Board 8 > Oh god... I think my neighbours just saw me naked.

(+) Yeah! (+)

page 6

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senorhousemouse

jesus ryoko

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Warning_Crazy
i am not black turtle as i did not win the guru

Haguile posted...
I did something much more disgusting, daring and dangerous than all of those stories combined. I once had sex with N'Sync AND jesse mccartney songs playing on the background at the same time.

Top that.

There's no topping that, that's not toppable, that's not even top-worthy, that's just going sideways into ew

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Sir Chris Police ~Ace Detective in Homicide~
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Yes yes yes yes, best topic in quite a long while. EXCITE!

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Oh, I am one yet many.

[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]

I lost my virginity in a stranger's front yard

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Sir Chris Police ~Ace Detective in Homicide~
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From: Jeff Zero | #1256
I lost my virginity in a stranger's front yard

That...that...what?

The talk about star wars in chat reminded me of when I had sex in the movie theater, watching star wars episode 2. Oh, and like, it did not occur to me to use lightsaber jokes until after it already happened. Too bad.

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Chrono1219

I'd totally be looking at Natalie whenever I got the chance BUT THAT'S JUST ME AND I COULD BE WRONG

Yeah, the girlfriend of the time and I were really wanting it and both virgins and were like "f*** it, we're doing it" and we were on a f***ing mission and s*** was heavy but we had literally nowhere we could get away with it because we were 14 so we just went to the side of a neighbor's front yard and did it all quiet-like

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Sir Chris Police ~Ace Detective in Homicide~
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the girl was in my way for most of the time, and it wasnt even her boobs, it was her back since we had to make it look as natural as possible. Who the hell watches a movie with their back turned?

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Chrono1219

Chrono1219 posted...
the girl was in my way for most of the time, and it wasnt even her boobs, it was her back since we had to make it look as natural as possible. Who the hell watches a movie with their back turned?

xd true

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Sir Chris Police ~Ace Detective in Homicide~
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Tagging for laters.

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-Merc

why on earth didn't I open this topic when I first saw it on the Topic List

I mean I'm glad I entered it now because oh my god it's so sexcellent

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This is probably the most open I've been sexually in a long, long time. I blame the alcohol. And Ryoko.

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Sir Chris Police ~Ace Detective in Homicide~
http://img.imgcake.com/Jeffzeropngus.png "Thanks Punny!"

I'm pretty sure half of the friends I've made in the past 2 years have seen me naked already

>.<

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Chrono1219

It's always my fault.

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Ryoko
http://img.imgcake.com/fffuujpguv.jpg

RyokIes posted...
It's always my fault.

Come down here and hang out with my friends and I then, they're always busy blaming me

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Sir Chris Police ~Ace Detective in Homicide~
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(I don't know where you live but I'm going to go ahead and say 'down' because unless you live in South America or Australia this is going to be true)

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Sir Chris Police ~Ace Detective in Homicide~
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by the way can we go back to making ryoko is a dirty whore jokes everywhere

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I'm game

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Sir Chris Police ~Ace Detective in Homicide~
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*Nukes topic*
*Everybody dies*

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The official Big Eater of the Duodecim board.
Nominate ExDeath for the next Character Battle.

I was too busy having sex on a conveyor belt to notice

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Sir Chris Police ~Ace Detective in Homicide~
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Um...I lost my virginity with the woman who is now my wife...and it was very passionate and stuff...

I wish there was a way to make mine more exciting. Maybe if I added robots...

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Will not remove this line of my signature until the Seahawks, Jazz or Rockies win a title (Started 5-16-09)
Yes, I know I'm never getting rid of this signature

holy ****ing **** what is this topic

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Mer

I wish I had more stories of this nature, b8 already knows all of mine :(

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Mer

Someone best archive this s***.

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Will not remove this line of my signature until the Seahawks, Jazz or Rockies win a title (Started 5-16-09)
Yes, I know I'm never getting rid of this signature

ahaha my lord so many good stories

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*~Swift~*

Emporer_Kazbar posted...
Um...I lost my virginity with the woman who is now my wife...and it was very passionate and stuff...

I wish there was a way to make mine more exciting. Maybe if I added robots...

