Lurker > treewojima

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Attention: people who honk as soon as the light turns green
treewojima5001/19 12:30pm
I did it. I finally did it. I slept with my ex-coworker.
treewojima1701/12 6:50pm
Trump: Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?
treewojima5401/12 7:21am
"Wow, what kind of mileage does it get?" "1 highway, 0 city"
treewojima401/10 1:03pm
Remember the Dilbert cartoon show? It's fucking amazing.
treewojima601/10 5:38am
My email client stopped working at my job. IT's response?
treewojima401/09 7:34am
There's a pristine '96 7.3 Ford F-350 that came into inventory at my dealership.
treewojima901/05 5:50pm
there's literally a customer wearing a MAGA hat here right now
treewojima1101/04 2:03pm
I miss David Bowie
treewojima612/31 6:31pm
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
treewojima612/30 10:49pm
I fucking hate it when girls ghost you
treewojima6512/30 10:20pm
The Chameleons are one of the best 80's band that nobody has ever heard of
treewojima212/30 12:05pm
My license is suspended b/c my old roommates didn't give me my mail
treewojima512/29 6:51pm
I present to you the greatest Chipotle bowl ever created.
treewojima712/28 2:14pm
My coworker sends the most unprofessional emails
treewojima2812/27 3:15pm
Canada Dry shrunk their seltzer water packs from 12 to 8, but at the same price
treewojima1312/26 3:25pm
I've been out of my mind horny lately
treewojima312/26 10:10am
I can't decide if my favorite Christmas movie is Die Hard or Bad Santa.
treewojima2212/24 8:46pm
My grandfather was a spy for the CIA. AMA
treewojima2712/24 4:40pm
I have a date tonight!!!
treewojima912/24 2:56am
I'm pretty sure Maggot Brain is the greatest guitar solo ever created
treewojima512/22 1:30pm
I'm gonna go to the Burger King drive thru and order a Thug Whopper
treewojima612/22 6:06am
Just saw The Last Jedi. (spoilers)
treewojima1312/18 9:08am
I work at a car dealership, and one of our techs came in piss drunk this morning
treewojima1012/15 11:25am
Life Alert costs $100 to install and is $50-70 a month.
treewojima812/15 8:57am
I told her I was sleepy, so she brought me a Red Bull while I was at work
treewojima812/14 1:52pm
A naked man shut down my local highway yesterday.
treewojima412/13 9:42am
French mayor campaigns for high speed train by making fun of a murdered woman
treewojima112/12 9:32am
it sucks that people with banned accounts can't become mods
treewojima1112/11 5:05pm
I'm secretly trying to join my work's IT department
treewojima1612/11 10:04am
Josh Homme of QOTSA kicked a photographer in the face
treewojima712/11 9:32am
I've made the formal decision to quit drinking. Entirely.
treewojima1112/08 10:37am
I've been hanging out with a girl all day. She's fucking adorable.
treewojima5912/07 5:52am
I just nerded out with a dude who programs satellites
treewojima712/06 11:16am
Karma bragging topic. Get down on this shit.
treewojima1112/05 8:24pm
I'm an alcoholic. Turns out my boss is too, except he's in recovery.
treewojima512/05 2:18pm
Flynn will testify against Trump, says he was ordered to contact Russia
treewojima19212/04 3:33pm
make love to me, CE
treewojima412/01 9:24pm
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
treewojima312/01 9:02am
Have you gotten on board the seltzer water train yet?
treewojima112/01 8:05am
I think I just found the most boring US import car ever.
treewojima1011/29 8:18pm
Snapchat has the worst fucking interface I've ever used
treewojima611/29 10:49am
I pulled a girl's Snapchat at work
treewojima1011/28 7:15pm
This text was sent to my coworker by another coworker. The thirst is real.
treewojima2611/28 5:38pm
My work's IT department is filled with morons
treewojima711/28 9:30am
One of my coworkers sends out emails in all caps
treewojima1311/27 4:43pm
Arrogant Bastard Ale is the shit.
treewojima611/26 7:53pm
I got hit up by a cougar today.
treewojima1511/26 1:06am
I got to use a commercial riding mower today
treewojima111/25 5:12pm
I think I'm a handsome fucking dude with a dad bod. Rate/10
treewojima4811/24 11:30am
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