Lurker > captpackrat

There's also a rather nifty game on Android, iOS, Windows, OS X, Linux, Wii U and Switch, called Human Resource Machine. It's a puzzle game that teaches assembly language programming concepts like loops, conditional jumps, memory addresses and whatnot.

When I was the IT Manager for a construction company, one of our project managers kept having problems with viruses on his laptop. When I checked it, I found cookies for all kinds of horse porn sites. He'd tried to clear his history, but forgot the delete the cookies.

I cleaned up his laptop, locked down his user permissions, then when I gave it back to him I said, "Here you go, cowboy!"

Zikten posted...

in the part of the hall where I lie, there are like 3 other people who should be noticing this every day.

Why don't you ask them if they know anything about it?

Marriage.

Sex whenever.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Can I go for two 6s? Or like one and a half 7s?

Could be heat rash.

I had a neighbor die next door. She was old and lived alone. Nobody found her body for quite a few days.

You can call the police (not 911, but look up their non-emergency number) and tell them your concerns. They'll send someone out to do a welfare check.

I have horses and I still say "horse!" everytime I drive past one.

Leave the skin on, it'll make it easier to grill. And the skin has most of the Omega 3, so make sure you eat it too.

I'm naked, so I don't have any pockets.

The best part of this whole trade war is that MAGA hats, which are made in China, are now more expensive because of the tariffs.

"How are you gentlemen !! All your base are belong to us."

The story goes that shortly before closing time, this obviously amorous couple asked one of the attendants how long the ride was, and was told 30 minutes. The ride was actually about 5 minutes, so they came around the last corner back into the queue in flagrante delicto, with the whole cast standing around applauding.

ClarkDuke posted...

Once I banged a girl on the Haunted Mansion ride, ok?

Cast members used to refer to Adventure Thru Inner Space as "Adventure Thru Intercourse" because of the amount of humping that went on. Little did guests realize that there were infrared cameras everywhere.

I had a table at the San Diego Comic Con for a bunch of years. Got way too expensive to keep doing it (it's now $600 for a small press table).

Mine is the Chandrasekhar Limit

You can't get a license without taking a driving test, you can't take the driving test without driving, and you can't drive without insurance, ergo, you can't get a license without insurance.

Hot, cold or somewhere in between?

I usually play on easy and/or use cheat codes like God mode (though I prefer Budda mode, if the game has it). I'm generally more interested in the story than the "game".

I can push the button with my dick, so I guess it's "hands free"

Just go to Woot. Like half the t-shirts they sell have furry or furry-ish images.

I've ordered these shirts for friends:

https://shirt.woot.com/offers/actual-cats-hoooo
https://shirt.woot.com/offers/the-wild-bunch

Moonjay posted...

EvilMegas posted...

I have super semen.
I have 2 children by women that were declared medically unable to have them.

I guess that's another super power I have. My mom was declared unable to have children, but here I am..

You might want to rephrase that...

Goats follow me around, is that a superpower?

Don't invest in individual stocks, go with an ETF that covers a large number of stocks. (Exchange Traded Funds are similar to mutual funds, but they are traded like stocks).

The iShares Russell 3000 ETF (IWV) covers pretty much the entire stock market. Total return in the past year was 14.6%. Vanguard has a similar ETF (VTFR), with a similar return rate.

The neat thing about ETFs is they're available for all kinds of stuff like gold (GLD), oil (USO), sugar (SGG), even livestock (COW). There are also "inverse" ETFs that let you bet against the market, though these are very risky and only for short-term investment.

insert standard caveat emptor disclaimer

LOLIAmAnAlt posted...

Go find the $100,000 bill and spend it at a Wallmart.
Film it.

And then go to jail!

The $100,000 bills were only ever used for internal government transactions between the Treasury and the Federal Reserve Banks and were never legally available to the public.

Newly discovered Xenomorph wasp has Alien-like lifecycle
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/06/180627160414.htm

A University of Adelaide PhD student has discovered a new species of wasp, named Xenomorph because of its gruesome parasitic lifecycle that echoes the predatory behaviour of the Alien movie franchise monster.

