Lurker > haloiscoolisbak

Is CE like constantly horny

Surprised he didn't carjack him too at that point

I use it on my sheets before a date

Intro2Logic posted...

Last time we met in person (she has covid, so we had a zoom date the other night) I asked what she needed from me to keep things moving forward, and she seemed okay with how things are going. I've been pretty vocal that I enjoy spending time with her.

Okay, well, sounds like you're doing good and being open. Best of luck.

Intro2Logic posted...

We've kissed goodnight, and they've been more passionate than just a peck, but no.

Okay, yeah. So, no judgement, everyone's different and all that. I definitely get it and I've been there, hell my story was from when I was 27. I didn't even know if she was considering them dates I was so shy and inexperienced. she probably does know you have some interest if you met on an app but yeah.

Not really sure what to tell you but I know if I was in that position now, at 31,after previous shitty experiences where I was too timid, I would at least try to talk about things soon. Probably easier than just trying to go for things physically if you're not feeling any tension or not sensing that the moment will happen naturally

The next person I dated, I think it was date 4 we'd kissed a bit but hadn't had sex, and she was also sparse with the texting, but the fact we were obviously going on dates gave me the confidence to bring things up. I asked her in person if I could "ask her a question", she said "sure", I said something like"are you all good with the way things are going between us", calm as you like, and yeah it was as simple as that, she got the message and I think we had sex the next time we hung out, she took the lead completely

It doesn't really matter the exact words you use, just get it out in the open you like this girl. At a certain age I think it's mature to not want to waste your time and tactfully express that

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Some people are quite good at hiding it. As long as he's not peppering her with double messages he probably hasn't really put a foot wrong yet IMO. And it certainly sounds like he hasn't "confronted" her yet over anything

R1masher posted...

I remember the handjob topic you made...

must have missed this, what happened ?

He had his first sexual experience 6 months ago or so, iirc, it went horribly and the girl made his dick bleed from terrible handjob technique or something like that. Sorry if I'm explaining it poorly TC

I went on 5 dates with a girl once when I was really low on confidence and unable to make a move. Didn't help that she didn't drink so they were all sober dates.

The texting was also very sparse. She eventually told me she was too busy to date (lol) but really enjoyed the time she spent with me or whatever. Regardless of her reason I couldn't really blame her, I was very friendly but just so awkward at that time in my life

I guess what I'm getting at is, have you at least kissed this girl yet? Until you kind of get the physical barrier breached she's probably not gonna be too interested in all day texting or constant hanging out as if you're in a relationship. I only ask because I remember the handjob topic you made...

Hell, if I was ever in that position again, 5 dates and uncertain where it was going, I'd definitely try to openly communicate I was interested somehow

Evening_Dragon posted...

"Agree to disagree" seems an awful lot like "I don't want to lose even though I'm starting to realize you're right"

I mainly use it when I can see the other person isn't budging and the argument is draining my energy. Like IRL, not online, extended arguments are unpleasant and awkward

FL81 posted...

hey now

whenever I parrot anti-Soviet propaganda, it's Cold War-era propaganda from the US

I got it from Enemy at the gates lol

The thing I hate most about ads is when it's something I'm trying not to think about and suddenly the topic is forced in my face when I'm trying to just relax and switch off my brain from my constant overthinking to watch a cool informative video about WW2 or an unsolved mystery or something

"Hey guys, here's 5 mistakes you're making on dates with women"

Fucking shut up YouTube!

Virgalyssa posted...

I think you got scammed sir, you definitely messed up loaning to a guy you barely knew that had poor finances and missed rent twice in a row. This is something you do for someone you've known for years and are very close with as it is always a massive risk

Well, yeah. I didn't loan him money so to speak, he just missed the last 2 rent payments before he moved out, he paid the first 10 or so(rent is paid weekly in Australia) I had to cover his share as the real estate took the rent out of my account and well, I wasn't planning to move out anytime soon. I thought he was just a bit busy for the final 2 weeks of him living there as he was planning the next part of his holiday, hell he might have not intended to scam me originally but saw a consequence free opportunity to save some money once he was in another state and his only link to me was through social media

I had a housemate (he was a foreigner and over here on a backpacking holiday, I guess from which country he came from is irrelevant) stay with me for 3 months, we got along quite well. His last 2 rent payment were late, but we had a face to face discussion the night before he left to see other parts of the country on a road trip. He assured me he'd get me the money within a few days. I sent a message after a week which got ghosted, then I think a month later he ghosted another.

