Board 8 > B8UCA Presents: Friday Afternoon RUIN! Ft. Taybles title, CPU's decision!

(+) Yeah! (+)

(THERE WILL BE AN EASY VOTE FORM IN EITHER THIS OR THE NEXT POST)

REGULAR RULES:
1. No rallying/cheating/alts/etc
2. Matches last 24 hours
3. User with the most votes wins.
4. In any multi-person match, ONLY VOTE FOR ONE PERSON.
5. You may not change or delete and repost your vote!
6. Have fun!
7. YOU CAN VOTE FOR YOURSELF!
8. Newcomers are welcome!
9. “Abstain” is binding! If you want to vote later, don’t list anything or say you’re waiting.
Current main topic:
https://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/75112983

UCA Master File:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gnuLaP8bOlDXKbs3Y1Y-8kbLkinD-CSr1K7aKfrQKqo/edit?hl=en&pli=1#

MAIN EVENT

I LIKE GOOOLD (and wood) - Taybles Match for the Master of Taybles title: B8UCA MELEE MAYHEM Champion IHateThisCPU vs. Master of Taybles WiggumFan267
We all know how much CPU loves championships and now he has a chance to be a double champion! He fights Wigs for the taybles title TONIGHT by virtue of casting the tabling vote for Wigs over EmeraldEgg at Pandemonium! First vote with a message ID ending in 0 ends the match.

Undercard

Vengeance: StifledSilence vs. XIII_rocks
WotR are back on the shelf so it's time to see where I'm at as a singles competitor. I'll start by taking on the previous #1 contender and taking some revenge on the Empire in the process.

A force for chaos: eaedwards and Maniac64 vs. Mercs United (Tom Bombadil and Boko)
Yes, a non-title tag-team match between two actual tag-teams! eaed and Maniac look to prove their strength against the dethroned champions.

gravy vs. the flock: greengravy vs. Broken Raven
gravy suffered a heavy defeat at eddv's hands, but how will he fare against another member of the flock. Could this awkward 2-on-1 situation be the end of gravy?

DECISION TIME: @IHateThisCPU
CPU must decide whether to trade in his MELEE MAYHEM title for a shot at the Undisputed Championship at MOUNTAIN OF MAYHEM, or keep said title. What will he choose? Let's find out!

The Phoenix Egg: EmeraldEgg vs. King Apollo_Phoenix
A first-time ever match pits the UCA's hottest newcomer up against the King himself, Apollo, who is preparing for his tag-team title match at Mountain of Mayhem!

All-Champions Tag: B8UCA Tag-Team Champions Simply Rich (TheSultanOfSlam and Mr. Money in the Bank davidponte) vs. B8UCA Undisputed Champion DpOblivion and B8UCA LW Champion Solioxrz362
Can DP and Solio co-exist on the same team against our new tag champs? Will it be a FUN! experience for them if they can?
---

SIX-MATCH VOTE FORM

CPU vs. Wigs
Stifled vs. XIII
eaed/Maniac vs. Tom/Boko
gravy vs. Raven
EmeraldEgg vs. Apollo
Sultan/david vs. DP/Solio
---

CPU
Stifled
eaed/Maniac
Raven
Apollo
DP/Solio
---

Wigs
XIII
eaed/Maniac
Raven
EmeraldEgg
DP/Solio fun!
---

XIII_rocks posted...

A first-time ever match pits the UCA's hottest newcomer up against the King himself

I remember when I was the UCA's hottest newcomer.

In the present, though, I, along with Sultan, am your Tag Team Champion. We've got a big match coming up in a few weeks, but for now, what better way to have our first showing as Champions than against two other great Champions?

Should be a fun time, right?
---

Wigs
XIII
Eaed/Maniac
Raven
Emeraldegg
DP/Solio
---

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGUtRHc3d7s

The music plays, but there is... no one here, and there is some confusion for a time, enough for the crowd to realize that I am not coming out, and then the Titantron flickers to life, revealing me, and what appears to be the Melee Mayhem title in a mostly quiet train station at the break of dawn.... elsewhere.

Oi, oi? Is the feed workin' proper-like? It is? Wonderful. (Turns off to the side) Geoffrey, many apologies for the trouble never really hijacked a satellite feed from this distance before, was right worried about makin' a roight twit of meself on regional television. 'ere's the 80 Euro as we agreed upon, and an additional tenner for stickin' around this long. (Tosses a stack of rubberbanded bills at an unknown off-screen presence, then turns back to the camera.)

...Roight, now... you're all most loikely wonderful why oi'm in a train station somewhere in Europe instead of in that building preparing for what would undoubtedly be an... (dry and sarcastic) thrilling
tayble's championship match. Well.. it's a long story, but after a couple of days of having to think about how best to explain the situation, Oi think Oi can explain it as such...