The new species, Dolichogenidea xenomorph, injects its eggs into live caterpillars and the baby wasp larvae slowly eat the caterpillar from the inside out, bursting out once they have eaten their fill. The wasp larvae then change into adult wasps and continue the hunt for more caterpillars in which to lay their eggs.

The wasp is one of three newly documented wasps that are parasitoids -- parasites which must kill their host to complete their lifecycle.

"Dolichogenidea xenomorph acts as a parasite in caterpillars in a similar way that the fictional Alien creature does in its human host," says lead researcher Erinn Jeffries, PhD student in the University's School of Biological Sciences.

"The wasp is also black and shiny like the alien, and has a couple of weird traits for the genus -- so xenomorph, meaning 'strange form', fits really well."

Parasitoid wasps are said to have inspired the creation of the Xenomorph alien in the movie franchise. In their natural environment, these wasps play important roles in regulating the populations of their insect hosts, and have been used in agricultural crops to control caterpillar pests.

"At less than 5mm in length, Dolichogenidea xenomorph might seem to lack the punch of its fearsome namesake. But size is relative; to a host caterpillar, it's an awesome predator," Ms Jeffries says.

Dolichogenidea xenomorph has been collected from Queanbeyan, New South Wales and in southern Western Australia, but likely has a wider distribution across Australia. It has an extremely long ovipositor, a needle-like structure the female wasps use to inject their eggs into their host. The host of this species is a moth caterpillar that feeds on Eucalyptus leaves.

Ms Jeffries' research is supervised by Professor Andrew Austin, of the University's Australian Centre for Evolutionary Biology and Biodiversity, in collaboration with Professor Steven Cooper from the Centre and from the South Australian Museum.

These three new species are among thousands more wasps in Australia still awaiting description and names.

"We collected over 500 wasps from a particular subfamily, from all over Australia, and determined that there were more than 200 different species just in that relatively small number of specimens," says Professor Austin.

"There are currently only 100 species described in this subfamily for Australia, so we've at least doubled the number of known species. It's important to document our biodiversity so that we can make informed conservation decisions about our environment. Some of these wasps may potentially be useful biological control agents for pests, but we just don't know about them yet."

Jeopardy! was originally hosted by Art Fleming until 1979, and Wheel of Fortune was hosted by Chuck Woolery until 1981, except for one week in August 1980 where Alex Trebek hosted. Rolf Benirschke hosted the daytime Wheel for about 5 months in 1989, followed by Bob Goen until it was cancelled in 1991. Wheel hostesses have included Susan Stafford, Summer Bartholomew, Cynthia Washington, Vicki McCarty, Tricia Gist, Rosie O'Donnell and believe it or not, Arte Johnson (verrrry interesting...)

Fun fact: Pat Sajak and Alex Trebek traded places hosting each other's shows as an April Fool's joke in 1997.

The itchiness goes away if you keep yourself shaved.

Methylene Blue will do that to you.

Al Jazeera.

No, seriously, they do a better job of covering the US than most US news outlets.

My preferred punishment is to remove the valve cores from their tires. Easy for them to fix, if they have a valve tool in their car. But how many people carry such a useful thing with them? (I mean, besides me, of course)

Ogurisama posted...

RedPixel posted...

Reminds me of the parents who named their son Dovahkiin because he was born on 11/11/11 (Skyrim release date)

That kid is going on 7 years this year, holy shit

"You're going to have a little brother! We're going to call him Special Edition!"

Moon Unit

I had to be transferred from one hospital to another for surgery, and since I was on an IV, I had to take an ambulance.

$1500 to go about 5 or 6 miles!

They didn't give me any drugs, they didn't have to do anything except load me in, drive me over, and drop me off.

$1500!

You currently cannot be drafted if you are 26 or older.

