Lurker > TaKun782

Best game fueled by mountain dew!

That nose is BIG!

That womans scream is making my ears bleed.

If he can't take a joke...

This year was pretty bad for me... my depression got worse, I was in the hospital twice on suicide watch. Had a concussion the very same month and went back to the hospital for that.. I'm just always sad.

DirtBasedSoap posted...

TaKun782 posted...

Boomer? I thought it was "melinial"?

damn was that an actual attempt at spelling? embarrassing

No, it was an actual attempt at attempting.

King_Dilly posted...

Krazy_Kirby posted...

both are weird, but bronies are worse.

mlp is for little girls, not creepy grown men.

I agree! Furries do have some disgusting tendencies themselves though, especially with the diaper stuff.

We also like to yiff sometimes as well. Having hot sex in fursuits.

nogaems posted...

OhhhJa posted...

At best a fast food chicken sandwich can only be like a 6/10.

compared to what?

I'd honestly say, Chick fill a. Also operate as fuck... I liked it. But it's nothing to stab someone over either.

Boomer? I thought it was "melinial"?

joemodda posted...

God sees everything, including when you were taking a weewee when you were 5 years old.

Fucking pedo

BUT...his dad his technically "made" him in a way if you wanna get all religious I guess :P

Hey TC.. just wanna write to you and say im terribly sorry for the loss of your pops dude :(
I cant imagine what its like losing a father. I suffer from depression and sometimes panic attacks thinking about shit like this cause my dad is like 62. This post just made me realize that no one is here forever... if you still have a mom, brother or sister... give them the best hug you can ever give them.

So how's that wall going?

Fierce_Deity_08 posted...

Anchovies

No! No!! Anchovies do NOT go on pizza. Pineapple does not go on pizza either. I know it's not just me..but that shit is fucking nasty.

Larry King ruled all.

Mad_Max posted...

Imagine caring how other people spend their own money

Nah.. we dont. We just like to make fun of this shit.

We dont really get too many kids around here any more these days. Last year kinda proved that to me anyways. But I still do it. Buy a small bag of candies and pass them out just in case. Love Halloween.

Pretty much all week this week I get asked this same question most notably at the supermarket of all places. And I live in a suburb but normally where this kinda thing happens is around the down town area. Anyways, it just feels like its starting to happen way more often for some reason by people asking me "Hey, can I have some bus fare. My bus pass expired." "Hey there, can I have 40 cents for the bus?"

Yeah... sure. Let me just check my coin purse I always carry around with me >_> But seriously though. Its like if you are going to ask me for "bus fare" might as well say "fuck you, give me money" Thankfully, I haven't come across and rude people who do ask though. I get it though.. times are hard and shit but its the constant begging that throws me off. I cant wait to move out of here someday.

/Blogfaqs

I cant believe anyone would walk that far just for some young choocie. The fuck is wrong with this dude..

Yup..incest for sure..

Mead posted...

RoboXgp89 posted...

the joker is a incel mass shooter

but he goes crazy while having a girl friend and he only uses guns to commit crimes

None of your posts make any sense

Spoilers...

He didn't have a girlfriend though. Just to point it out that part was all in his mind... :P

Pus_N_Pecans posted...

Jesus. Have you gone to see a therapist about any of this?

Psychologist actually, that I see every three days of the week since May. Then another psychologist at the same place who checks up on how im doing with the meds I was given. 225mg of venefaxine for depression and 2mg of Lorazapam for any negative thoughts I might have during the night. Sometimes the night scares me the most as that's when I cant keep myself occupied like I do throughout the day. This is what eventually caused me to go on disability and in other words been suffering generally from depression during the past few years as well. It just gotten worse to the point where if I continued to ignore it and went on the way I did, I would not be posting here right now. Going to my doctor three times a week is probably one of the many things I look forward to as I am very committed to it.

I feel like she is the only person who can actually help me with whatever im going through in my life at this point since I barely almost never made it.

And where is my fucking Medievil?? D:

Aculo posted...

i'm not sure i understand entirely. you have a voice. you can speak. but you choose not to... because you're depressed?

not trying to give you a hard time, just trying to understand, ok?