Oi, as of two days ago, had my short-term contract for the B8UCA and the ability to work for it run out. (Begins pacing back and forth on the train station platform) There were some... snags in negotiations, mostly related to proper capitalization of me name and forcing me into matches for potential gold that Oi have less than no use for And as such, me lawyers and the UCA legal staff, as overworked and disappointed in their life choices as they are, were... unable to come to an agreement, mostly due to their refusing to acknowledge how certain letters of me name look.

(Claps my hands together) Now, wot does this mean for... (And claps a hand to the belt) this, I suppose you're asking. ...Presumably, I honestly can't tell because how windy it is here and if you're even hearing this, I'm just assuming you can hear this explanation, because if you can't Oi'm just ramblin' for no reason, and bollocks.

Assuming you can, this, as Oi am currently informed, means that... this belt roight here, as much as Oi don't really want it, is my property. Now, Oi didn't want this, partially because Oi don't want or need gold, and partially because Oi knew me contract was short term, and oi didn't... really have any desire to return after the contract ran dry. Was gonna be in and out, get some ring-rust off and go back onto the independent scene and probably onto better things.

...However, Oi... can't really leave the UCA entirely and leave me good partner Sol 'igh 'n' dry, Oi did not intend to become part of a team, and Oi didn't... really expect us to work as well as we do, and he's the only real reason Oi'm leavin' this message, and even considerin' comin' back at all... after a short... hiatus, in UCA terms.

Y'see, what Oi said still holds true, Oi don't want this belt, and Oi want to be rid of it. ...However... as a... free agent, or... as I choose to put this... traveling representative of the UCA... Oi now have... options of where to defend this. Oi've me fingers in a lot of pies over 'ere on this side of the planet, and a number of people Oi've been wantin' to work against, but couldn't really justify doing so under me contract... sooooo... (grinning and opening me arms to the camera) OPEN CHALLENGE FOR THE UNITED KINGDOM AND EUROPEAN WORKERS FOR THE UCA MELEE MAYHEM CHALLENGE! Anyone that works 'ere, and dinnae have ties to the UCA, Oi'm take ye on! oi'm gonna be 'ere for the next... three weeks? Maybe four? Dependin' on how long negotiations take.

As such, for the UCA... oi will not be around for... 'Mountain of Mayhem', was it? And, as such will not be contending for the Undisputed title. (to be continued, what am I doing with my life)
---

*Strife accompanies King Apollo to the ring, wielding a microphone*

I want to assure everyone that tonight, I am here in a non-combative capacity. It is a role I haven't had to assume for a while, considering recent forays into devastation. I say this for the benefit of the audience, the benefit of the "superstars" in the back, and the benefit of this...person in the ring. You are only in the position of facing Him because you are the "new guy." You are nowhere close to ready to face a man who has beaten our current world champion one on one, and dusted off WotR last weekend. You have nothing. You are nothing, and you will BE nothing, once His Majesty is through with you. But good luck. You might make something of yourself, someday.

Now, I want to turn my attention to Sultan and David.

I want to call attention to something XIII said in the show opener: co-existence. In tag team wrestling, co-existence or "chemistry" accounts for everything. As great as you two are individually, you would be forgiven for thinking that translates to instant chemistry. You are both loud, obnoxious, and annoying people. I'm sure you get along well.

But in the ring, you have to take stock of more than personality. You need to take stock of who is in front of you. Now, champions you are, but look who you beat. Tom may be a fighting administrator, but Boko has spent his twilight years swatting flies. You also had Raven show up and take Tom out for you. How special that must feel. On the other hand, His Majesty and I were challenged by XIII and Nick with weeks of preparation for their absolute worst. The end result: we left them laying as promised.

Now, just for reference, Sultan likes to claim he's one step ahead. I wonder if he studies history. If he did, he'd remember that when I teamed with him against the same WotR tandem, for our titles no less, we lost. Apollo helped me win where Sultan helped me lose...I wonder why?

You two need to concern yourself with your own egos. You want to show off, hit big moves, and get the glory. All it takes is for one of you to lose your heads, cause confusion with each other, and we will prevail. Sultan succeeds because he's big, dumb, and strong. David succeeds thanks to charisma and theatrics. His Majesty and I win because we adapt to every single opponent in every situation. I can outwrestle Sultan any day of the week, His Majesty can defuse David's charisma with sheer talent. We know the in-and-outs of the ring, and we trust what we both can do. But we proved to WotR that if we want to, we can just as easily kick you in the balls and win dirty.

Success in UCA is bred through longevity, constant refinement, and adaptation. Sultan has never changed. David hasn't learned HOW to change. That will bite you both in the ass at Mountain of Mayhem. You will lose, whether you screw yourselves up, or we beat you up.