You don't have to fight if you're drafted; you can claim conscientious objector status and serve in a noncombat capacity, or take a job doing something contributing to the national interest. There are also hardship exemptions (if your family depends on you for support, for instance), surviving son or brother exemptions (your parent or sibling died as a result of military service, was captured or MIA), and exemptions for ministers and ministerial students. Some non-citizens and dual nationals are also exempt, depending on the country. Students can have their induction postponed, and there are medical deferrals as well (obesity is probably #1 now).

You also cannot be drafted if you're already in the military, so you could preemptively join the Public Health Service Commissioned Corps or the NOAA Commissioned Officer Corps (good luck getting in, however, the NOAA Corps has only 300 commissioned officers, no enlisted or warrant officer personnel, the PHSCC has about 6700 officers). Or you could join the Coast Guard; you might still end up in a combat role, but it would be with the Navy so you'd spend your time on a ship far away from the action.

I'm 5-A, so it's all academic to me.

Doctor Foxx posted...

For that matter why do they call ground up cow corpse pucks "hamburgers"?

This one is actually pretty easy, hamburgers are named after the city of Hamburg, Germany. It was originally called a "Hamburg steak".

TheGreatNoodles posted...

Is... is that supposed to be a counter argument to Celsius? Because it failed...

0C = very cold
10C = cold
20C = nice day
30C = warm day
40C = Hot day

Fahrenheit has a larger range of numbers, so it's easier to get a feel for the temperature. A 40 spread in Celsius takes you from freezing to a hot day, while Fahrenheit that same range would have a spread of 72.

For science, of course, Kelvin is far superior to both Fahrenheit and Celsius.

If a person is truly smart, he will be able to recognize when he is wrong.

A stupid person thinks they are smart, and thus thinks they are never wrong.

Most states let you file for unemployment if you're out of work due to a temporary layoff.

Bad news is the first week they usually don't pay you anything, but at least you'll get one week's worth if it's a two week layoff.

One user on Reddit even claims that instead of sending one pic, Samsung Messages sent out their entire photo gallery to a contact in the middle of the night.

33,000 files in my photo gallery. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Now, what kind of toothpaste? I've had some "all natural" stuff that was absolutely horrid, and I've had some kid's toothpaste that tasted like candy.

0C = Cold day
0F = Very cold day

30C = Very warm day
30F = Cold day

60C = Insanely hot day
60F = Nice day

90C = You are dead
90F = Hot day

120C = Your blood is boiling
120F = Very hot day

InfestedAdam posted...

Who do you folks usually choose to save/sacrifice. I never get any attachment with William or Alenko so typically go with saving the higher ranking/longest party member, Alenko.

I usually find biotics more useful than guns. When the bad guys start floating around, they can't shoot back.

argonautweakend posted...

where did you get all those coins? Do you go bank roll hunting, get them as gifts...inheritance or actually purchased?

I bought the proof quarters for myself, most of the bullion coins I got as payment for doing work for someone, and a few I got as gifts, and nearly all the really old coins were handed down from my grandfather's grandmother, while the 1960's-ish coins were from my grandmother.

Just wait until you turn 40. A 9 pm bed time starts looking really nice.

19oz of silver bullion coins, 24 Morgan dollars, 3 Peace dollars, 1 Carson City Seated Liberty half dollar, 1 Barber half dollar, 3 Walking Liberty half dollars, 6 Franklin half dollars, 11 1964 Kennedy half dollars (90%), 58 1965-70 Kennedy half dollars (40%), 1 Barber quarter, 1 1961 Washington quarter, 45 America the Beautiful silver proof quarters, 1 Seated Liberty dime, 1 Barber dime, 14 Mercury dimes.

Also 1 Shield nickel, 1 Liberty Head nickel, 3 Buffalo nickels

And 1 Indian Head quarter eagle

This is another of those FBI "stings" where they find some guy who's pissed off, pretend to be Al Qaeda or ISIS or whatever, "offer" to help him get bomb making materials, then jump in and claim they "stopped" a terrorist plot, when the guy would never have done anything in the first place if they hadn't egged him on.