Yes, I have a voice. But I became so silent speaking out about my past problems the trauma became worse enough for me to handle and I was unable to continue speaking as a way to cope with what happened. As if I didn't like the sound of my own voice when I was explaining this shit. Older brother forced me to do oral on him when I was 10. He was 13. Then after a while, I couldn't talk anymore. The secret was out and I started to talk much less. I was getting sick to my stomach almost everyday reliving that memory.

SpaceBear_ posted...

Say "yeet"

.....

HornedLion posted...

Wait, you guys dont talk in person but can on the internet?

@Lokarin
Why are you non-verbal?

I knew this was gonna be asked. So Ill try to answer it in the best way possible. There is a major difference between interacting with people face to face exchanging words then it is to simply type them out. But in person, its like the words never come out no matter what.

First time I heard of this shit and nope, nope NOPE! The internet is a fucking strange place sometimes man....

So, yeah. Haven't talked verbally in the past year due to extreme depression related issues im currently trying to work with my doctor on. Ive mostly been having speech related issues anyways far along before this due to mostly not being able to have a normal conversation when it became really awkward because I couldn't find the right words to say to any individual. Still is very awkward today when someone tries to talk to me and those who knew me are very puzzled by this change. But its also changed my life in a huge way by having a silent voice.

Remember when play testers and such were saying this shit a few months ago? Yeah... either they are probably way too soft or I can only think of one other thing that could possible make me cry when I play it. Seeing micro transactions/lootboxes/surprise mechanics!! :(

Thanks for the heads up man. Ill try to do this sort of thing in person somewhere I guess.

Told my psychologist finally that my older brother sexually abused me when I was 10. I felt free, embarrassed and all that other shit still. Going back tomorrow once again to have a chit chat.

wwinterj25 posted...

wwinterj25 posted...

Have you tried joining support groups and/or forums?

Im not sure where to even look into

fishy071 posted...

Sorry to hear about that. All what they are doing just doesn't make sense. You are upset and suicidal because things are unreasonably expensive and you can't even the basic necessities. Now they are just doing things to further hurt you when they are supposed to be helping you. I don't think all those lab tests were necessary. You refused them, too. It's not fair for them to charge you for things you refused, especially when they didn't seem necessary. It sounds like they just want to kill people.

Thats not the worst part of it man. Here is the worst right here... I was staying at Ahuja hospital here in Cleveland. Second time I went in, they forgot about me for 5 fucking hours. Was told the information slept through the cracks. Bullshit... and then when they finally got around to bringing in the fucking electronic pad gizmo with the skype thing on it waiting for the psych doc to call and ask me the same fucking questions with a very heavy thick accent so I couldn't understand what most of what he was trying to say, but one in particular still haunts me to this very day. Hes asks me, "What can we do for you"? And im like.... what in the god damn actual fuck? What can they do for me...? Well, they can fuck off with this bill they gave me for one and Id be so much better as thats a start towards not feeling depressed.

jramirez23 posted...

Yellow posted...

I have experience with this.

If you tell the wrong person that you're feeling suicidal you could be forcefully taken and charged thousands of dollars. Seems like the worst approach, it's a rephrasing of "protecting someone who is a danger to themselves", but if you don't want to be locked up in a ward you have to be careful who you tell.

This too. You have to tell someone you know has your best interests in mind. Someone who isnt afraid to bend the stupid aspects of the mandated reporter laws.

Then who actually is the "right person" to tell? Since apparently I cant trust no one it seems for what good that did me... : /

The Top Crusader posted...

It all really sucks and is a crappy situation, but if you have no income I'm sure the hospital has a financial aid department or whatever and if you fill out some paperwork you'll probably get the entire bill written off or at the very least reduced by a huge amount.

Both my wife and I make okay money but when we had a huge bill they still reduced it by 1,000's.

Im trying to look into that too by the way. And I also set up a Gofundme page as well and I was surprised to see at least two people donated right out of the blue. Cant link it on here though for also obvious reasons.

wwinterj25 posted...

TaKun782 posted...

You have no idea what it's like man...

Elaborate.