*Drops mic and moves to ringside*
---

'owever, this still leaves the problem of what to do with this in the next few weeks, because oi recognise that ye cannae have a belt such as this without an in-organization champion. No worries, Oi 'ad a smithing friend of moine make a new belt when Oi 'ad me doubts about negotiations finishin' before the deadline. Should be on yer desk, XIII, or if it isn't it should be arrivin' in the next... hour and a half. 'opefully.

Do with it as you will, but Oi'd suggest, personally, do whatcha were plannin' and makin' that tournament for a new champ, 'ey? Moight have some words about that when oi get back, but that's a problem fer down the road, 'ey? (winks)

Just a few more words, before Oi begin me grand tour of the European continent, and oi *will* be keeping all of you informed about that by cinemation means, dinnae worry... Sol, Oi'm really sorry Oi dinnae tell ye where Oi was goin, and Oi promise Oi'll be back soon, Oi didn't have time to stick around to tell ye because Oi would've missed me flight over here. Oi had me paycheck from the last month transferred to your account, spend it however you'd like in the meantime.

Maniac... (grin widens, evilly) NOW DO YE HAVE HATRED FOR ME? As Oi told Sol, Oi apologise, but... Oi have yer belt And again, Oi'll be back in a little under a month... hopefully with it still in tow, and you'll have yer shot at it then, if yer not fine with the shoiny new one Oi left there.

And Bombadil... Oi saw the petition to 'ave me defend this against Luster, so this is as much YOUR FAULT as it is mine and the lawyers.

Anyhow, Oi'm afraid Oi 'ave to get going me trains arriving... (A long honk comes closer to the current position.) ...NOW, and if Oi don't get on it, Oi'm gonna be waitin' anutha three hours for the next train. (salutes cheekily) Toodles! See all of ya on de otha side! (turns off the feed)

Stifled
eaed/Maniac
Raven
Apollo
DP/Solio

(...I spent 45 minutes writing these two posts. What is WRONG with me. >_<)
---

IhatethisCPU posted...

(...I spent 45 minutes writing these two posts. What is WRONG with me. >_<)

UCA life. It's in our blood.
---

tayble tayble tayble tayble tayble tayble tayble
get taybled in THIS, THE POST OF ALL TAYBLES


Wigs
XIII
Tom/Boko
gravy
EmeraldEgg
DP/Solio
---

Well then, I guess I'm not facing CPU at Mountain of Mayhem. Enjoy your trip through Europe. Maybe stop and visit medieval UCAvania.

Now, where does that leave me? I've beaten Raven, I've beaten Stifled, and everyone else seems rather tied up with tag team drama. Maybe I could continue to team up with Solio in CPU's absence and join the TAG TEAM BATTLE ROYALE, but we'd still need an UNDISPUTED HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP match. Maybe I should head on out to Europe with CPU, but no, then I would disappoint all the great UCA fans who come out to see their champion put on a great show.

I guess we'll see where this road takes me. See if anyone else is worthy and has a desire to challenge. And for now, I'll just continue being the UNDISPUTED HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.
---

CPU
Stifled
Eaed/Maniac
Raven
Apollo
Sultan/David

With CPU not going for the Undisputed Title, that leaves the obvious challenger as...

*nails XIII with a German Suplex*

Me.
---

Wigs
Stifled
Tom/Boko
gravy
EmeraldEgg
Sultan/david
---

CPU
XIII
I have a few words for Tombat.
Raven
EmeraldEgg
Sultan/david
---

Is he not defending melee mayhem title either?
---

Hey, CPU, how's another title sound? You just got it.
---

Strife sure likes to talk, doesn't he? I mean, he's good at it, and when you've got it, you flaunt it, but talking is really all he does.

You know, I've been here for nearly a year at this point, and during that time, I've clashed with a number of storied superstars. I've won and lost my fair share of battles, but the thing I've heard a hundred times over is how great they all were back in their heyday.

Strife's been back for a little while now, and what has he done, other than talk? He beat Sultan. Once. He, along with Apollo, I'll add, beat WotR, a team who also has the issue of attempting to relive former glory, unable to realize that, just maybe, the World has passed them by. Once.

Why is Strife a big deal? Anyone can get lucky against a great superstar once, and beat a team who doesn't even show up. Is that what our measure for success is here at the UCA? Let's have him main event Mountain of Mayhem against DP, while were at it, because he's clearly a force to be reckoned with, thanks to his two meaningless victories.

Or, wait. Maybe he isn't. Maybe he's not a big deal. Maybe it all goes back to the first two points I made.

Strife is a great talker, and he can talk about his supposed chemistry with Apollo, or how, just like everyone else I've ever faced, he was great in the past. Hey man, it's not the past, and just like I didn't care what my opponents used to do in all my other feuds, I don't care what you've done.

