Current Events > C/D: Being alone really sucks.

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jediknight0056
03/13/24 9:02:55 AM
#51:


Alone =/= lonely
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CyricZ
03/13/24 9:06:29 AM
#52:


Because of my social anxiety, I tend to find comfort in solitude.

But I also like having a partner. That said I've never lived with one. None of my relationships have been cohabiting.

Also seeking a partner has become worse than ever for me. I'm rarely in situations where I meet new people, and when I am, social anxiety tends to take priority over taking chances on someone.

And apps are the worst for my mental health. Just awful. I was even on Bumble for a while where no pressure was on me to make moves and it still just felt awful for me.

My last relationship was in the latter half of 2021 and lasted six months. She decided she wasn't into dating and I honestly wasn't feeling much of a connection either but I would have given it a full year rather than six months. Still I don't regret the choice.

That said I tried searching some more for a few months and just stopped because it was too anxiety-driving for me.

And that leads me to now.

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CyricZ He/him
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bsp77
03/13/24 9:39:23 AM
#53:


I personally think being alone sucks, which is why I became a serial monogamist. I am not claiming that this is healthy

@CyricZ reach out of you want. I'm support you and try to give advice that could help

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Currently playing: Sea of Stars
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#54
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#55
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KogaSteelfang
03/13/24 10:24:05 AM
#56:


kinetika_ posted...
Being single is great, and having this mindset of being alone/single is miserable is why you are in the first place. I'm never single because I'm never allowed to be, because people (men and women) fall in love with my strength of character. People are attracted to confidence, loving one self, and being able to adventure and explore on your own -- traits that make people follow you, and eventually get to know and fall in love with you. You can enjoy life without a companion, and I feel I do best single... but I always end up in a relationship because I attract someone some how.

Anyways, learn to love your self, and others will, too. Life is too short to feel miserable... and most definitely can be made worse if you choose the wrong partner. Relationships aren't always this amazing/glorified thing most like to prop them up as.
Posts like this make me think most people don't even realize what loneliness is. There's a difference between being single and being alone. From the way that posts sounds, you're rarely even single, and I doubt you've ever truly been alone.

Some of us have never had a date. Some of us have never been wanted. There is no choice in the matter. It's not a matter of being in between relationships, taking a break, or just enjoying single life. Because being alone is all there is to it.

I'm glad you're happy and have a healthy life life. But not everyone is having their emotional and physical needs met. You know what happens when people's needs aren't met? They become unhealthy, and damaged. It's not fair to judge us, and tell us we need to learn to be happy in our pain. Especially not by someone whose never truly experienced it.

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chaos_knight
03/15/24 6:42:34 AM
#57:


I was like this for most of my life. You turn to love torturing yourself that you will never find another, even in emotional or sexual terms. Past year I've found a girl who is both one of my best friends and is very sexually compatible with me. I was one of the most impossible cases.

Just saying, it is possible to find someone.

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cuttin_in_farm
03/15/24 7:23:49 AM
#58:


I find it weird that the prompt is being alone sucks and folks immediately go into Well, being single is great!

Being alone isnt just in reference to dating relationships.

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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.
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SweetNut_Farm
03/15/24 7:35:22 AM
#59:


SamsungGearS2 posted...
Im middle age and couldnt be happier still being single, no one to tell me what I can and cannot do, no plans to work around, etc.

I do have 2 dogs though, so if they count against loneliness then Id still say its great being single
Did you get another dog? Gizmo has a buddy now?

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Time to get to gettin
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LeoRavus
03/15/24 7:39:31 AM
#60:


cuttin_in_farm posted...
I find it weird that the prompt is being alone sucks and folks immediately go into Well, being single is great!

Being alone isnt just in reference to dating relationships.

TC mentioned "being loved by someone" so I assumed it was about having a SO, not a roommate or buddy or whatever.

