Current Events > C/D: Being alone really sucks.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Im middle age and couldnt be happier still being single, no one to tell me what I can and cannot do, no plans to work around, etc.

I do have 2 dogs though, so if they count against loneliness then Id still say its great being single

I don't remember making this topic.

But yeah, currently trying to cope with the fact that I'll never know what it's like being in a relationship. It's tough.

I tend to spiral a bit when Im on my own. Have a sort of manic energy about me that can make me a bit too full on and not do anything in moderation.

Ive always really needed another person to balance me out a bit. Luckily, Ive had one for most of my adulthood.

just this month, i can actually feel the pain on my head

Makes me wish the Buddhism lore is real that we get reincarnated after this life.

But I think we just return to nothing when we die. In a way its peaceful and we get a taste of that everytime we go to sleep.

But yeah, I'm in my 30s now. I'll never get to experience going to theme parks with another girl as a young couple. Never get to go on holiday or travel and explore other countries together as young adults.

As each year passes. I feel like I'm getting closer to the 'too old to date' age. I get stressed out. Above all else, time is also the relentless enemy.

Absolutely not. Being single is fucking great.

It is nothing to do with 'deserve'. You don't earn companionship as a reward for good behaviour.

It's something that comes when you work on it, put yourself social situations, and persevere.

UnholyMudcrab posted...

Absolutely not. Being single is fucking great.

This. Once upon a time I coincidentally had something that was close to a relationship, but by my very nature I pushed it away because it wasnt meant to be. Ive come to embrace that.

ai123 posted...

It is nothing to do with 'deserve'. You don't earn companionship as a reward for good behaviour.

It's something that comes when you work on it, put yourself social situations, and persevere.

The word deserve is used by some who viewed others got there without doing the latter paragraph

It's incel as fuck to think it's applicable to the majority, but there are people who were very lucky they were born hot or rich

Elon Musk and Donald Trump were never getting laid if they had their personalities in the middle class

SamsungGearS2 posted...

Im middle age and couldnt be happier still being single, no one to tell me what I can and cannot do, no plans to work around, etc.

Same. Happier now single than I ever was in a relationship.

I don't mind it most days. Sometimes I feel horny and fap sadly.

haloiscoolisbak posted...

The word deserve is used by some who viewed others got there without doing the latter paragraph

It's incel as fuck to think it's applicable to the majority, but there are people who were very lucky they were born hot or rich

Elon Musk and Donald Trump were never getting laid if they had their personalities in the middle class

I agree with all of this.

And if people are happy being single, that's great too.

But the magical thinking that somehow fate/the universe/god/whatever has decreed that people must be alone and miserable as some kind of punishment for their unworthiness? That's bollocks.

It's on a par with believing that disabled people are paying for crimes in a past life.

Being alone =/= being lonely.

winged_weltall posted...

Being alone =/= being lonely.

I was just about to post this.

Also you can be in a relationship and still be lonely.

Being alone is a blessing

I love my wife and daughter very much but holy FUCK do I love the rare moments that I get a few uninterrupted hours to myself.

Being single is great, and having this mindset of being alone/single is miserable is why you are in the first place. I'm never single because I'm never allowed to be, because people (men and women) fall in love with my strength of character. People are attracted to confidence, loving one self, and being able to adventure and explore on your own -- traits that make people follow you, and eventually get to know and fall in love with you. You can enjoy life without a companion, and I feel I do best single... but I always end up in a relationship because I attract someone some how.

Anyways, learn to love your self, and others will, too. Life is too short to feel miserable... and most definitely can be made worse if you choose the wrong partner. Relationships aren't always this amazing/glorified thing most like to prop them up as.

kinetika_ posted...

I'm never single because I'm never allowed to be, because people (men and women) fall in love with my strength of character.

lol

BloodMoon7 posted...

lol

You can lol all you want, but obviously something about me attracts lovers to my cold, loner self. I never asked anyone out, and i tried online dating once, but quit it because it just felt so weird, like I was grocery shopping or something and I prefer just letting life play itself out, while I pursue my personal goals, relentlessly. Sometimes I think women were thrown at me, in the past, to derail me from my goals as romance/flings distracted me big time... but I don't regret it, in fact, I can be thankful some of those experiences gave me something to write about lol

It only sucks if i think about it tbh lol.. I'm in no condition to be dating right now though. I'
Still need to get my life together. Probably should see a therapist someday too tbh. My anxiety has been getting higher and higher since the past summer.

I've been in 4 relationships total.

