Current Events > Lmao did Goggalor close his pretentious writing topic after his own was posted

(+) Yeah! (+)

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Darmik posted...

The destroyed topic creator crumpled from his chair and sank to the clouded sward, sprinkling the parched carpet with clear droplets of escaping salt fluid.

i think you just won the topic lol

Nah.
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Darmik posted...

The destroyed topic creator crumpled from his chair and sank to the clouded sward, sprinkling the parched carpet with clear droplets of escaping salt fluid.

I laughed irl
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DuranOfForcena posted...

_Goggalor_ posted...

Why are adjectives bad? Seriously, there's more than one way to say something. Language shouldn't be repetitive.

adjectives aren't bad. just not every single noun needs an adjective. and a lot of times when you think you need to use an adjective to modify a noun, you'd be better off simply choosing a stronger noun.

you say that language shouldn't be repetitive. well, modifying every single noun in a sentence with its own adjective, or worse - multiple adjectives, is the very definition of repetitive.

To elaborate on this, consider cooking as an analogy for writing

Nouns and verbs are the main ingredients, like vegetables or meat. Adjectives and adverbs are spices, like salt and sugar. And the meal itself is the sentence

Use seasoning to enhance the flavor of the dish, not to suppress it
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Darmik posted...

The destroyed topic creator crumpled from his chair and sank to the clouded sward, sprinkling the parched carpet with clear droplets of escaping salt fluid.

Truly magnificent prose

So, to wrap up:

Classic lit>modern
Varied, complex prose>simple prose
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I'm 150 pages onto my novel

I hope people like it

If not then fuck em

But the last thing I wanna do is be jelly over something outside of my control
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has gogg even read marlon james
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AvantgardeAClue posted...

I'm 150 pages onto my novel

I hope people like it

If not then fuck em

But the last thing I wanna do is be jelly over something outside of my control

I have an English degree so if you want me to go over your book Gogg then by all means send it to me

But don't be that guy in my MFA program who thinks he's two steps away from writing the next classic American novel about a twenty something in Queens.

My username exists as a reminder of whay happens when you try too hard BTW

Thanks. And I like your attitude. Artistic integrity is rare these days. And contrary to my previously pompous attitude, I don't believe anything I'll ever write can compare to the titans of classic literature.
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_Goggalor_ posted...

Why are adjectives bad? Seriously, there's more than one way to say something. Language shouldn't be repetitive.

There's nothing inherently wrong with adjectives but they should serve a purpose. Like, "rippling arm" is implicit by the description of the person as a barabrian; you're not going to have some scrawny dude in battle, so it's an unnecessary description.

The swords should also be understood to be steel or at least some form of metal so using steel twice in the same sentence is not only repetitive, it's redundant. It's a matter of not needing to overexplain things and not treating the reader like an idiot.
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Darmik posted...

The destroyed topic creator crumpled from his chair and sank to the clouded sward, sprinkling the parched carpet with clear droplets of escaping salt fluid.

You won the topic.
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chill02 posted...

I also like to pretend I'm an author on CE

Goggalor has self published a number of books actually.

Not that that inherently means anything.
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_Goggalor_ posted...

I'm telling you. If you like garbage, that's on you and theres a ton of it out there. So enjoy I guess. Actual good writers like Dostoevsky are rolling in their graves though.

You're right. Rolling over from the shit you wrote.

Has gog actually got his work edited, or did he publish it as soon as he finished it?
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LightningAce11 posted...

Has gog actually got his work edited, or did he publish it as soon as he finished it?

There are no typos in my latest works. I've made sure to be more thorough now.

Bishop9800 posted...

_Goggalor_ posted...

I'm telling you. If you like garbage, that's on you and theres a ton of it out there. So enjoy I guess. Actual good writers like Dostoevsky are rolling in their graves though.

You're right. Rolling over from the shit you wrote.

Nah. More over the oversimplification of popular culture.
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Second-hand Skin

Dawg the fuck is this cover
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SGT_Conti posted...

_Goggalor_ posted...

Why are adjectives bad? Seriously, there's more than one way to say something. Language shouldn't be repetitive.

There's nothing inherently wrong with adjectives but they should serve a purpose. Like, "rippling arm" is implicit by the description of the person as a barabrian; you're not going to have some scrawny dude in battle, so it's an unnecessary description.

The swords should also be understood to be steel or at least some form of metal so using steel twice in the same sentence is not only repetitive, it's redundant. It's a matter of not needing to overexplain things and not treating the reader like an idiot.

I agree, and that's not what I mean by varied. Of course the word has to make sense. But repitive language is also inherent in using the same descriptors over and over.
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It's not just typos dude. It's story and character choices. Your first draft will never be the best. You have to continually refine it and bounce ideas off your editor.
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AvantgardeAClue posted...

