Board 8 > Anagram ranks anything Mario-related

(+) Yeah! (+)

Talking Flowers

Toasters

Mario Bros.

Dr. Goomba Tower

Tetris Attack

Special Mariko Broken (Sket Dance Chapter 91/Episode 39)

Yoshi's Safari

MoogleKupo141 posted...

Toasters

I googled this, and I don't know what it is. Can you provide a link to be clearer?

Anagram posted...

I googled this, and I don't know what it is. Can you provide a link to be clearer?

they all toast toast

It's a Super Show reference (or one of the sequels, not sure which)

Its Hotel Mario

Or that. I knew it was something that gets used in YTP a lot.

Oh jeez, I even watched that video hours ago, okay.

Klepto

LUEshi

I would easily take Mario music over MGS music and potentially over Zelda or Final Fantasy music. Maybe not the platformers but definitely the RPGs.

Gusty Garden Galaxy (music)

Mario Paint

The Princess Peach costume in Bayonetta

Bowsette

- Kuribo's Shoe Tier
Rosalina
Kuribo's Shoe
1-1 Theme
Bowsette: I like how people took something as lame and stupid as Toadette turning into a copy of Peach named Peachette, when both Toadette and Peach are already girls and don't need the suffix, and turning it into a bizarre gender bender meme. This got big enough that Bowsette even has her own Wikipedia article. And that original comic! Almost perfectly done. The loneliness on Mario's and Bowser's faces, Peach's disgust while playing tennis, Luigi's surprise-but-not-disgust. I would say the only flaw is that Bowsette should really have red hair to match Bowser's, but whatever. Just the idea of Peach realizing that Mario's replaced her by turning their nemesis into her clone, and being completely appalled, is hilarious. This got so big that the original artist for Bowsette was given a trophy by Pixiv for inspiring so much fan art. Like, Bowsette was obviously a meme with a very limited shelf life, so I'm not sad that she's gone, but she was the best Mario meme in years when she came out.
Luigi
Bayonetta Nintendo Content: I hope you don't mind if I just do all of them at once, instead of just Peach. Again, it's insane that this is real. Nintendo is so protective of its properties, and yet it allowed Bayonetta to cosplay as Peach, Daisy, Link, Samus, and Star Fox. And yes, compared to Bayonetta's normal costumes, these are puritan-tier, but just the fact that they let the goth sex witch run around dressed in a sexy Halloween Peach costume in a real video game is bizarre. I wonder why they chose these particular characters, though. Like, there must be a reason they chose Link instead of Zelda. And looking at the Bayonetta Wiki to reacquaint myself with these, god, I forgot how much less hot Jeanne is than Bayonetta. I still need to play the third game, it's like more than a year old now. I am a big supporter of silly game crossover stuff like this, I put Link in SCII as the best Zelda thing in my ranking topic, and I am 100% supportive of more stuff like this.
Thwomp
Super Mario Maker 2
Hexagon Heat

- Hammer Suit Tier
Dr. Goomba Tower: It's a shitpost. I completely respect this. You think I'm going to complain about the lack of originality or whatever, but I 100% respect Dr. Mario World for making most of its characters into jokes. You think I'm going to complain about Dr. Baby Rosalina? Absolutely not. I have nothing but respect for Diddy Kong for finishing eight years of college and medical school as a teenage chimpanzee. Dr. Fire Rosalina? God, I love it. My only regret is that it has Dr. Peach instead of Dr. Nurse Peach. I would have given this enough bonus points to reach a higher tier if they'd done that.
Chris Pratt
SupperMarioBroth
Beep Block Skyway: Do people dislike this level? This is one of the few levels I specifically remember, because my sister came in while I was playing, she decided to play with me, and was way, way worse than me, and died like a million times. The literal only game she's better at than me is Ms. Pac-Man. Anyway, I don't know. The background and design of the blocks is lazy, but as far as a platforming challenge goes, this is completely fair and reasonable.
Hell Valley Sky Trees
Smash 64 Commercial

