Poll of the Day > Anyone ever get out of jury duty?

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Cacciato
05/10/17 6:21:45 PM
#1:


I know @Jen0125 will be pissed, but I need some ideas.

I can't do jury duty 5 weeks into a new job, and I haven't been selected out of the pool yet, but I gotta start brainstorming some goddamn ideas now.
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SmokeMassTree
05/10/17 6:23:26 PM
#2:


When the lawyers ask you questions just say the opposite of what you think they want to hear.
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madadude
05/10/17 6:24:38 PM
#3:


Also show up at the last minute so you aren't late, but it is likely they already have enough people and just send you home as soon as you get there.
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Cacciato
05/10/17 6:24:45 PM
#4:


SmokeMassTree posted...
When the lawyers ask you questions just say the opposite of what you think they want to hear.

Fair enough. I heard if you're prior law enforcement that they tend to not pick you anyway, so hopefully that works in my favor.

My Hail Mary attempt is gonna be a temporary tattoo of 88 in a clover or something.
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Zangrief
05/10/17 6:25:07 PM
#5:


They can't hold Jury duty against you. Not legally.

That being said, I got out of it for 6 years by telling them I'm the sole income earner in my household and I can't afford to not be paid, I wouldn't be able to pay rent. Then I stated that my job does not pay for Jury Selection, only actual Seating. So I was excused.

Finally got another summons this year.
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Cacciato
05/10/17 6:25:49 PM
#6:


Zangrief posted...
They can't hold Jury duty against you. Not legally.

That being said, I got out of it for 6 years by telling them I'm the sole income earner in my household and I can't afford to not be paid, I wouldn't be able to pay rent. Then I stated that my job does not pay for Jury Selection, only actual Seating. So I was excused.

Finally got another summons this year.

Economic hardship was another technique I heard too, so I'll probably try that as well.
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SushiSquid
05/10/17 6:27:10 PM
#7:


I've been called up for jury duty twice, but never selected. My secret? Well, I've always looked very young for my age and both times I was super eager and willing to serve. I'm not sure if looking like a child got me dismissed or if they only want people whose day will be ruined.
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FellWolf
05/10/17 6:29:43 PM
#8:


Act racist and far right conservative
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Melon_Master
05/10/17 6:43:08 PM
#9:


FellWolf posted...
Act racist and far right conservative

This. ^^^ Say what you imagine ICO would say, I doubt any lawyer would choose you. <__<
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Smarkil
05/10/17 6:44:46 PM
#10:


Don't you have PTSD or something?

Tell them you have PTSD.
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myghostisdead
05/10/17 6:46:26 PM
#11:


Yeah once at the beginning of the school year but I didn't try the second time. I was the first person chosen and although it was one case that drug on all day it was very interesting.
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Jen0125
05/10/17 6:50:07 PM
#12:


omg ya bitch
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Cacciato
05/10/17 6:53:58 PM
#13:


Melon_Master posted...
FellWolf posted...
Act racist and far right conservative

This. ^^^ Say what you imagine ICO would say, I doubt any lawyer would choose you. <__<

Not a bad idea. Whatever gets em to look at me and get the reaction of that stick figure with the dog after it talks.

Smarkil posted...
Don't you have PTSD or something?

Tell them you have PTSD.

I guess that might work.


Jen0125 posted...
omg ya bitch

Lol. Look bruh, I'm starting a new job and I can't interrupt that shit to be a juror for god knows how long. Fuck this city anyway
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JOExHIGASHI
05/10/17 6:56:38 PM
#14:


You can't get fired for participating in jury duty.

Call them and tell them you don't speak English or get someone to do that for you
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Zeus
05/10/17 6:57:57 PM
#15:


You can no-show your initial appointment and just take a fine in most states (which they sometimes don't even collect), something I didn't realize until after I had gone. However, once you're actually picked as a juror, you could face imprisonment for skipping.