Second-hand Skin

Dawg the fuck is this cover

Trash, that's what. I agree. The others are just fine though.
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The second draft of the book I'm working on right now cut three chapters and added five.
Several characters were cut for redundancy and one or two that I didn't realize I needed were added, and are now major characters.

The climax plays out completely differently.

Multiple drafts are super important >_>
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LightningAce11 posted...

It's not just typos dude. It's story and character choices. Your first draft will never be the best. You have to continually refine it and bounce ideas off your editor.

Eh, some ideas are so crystal and concise to rewrite them endlessly would just be redundant work. A few drafts is fine. You can tell the same story a million different ways, but only one is truly yours.
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Overly purple prose is a crutch for weak or insecure writers
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I think the biggest surprise from this topic is that were over 200 posts in and Gogs hasnt threatened to maim or kill any of his detractors yet.

Its a nice change of pace from his I hide my craziness pretty well topic where he told @Vulgorn to meet him irl so he could break each of his limbs one by one.
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I never thought my Poe's Law sensor would go off because someone here is an insufferable lit snob, of all things.

At least I have a bit of insight on how not to handle promoting my own writing when I reach that point. >_>
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The things

you say

your purple prose just gives you away
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LinksLiege posted...

I never thought my Poe's Law sensor would go off because someone here is an insufferable lit snob, of all things.

At least I have a bit of insight on how not to handle promoting my own writing when I reach that point. >_>

I'm responding to trolling and attacks, not promoting lol.
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I mean Jesus To write is human, to edit is divine and write drunk, edit sober are two of the most overused and parroted sayings about writing. Guess Goggy is too good for it tho
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DuranOfForcena posted...

Alkaloid posted...

Really, those two sentences are fine as ideas

Barbarian attacks soldier (by drawing his sword from behind his shield)
Dead soldier falls off horse (and sprays the ground with his blood)

But those ideas are hopelessly obfuscated by the delivery. The priorities in writing should be ideas, then clarity, then entertainment

How about (and this is just a shitty spitball)

With a mighty cry, the barbarian drew his blade, and forcefully sheathed it in the soldier before him. His foe gurgled momentarily before sliding out of his saddle, bleeding like a fountain.

well, if we're going for constructive criticism here, the object wouldn't be rewrite the whole thing. it is to improve on what is there. and like was said above, cutting off the last sentence at "crimson" would be a good move. here's what i'd make of it:

A blur of steel flashed as the barbarian withdrew his sword from its scabbard and at once thrust forth, burying the blade into the soldier's vital organs up to the hilt. The disemboweled mercenary crumpled from his saddle and sank to the ground, sprinkling the parched dirt with crimson.

i did the best i could with no context, as i'm not entirely sure about some of the framing or blocking or whatever he is going for.

Oooh, ooo, lemme try:

It was a dark and stormy night. Big mighty man, Grunt Cliffjaw, big strong, big muscles, grunts bigly. Some spear-totting fuckwit charged into the wall of murder meat and was swat down like a fly. Blood was everywhere.
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You look at the prose of something like Eragon:

"Every day since leaving the outpost of Ceris was a hazy dream of warm afternoons spent paddling up Eldor Lake and then the Gaena River. All around them, water gurgled through the tunnel of verdant pines that wound ever deeper into Du Weldenvarden. Eragon found traveling with the elves delightful. Nar and Lifaen were perpetually smiling, laughing, and singing songs, especially when Saphira was around. They rarely looked elsewhere or spoke of another subject but her in her presence. However, the elves were not human, no matter the similarity of appearance. They moved too quickly, too fluidly, for creatures born of simple flesh and blood. And when they spoke, they often used roundabout expressions and aphorisms that left Eragon more confused than when they began. In between their bursts of merriment, Lifaen and Nar would remain silent for hours, observing their surroundings with a glow of peaceful rapture on their faces. If Eragon or Orik attempted to talk with them during their contemplation, they would receive only a word or two in response."

This is way too flowery and verbose. You like this stuff?
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16-BITTER posted...

CanuckCowboy posted...

chill02 posted...

I also like to pretend I'm an author on CE

Goggalor has self published a number of books actually.

Not that that inherently means anything.

There was an article on how it is not only absurdly easy to publish a book on Amazon regardless of quality, it's pretty easy to get on their bestsellers list too.

I've heard a few stories of people making an easy buck with erotic literature on there.
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I'm reading some passages and tbh I'd be thinking "did this dude have a word/page quota to hit" if this topic didn't exist.

Take this one for instance:

Somewhat devilishly I dabbled in intoxication, given to perversion of the mind and a fair ways past the point of caring to do anything about it.

You could've said "I'm drinking tonight" and it would've told me the same thing. Hell it probably would've been more powerful from how nonchalant it was being said. How does one do something "devilishly" anyway? This is why adverbs are newbie bait.