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cuttin_in_farm
03/15/24 8:56:53 AM
#61:


LeoRavus posted...
TC mentioned "being loved by someone" so I assumed it was about having a SO, not a roommate or buddy or whatever.

He also mentioned his boring life so I interpret it as he just doesnt have much social interactions in general.

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A show of kindness may not do much help, but a show of cruelty may do much harm.
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Darkinsanity1
03/15/24 9:04:56 AM
#62:


Wow I'm surprised at the poll results, probably pretty telling of this board. Being alone sucks, and no one should be, even if they're relatively comfortable and used to it. Everyone needs human contact and relationships in their life whether its friends, family, significant others, etc

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Cynrascal
03/15/24 11:42:25 AM
#63:


I dislike dealing with people on a regular basis. Why should I subject further to such nonsense?

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Asocial, not introverted. Know the difference.
Maybe those JRPGs villains were on to something about humanity being trash.
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bigblu89
03/15/24 12:19:23 PM
#64:


Being alone is ok.

Feeling lonely sucks.

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It takes zero effort to be a good person.
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bsp77
03/15/24 12:26:59 PM
#65:


bigblu89 posted...
Being alone is ok.

Feeling lonely sucks.
Yep, and they don't always go together.

I felt very alone in the last few years of my previous marriage

And then felt very supported and happy when subsequently single and going out with friends all the time

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Hayame_Zero
03/15/24 12:28:28 PM
#66:


D, I lived alone for awhile and it was great.

I still socialized, so I wasn't lonely.

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...I think I'm done here...
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LoveLikeJazz
03/15/24 12:29:25 PM
#67:


Relationships aren't for everybody. I do prefer being alone most of the time, and I chose to be for a long long time, but I don't think I would be happy without my gf at this point.

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#68
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Torgo
03/15/24 12:32:54 PM
#69:


I love being a hermit, but sometimes you need a little social interaction.

Everyone is different and you change over time. As a young person I had to do something every night, and I had to be friends with everyone and I'd wonder what was wrong with me if everyone didn't like me...

Now I don't give a shit what anyone thinks of me, and I like human interactions in short, meaningful, but sporadic amounts.

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KogaSteelfang
03/15/24 12:39:48 PM
#70:


chaos_knight posted...
Just saying, it is possible to find someone.
Except not really.

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Crimsoness
03/15/24 12:42:11 PM
#71:


I'll always be alone

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She/Her
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#72
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modena
03/15/24 12:44:48 PM
#73:


So glad I am. Starting my day with some Ray Charles and some smokey smoke.

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I'm surrounded
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bsp77
03/15/24 12:57:11 PM
#74:


KogaSteelfang posted...
Except not really.
Sorry, but it is possible with effort

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Currently playing: Sea of Stars
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Dungeater
03/15/24 1:04:56 PM
#75:


deny, being alone rules. i was ready and committed to spending my life alone til i found someone who is completely understanding and supportive of that. so we can be alone together

i am just infinitely more entertaining and interesting to myself than other ppl are to me. its just how i am

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He/Him
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#76
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bsp77
03/15/24 1:12:09 PM
#77:


Dungeater posted...
deny, being alone rules. i was ready and committed to spending my life alone til i found someone who is completely understanding and supportive of that. so we can be alone together

i am just infinitely more entertaining and interesting to myself than other ppl are to me. its just how i am
Not gonna say my wife and I are alone together, as we live together, but we probably only spend about 2 hours together on the average day. We are often in separate rooms doing our own thing, or I go out and she stays home.