- Super Mushroom Tier
Staff Roll Theme (Mario 64): Perfectly serviceable end credits music. Fills you with, I don't know, the feeling that you're done. There's no more! Think about all those great memories, like when you jumped into the wrong portrait and fell down, or when you got the red coin a chain chomp was guarding, or I don't know, I haven't played Mario 64 since the DS one, and that was in like 2003 or something.
Hide and Seek mods
Starman: I remember when I was like 5, I read the manual for SMB1. I distinctly remember reading the section about power-ups, and it mentions the "invulnerability star." I didn't know what invulnerability meant, but I did know "invisibility," and I thought it was just a typo, so for like six months, I kept saying "invisibility star" because I thought the reason enemies couldn't damage you was that they couldn't see you. And the thing is, even when I was 5, I knew this was wrong, because if you're avoiding enemies, then you wouldn't also kill them on contact, but obviously the enemies all die when you touch them. I can't explain the logic I was operating under, it made no sense at all. Anyway, I was always annoyed to get these as rewards in Toad Houses in SMB3 as a kid, because obviously the power-ups that stay active are much more useful than a few seconds of invincibility at the start of a level, which is usually the safest part anyway. These were only useful for killing overworld bosses.
Donkey Kong (1981)
Gust Garden Galaxy (Theme): This is definitely *the* Mario Galaxy theme. It's not bad, and it's very adventure-y, but... there's nothing about it that feels space-y to me. Rosalina's Observatory has a space theme. This absolutely does not. Look, I'm a simple man, if I'm exploring the cosmos, I want to hear space music.
Tonkachi Mario
Talking Flowers: I don't really think they add anything, and their design is just gross in a way I can't really define, but is definitely related to Birdo's mouth. I don't hate them, though. As a way to add more dialogue into the Mario universe in a way that diegetic and non-obtrusive, they work really well. I like that some of them are kind of sassy and insult your skills.
Trials of Death
Anya Taylor-Joy
Kublai Khan
Tetris Attack: Wait, is this just Panel de Pon, but they replaced the fairy characters with Mario characters? Hilarious. I've never played this game, though, and I probably never will. It's strange how this was just a thing Nintendo did in the 90s, take a game from Japan and insert unrelated Mario stuff into it so it would sell better in the US. You couldn't really do that anymore, huh? I remember trying to explain that's what happened in SMB2 to my teacher in like 8th grade, telling him about "Dookie Dookie Panic," and him laughing and telling me that "dookie" has another meaning.
Toaster: Of all the appliances in my kitchen, this is probably the second-least used, barely beating out the coffee maker. I don't even drink coffee, but my parents gave it to me for free when they replaced theirs with a better one.
Klepto: What a lazy name. Odyssey came out in 2017? God, I'm so old. Anyway, this is the most nothing character. It's just a vulture who carries a star, and you have to hit him so he stops and you can collect it. It could have as easily been a paratroopa.

- Frog Suit Tier
Lou Albano
Practice Makes Perfect (Legacy X)
Blindfolded Mario Maker Guy
Mario Bros.: You thought I was going to screw up and rank SMB1, but you've got another thing coming. I never liked this game as a kid, but I was also really bad at it. It's strange how much this game added to the Mario lore. Luigi, turtles, traveling through pipes, coins, fireballs, POW blocks... I guess that's actually it. This is also the only game where traveling through pipes actually makes sense, since you're in a sewer. I enjoy how every few games, Mario makes the weakest, lamest attempt to remind you that he's a plumber, by fixing a pipe or something in the opening of the game. Strange how the turtles come back in all later games, but the crabs and flies are just left in the wastebin of history.
Torpedo Ted
WarioWare
Lakilester
NBA Street V3
Mario Paint: You know, Mario has a reputation for whoring himself out to any game idea ever, but after about 1998, he really stopped doing that. Even though he's in like twelve games per year, they're always at least okay. There're no more Mario Paints or Mario's Time Machines shitting things up. And don't tell me that Mario Paint was your childhood favorite game or whatever, I know you're lying. I admit that it has more functionality than you'd expect, and the mouse controller is neat, but even in the 90s, you could do all of this with just MS Paint.
Fat Yoshi
LUEshi: Our modern memes completely destroy these ancient memes. It's like, even if you took Isaac Newton, the breadth and depth of what he knows compared to an average modern scientist is much weaker simply because we've had so much more time to improve our science... I mean, memes. I also just noticed only now that it's Mario and not Luigi.
Donkey Kong Jr. (1982)

