Lurker > PrivateBiscuit1

My phallus is ready.

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Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
Down with Zhang. Let there be Biscuit!

I think John Cena could win if he could lift the Big Show.

But I've never seen him do such a feat of strength! So there's no hope!

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Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
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We get there and Wolverine has a bunch of people in the church and says we can ring the bell to keep the symbiotes away. Spider-Man calls for an evac and we fend off the church for a while. The SHIELD heli-carrier is flying away, but the symbiotes are grabbing it! Wolverine leaps off it and tackles a bunch of them down. They all pounce on him and merge... and OH MAH GOODNESS, IT'S SYMBIOTE WOLVERINE!

For those curious how he looks:



Eh, alright. But his line when he appears is "Finally, I'm the tallest guy in the bar!" ...Really? Is that really what you wanted to say, Symbiote Wolverine? He's just like Wolverine. Except bigger. Basic fight until Wolverine gets some Adamantium spikes coming out of him everywhere. ...Kay, that's different. He says "I've wanted to kill you ever since the day I've met you!" ...To be fair, can you fault him for that?

Luckily, it just adds more Health to Wolverine. But the game glitches in my favor with the air slide. Basically, sometimes when you use the air slide, you get stuck against the enemy and hit him many, many, many more times than you are intended to. So it wipes out his extra health completely. I beat him up some more and... MID BOSS QTE EVENTS YES!

Wolverine jumps on the Church and takes out the big bell. He throws it at Spider-Man. First fail is Spider-Man getting squashed in a hilarious fashion. It is pretty awesome. Spider-Man dodges it and throws the giant bell at Wolverine, who hits it back. Miss the QTE and Spider-Man gets squashed again. Ahahaha. You succeed with that one and Spider-Man kicks it back after using his webbing on the ground for leverage. Wolverine smashes it though. Oh well. Beat him down a bit more and you get a good and bad choice. I choose the good choice, which involves Spidey... watching Wolverine. Okay.

Wolverine is stabbing and ripping the symbiote out of him. Spidey asks "Doesn't that hurt?" and Wolverine says "Yeah, like hell." And then when he's done he says, "I prefer life this way. This is who I am" to which Spider-Man says "That must be nice..." "What?" "Knowing who you are..." ...WHAT!? Where did that come from!?

I go back to Harlem and Mary Jane is surprised to see Spidey. They are escorting the people of Harlem out of here and Mary Jane makes Spidey promise he won't use the dark suit! And he promises! And... that's it. Next mission is me escorting civilians. Because I had missed that part of this game oh so much. I'm done now.

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Okay, so I need to help out a bunch of aerial evacuations. What does this consist of? Killing symbiotes and letting civilians run away to the heli-carriers. Yahoo. The first one sucked because it was on the ground and they kept taking them away. Then the last two were on the roof. So that made it easier. Why, you may ask? Wouldn't you need to do stupid ass wall fighting and have a smaller area to take out enemies? Well, yeah. Unless you cheese it like I did! I decided I would web them all as they come onto the roof. So they crawl over and I spam the f*** out of my webbing to get super fast web tie downs so it makes them unable to move super fast. After that, I continued to spam the webbing, so they would be knocked back and fall off the roof and to the ground. This kept them gone for the longest time and usually they don't even try scaling the building any longer. This works very well and ensures I don't have to f*** around with this game's BS. So yeah! I manage to get everyone to safety. Spidey decides to change up his poses with an ARM CROSS POSE. I don't know why.

Now then, since we just did these aerial evacuations, what do you think we'll be doing next? WHY, MORE AERIAL EVACUATIONS OF COURSE! This f***ing game.

But now I get to follow a SHIELD heli-carrier to a SHIELD base... which is actually Moon Knight's crib. F*** YEAH MOON KNIGHT! But yeah, there are Vulture symbiotes now, so we have to deal with that. They aren't that difficult. However, when I was heading to the area, you have to be standing on a ship since if you fall off, you can't catch up no matter what. So of course, I saw enemies. The logical thing to do would be to attack them. But no, you can't. Because if you do, you'll be too far behind and fail the mission. So after my first failure, I just stood there... watching. One of them attacks me anyway, and luckily it was at the very end so I could keep up enough to not fail the mission. I defeat the enemies and now I get to talk to Moon Knight!