I'm in the same boat as you. Probably the most out of the ordinary thing we've ever done is she gave me a hand job as we in the middle of a two hour car ride. Part of my stuff wound up rubbing up against the seat belt gradually pealing off layers of flesh. Couldn't have sex for like a week. At least not comfortably.

Wow, did it just get awkward in here for anyone else?


Alternatively I've been on the other side of things. My first apartment was on the third floor and I quickly discovered it can get pretty hot up there and the AC sucked and didn't quite make it to the bedroom. At like ten o'clock the first night I decided to open the window to see if that would cool me off. It did and I fell asleep. At three in the morning I was awoken by the people below me being rather passionate. I'm a pretty heavy sleeper so they must have been really going at it. This proceeded to happen at three in the morning five nights in a row. On the sixth day I went out and bought a fan.

From: Emporer_Kazbar | #272
Um...I lost my virginity with the woman who is now my wife...and it was very passionate and stuff...

I wish there was a way to make mine more exciting. Maybe if I added robots...

Uh, I'm not having sex until I'm married.


Least exciting of all, so you still beat me

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yE frE me Kweku Ananse Papa
me:http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/1508/masterplumgm3.jpg

first time I've laughed out loud at a topic in a while

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Black Turtle shoots the lights out

Tagging this topic for future meetings because I forgot to before.

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masterplum posted...
Uh, I'm not having sex until I'm married.

You might as well give in now, you'll never make it! Say you propose to a chick and get engaged, you just try and make it to the wedding without getting it on! You try it, man! Can't be done.

And if you're gonna fail in your goal a few months before the wedding anyway, might as well just get it on sooner than that dude. That's the first rule in the book.

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tag

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My Japanese alter-ego.
Hey all this is Bartz btw.

Hehe.

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It's hard work living as a sloth, but he finds time to relax.

I feel like this topic has violated me in ways I can't describe.

I hope thundersheep is OK! It's tough being seen naked but I know he can fight through this.

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Sir Chris Police ~Ace Detective in Homicide~
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I can't help but feel there's a lesson amidst all of this.

And not just the obvious: don't spank it with the window/blinds open...

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I once spanked it on a cliff overlooking Lake Tahoe. It was gorgeous.

Nice view too.

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There was a signature here. It's gone now.
Your face is bees.

I'm still underage so I can't post about my own wacky escapades

(escapades may not be wacky, or escapades at all)

So glad I found this topic.

When I was in college, I shared a dorm with my best friend. His girlfriend shared a dorm with my girlfriend so we often just switched roommates at night. When Friends season 10 came out on DVD, I went and got it at midnight and I wanted to come home to watch it with my two friends. My girlfriend was mad at me at the time and I already wanted to break up with her. I really didn't want her ruining the magic of Friends for me. So I told her not to come over that night.

She kept texting and calling after that and I didn't respond. She said she was coming over with my two friends so I literally hid in my closet so that she'd think I was gone and then she'd go back home and the three of us could watch it without a malcontent bringing us down. So I stayed in the closet waiting for her to leave. We usually left our dorm room door open if we weren't really doing anything so I guess I didn't hear her leave. Then my two friends started having sex on the bottom bunk. I realized that revealing I had been there the whole time could get awkward so I just decided to wait it out.

It lasted a lot longer than I would have liked. I fell asleep in there after a while. When I woke up, it was silent so I assumed they were asleep on the bottom bunk (which was actually just a futon set up under the top bunk) where they normally slept. So I quietly got out of the closet and started climbing on the dresser to get on the top bunk and go to sleep. I started to make my way onto the top level when I saw my roommate laying on the bed, holding a pillow over his face. I looked up a bit and saw my other friend who had just taken a break from giving him a blow job to notice my head, now up there with them.

My eyes were about as wide as they could possibly be. I stared back at her for a few seconds, in complete shock that I had gotten this close to the action, before my other roommate takes the pillow off his face and sees that I am less than two feet from him.

After a quick but awkward explanation where I was secretly praying that I didn't become estranged from my two best friends forever, we all watched the first disc of Friends season 10 together and we haven't spoken of this to each other since.

I doubt we ever will.

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Congratulations to Rafael Nadal on a Career Golden Slam. - The Mana Sword

That's ****ing amazing Anri.