I felt pretty helpless... But managed to get some petty revenge in the form of a Facebook status he made complete with all these photos of his road trip which his family had commented on. I waited til midnight then publically called him a thief on the post, explaining the situation. He didn't see it until the following morning so it was up for a long time(due to timezones, a lot of friends and family from his country would have seen it I assume)

He blocked and deleted me but at least I embarrassed him

Try to look at things objectively

I always thought Tila Tequila was a porn name too

It's somewhat common in cricket for several players to bat left handed but bowl right handed

Any examples of that in baseball with batting/pitching?

DKBananaSlamma posted...

I looked it up and Tiger Snakes are one of the most venomous snakes around. And they're also a protected species. So if you kill one, you have to pay $7500 and spend 18 months in jail >_>

I'm sure in a self defence situation you wouldn't have to pay the fine

That is fucked. I would be so scared yanking it out like that, so worried I wouldn't even get the technique right and just only pull it half out then it starts biting the shit out of me.

He's a champ

She's a 10 physically isn't she

Literally the only reason I'd consider for one second dating a no sex before marriage type Christian

https://youtu.be/BRaa1js92Hk

kinetika_ posted...

I'm a very strong loner type, so if I get ghosted, it's whatever to me. I'm actually happiest when alone, because 99% of humanity, to me, are fake/difficult to deal with (e.g. overly sensitive or closed-minded) and I need a lot of proof from someone that they're worth my time. I know this sounds douchey, but I've just had too many past experiences of betrayal and negativity from others, so I don't care too much to get emotionally close/attached to humans.

...and yet, I've been in a long term relationship the past 11 years, and the shortest romantic relationship I've ever had was three years, so I don't know what I do to keep them or attract them. I guess I'm just the safe option

I think what gave me this ghosting/text anxiety was dating an English second language person (Iranian) for 6 months... During the start of covid so there was a lot of online only communication.

Oh boy, the text miscommunications we had. I had to basically remove Australian slang from my vocabulary(which I do on CE to a lesser extent) and just like... Tactfully ask what she was trying to say when she was messaging while tired as her English deteriorated if she was busy or feeling lazy. She also would randomly know some like, online/American slang sometimes and was happy to speak to me freely in whatever fashion she felt like while I was sitting there trying to make sure everything I said was clear and polite lol

She'd just ignore me if she felt I'd been rude to her(and feel very justified doing it) and if I tried to explain it was a literal english misunderstanding she'd say there's no point arguing, talk to me/apologise tommorow when I've calmed down

We actually didn't actually ghost each other in the end, things ended with a proper conversation, but the misunderstandings have just made me hate texting... And am maybe overly fearful of ghosting/being ignored... And as horrible as it sounds I don't really want to date another english second language person lol

bsp77 posted...

Hey, whatever happened with that one woman you were dating a month or two ago?

Kind of a long story but we stopped dating... My call. She was Nepalese, wanted to get way too serious too quick. she actually talked about her family trying to set her up for an arranged marriage during our first conversation online and if the next Aussie guy she met wasted her time she'd consider it, she'd just had a 9 month situationship. I remember being unsure if she was kind of a traditional or modern woman or somewhere in between.

I give pretty girls a lot of rope and am pretty open minded so was still happy to meet and see where it went, and things went pretty well for the first 3 or so dates.

When I realised it would probably not be a good idea to continue seeing her since our values are pretty different I sent a message basically apologising for wasting her time and she understood or at least said she did

kinetika_ posted...

I've ghosted people and people ghosted me... it's not a big deal. If there's a reason why they did it, and they care, they'll tell you. I don't understand why this is so frustrating or offensive for people.

It's very frustrating when it's over a text misunderstanding. I fucking hate messaging people before I'm really comfortable with them lol

You'll ask yourself like "wait did she think that particular message was rude or sarcastic" or "did she think I was implying this when I meant that". Because to me, with everyone claiming this is a red flag and that is a deal-breaker online these days it's hard not to feel like one wrong step or poorly worded message can fuck up something with potential

I definitely get why people get upset and confused over ghosting

Barber102 posted...