After destroying a bunch of Vulture hives, Black Widow is barking out orders for SHIELD to defend their main base. Her accent is really, really, really, really, REALLY f***ing annoying at this point. Anyway, I have to defend the big electric wall, which takes forever, and then I have to call in an air strike. But wait, a Berserker Symbiote appears! Probably because it ate Wolverine or something. There's a bunch of them that come at the door, and I have to defeat them all. The air strike arrives and blows the f*** out of the main area. ...Uh, success...?

I then buy the final parts of all of Red Spidey's moves! Hoorah! However, the next mission is to meet Mary Jane in Harlem. ...Oh god, can I take it? We haven't had any stupid storyline stuff happen today, so I guess I can go do it. For all of you.

But holy crap, that was so far away that I had to travel. Wow. I get there and MJ is holding a shotgun, asking how to use it to Luke Cage. Spidey calls for an evac for everyone in Harlem. He asks Luke Cage to take care of MJ, to which MJ promptly cocks her shotgun and says in a badass manner "MJ can take care of herself. I have some friends to save." F***ING I HATE MARY JANE WATSON! Now we need to find Wolverine for some reason I don't know. My next mission objective? "Go to Church." Well f*** you game. Don't push your religion on me.

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Bring on the suffering.

It's that time again.

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Aha. Another was hooked.

Also, Togami wants to show everyone that he finally forced Fukawa to take a bath.

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Speaking of Catwoman.



Dear lord, what is happening to her body?

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I'd say that this unfinished storyline has now officially......... Delivered.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

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Actually, let me show off my favorite Electro look, since why the hell not?



Spectacular Spider-Man had an awesome Electro there. They wanted to keep the starfish motif, but they made it much better. They made it actual electricity shooting from his head, which made it seem less... like he got dressed in his closet. He's in a full suit which looks plain, but I think that's part of the charm. He's a pissed off lunatic who can't control himself and wishes he was normal. He lost his damn mind, and you can tell he's ticked off when he's got FREAKING ELECTRICITY COMING OUT OF HIS HEAD. Not only that, you can see the electricity going through him on his suit. It's cool. Plus, when he's really freaking out, the electricity on his head goes flaring everywhere.

Basically, this Electro is the coolest, and Marvel really needs to make him look similar to this in the comics. Basically, they ought to take every idea from Spectacular Spider-Man and just steal it, because it's such a f***ing awesome show and was undeservedly cancelled.

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I'm actually an Electro fan.

You know, when he isn't wearing the goofy ass starfish on his face.

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I think last night proves that Vince is absolutely bats*** insane and needs to not have any control of booking WWE.

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The blond chick, yeah.

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Do you remember the chick on GameTrailers/SpikeTV at E3 that was talking about all the twitter stuff? That's her.

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AND there's a new Creative Has Nothing For You!



S*** gets real when they bust out papers.

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Oh man, Are You Serious? was good.



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Ultimate Spider-Man gets more watchable in the later episodes because it has less cut away jokes. It's still not that great though. They are basically cashing in on Family Guy sort of comedy.

Avengers: EMH is freaking amazing though and I can't believe they're honestly getting rid of it. It was like the perfect Marvel cartoon.

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Wow.

Much respect for Ono now. Capcom is terrible though.

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And Del Rio is officially out of the PPV.

So... Johnny Curtis time?

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I just love how put off and childish Kirigiri is all of a sudden. It's great.

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Now to fight him! This is annoying. Basically, you attack Electro for a while. Then Electro has a bunch of symbiotes that charge him up that are f***ing impossible to hit because you have to rely on the auto target air attacks which completely f***ing suck, and you can't use the web strikes because they break them all and shoot you back. So basically, you need to pray that the auto aerial attack hits are merciful, which they aren't. So you're attacking these enemies and you try to take them all out, but you can't. So Electro gets charged up and creates more hives you need to destroy before you can attack him again. And you repeat this process five times. Btw, Electro tells you all of this and Spider-Man whines out "You're telling me your plan!" Ugh. And he has a terrible line each time he breaks a pod. "These pods are good for nothing." What the f***?

Anyway, you beat Electro and he is screaming and trying to get the symbiote off. Spidey cheers him on and tells him he can do it! And he does. Then Electro stumbles around saying that nothing matters because his sister is dead and then he collapses. CUE EPIC FANFARE AND SPIDEY LOOKING HEROIC. I can summon Electro as my ally if I'm bad now. Not the worst boss fight, but it's just annoying parts that make it something you don't really want to do.