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Currently playing: Sea of Stars
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Dungeater
03/15/24 1:22:34 PM
#78:


bsp77 posted...
Not gonna say my wife and I are alone together, as we live together, but we probably only spend about 2 hours together on the average day. We are often in separate rooms doing our own thing, or I go out and she stays home.
me and my boy are gonna have our own rooms. sure we'll spend more nights sleepin over than not, but just knowing we have our sanctuaries is huge. lifehack

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

its just so much easier to get lost in my mind than it is to pay attention to someone else

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My fate was the grandest, most brilliant of them all.
He/Him
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bsp77
03/15/24 1:25:04 PM
#79:


Dungeater posted...
me and my boy are gonna have our own rooms. sure we'll spend more nights sleepin over than not, but just knowing we have our sanctuaries is huge. lifehack
Now that I could not do. We definitely use the same bedroom, but we have like 4 living spaces we can hang out in total. Well, I guess that gets shot to hell when my 4 daughters are over lol

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Currently playing: Sea of Stars
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Dark_Arbron
03/15/24 1:27:02 PM
#80:


Torgo posted...
I love being a hermit, but sometimes you need a little social interaction.

Everyone is different and you change over time. As a young person I had to do something every night, and I had to be friends with everyone and I'd wonder what was wrong with me if everyone didn't like me...

Now I don't give a shit what anyone thinks of me, and I like human interactions in short, meaningful, but sporadic amounts.

We could probably enjoy a drink together. Talk about a bunch of stuff.

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"How is that a religious topic? That's just me talking about GOD." -Frostmourne
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KogaSteelfang
03/15/24 1:32:51 PM
#81:


bsp77 posted...
Sorry, but it is possible with effort
For you, maybe.

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bsp77
03/15/24 1:34:15 PM
#82:


KogaSteelfang posted...
For you, maybe.
Nope. For you too. Do you know what "possible" means? Also, effort is required.

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Currently playing: Sea of Stars
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KogaSteelfang
03/15/24 1:46:54 PM
#83:


bsp77 posted...
Nope. For you too. Do you know what "possible" means? Also, effort is required.
I do. It's possible I could find a winning million dollar lottery ticket on the ground too. Doesn't particularly make much difference how much effort I put in looking for it though.

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bsp77
03/15/24 1:53:20 PM
#84:


KogaSteelfang posted...
I do. It's possible I could find a winning million dollar lottery ticket on the ground too. Doesn't particularly make much difference how much effort I put in looking for it though.
It is easy to tell yourself this because you have put in effort in years. And I still think when you tried various things in the past, you gave up too quickly.

But I know actually believing in you (if you truly try) only makes you feel worse, so I will stop.

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Currently playing: Sea of Stars
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random_man9119
03/15/24 1:57:28 PM
#85:


Eh, I've gotten fairly use to it... I just spend all my free time playing video games and burying myself in material possessions until they become like my tomb...

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[deleted]
03/15/24 2:02:35 PM
#88:


[deleted]
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BadKarma_JT
03/15/24 2:04:11 PM
#86:


It'll suck when you're old and taking care of yourself is a challenge, but right now it's fine.

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#87
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KogaSteelfang
03/15/24 4:53:11 PM
#89:


Know what, nevermind.

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My Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/steelfangkoga
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R_Jackal
03/15/24 6:30:45 PM
#90:


Life is life. Alone or together, just making the best of it what you can. Being alone or with someone never honestly made much a difference to me.
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Notti
03/18/24 5:11:33 AM
#91:


bsp77 posted...
I personally think being alone sucks

I'm not against being alone, so for me, relationships are take em or leave em.

I feel like this aloofness ironically has attracted some to me more than if I chased them.

which is why I became a serial monogamist. I am not claiming that this is healthy


I've heavily monogamous too. My biggest reason is what I actually don't like, and that's drama

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Dark_Arbron
03/18/24 5:41:26 AM
#92:


Notti posted...
My biggest reason is what I actually don't like, and that's drama

Why dont you like drama? Im getting sick of you always being like this. I cant take you anywhere without embarrassing me. Seriously, whats your problem? No, I wont calm down.

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"How is that a religious topic? That's just me talking about GOD." -Frostmourne
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rexcrk
03/20/24 5:20:48 AM
#93:


Dark_Arbron posted...
Why dont you like drama? Im getting sick of you always being like this. I cant take you anywhere without embarrassing me. Seriously, whats your problem? No, I wont calm down.



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