Board 8 > [Help] [Serious] How can I make a bunch of vagrants leave private property?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Long story short my dad's the landlord of some property with a few stores. There are a bunch of hobos who hang out in the parking lot and get drunk as shit, litter, and harass people. We've gone to the police a number of times, and while they do temporarily drive the vagabonds away, it's never for more than a day. Now even the owner of a neighboring property is getting all on my dad's case for "allowing" these hobos to trash everything.

At this point it's time to take matters into our own hands. I thought of maybe getting a terrible smell like some stink bombs or something to get them to leave, but these guys all smell like shit and are passed out drunk half the time anyway. Any (legal) ideas would be super appreciated from my family to yours.

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butter the parking lot
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Hire a nighttime security guard for the parking lot.
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Is this like a strip mall?

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Lobby your local government to zone adequate low-income housing.
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Load them in back of a van and dump them off in the next state

Beat them up
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Get a skunk as a pet and set it loose
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redrocket posted...

Is this like a strip mall?

yeah a little shopping center

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Is this just an after hours thing or does this happen during business hours too?

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all day

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Offer them a ride and then murder/bury them in the desert.
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Damn brohan wtf I didnt know you got it like that

Can I get a deal on renting out a store space
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Has your dad talked to the local government yet? That would be a good next step.

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MrGreenonion posted...

Lobby your local government to zone adequate low-income housing.

they might even listen to you because you're a local business owner
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i was really looking for a more Home Alone-esque booby trap plot but i suppose lobbying the local government to make improvements for the impoverished members of my local community could be a fun scheme too

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Heroic Bigpun posted...

Beat them up

This, SephG will do it for free
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I don't understand how the cop thing doesn't work.

Don't they arrest them eventually?

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Gentrify the strip mall with $17 cocktails and Ethiopian food
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MysticBrohan posted...

Now even the owner of a neighboring property is getting all on my dad's case for "allowing" these hobos to trash everything.

How awesome would it be if the vagrants migrated there instead?

It might be worth looking into examples of "hostile architecture." This concept is generally used within overall city planning, but some of the principles could be applied to your situation as well.

Alternatively, you could go for the "Baby Shark" approach: https://www.google.com/amp/s/wreg.com/2019/07/19/city-blares-baby-shark-on-repeat-to-drive-homeless-from-pavilion-at-night/amp/
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tazzyboyishere posted...

Heroic Bigpun posted...

Beat them up

This, SephG will do it for free

Haha what
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There's no way seph would hurt his own hands for that, that's what he pays the police for
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i mean the real answer if this is a new phenomenon in the neighbourhood is to just... talk to them? ask what happened to their last living situation? could be that the police tore down a homeless encampment, could be that a shelter lost funding, whatever, help them get in touch with a local homeless advocacy group. there are a million forces that cause homelessness, but the only solution is getting people in homes.

TheCodeisBosco posted...

It might be worth looking into examples of "hostile architecture." This concept is generally used within overall city planning, but some of the principles could be applied to your situation as well.

it might be worth looking into this if your dad is a piece of shit, yeah.
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pjbasis posted...

I don't understand how the cop thing doesn't work.

Don't they arrest them eventually?

If it's a big city with a large homeless population, it becomes infeasible for the police to micromanage them all.
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pjbasis posted...

I don't understand how the cop thing doesn't work.

Don't they arrest them eventually?

Tax cuts have greatly lowered public funding, especially at the local level, so it makes it hard to systematically jail entire populations of people. There's also the pesky fact that a homeless person in jail gets let out eventually. So the solution needs to be either life in jail or death penalty for homelessness. But again that comes back to the lack of funding issue, especially since the death penalty is such an expensive legal process. Local and state court officials could streamline the process and make it more resource effective, but either way more taxes are necessary. This is why voting at all levels is important.
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Theyre hobos. Theyre almost certainly hungry. So two words:

FLOOR.

PIE.




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You could stop being a landlord

Paratroopa1 posted...

You could stop being a landlord

This is a good option of last resort.

1) Sell the property. Now its someone elses problem.

2) No buyers? Kick out all the tenants and let it sit vacant. This is a good one to hold over local governments head if they wont work with you in some way.

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iiicon posted...

TheCodeisBosco posted...