Somewhere on the river Acheron, I sold a part of my soul. It was fairpennny for a two, that is to say nice weather for a Tuesday, and I imparted upon the old man that lived near the isle a most curious visage, it stands to reason, for I was bloodied and bandaged so. My wounds were superficial but I must say, I really was very sad to see the blood there at all. What a fine thing, to live and die in dizzying excess. I Should be glad to say I did not suffer, though I may damn myself again through the lie. I was feeling a certain kind of way for a certain period of time and in no uncertain terms would I allow it to continue. I took the knife, I scratched the itch. Nothing of it besides the janitorial duties I bestowed on the clearly left me with any shame or regret, though the deed one I knew I would be ferried through Acheron. Elysium is for the meek and the mild, my brothers and sisters, and in no way did my curiosities lean towards either persuasion.


Everything after the first sentence is called "helicopter hovering", you're flying around looking for a place to land your story but there's no landing zone because there's no focus. Is he spouting philosophy or is he trying to tell me his story? I'm not sure at this point.

You see, the easiest way must be the best. That is surely it." Easy does it". "Take it easy".

Sounds like you need to take your own advice tbh. Complex wording only works when the storytelling doesn't take a hit in the process. Most of your story's text can be retold in several fewer sentences, and that's not really a good thing.
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Somewhat devilishly I dabbled in trolling, given to perversion of the mind and a fair ways past the point of caring to do anything about it.
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Goggy should take some classes in academic writing to learn how to write with more conciseness and less flowery bullshit trying to fill empty space.
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16-BITTER posted...

Only stating that self-publishing isn't an achievement if you're doing it through Amazon, where they do all the leg work and you take on no financial risk if the book doesn't sell.

Seems like a good place to put stuff that the author knows isn't good enough to get published elsewhere.
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_Goggalor_ posted...

So, to wrap up:

Classic lit>modern
Varied, complex prose>simple prose

Here is an old famous bit from Shakespeare.

It sounds literally nothing at all like what you write. Granted it is not prose.

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy; he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar?

You don't have to write Shakespeare level but doing literally the opposite and insisting that it's what classical authors did is madness.
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LightningAce11 posted...

You look at the prose of something like Eragon:

"Every day since leaving the outpost of Ceris was a hazy dream of warm afternoons spent paddling up Eldor Lake and then the Gaena River. All around them, water gurgled through the tunnel of verdant pines that wound ever deeper into Du Weldenvarden. Eragon found traveling with the elves delightful. Nar and Lifaen were perpetually smiling, laughing, and singing songs, especially when Saphira was around. They rarely looked elsewhere or spoke of another subject but her in her presence. However, the elves were not human, no matter the similarity of appearance. They moved too quickly, too fluidly, for creatures born of simple flesh and blood. And when they spoke, they often used roundabout expressions and aphorisms that left Eragon more confused than when they began. In between their bursts of merriment, Lifaen and Nar would remain silent for hours, observing their surroundings with a glow of peaceful rapture on their faces. If Eragon or Orik attempted to talk with them during their contemplation, they would receive only a word or two in response."

This is way too flowery and verbose. You like this stuff?

Lol no. That's better than Sanderson though . When I say flowery, I mean something like Poe.
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Tyranthraxus posted...

_Goggalor_ posted...

So, to wrap up:

Classic lit>modern
Varied, complex prose>simple prose

Here is an old famous bit from Shakespeare.

It sounds literally nothing at all like what you write. Granted it is not prose.

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy; he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar?

You don't have to write Shakespeare level but doing literally the opposite and insisting that it's what classical authors did is madness.

Mine is somewhere in the middle.
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_Goggalor_ posted...

I mean something like Poe.

Poe wrote poetry. You have to do what you have to do to fit in the meter/verse.

Prose doesn't have those restrictions.
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Tyranthraxus posted...

_Goggalor_ posted...

I mean something like Poe.

Poe wrote poetry. You have to do what you have to do to fit in the meter/verse.

Prose doesn't have those restrictions.

Poe also wrote a ton of short stories, which is what I'm referring to, not his poems.
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Poe wrote prose as well to be fair.
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0AbsoluteZero0 posted...

I think the biggest surprise from this topic is that were over 200 posts in and Gogs hasnt threatened to maim or kill any of his detractors yet.

Its a nice change of pace from his I hide my craziness pretty well topic where he told @Vulgorn to meet him irl so he could break each of his limbs one by one.

jesus so hes a legit psychopath huh

It was fairpennny for a two, that is to say nice weather for a Tuesday

I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm reading this part here over and over again and all I can think about is this:

https://imgur.com/BfWFDo8
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LedZeppelin posted...

jesus so hes a legit psychopath huh

The bad writing and all that makes a bit more sense with that perspective.
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