- Poison Mushroom Tier
Mario Teaches Typing
Pink Gold Peach
Pachinko Game (SMS)
Yakuman DS
Wendy O. Koopa: I know what you're doing, war. You're trying to get the last place on my list. You're going to have to do a hell of a lot better than Wendy O. Koopa. It's true that she's gross and I hate her, but she's nowhere near as gross as Birdo. Yes, both of them are like disgusting parodies of femininity. Wendy's got these gross puffy pink oval lips that are the same color as her high heels (imagine wearing shoes the exact same color as your lipstick), but that's nowhere near as disgusting as Birdo's mouth. The thing about Wendy is, if you're going to make a villain who parodies femininity, you need to go full-blast. You need her to be like a sexy sorceress or something who briefly tries to seduce the main character, then gets offended when he's not interested, and turns into a crazy witch who throws fireballs at you. Or you need to be like Grunty from Banjo-Kazooie, where she's hideous and has no motive except to be pretty again. Wendy has none of that, she's just there and gross, but not as gross as Birdo, so she's way more forgettable. Like, it was obviously wise to not make Wendy a sexy witch when she's just one of Bowser's random minions who gets instantly defeated in a level you don't even remember, and obviously if you're not going to give her any special attention, then she can only really have one personality trait, and her trait is that she's a girl. Really, that just brings us back to the Koopalings in general, who are all complete nothings. Like, don't even bother nominating any of the other Koopalings, because they're all just getting immediately shunted into the low, but not lowest, tiers.
Hotel Mario Cutscenes
Mario Galaxy 2 Glitch

- Blue Shell Tier
Birdo

- Veto
Mario Pinball Land: Never played it! The only video game pinball game I've played is Pokemon Pinball. I played the shit out of that game as a kid.

The Nintendo Comics System issue where Big Bertha wanted to fuck Mario

The costumes in the Wii U version of Tekken Tag Tournament 2

This is the final boss theme of one of the most difficult Mario hacks ever made.

Casio Mario World - Casio Hellburst
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AM2GopRUopo

Mario and Luigis unknown elderly or deceased relative featured on the 1989 metal serving tray in a framed photo

you missed Yoshi's Safari.

Paratroopa

Luigi meeting Luigi in Super Mario Galaxy

Stanley the Bugman

I think you missed my nomination, unless you don't feel like looking it up (which is fair).

Racist Mario

Thunder Cloud item in Mario Kart Wii

Raka_Putra posted...

I think you missed my nomination, unless you don't feel like looking it up (which is fair).

Mr_Crispy posted...

you missed Yoshi's Safari.

Whoops.

Mario vs. Sonic at the Olympic Games

Mario Kart Tour

Mario Kart (as a series, no specific game)

Hammer Bros

https://youtu.be/FuX5_OWObA0?si=99qwXjAFbUZc6cX0

Puzzle Plank Galaxy Theme (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sJijxXt_d4)

Wall Kicks Will Work

Super Hornio Brothers

Shellcreeper

the backwards long jump (of super mario 64 speedrunning fame)

"I'm a chuckster!"

Super Mario Strikers (2005)

Mushroomy Kingdom (Brawl stage)

I'll level with you guys, you have not been nominating the things I expected.