Otherwise you could pretend to know somebody involved in the case, you could pretend to know details of the case (and, if you look at what's the docket for that week, you could actually try to google info about the case to compromise yourself), and you can lie about a conflict of interest.

There are legit issues which can get you out, although even financial hardship isn't a guarantee. I think the one guaranteed thing is if you're the sole guardian of a child under the age of 7 because they repeatedly brought that up.

madadude posted...
Also show up at the last minute so you aren't late, but it is likely they already have enough people and just send you home as soon as you get there.


I can't imagine that possibly working since when I went they took *everybody* except for the one person who showed up after instructions and I'm not sure that they actually got out of it scot-free.
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Allisonata
05/10/17 6:58:54 PM
#16:


Don't go.
Pay the fines.
???
Win in part!
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Cacciato
05/10/17 6:59:09 PM
#17:


JOExHIGASHI posted...
You can't get fired for participating in jury duty.

Call them and tell them you don't speak English or get someone to do that for you

Getting fired isn't the point. It's the timing that sucks. If this happened a year from now I'd be stoked to do it, but not right at the beginning of me learning how to do my job.
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Zeus
05/10/17 7:00:25 PM
#18:


Cacciato posted...
JOExHIGASHI posted...
You can't get fired for participating in jury duty.

Call them and tell them you don't speak English or get someone to do that for you

Getting fired isn't the point. It's the timing that sucks. If this happened a year from now I'd be stoked to do it, but not right at the beginning of me learning how to do my job.


You can request a delay at which point you'll be asked to serve at a later date.
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Firewood18
05/10/17 7:28:44 PM
#19:


I just delayed my jury duty summons for 4 months because it is my busy time of year for work.
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WhiskeyDisk
05/10/17 7:34:30 PM
#20:


I've only ever made it to the courtroom interview stage of jury duty one out of the three times I've been called for jury duty. Luckily, that one time involved a case where there was a car accident in my neighborhood at a dodgy intersection and I made it known I was hardly impartial under the circumstances.
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obsolete
05/10/17 8:55:34 PM
#21:


The trick to get out of jury duty is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
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Bugmeat
05/10/17 9:00:50 PM
#22:


I just took my summons to my employer. They handled it for everyone. I simply ignored the last summons because I forgot to take it to my employer. Nothing happened.
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Doctor Foxx
05/10/17 9:06:51 PM
#23:


Be a cat

moWSy6H

Oh darn
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Sahuagin
05/10/17 10:05:38 PM
#24:


I asked to be exempted, and explained my anxiety problems in a letter, and they accepted it.
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Cacciato
05/10/17 10:08:47 PM
#25:


If the cat thing doesnt work out then I'll probably ask for a delay at a minimum. I guess this is what I get for paying my property taxes :(
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Darth Rustito
05/10/17 10:34:11 PM
#26:


I've been called twice, and have very quickly been excused both times by the defense attorney.
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helly
05/10/17 10:39:41 PM
#27:


tf dude

go fucking do it, it's probably awesome
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Cacciato
05/10/17 10:41:18 PM
#28:


helly posted...
tf dude

go fucking do it, it's probably awesome

I'm not about to dip out of a brand new job five weeks in for something that might last a goddamn month.

Like I said earlier, If this happened a year from now I'd be fucking stoked, but not right now and these cocksuckers had the last four years to give me a summons.
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TheCyborgNinja
05/10/17 10:42:13 PM
#29:


My dad's a federal police officer, so I just assumed that'd create a bias in any criminal investigation, combined with my "better safe than sorry" attitude if the person looks like they probably committed a crime at some point anyway ("professional protester" types, etc.)

So if they've got an existing record, say, I will 100% stick to guilty, regardless of if I think they did this crime. Conversely, if I feel their crime was justified (like they killed the guy who stole their car), I'd refuse to go along with anything except "not guilty" because I believe they were right.

