 1....2....2.999. Maniac gets a full nelson applied, but Eaed counters into a jawbreaker. Maniac staggers Eaed with a big headbutt, and goes for the Implant DDT, but Eaed lifts Maniac out of it...but Maniac reverses into a head scissors! Both men are down...here comes Pentagon Jr.! He takes the MM belt and blasts Maniac with it! Eaed protests...and he gets smacked as well! Pentagon says that Eaed can fight him if he has a problem, and leaves with the belt. Dante is seen running in to check on Eaed.
NO CONTEST

-In a backstage vignette, Pentagon, Clegane, and ANTONIO SALIERI talk about hunger, drive, and stepping out of the shadows to take their rightful place.

-Dario Cueto reluctantly announces that Bryan and Maniac have, with their Unique Opportunity TM, won the right to enter tonight's battle royal after ten men have already been eliminated. They'll need all the help they can get, anyway! Also, Mario/Pentagon will also have a Unique Opportunity!

-GRUDGE MATCH: Mario w/Peach v. Pentagon Jr.
Pentagon starts slow with nerve pinches and rest holds, following up with a choke. Mario starts getting mad, and the two have an intense head-touching staredown, which ends with Pentagon getting in a cheap shot. Pentagon berates Mario, who's really showing an uncharacteristic amount of temper. Mario staggers Pentagon with a Mario Tornado, but Pentagon is able to shake it off and apply a chin lock. Mario powers out and slams Pentagon, but Pentagon applies a grounded armlock. Peach slides Mario a Mushroom, and he's able to break the hold, get to his feet first, and hit Pentagon with a Ground Pound. Mario hits a few stomps as Peach cheers him on, then lands a beautifully elevated standing dropkick on the rising Pentagon. 1....2.....3!
Winner: Mario

-Mario's Unique Opportunity...is to show the world he can win without Peach, who will be banned from ringside at the Battle Royal!
EDIT: Also, all of Mario's powerups are now considered PED's, and conflict with B8WL's Wellness Policy!
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-GRUDGE MATCH: John Cena v. Bowser
Bowser gets in an eye poke right off the bat, and follows up with a backbreaker. Just then, some new music hits, and out comes.... @davidponte , UCA Title around his waist! He pulls up a chair at ringside and has a seat. Bowser is only momentarily distracted, and falls on Cena with a bodyslam. Cena pops up, informs Bowser that he can't see him, and drives him back with a clothesline. Bowser catches him with a Face Driver, but as he keeps an eye on david, Cena recovers and hits a Springboard Stunner. The crowd wakes up for Cena, but Bowser cuts that off with a headlock. Rock comes out to keep an eye on stuff, but BOWSER JR. runs over him from behind with the Koopa Kart! Bowser slides out of the ring to whack Rock as well. David remains an observer, and Bowser Jr. gets in some hits on Cena while the ref is trying to get Bowser off Rock! Bowser Crush! 1....2....3!
Winner: Bowser

-Cueto is out, and after that questionable display, he wants to see Bowser Jr. in the ring....teaming with his dad, against Cena and the Rock! More importantly, he wants to know what brings davidponte to the Temple. David came here looking for competition, and it looks like Bowser is a good place to start! He wants Bowser one on one. man get in line we still haven't even resolved the thing with Panthera or the tag team love triangle with Miz and Bryan

-Bryan hopes that the battle royal comes down to him and Maniac- they've both earned their way here, even if it's a battle royal.
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