- Cape Feather Tier
Mario Kart (Series): This is definitely the best Mario spinoff series, and also technically the most popular Nintendo series without a fighter in Smash. Who would you even include? Waluigi in a kart? Anyway, it's incredible that the most popular game in the racing genre is just Mario in a car. No one has been able to make a racing game even half as popular as Mario Kart, and that's for reasons that extend beyond the Mario branding. The games are just good. They're always fun, they're always semi-balanced, they're always easy for less-skilled players to understand. Mario Kart is just a really good series, and that's really all there is to say. Definitely far superior to Mario Party as a silly dumb party game.

- Kuribo's Shoe Tier
Rosalina
Kuribo's Shoe
1-1 Theme
Bowsette
Luigi
Bayonetta Nintendo Content
Thwomp
Super Mario Maker 2
Hexagon Heat

- Hammer Suit Tier
Paratroopas: Up, down, up, down. Sometimes they jump, sometimes they hover. Everyone loves paratroopas. Such an odd decision to make them koopas, too. There's nothing that links turtles to flying, they're completely disconnected ideas. This could have easily just been some kind of evil bird serving Bowser, he already has turtles, fish, mushrooms, beetles, plants, and whatever Lakitus are, so why not birds as well? But someone said "let's put wings on an anthropomorphic turtle," and then they just did, the absolute madmen.
Hammer Bros.: I hated these things as a kid, I could not get the timing down to get past them at all. And again, such an odd concept. No one associates hammers with throwing. If they were throwing axes, that'd be one thing. Everything in Mario is so cartoony in a way that I don't think any other game series can quite match. That's why the realistic humans in Mario Odyssey were so offputting. They work really well as the strongest generic enemy in the early games, but that's about all they are. It's sort of interesting to compare the Mario enemies to Zelda enemies. You would expect that the slightly more serious and realistic Zelda series would have more complex enemies, but it really doesn't. They both mostly just have goofy monsters for the hero to fight, and if we're being honest? The Mario ones at least have an explanation for why they're fighting you, in that they work for Bowser.
Dr. Goomba Tower
Chris Pratt
SupperMarioBroth
Beep Block Skyway
Hell Valley Sky Trees
Smash 64 Commercial

- Super Mushroom Tier
Staff Roll Theme (Mario 64)
Sheelcreeper: I hope you weren't expecting much here. It's just the prototype Koopa Troopa. They're grosser than regular Koopas, though, and more real-world turtle-like. I was going to speculate that they were inspired by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and that's what made turtles big at the time, but to my surprise, TMNT released the year after Mario Bros, so I guess it was just a weird coincidence that two different companies on opposite sides of the world made fiction about turtles in the sewers of New York.
Hide and Seek mods
Puzzle Plank Galaxy (Theme): This would be a great theme for a redneck stage. Let me just check what this stage looks like-oh.
Starman
Donkey Kong (1981)
Rainbow Road (Bearded Fat Guy Song): This is fifteen years old? Goddamn. Goddamn. 4.8 million views on an account with 7.76K subscribers, huh. Anyway, this is good and everything, but I have a much higher standard for intentionally bad internet music. I was going to link the Clock Song there from DHMIS, but I couldn't figure out how, so oh well.
Gust Garden Galaxy (Theme)
Tonkachi Mario
Talking Flowers
Trials of Death
Anya Taylor-Joy
I'm a Chuckster: So, are chucksters a job on Delfino Island, or just a hobby? It's too bad that Delfino Island never returned outside of Mario Kart stages. It could have easily been a random stage you visit in Odyssey or something. I guess no one really cares about SMS. Even I don't. It just feels like the most obligatory Mario game. Like, we have a new console, guess we need to have a new Mario game on it. What happens? I dunno, Mario goes on vacation and talks to a water gun. The most important thing about that game is actually the introduction of Bowser Jr, the worst major Mario character.
Kublai Khan
Tetris Attack
Toaster
Backwards Long Jump: Look man, I don't care about speedrunning tactics at all unless they're super weird and interesting. This is just like wavedashing in Melee. I never cared enough to learn how it works, and I never will, and I'm not particularly bothered by the fact this means I'll never reach the highest levels of play.