Tell them stuff like this. If you're being honest, they will likely know and recuse you.
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helly
05/10/17 10:45:43 PM
#30:


Cacciato posted...
helly posted...
tf dude

go fucking do it, it's probably awesome

I'm not about to dip out of a brand new job five weeks in for something that might last a goddamn month.

Like I said earlier, If this happened a year from now I'd be fucking stoked, but not right now and these cocksuckers had the last four years to give me a summons.

any reputable job is going to understand that jury duty is a thing that happens dude
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AElaias
05/10/17 10:55:50 PM
#31:


The sole reason of my exception to be a jury is that my chronic health disorder prevented me to leave my house at the time. It was not good when I was gung-ho to fulfil a citizen duty until it had stricken me of a sudden as a lightning bolt. I would say go for it always, as you will help improve this world in adjudication with your sensibility and maturity.
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WaffIeElite
05/10/17 11:00:49 PM
#32:


"What are you looking at me for? I'm not the one guilty one here!"

That works.
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Melon_Master
05/11/17 1:30:13 AM
#33:


Cacciato posted...
Melon_Master posted...
FellWolf posted...
Act racist and far right conservative

This. ^^^ Say what you imagine ICO would say, I doubt any lawyer would choose you. <__<

Not a bad idea. Whatever gets em to look at me and get the reaction of that stick figure with the dog after it talks.

Neither side wants a vocally opinionated juror that is incapable of perceiving they are ignorant of even the crudest level of the justice system.
Let alone one that doesn't care to ever shift their perspective or venture outside their comfort zone.
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TheCyborgNinja
05/11/17 1:33:34 AM
#34:


^You could always draw a swastika on a plain T-shirt with a marker and wear that.
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"message parlor" ? do you mean the post office ? - SlayerX888
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Zeus
05/11/17 1:38:26 AM
#35:


TheCyborgNinja posted...
My dad's a federal police officer, so I just assumed that'd create a bias in any criminal investigation, combined with my "better safe than sorry" attitude if the person looks like they probably committed a crime at some point anyway ("professional protester" types, etc.)

So if they've got an existing record, say, I will 100% stick to guilty, regardless of if I think they did this crime. Conversely, if I feel their crime was justified (like they killed the guy who stole their car), I'd refuse to go along with anything except "not guilty" because I believe they were right.

Tell them stuff like this. If you're being honest, they will likely know and recuse you.


You're aware that not all court cases are criminal, right? In fact, some of the worst cases are civil.
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DarkKirby2500
05/11/17 1:44:52 AM
#36:


If you actually go for the interview wear a "Make America Great Again" Hat, if you live in a conservative state wear a "Feel the Bern" Hat or walk in with a shirt with Hillary's face on it.

Don't stop talking about how extreme your political views are.
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TheCyborgNinja
05/11/17 1:53:27 AM
#37:


Zeus posted...
TheCyborgNinja posted...
My dad's a federal police officer, so I just assumed that'd create a bias in any criminal investigation, combined with my "better safe than sorry" attitude if the person looks like they probably committed a crime at some point anyway ("professional protester" types, etc.)

So if they've got an existing record, say, I will 100% stick to guilty, regardless of if I think they did this crime. Conversely, if I feel their crime was justified (like they killed the guy who stole their car), I'd refuse to go along with anything except "not guilty" because I believe they were right.

Tell them stuff like this. If you're being honest, they will likely know and recuse you.


You're aware that not all court cases are criminal, right? In fact, some of the worst cases are civil.

Yeah, I know. It was just an example of what a dick I would be.
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TentacleDemon
05/11/17 3:40:57 AM
#38:


Beyond the obvious joke responses, it's pretty clear that a lot of the people in this topic have no actual experience with jury duty. Lawyers see that over the top, faux bias gimmick all the time. They generally see right through it. If you want to pull that off you need to be subtle about it. But since you don't generally know what the case will be about you can't exactly tailor your act to it.

Being a "known it all", someone with a fair bit of knowledge of the law, or someone who thinks they know the law is far more likely to get you excused by one of the attorneys than being a pretend bigot
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