Just got back from the doctor telling her about something I never once told a single soul in my entire life... and I guess now is the time to tell it here I suppose. Well, it pretty much all started when I was just 10 years old and I was sexually abused by my older brother once. Forced me to do oral on him... and god... I felt so numb when I was trying to explain this fucking shit to my doctor. But thankfully, she really does care about me. Even offered to do this for free if my insurance ever ran out, but anyways... I carried that secret ever since then. Throughout the years it wasn't helped that I was also bullied and harassed every single day of my life through 6th and 7th grade. Some older kid also tried to drown me once in a headlock. Older kids throwing my backpack into the garbage with shit all over it sometimes and I had to fish it out. This happened daily. They called me a (Obvious "F word" gay name I cant say due to TOS) and other common names. They fight me just because they didn't like me and I didn't do a single thing to anyone besides just being in my own world was all I wanted. I didn't even talk to anyone because I wasn't good with people.. I tried to tell someone about it, but he didn't give a shit. All I remember during that conversation was when he was playing around with his fucking pen... >_>

So I said fuck it... and finally got home schooled. BEST decision ever made by my parents cause they knew what was going on. I never been more happier in my life. Its true this has made me most isolated indeed.... but I feel more safe on the inside then out most of the time. I try to get out and do something like the movies and such, but I lived a much sheltered life style to where I cant stand being around a lot of people. And so...after 8 long years the crash finally happened to me... back in May of this year I felt this sudden urge getting closer that I wanted to kill myself because I couldn't take this shit anymore. I was having panic attacks every weekday before work. Racing thoughts of not just suicide, but imagine like an oncoming wave of countless thoughts from the past present and future all happening at the same time...its hard trying to turn that shit off man. Just trying and praying to just get at least maybe 2 hours of sleep at best. But that's not how it always worked out and one day I finally had enough... I got the short term disability leave.

And so here I am as of today. Still alive and maybe about 40 percent better. Am I doing at least a little better then I was when I was working my old job? Yeah, of course. I mean at least now I dont have to race against the clock every night to force myself to sleep just so that I can be able to function well at work. Thankfully that never got me fired and my boss knew there was something really serious going on health wise and he was a cool guy too. Anyways, as for now besides seeing my doc three times a week for one hour, taking vanefaxine for depression, and lorazapam for panic attacks which both help. Besides the fatigued sadly, eh... im doing ok though... at least I can say just say better then being dead anyhow. : /

wwinterj25 posted...

TaKun782 posted...

At least in still seeing my doctor three times a week though to make sure I dont do anything fucking stupid.

It's good you're seeking help and I hope you have a good support network too. It's sad however it's costing you to do so with professionals. Mental health is no laughing matter. My brothers best mate killed himself a year ago and left behind his GF due to life and his own state of mind. He seemed a happy guy but I guess he never talked about his true feelings. It seems rough man.

You have no idea what it's like man... I wouldn't wish this depression on my worst enemy. It's fucking awful.

Bugmeat posted...

TaKun782 posted...

Bugmeat posted...

The hospital will eventually sell the debt to someone else and they'll sell it to another company who will sell it again. Each one hoping they can convince you to pay. You'll probably stop hearing about it in 4 years. But after 7 years it will be removed from you credit history.so long as you don't pay anything on it or even acknowledge the debt when they call you to collect. Making a single payment or acknowledging the debt to a creditor will reset the timer.

So what should I do if I can't afford it?

That's up to you. Ignore it and they'll eventually leave you alone. Ignore it for seven years and it totally goes away. You have the information. Now you have to decide how to handle it.

Well either way I can't afford it so I'll just ignore it then... : / I swear... I would feel better off dead I guess then having to worry about this nonsense..

myghostisdead posted...

We are paying on a medflight that we will probably be paying on forever. Something like $25 a month but it was worth it because it and the 2 months in the hospital saved my daughter's life.

If you are so depressed you are disabled and can't work there has got to be some other alternatives or programs for your disability.

Like what? Please do tell..

Bugmeat posted...

The hospital will eventually sell the debt to someone else and they'll sell it to another company who will sell it again. Each one hoping they can convince you to pay. You'll probably stop hearing about it in 4 years. But after 7 years it will be removed from you credit history.so long as you don't pay anything on it or even acknowledge the debt when they call you to collect. Making a single payment or acknowledging the debt to a creditor will reset the timer.

So what should I do if I can't afford it?

RoboXgp89 posted...

just get on a payment plan and pay them like 10 bucks a month, they can't force you to pay for that

I'm poor with no income now. It's impossible. At least i have a doctor doing it out of good will so i don't end up fucking killing myself.