- Frog Suit Tier
Lou Albano
Practice Makes Perfect (Legacy X)
Blindfolded Mario Maker Guy
Mario Bros.
Stanley the Bugman: Is this guy canon? Does he still exist in the Mario universe? Because he's the only Mario human who's not associated with Mario in some way, right? The Wiki says he shows up in the WarioWare games, I guess that counts. Last appearance that wasn't a rerelease or a sticker in Smash is in 2009, ouch. Even Daisy does better than that. Man, even I haven't played Donkey Kong 3. I think the most memorable thing about this character is that he's probably the inspiration for Felix Fix-It in Wreck-It Ralph? I never saw the second movie, I heard it was terrible.
Torpedo Ted
Mario vs Sonic at the Olympic Games: It's so bizarre that this was the game, this of all things, that finally gave us the Mario vs Sonic rivalry crossover kids had wanted for sixteen years. No one on Earth wanted a sports game. Everyone wanted some kind of platformer or something. And like I said, I'm not a minigame lover. The only thing about this I remember liking at all was that they acknowledged Sonic's inability to swim by giving him an inner tube whenever he's in the water, but like, that is not enough to save this for me. Let's see, who are the playable characters... All the Mario standards, all the Sonic standards... Blaze and Vector? I'm gonna level with you, I have not played a Sonic game since S&K, I don't know anything about modern Sonic lore or who these characters are. God, it also has Mii support. I never liked Miis.
WarioWare
Grandpa Mario (Serving Tray): You should've nominated the serving tray itself, it's so ugly and everything is off-model. But just focusing on this one picture of this one guy, Grandpa Mario here looks like he was some kind of sea captain. This is my fanfiction of this obscure noncharacter from the 1980s.
Lakilester
NBA Street V3
Mario Paint
Yoshi's Safari: I have a serious question. What genres of video game has Mario not been involved with? Because this is a lightgun FPS of all things, which is about as antithetical to Mario as I can think of. I make fun of Miyamoto a lot for shutting down interesting ideas, but the flipside of that is that Mario has way fewer completely garbage games than Sonic, who will whore himself out to ANYTHING. Wait a second, Iggy Koopa is the one who designs robots to fight Mario? Iggy Koopa? He's a mechanic? ... Okay.
Racist Mario: For a second, I thought this was Arin Hanson's work. Remember when he wasn't just a LPer? The idea of Mario being angry at non-Nintendo characters being in his game and getting violent is potentially funny, but they are way too talky in this. There should be like 1/3rd of the dialogue, and some of the deaths just aren't funny (especially Donkey Kong's). This video is relying way too hard on being disgusting and violent for humor, and most of the jokes just don't land. Kratos showing up isn't funny at all.
Fat Yoshi
Thunder Cloud (Mario Kart): I completely forgot this thing existed at all. The speed boost is nice, but what does that have to do with lightning? Why does it make you immune to rough terrain? Completely bizarre concept for an item, I'm sure they just wanted to have an item with both benefits and drawbacks. This is rarely something I ever wanted to see when playing.
LUEshi
Casio Hellburst: Yeah, look, I know I said I like when fans make cool things out of properties they like, but like... I sort of assumed that it would at least be in the spirit of the thing they liked. This is JRPG boss music, not bing bang wahoo Mario music. I went ahead and watched some of this game in action, and I can see that it's obviously doing a thing with a different tone than regular Mario stuff, but I don't know. It reminds me of the Phoenix Wright fan cases where the characters curse. It's just completely at odds with what the game actually is.
Donkey Kong Jr. (1982)
Special Mariko Broken (Sket Dance Chapter 91/Episode 39): Boy oh boy, are you on the wrong track if you're nominating F-list anime for me to rate. I've never even heard of Sket Dance. I don't have a Crunchyroll account, so the only way I was able to watch this was as an undubbed non-youtube upload in Japanese on a guy's Facebook account. I don't speak Japanese, so I am forced to make up my own plot based on what I see. Okay, the anime stars Dudebro, Blonde, and Text-to-Voice Man. They're on some kind of gameshow with some extras, which they lose, and then a gross pedophile persuades them to play a knockoff Mario cartridge by Wontendo. Dudebro and Blonde yell a lot for reasons I don't understand, so I'll assume they have mental disabilities. Wow, these graphics are pretty good for an NES. The game briefly turns into a Dragon Quest parody, then the TV grows a hideous brown tentacle that flies into the controller, then there's a VN, then they play the game of Life, which is possibly the most boring boardgame on Earth. The end.