He admitted to cheating in the past, after he was banned for cheating in a some what recent time frame as this article points out.

Its not even farfetched to say he is still cheating. Hard to believe anyone who is capable of logical thought would blame magnus for his own actions.

once a cheater always a cheater, it doesnt take much to come to this conclusion. Just look at any sport or game of a competitive nature with known cheaters and see how many of them turn away from their cheating nature.

Cheating at an in person tournament complete with metal detectors would be like.. significantly harder, no, extremely more hard than cheating at online chess right? So this logic isn't convincing to me

I know of a situation with a player where the coach had a code for where they stood on the floor," Ashley said, "and they just had to stand in the right place for you to know what piece to move."
If the coach stood in a corner, for instance,

Well if he's cheating this way, I guess this hypothetical coach could be better than Magnus

But yeah since electronic anal beads is the most plausible explanation we've had so far I'm sceptical

Basically, yeah. Tell me how please. Or at least offer a theory

cuttin_in_farm posted...

My problem with the ghosting question is that people cant do a middle ground.

Like Most ghosting is done digitally. Literally state things arent working, and then ghost. That would fix 90% of peoples problems.

Even in that Twitter thread, people say the issue with stating things is that people try to convince them to date still. But people overcorrect entirely and just outright ghost without a word.

Its lazy and weird af to me. Just send a quick I think were done because (insert reason here).

Then ghost if they aint accepting the reason.

Yeah, I always figure if they start hurling abuse I can just block. All the hypotheticals based on previous experiences seem unfair to the person who hasn't gotten the chance to respond maturely yet. You're robbing them of a chance to maintain dignity. It might be beneficial for both of you. I've felt really proud after handling a rejection with an "all good :) take care"

I guess sometimes that one single reply they have an opportunity to give to your "it's not working" message can sometimes be vicious. Like I'm assuming gladius has copped vicious abuse and that's why she ghosts, not simply just had someone try to salvage it

Them trying to salvage/convince me or whatever is just like, I dunno, not that scary. Just say sorry my mind is made up. Ghost if they persist, block if you can sense insults coming

I prefer cities

MedeaLysistrata posted...

Schizophrenia

Didn't make me believe in God, but definitely that there is more going on than just naturalist physicalism

Yesss. Can relate to this. I've had 2 prolonged psychotic episodes and I started being totally, utterly convinced of omens and mind reading and all this other insane shit. It's like I was living in a dream for a couple of weeks.

Thank god for Olanzapine

Drumiester posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/1/4/7/AADoK3AADuEr.jpg

I've always loved that haha

Eab1990 posted...

Since you guys are fucking losers only talking about dating, I'm gonna bring up an entirely different point.

Job interviews.

The same people saying "just take the hint" probably shouldn't be agreeing to ghosting being a thing in job interviews, since a level of professionalism is expected. But it still happens. Doesn't matter if there were hundreds of applicants. A simple automated "you weren't selected" is all that's needed. Getting ghosted after weeks of interviewing sucks.

On the flip side, I've ghosted someone once after they canceled an interview on me one too many times. It felt good, but I was absolutely being an asshole doing so.

I know I am a thousand times more liable to be mentally affected by a dating situation going sour then a job interview or workplace issue. Even though I know one involves money and should be more important in the long term, I've just always been able to get another job and land on my feet. It's sad how confident, assertive and most importantly, clear minded I am when I'm being fucked over in a work situation compared to dating lol

So yeah, when I think ghosting my mind goes to dating not anything work related

I'm fine. I just think it's funny how

"I'm not scared of gay people, I just disagree with their lifestyle/dislike them". Come on, it's like, bullshit. You're scared of your perceived family/Christian values in society or whatever being threatened at the very least.

averagejoel posted...

I... think this is a pretty tenuous assertion to apply to homophobes in general. I also don't think it really matters if they're scared or not

Well it matters if we want to break down if the word is an accurate description or not

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering as a wise man once said >_>

Deep down a homophobe is in fact scared of homosexuality, at some level. Not saying they're all in the closet or whatever, but there is a fear element

Yeah why not. A slap is no picnic but won't do any serious damage. Red face for a few minutes. A punch I'd say no

Was this considered to be homophobic?

I imagine a guy just looks unhinged and pathetic sending a brutal "why are you ignoring me" message. As in he won't come across logical or smart. As long as he doesn't know the girls address and they're not in danger... It'll probably bounce off their back.