It might be worth looking into examples of "hostile architecture." This concept is generally used within overall city planning, but some of the principles could be applied to your situation as well.

it might be worth looking into this if your dad is a piece of shit, yeah.

lmao
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Icon how many homeless people do you regularly house?
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lol, guess ulti's not allowed to criticize hearthstone until he designs a card game himself

In all seriousness, it's a hard problem to solve. There's always the classical music approach, of playing said music on blast outside the stores.

Ultimately the route of talking to the local government is probably a better longterm solution if you care about improving your city and not just making someone else have this issue instead.
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All solutions require money. Anything home alone related will undoubtedly end up being illegal

These people are just hanging out in the most convenient place for them. If the place becomes less convenient, they will find someplace else.

As others have suggested, you can hire a guard/ maintenance person to keep things in order and call police every single time they show up. That makes the place less convenient. You just have to be persistent.

You can also leave bright flood lights on, but I don't know how big the parking lot is and how much energy that would require. The police did that in front of a high crime complex near an old apartment of mine, and I guess it worked

You don't need to get too heavy into hostile architecture, but you can just remove things like benches or rain cover

But yeah. It's just going to require money or time. Seriously, just pay someone to call the cops every single time they show up
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I have no advice but if you find a solution that isn't expensive or cruel make sure to let the rest of the world know.

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Hire them as maintenance/janitorial staff.
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put up a scarecrow
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install a big screen that constantly shows Ulti posts
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MoogleKupo141 posted...

install a big screen that constantly shows Ulti posts

I can only assume that this qualifies as cruel and unusual
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UltimaterializerX posted...

Best part about virtue signaling clowns is that NONE of them invite refugees or the homeless into their own homes. They just want to lecture you all day about how they should be allowed in yours, a la your dad is a POS if he uses hostile architecture.

UltimaterializerX posted...

You cant criticize unless you do is a dumb argument, or else a eulogy would be impossible to write.

sweatymanchoosingbetweentwobuttons.jpg
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VintageGin posted...

UltimaterializerX posted...

Best part about virtue signaling clowns is that NONE of them invite refugees or the homeless into their own homes. They just want to lecture you all day about how they should be allowed in yours, a la your dad is a POS if he uses hostile architecture.

UltimaterializerX posted...

You cant criticize unless you do is a dumb argument, or else a eulogy would be impossible to write.

sweatymanchoosingbetweentwobuttons.jpg

I mean one is a criticism and the other is "you should do x"

The closer equivalent would be like telling everyone to quit Hearthstone but he keeps playing (which afaik is actually true so there you go)
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ChaosTonyV4 posted...

Hire them as maintenance/janitorial staff.

There'll literally the ones making the mess

Worst janitors ever
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iiicon posted...

i mean the real answer if this is a new phenomenon in the neighbourhood is to just... talk to them?

MysticBrohan posted...

[They] get drunk as shit, litter, and harass people.

Yeah, I'm sure that's gonna go over real well.
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Challenge them to a card duel and the loser has to leave town.
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MZero11 posted...

I mean one is a criticism and the other is "you should do x"

The closer equivalent would be like telling everyone to quit Hearthstone but he keeps playing (which afaik is actually true so there you go)

I feel like you're splitting hairs here-- the line about "why don't you house a migrant" has been used primarily as a response to criticizing their treatment/detention.

Also saying someone should do something differently is still criticism.
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Homeless people really aren't different from anyone else if you boil it down - if people find a comfortable situation, they will settle and stay there until either it becomes less comfortable or a better opportunity comes along. "A better opportunity" is probably rarer for homeless people, but maybe you/your dad can try for one by reaching out to a homeless advocacy group like icon said. Or if that's not feasible (or if the attempt doesn't work out cuz it probably won't) you can just make things less comfortable for them by hiring security or playing a heavier hand.

I'd guess approaching the local government is the slowest solution. I've never encountered a problem like this, but it doesn't seem like one that a landlord would contentedly wait months to solve.

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In Calgary, we have something called "DOAP" team. They are alternative to the police, and they'll take them to resources and try to help them and whatnot. Also, not a perfect answer, but a godsend for this city!

ChaosTonyV4 posted...

Hire them as maintenance/janitorial staff.

Also... don't reward bad behaviour imo. Harass people one day, get a job the next? Haha!!!