- Poison Mushroom Tier
Mario Kart Tour: I didn't even know this exists. Weird Nintendo phone games I've never heard of, this happened a lot in the other topics, too. Oh gross, it has lootboxes and gacha mechanics? I hope you like low tier.
Tekken Tag Tournament Mario Costumes: ... You know, I know I said that I love crossover stuff, but I guess the unstated assumption I was making was that the crossover stuff would actually look good. Like, the Soul Calibur Star Wars stuff I ranked super low in that topic. Maybe instead of giving each Mario character's outfit to 5+ characters, they should have just focused on making one character look good for each. I don't think a single Tekken character looks good dressed as these Mario characters. Lei as Toad and Lili as Peach are probably the best ones, but... I'm going to go ahead and say this is not very good, actually. Paul wearing the Mario hat on top of his super tall hair is funny, though. I would not pay for these to be in my game. I would actually pay for them to be removed.
Mario Teaches Typing
Luigi Meeting Himself: How lazy can you be? At least change it to being another character than Luigi, or at least make it Nega-Luigi or something. I appreciate that they at least wrote alternate dialogue, which is almost more effort than I expected. "Tell Rosalina I found this one!" Luigi, I see what you're doing there, back off, she's mine.
Super Hornio Brothers: There were two porn parodies of the live-action film? And Nintendo bought the rights to the films to block their distribution? The first one has been scrubbed and no known copies exist, while the second was rediscovered in 2009? "A computer virus informs the brothers that King Pooper (Buck Adams), based on Bowser (also known as King Koopa), has kidnapped Princess Perlina (Chelsea Lynx), based on Princess Peach. King Pooper intends on forcefully having Perlina help him travel to Earth with a tub full of semen energized by a special generator." The Peach parody saves the Luigi parody, but leaves the Mario one to die to the Bowser one? King Pooper needs to procreate to create more offspring, so he... just hires a prostitute? Is that even evil of him? I watched part of this on youtube. I'm going to be honest, I've never watched a porn parody of any kind before, and I was expecting something simple, like "Hornio and Screwigi learn they must have sex with Princess Puss before King Boobser can," and then just twenty minutes of fucking. The actual plot of this movie is way more elaborate than I expected, and actually makes more sense than the real 90s movie. Doesn't make it good, though.
Pink Gold Peach
Pachinko Game (SMS)
Yakuman DS
Big Bertha x Mario (Mario Comics): It took me a minute to track this down. I just realized, I haven't seen anyone use the ol' "ugly villainous woman attracted to the hero" trope in a while, is that a dead trope now? I mean, I'm willing to ignore the fact that she's a fish (not even a fish-woman, just a fish) who's into human men, that's fine. What I'm not willing to ignore, and I guess what I never knew until just now, is that the 90s Mario movie has a character named after her who is very much not a fish.
Wendy O. Koopa
Hotel Mario Cutscenes
Mario Galaxy 2 Glitch

- Blue Shell Tier
Birdo

- Veto
Wall Kicks Will Work: I have no idea what you meant by this. I googled it and got completely unremarkable Mario 64 guide videos. Give me a specific video to watch, I guess is what I mean.