Girls are savage when they're scorned. Every variation of "why are you ignoring me" I've received from a girl has been so scarily on the money it cut me to the core. They're mind readers with dating lol

Lost_All_Senses posted...

I don't get this line of thinking. Why would you wanna be one of those people instead of be better than those people? It's so easy to not be one of those people.

Because as others have said, just matching with someone and exchanging a few messages is nothing. I match with a bunch of people and an actual date happens 10% of the time. It's pretty easy to not get attached or take anything personally before you've spent time with them in person. everything is really low stakes online IMO. Very fair to assume they're just talking to other people and you didn't connect fast enough.

Maybe if you have phone calls with them before meeting and they ghost it's different but I never do that.

Also, where would I draw the line for not ghosting before meeting? A 5 message exchange, a 20 message exchange, 2 days of chatting, 7?

My "don't ghost after meeting, everything before is fair game" works for me and I doubt has resulted in any hurt feelings

Anteaterking posted...

I think it's "nicer" to not ghost people, I'm just saying that doing it isn't a sign that you're "socially maladjusted".

Also I think the level of interaction matters too. There are people in this topic who are saying that matching someone alone is enough to entitle them to a "here's why I stopped talking to you". That's crazy talk. That would be like saying a few words to someone at a party and then throwing a fit that they never said anything to you again. This is why people are saying that part of the problem is people getting far too invested in matches.

Okay yeah, my theory is before you've put the time, effort and emotional energy into a date anything goes. 90% of online matches end with someone not replying to the other person eventually, so yeah I have no issue with ghosting til you've met. For me, a line is crossed at that point

Anteaterking posted...

It's not clear communication, but only because it's time based. It's also not clear communication to pile all of the important info at the end of a sentence.

I've been ghosted. It obviously sucks, but every time there's a topic on CE about it you get completely unhinged takes.

Like you can go "the only people who ghost are socially unadjusted" but do you really think "people who ghost" are less socially adjusted than "people who tend to get ghosted"?

Yeah I do, because I've also been in situations where I'm the rejecter and i never ghost anymore. I remember the first person I ever met off tinder, she said something like "can you just tell me why you're not interested rather than ignoring me because I feel pretty shit". I was rocked by that lol. I remember feeling like "damn, got me there."

And it's stuck with me lol. That was about 6 years ago and I've never ghosted someone I've met in person since. I've had a mutual case of nobody messaging each other after a date, but no ghosting.

silverpine posted...

there's guys in here passionately arguing that women should always be available to talk

Um, no. We're talking reasonable timeframe here. I'm not getting upset if I don't get a reply to a message in 10 minutes lol. It starts to feel like ghosting after 2-3 days. Regardless I never send a follow up message anymore since it only makes things worse. so 2-3 days may as well be forever.

frozenstar posted...

if a chick ghosts you, it's probably on you or it isn't on you and you shouldn't take it personally. just take the L and move on.

There's a big difference between it's probably on you or it isn't lol

Do you have a glaring red flag you'd like to know about so you can work on? Or isthis girl dating someone else and it just got more serious? And it's literally nothing you did

Like I try to learn lessons from every person I date but with ghosting I can't learn shit.

I'm not gonna use the word trauma but I've been ghosted enough times now that I am hyper sensitive to doing anything wrong or even the slightest misunderstanding in the early stages of dating now. I'm walking on eggshells at the beginning lol

It's the worst thing for my schizo brain to deal with lol. A simple rejection/honest explanation is 50x easier to deal with then "I'm never taking to you again. Guess why"

However before you've met someone there's different rules for sure. I wouldn't expect clarity from someone I've been messaging for a couple of days on a dating app who stops.

But if I've made the time and effort to go and meet you in person for a date, which for me is daunting, a line has been crossed. You're now an actual person to me not text on a screen.

If this ever becomes completely acceptable ettiquette we've gone backwards as a species

Owen Hart and Eddie Guerrero were not overrated due to their early deaths. Both were A+ level workers, very over, and made their characters work for them.

My mental health can't handle drama

It depends. I have female friends going back to high school I hang with all the time (in a group with guy friends too, rarely 1 on 1) but yeah I wouldn't cast them aside for someone I've known 2 months as I've known them 10+ years