So Spider-Man tells Black Cat he needs to talk to Kingpin. So we're going to go talk to Black Widow since the game is making us. I get back there and she sounds so f***ing put off that Spider-Man is back. "What do you want Spider-Man?" Nobody likes this son of a b****. Not even the good guys. Now, I'd continue, but the game keeps going really slow when I try to do stuff for some reason. I'm going to go ahead and assume it'll crap out soon if I keep playing. So for now, I'm done.

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So now I need to do missions for Kingpin. I talk to him and he says "You're not done out there." rofl Okay, I'm not done doing my hero job. F***ing Kingpin is telling me this. Holy crap.

So I have optional choices. My first one is to Insult Kingpin. Good idea, really. So they start off with a small conversation and Spider-Man says he can be nice if Kingpin can. Kingpin says that he does not get where he is in life being nice. So Spider-Man, completely unprovoked and having a civil conversation otherwise, says "One doesn't get where you are in life without eating a few hundred doughnuts in a week." Spider-Dick. Kingpin replies with "In the interest of personal gain, I can easily ignore your childish jokes" because, well, why shouldn't he? Spider-Man is kind of a lame ass in this game. Spidey keeps insulting Kingpin, and Kingpin just utterly destroys him.

"Quite the hero aren't you? Our city is being destroyed and you save the day by insulting me. Very nice. Even after you came to me for help."

Holy s***, is this game trying to make Spidey look like the worst? Spidey even keeps insulting him and Kingpin says "Another fat joke? How childish." God damn. Kingpin tells Spidey he's helping to become the most admired man in New York for saving the city. After the second dozen fat joke, you kind of have to think Spider-Man is really, really, really lame.

So now I'm on this rooftop fight after a lame ride on a SHIELD hovercraft. And I have to keep Kingpin's men alive and kill all the enemies. I fail the first time because I tried saving a hostage that appeared for some reason and I went too far away. The second time, I was busy killing enemies... and they die super fast because they keep getting knocked off the roof. Oh come on.

The third time, it spawns me facing the opposite direction for some reason, so I try getting back on the roof. And I get the most hilarious glitch in this game so far. Spider-Man is on the roof top, but only his lower half is sticking from out the top of the roof. So you have Spider-Man's legs just dangling in the air. I can move around still, and what's hilarious is that his legs just bob up and down as you move around. Ahahahaha. I play with this for a while since this is the only enjoyment I've gotten out of this game today, and then an enemy hits me and ruins it. I waste too much time and lose.

The fourth time, I'm doing good. But get this. There's a cutscene where Black Cat appears and just... runs off. However, while this cutscene is playing, the enemies are still being attacked. lmfao So I can't stop anyone from dying and I literally lose mid-cutscene. This game is so s***tily made!

So the next time I succeed and I have to talk to Black Cat who tells us that there are more of these things. Spider-Man is literally surprised. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN SPIDEY!? I have to beat up the new symbiote enemies now... the Electro-Symbiotes. These are obnoxious because they come in packs and shoot chain shocks at you. So often, you are left being chained into being blown back by electric shots. So that's fun.

Now, I have to take orders from Black Cat who tells us to go after the source of the electro symbiotes. Okay then. I go and find a big area in a park where there's a bunch of electrical structures powering a giant pod. I have to destroy one of those by defeating the hives around there and... to the game's credit (notice how sparingly I use this) they made a Symbiote Electro look like the baddest, most scariest f***ing thing you will ever see as he's being worshipped by the electro symbiotes. God damn, I have to give it to this game.



See? F***ing awesome.

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Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
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Ho! An update!

Kirigiri is hilarious to me now.

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It appears as if John Laurinaitis is no longer the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations in WWE, as his name has been removed from the company's corporate website's list of executive officers.

Paul "Triple H" Levesque's name has been added to the corporate site, and it appears as if he will be taking over for Laurinaitis as his job title is now Executive Vice President, Talent and Live Events.

With Laurinaitis being removed as WWE's Executive Vice President of Talent Relations, that makes Big Johnny only an on-air performer for WWE. For story line purposes, Laurinaitis' WWE.com profile is still billing him as the EVP of Talent Relations, and it's likely he will still refer to himself as such on TV.