You can talk all you want. Make it seem like you're some kind of great, mysterious force that is always one wrong glance away from destroying it all. But, unlike a lot of the people here, I see through the bulls***, and realize that when it comes down to it, your mouth is all you really got going for you at this point in your career.

You clung to a top competitor in Apollo, and now are using him to help you taste success again. You targeted Sultan and myself because you know we're two great competitors, and know that a victory over us is just what you need to get you back to the top.

So please, continue to ramble on about how much you and Apollo click while Sultan and I have apparently never been part of a team before. Continue to believe that you somehow possess this "chemistry" that Sultan and I lack because of your..., yeah, you guessed it, past.

Let's see how far that gets you, because at Mountain of Mayhem, it won't be very far.
---

Apollo_Phoenix's name is both correct, and incorrect.
Apollo is correct because he'll be knocked into space after I'm through with him.
Phoenix is incorrect because he will NOT rise again. He will be naught but ashes. Perhaps because he flew into the sun when I knocked him into space?
---

(ON THE DAMN TRAIN)

HOW

OI AM ON A TRAIN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DAMN WORLD

HOW IN THE BLUE HELL WIGS

WHEN THIS TRIP IS OVER THE FIRST THING OI'M GONNA DO IS FIND YOU AND SLAP YOU SO HARD CHARLIE MURPHY WILL LOOK AT YOU AND THINK HE GOT OFF EASY WHEN HE JUST HAD TO DEAL WITH RICK JAMES


(also, technically yes but not in the UCA, if that makes sense, eaed? Go look up the Ironman Heavymetalweight with Joey Ryan but MORE IMPORTANTLY Chuck Taylor's 24/7 Hardcore title shenanigans for this belt over the next few weeks because VIGINETTES. but that's why there's another MM belt because... yehhhh figure this might not be kosher for most folk OOC so I figured best to cover that as well in case)

(...also I hope I made the right reference there)
---

CPU
Stifled
eaed/Maniac
Raven
EmeraldEgg vs. Apollo
Sultan/david v
---

Wigs
XIII
Tom/Boko
gravy
EmeraldEgg
DP/Solio
---

Strife yet again you are behind we beat wotr before you did..
---

Good. Sultan's brain works. *Slow clap*

When did I say you didn't beat them before us? When did I say I cared? WINNING is important, not when it is done.
---

TAYBLED
Stifled
eaed/Maniac
Raven
Apollo
Sultan/david
---

Stifled
eaed/Maniac
Raven
Apollo
Sultan/david

Hmph.

Peasants.

I am your King. I will soon be one-half of your tag team champions. Life is good in the Kingdom. Life may not be so good for david and Sultan, however confident they may feel. Come Mountain of Mayhem, they will be lucky if my beast and I allow them to feel anything. Quite frankly, whatever pointless drivel is coming out of their or whoever I'm facing's mouths is uninteresting to The King. I'll allow Strife to do what he does best and shut you up himself while I attend to more pressing matters, like preparing for our tag team title match.

Long May We Reign
---

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT IS TIME FOR SOME FUN!

And that's why Dp and I can certainly co-exist! We may have been bitter rivals before, but I'm just here to have fun! Dp is my friend! He's my buddy! Maybe not in the same way that CPU is my buddy, but still! I think that this team will be fun for the time being so let's do this!

(But come back soon CPU! WE <3 YOU! I <3 YOU!)

*Solio trips up David and makes it rain over him with part of CPU's paycheck*

CPU
XIII
eaed/Maniac
EmeraldEgg
Dp/Solio
---

DAMN YOU CPU! YOU GET BACK HERE WITH THAT BELT! OR SO HELP ME I WILL FLY TO ENGLAND AND TAKE IT FROM YOU! AND I DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH FREQUENT FLYER MILES FOR THAT!


Wigs
XIII
Tom/Boko
Raven
Apollo
Sultan/david
---

TheSultanOfSlam posted...

EmeraldEgg vs. Apollo

Wut
---

Emeraldegg posted...

TheSultanOfSlam posted...

EmeraldEgg vs. Apollo

Wut

That usually means abstaining without actually abstaining in case he changes his mind later (since explicit abstains are binding, but there's no rule about having to vote on everything at once). Or, he potentially forgot to vote, but I doubt it.

This has been a helpful message from a King to his Kingdom's denizens. You may bow in gratitude.

(Peasant.)
---

I will never bow to you, you insignificant insect.

(thanks)
---

Wigs

YOU CANNOT LEAVE TOWN WITH MY TITLE AND GET MY VOTE STILL! THAT IS NOT FUN!

Stifled
eaed/Maniac
gravy
EmeraldEgg
Sultan/david
---

bump
---