Ahhh...never mind... im way to out of my mind and way too tired to do this shit now.. :(
Im just gonna call it a night since my meds are starting to kick in anyways and ill just tell the hospital off tomorrow once again I can't afford that shit. Thanks everyone for replying by the way. I do appreciate all the help and responses.

hypnox posted...

Find a lawyer, there are free ones out there if you are in need. Have the lawyer do their mojo.

I don't know a thing about lawyers or what to do though... : / Im in Cleveland, Ohio and I wouldn't honestly know where to look into.

LinkPizza posted...

You shouldnt have to pay the bill. And I wouldnt. Especially with how they forced you to go. And called the cops on you to make you. Sounds more like they wanted you money rather than wanting to help you...

What should I do though man? :( I cant hold a job right now to fucking save my life and thats the whole point that I fucking go to see my psychologist to. The other one though...fuck her for putting me through this fucking bullshit!!

I was in my docs office, she was worried about me. Did the whole call 911 thing with two cops so I didn't have a choice. I got released from the hospital at 3am in the morning. My doc found out about that, called me parents and said to them to take me back or they will call 911. And guess what? Nothing fucking changed at all...still didn't do shit and there is no way in fucking hell im paying for something when Im crying out for help :( Ive been suffering from depression for about 8 years of my life and this year has been full blown madness after all this shit that makes me really want to just end it all. No one really cares enough to help..

I told them once a while back weeks ago that I cant afford that. I cant make payments because right now im suffering from clinical depression and cant hold down a job to save my life. I dont know what else to tell them this morning when I get a chance. Ive got nothing... and this all happened because one of my doctors was so worried about me I ended up in the hospital twice in just under the span of two days. If only I didn't tell them my information... well fuck it.. I don't care anymore because I still cant afford it. I never asked to be put into the hospital. I never asked for an insane huge bill where they didn't even do jack shit for me either. All they did was take my blood sample, urine sample, EKG, etc...talked with a psych doctor for a little bit, then handed me a few papers about how to deal with suicidal thoughts and suggested an Intensive outpatient program which again, I already looked into weeks before and still cant afford, and so then I was on my way home. It just confuses my mind even more why I hate my life when im trying to just seek help.. :(

But anyways, yeah... sorry bit just needed to vent a bit for those that know me with how shitty my factory job was and well, it finally got to me after nearly three years of a mental breakdown by suicidal thoughts and panic attacks nearly every night made it an absolute nightmare to deal with when I had to work the next day. But thankfully, im about to go even into a longer term disability since things still arnt improving well. Depression is the worst fucking thing I ever had to go through and I swear to god I wouldn't even put this shit on my worst enemy... At least in still seeing my doctor three times a week though to make sure I dont do anything fucking stupid. Taking 225 of Vanefaxine and 2 MG of Lorazapam. It kinda helps but im just trying to enjoy whatever life I can I suppose in the meantime... : /

Do your worst chum lee ^_^

Removes violent video games. But fuck all to the guns, we will just leave them here.

>_>

>_<

0.o

CTLM posted...

-Komaiko54- posted...

Ogurisama posted...

Wonder if TC realizes you can have "negative credit"

doesn't matter when I'm never gonna get a credit card

Ogurisama posted...

Will instantly be denied any future loans. So good luck at getting a car loan or mortgage.

Why would I need any of those within the next ten years?

Credit and credit cards are not one in the same. At your age, you should know that

You are 18? You plan on walking everywhere, using a taxi or using public transportation next 10 years? That gets old and adds up quick. Plus planning your schedule around a bus schedule isn't ideal

Mortgage at 28 isn't easy but let's just say the school DOESN'T press charges and you just default on what you have to pay back. So you get a job and they automatically deduct the payments from your wages

You apply for a loan...any loan. You'll be rejected because they'll think you will do the same thing to them. That's why your idea is not only poorly thought out, it's illegal and you're screwing yourself for years

This right here TC...your plan is going to fuck your life up so bad financially. Don't do it...and for God's sakes, just go to a trade school instead. Community college. It'll save you so much time instead...

Yes...because for some reason we need to regurgitate the same damn topic again... >_>

I cant tolerate being next to anyone honestly... cant stand people at all and I dont put on a fake persona just to please anyone like I give a shit. Come to think of it... there was this one guy at work too who we used to call Dexter because of his facial expressions and how like he just didn't give a shit.