No Big Johnny!

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wg64Z posted...

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-we-know-nintendo-has-lost-its-mind/

The main point that hit me was the adding extra useless hurdles to add difficulty. Say what you will about cracked, but that logic is sound.

For a cracked article, that was surprisingly good to read.

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Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
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I'll be playing shortly.

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Hey guys, this might be the last time we EVER hear Orton's theme. So enjoy it to a slick Will Smith beat.



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ertyu uh ya what is good for

absolutely nothing

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The new Splinter Cell looks like it sucks because the demo made it seem like baby's first espionage game.

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Hopefully we get an update today.

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In other news, Scott Steiner Twitter Rant time:

“After brooke hogan tweeted that she could make more money on her back than i did in my wrestling career Which i accepted and i will get into later,a high ranking official from TNA (who i respect) called me and Without going into the whole conversation he ask me to stop tweeting and since im trying to Save TNA from the same fate as WCW,and this official also has TNA’s best interest in mind i agreed Until *****off opened his mouth spewing his bull**** as usual,but first since i missed brookes debut,I know The camera adds 10 lbs but OMG how big is her head,did everybody notice when they were advertising her For the show they had a picture of her that looked totally differerent of her when she walked out,how many Gallons of paint did it take to airbrush that big head…and this is why i accepted her challenge that she Could make more money on her back,even though guys have fetishes and sometime guys are just bored But she has too many physical variables and abnormalities to be competitive or make money as a whore.”

“Keep in mind she could have issued the challenge that she could make more money singing but she chose Prostitution bcuz even she knows her singing sucks…her dad took her to a few music studios in nashville in a last ditch effort and of course they got laughed out of the studio…same results cant sing cant dance and shes an amazon.”

“Alot of responses to her debut was that she was a amazon..she has fat knees,cankles and did i mention she has a big head Spinkled with a lil transvestite dust.”

“So with the horrible ratings and reviews of his daughter what does hogan do;re-tweets a sexual tweet bcuz The guy asks him too! LOL what a ******* idiot..need some ppl to tweet hogan the most vulgar sexual laced tweets and lets see if The dumbass will re-tweet them”

“For 21/2 yrs since hogan *****off n pritchard have been in charge the ratings have sucked and TNA continues To lose more and more of its fanbase and they think bringing in hogan’s no talent daughter in will help The ratings…..they are fn crazy….the knockouts are pissed and think shes a joke.”

You want a storyline you want ratings make brooke the chazz bono of tna,minus the penis implant,bcuz he/she has to have a vagina like her dad.

Not only is tna wasting money on flying his daughter to the shows,TNA also pays to fly her dog with her. Unbelievable!!!!

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Xbox GT: PrivateBiscuit1
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I thought Weaku was finally going to whore himself out.

Damnit.

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The coffee forewarned me of something like this happening... Chad and I will be prepared for whatever happens though.

Isn't that right, Chad?

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HIS NAME'S FRANK!

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Tell me why this TNA PPV won't suck.

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I forgot to mention that the entirety of the Fisk Tower mission(s) were entirely used with Wall Combat. And the Wall Combat is absolutely and completely terrible. The first move is a slide that makes you either miss the opponent or overshoot him, and the web attacks are pretty terrible too, so it's just very, very, very obnoxious to do these missions. And none of your attacks do a whole lot of damage on the wall, which makes it even more painful. There's no way to make this go any smoother or any more tolerable. So you just kind of have to suffer through the terrible Wall Combat.

That's why I was super miserable this time!

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Damien Sandow ‏@TheDamienSandow
Mr. Sandow is a bit disappointed with Tyson Kidd. Sincerely, Ignatius

Damien Sandow ‏@TheDamienSandow
For all of your information, Mr. Sandow does not tweet on here. It is beneath him. I do the tweeting. Sincerely, Ignatius

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Haguile posted...

From: PrivateBiscuit1 | #370
1) You didn't tell me what I saw in my coffee.
Your coffee looks at you funny, like it hates your guts. You also saw that England is going to beat the crap out of France YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST. Outside from that it looks like a normal coffee.

Mmm... Chad, there's something wrong with this coffee today. It seems like it's full of, well... despair. It seems to be very negative, which is easy to believe considering the place we're in. However, I think that something bad might happen tonight as a result. We have some very shady people in here, and I'm sure at least one or two of them might hate my guts. I just can't shake the feeling of negativity that this cup of coffee brings.