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Mer

b8 gone wild! gotr would be proudly estranged

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oh god and I thought this topic had died

Anri just revived this big time

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Wierdest sex story I can think of is my girl giving me a handjob in the bathroom at my parents house while the rest of my family are having dinner conversation. Might I add this bathroom is adjacent to the dining room where everyone was eating.

Or there was that time we did it on the dining room floor of her mom's house while her mom was watching TV.

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My Japanese alter-ego.
Hey all this is Bartz btw.

man ive got great sex stories, but ill stick with the two that are topical.

story one, wheb me and my girlfriend first started dating i decided wed drive out to a drivein because two movies for 5 bucks is a great deal and the privacy meant good interrupt free make outs. predictably the second movie is boring and her hand finds eddv jr and she decides to down.

im enjoyingmyself,but im kind of annoyed because light keeps flashing in my eyes. I for some reason, assume this is just cars leaving the drive in. eventually someone knocks on our car and tells us to knock it off there are families here. as it turned out the car behind us had been flashing their lights and we had been giving a family of four quite a show.


my other story is tat observing sex was part of my daily life. my roommates girl would often stay the night sophomore year of college. the two of us shred a single room. the furniture was arranged so that my roomates bed was direclt behind my computer.
when night would arrive id put in my headphones to keep internetting while they slept

onenight,i happened to notice...movement in the rflection on my screen and i could see them having sex. so like every night for like a month just like cloxkwork, headphones in, that girls breasts out. i didnt sayanything because like, what would i say? so i never did, neither of them know that i had front row tickets to their nightly sexcapades. i am probably creepier for this than i initially thought.

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http://img.imgcake.com/grouchwardsdvpngyj.png
The grouch and the Zangoose.

^how would they not notice you in the room? They probably knew you were there and just didn't care

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_foolmo_
mobile computer

edwardsdv posted...
man ive got great sex stories, but ill stick with the two that are topical.

story one, wheb me and my girlfriend first started dating i decided wed drive out to a drivein because two movies for 5 bucks is a great deal and the privacy meant good interrupt free make outs. predictably the second movie is boring and her hand finds eddv jr and she decides to down.

im enjoyingmyself,but im kind of annoyed because light keeps flashing in my eyes. I for some reason, assume this is just cars leaving the drive in. eventually someone knocks on our car and tells us to knock it off there are families here. as it turned out the car behind us had been flashing their lights and we had been giving a family of four quite a show.


my other story is tat observing sex was part of my daily life. my roommates girl would often stay the night sophomore year of college. the two of us shred a single room. the furniture was arranged so that my roomates bed was direclt behind my computer.
when night would arrive id put in my headphones to keep internetting while they slept

onenight,i happened to notice...movement in the rflection on my screen and i could see them having sex. so like every night for like a month just like cloxkwork, headphones in, that girls breasts out. i didnt sayanything because like, what would i say? so i never did, neither of them know that i had front row tickets to their nightly sexcapades. i am probably creepier for this than i initially thought.

ctrl+f shark

wtf man

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(1)Jesus Christ (Bible) - 14 (16)GANON1025 (Board 8-) - 10 Never forget.

foolmor0n posted...
^how would they not notice you in the room? They probably knew you were there and just didn't care

as best i can figure they figured well he cant hear us and hes facing the opposite direction, so its like hes not here, or they just didnt care.

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http://img.imgcake.com/grouchwardsdvpngyj.png
The grouch and the Zangoose.

That story is not topical, broandchar.

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http://img.imgcake.com/grouchwardsdvpngyj.png
The grouch and the Zangoose.

edwardsdv posted...
That story is not topical, broandchar.

Post it anyway. I have no idea what it is but if it has something to do with a shark what better week to post it!?

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well, ok i guess,

the b8anime dudes know about this alreadymy exgirlfriend was quite ...zany is the nice way toput it. she was like a super fish activist and really freaking loved sharks and shark week and such.

this didnt bother me being somewhat desperate and her ebing pretty cute. she enjoyed being bit, which again struck me as normalish.

well one day after wed beendating a few weeks she sur prises me with a shark mask and this special shrk teeth mouth piece and basically demanded that iuse them. like almost every time. because sharks turned her the **** on and that was the only way she could go.

i kid you not.

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http://img.imgcake.com/grouchwardsdvpngyj.png
The grouch and the Zangoose.