I also feel like England might end up beating France, but I'm afraid that doesn't mean much to me, Chad. Although I know you're quite a fan of the France team.

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Why would anyone want to see the chat?

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You know, Christian's promo where he explains why he's a face now is actually pretty good and makes a pretty good measure of sense. A little bit late on the explanation, but it was still a pretty solid one.

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It's time for Johnny Curtis to step up to the plate and take the title from Sheamus.

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So far, this Friday Night Squashdown has kind of sucked.

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Well, that was depressing.

I just mostly wanted to see Ryu stomp, and he did do some cool stuff, but... yeah.

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Alright, so I save the five teams from the symbiotes. Spider-Man b****es when Black Widow tells him to get a symbiote sample. I guess that's icky if it's the end of the world and stuff and you've already been infected and are currently infected by a symbio- Oh f*** it. This Spider-Man is terrible and embarrassing. But now I'm escorting an APC vehicle. This is alright. I mean, nothing too special.

UNTIL I HAVE TO RESCUE THREE F***ING LOSERS ON THE ROOF AND PROTECT THE APC AT THE SAME TIME HOLY S***. They keep spawning enemies and they're always close by the time you finish off a group, so then you have to go to the next group. Holy s***. This is the worst. I go up to go get people on the roof and the APC explodes every single time. God f***ing damnit. Three times I try this.

So then I just say f*** it and go and save three civilians on the roof. And I get two of them there as the APC is getting destroyed and it's very close to death... and then it drives away. ...Uh, I just left one of the civilians on the roof to die now. And then it acts like it's a huge accomplishment. What the f***? This game.

Anyway, I do the mission to save MORE people because I guess this game really likes to try and make it long. I just web everything while people run to the APC. It's very easy. But now I need to go to Kingpin and ask him for some things so Tinkerer can make his device. "Okay, no problem! I'll just file the papers and get my name changed to the Amazing Spider-Diplomat! Off I go." SO F***ING FUNNY SPIDER-MAN HOW DO YOU STAY SO WITTY?

Anyway, I travel all the way to Fisk Tower and it has a bunch of electric generators. So Spidey needs to take out a bunch of Kingpin's men and symbiotes. And so Spider-Man takes out all of the generators and places them back in upside down (I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS IS A POSSIBLE THING). It was very confusing. But anyway, Spider-Man does all three, and the electricity dies down. And then he proceeds to go up top and talk to Kingpin. Kingpin says it's all Spider-Man's fault this happened and blah blah blah. And then he says that he will help Spider-Man if he does him a few favors... BY TURNING ON THE MOTHER F***ING GENERATORS BACK ON THIS GAME KILLS ME WITH THIS REDUNDANCY!

I do that and then we're all chilling in Fisk Tower. Well, let me tell you who is chilling there. It's Spider-Man, Kingpin, Tinkerer, Black Widow, and..... Vulture? Huh? Tinkerer wants a bunch of scientific stuff, a full pardon, and a castle with a hot servant. Oh ho ho ho this game is so funnay. Kingpin gets him to castle, servant, and science stuff. And then Black Widow gives him a full pardon. And then she b****es under her breath as she walks away. And that's about all I can take for today.

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Why would you do that to yourself?

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Two things:

1) You didn't tell me what I saw in my coffee.

2) Do you have a template for us for the night actions?

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Silver, I will not tolerate any of your mind warping shenanigans. You aren't anything but a bully with some abilities, and you've already blown your one shot to make this look like an accident. How unfortunate for you.

This reminds me Chad. Do you remember that Stephen King novel with the tormented girl with psychic powers?






That's right, Chad. It was Carrie. I imagine that Silver's powers might backfire on him. Perhaps he had a tormented childhood like that girl. He might not know any better, is the thing. In the end, he too might be covered with blood like that little girl. But it probably won't be pig's blood... it will likely be his own.

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So, I have an idea what's up with the pictures.

What if they actually went to school normally before, but then Monobear forced them to have memory loss while the outside world went to hell? Therefor, there's more DESPAIR since they were all already friends before and Monobear is making them kill each other.

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Maria, I would appreciate if you didn't talk about Chad like that. Thank you.

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Taz? Provide meaningful commentary?

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