I'd only consider 1 significant since it lasted 3 years. I got pretty crazy towards the end with me going on tangents. I was emotionally abusive to her too. I realize I do need to medicate my anxiety to keep things normal.

I learned to face myself from Persona 4, is that enough?

kinetika_ posted...

You can lol all you want, but obviously something about me attracts lovers to my cold, loner self. I never asked anyone out, and i tried online dating once, but quit it because it just felt so weird, like I was grocery shopping or something and I prefer just letting life play itself out, while I pursue my personal goals, relentlessly. Sometimes I think women were thrown at me, in the past, to derail me from my goals as romance/flings distracted me big time... but I don't regret it, in fact, I can be thankful some of those experiences gave me something to write about lol

I mean you can just say no if someone wants to bang you silly. You're acting like Cupid is holding you at bow point threatening to blast your brains if you don't blast your unmentionables.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Myself and many others wouldn't go out with someone who is miserable all the time or feels they deserve a relationship because they're simply "nice". One of my ex's was deep in depression, and as much as I tried to help her through it, I simply couldn't because she hated who she was... and a lover can't change your own view of yourself. So yeah, as "stupid" as it may sound to you, it's the #1 rule one should follow before trying to enter a romantic relationship.

Learn to love yourself would be better reworded as learn to be comfortable with yourself, dont let other people decide your self-worth, and if you have problems, acknowledge and work on them.

My heart is stone encased by ever lasting darkness. There is no love, only hate. It fuels me and while other's hearts may beat with blood, mine beats with cold fury.

BloodMoon7 posted...

My heart is stone encased by ever lasting darkness. There is no love, only hate. It fuels me and while other's hearts may beat with blood, mine beats with cold fury.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/294a2941.jpg

Being alone in a crowd sucks

BloodMoon7 posted...

I mean you can just say no if someone wants to bang you silly. You're acting like Cupid is holding you at bow point threatening to blast your brains if you don't blast your unmentionables.

Maybe it comes off that way, but I didn't mean for it to sound that way... and sexual attraction/emotions can easily override one's ability to think. A lot of what I did for me, many found attractive, and that's what I wanted to convey with "strength of character". I always worked on my goals, my progress and my advancement in life... and many women fall in love with ambitious men and want to be that "woman behind the man", but I think mine mainly stays with me because I still write her love letters, buy her random stuff, and take her out on dates, even after 12 years

ai123 posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/294a2941.jpg

Is that Elon Musk lmao

kinetika_ posted...

Maybe it comes off that way, but I didn't mean for it to sound that way... and sexual attraction/emotions can easily override one's ability to think. A lot of what I did for me, many found attractive, and that's what I wanted to convey with "strength of character". I always worked on my goals, my progress and my advancement in life... and many women fall in love with ambitious men and want to be that "woman behind the man", but I think mine mainly stays with me because I still write her love letters, buy her random stuff, and take her out on dates, even after 12 years

Look at me. Look at my ugly face. See it say "no". Okay say it with me. "no"

Girl: You're so strong of character kinetika senpai please bang me silly
You: NO.

ai123 posted...

It is nothing to do with 'deserve'. You don't earn companionship as a reward for good behaviour.

It's something that comes when you work on it, put yourself social situations, and persevere.

The second statement isn't exactly true.

Big deny.

I love being by myself. Thats not to say I dont love being with friends or family either. But at the end of the day, I am so glad I dont share my living space with anyone.

I learned very early on (like as early as high school) that I wasnt meant for relationships, so not pining for that either helps a lot, Im sure. And maybe Id be singing a different tune if I didnt also have friends and family that I see regularly.

But, god, I love not having to worry about anyone but myself and can just do my own thing whenever I want. Like, work is difficult and stressful enough if I had to come home and deal with someone telling me what to do here too? I dont know how people arent totally miserable living like that lol.

Im actually almost concerned how much I enjoy this. My big picture anxiety is sometimes like youll end up regretting enjoying living like this somehow

Living alone is much preferable to living with others of the same sex.

ForsakenHermit posted...

Living alone is much preferable to living with others of the same sex.

?

Zwijn posted...

?

Roommates are awful. As an adult who will never have children if you're not my pet or in a relationship with me you're not welcome to live with me.

ForsakenHermit posted...

Roommates are awful. As an adult who will never have children if you're not my pet or in a relationship with me you're not welcome to live with me.

What does any of that have do with people of the same sex?

Zwijn posted...

What does any of that have do with people of the same sex?

From a heteronormative context it means that I don't want to live with someone who won't be my partner. Since I don't want to have a relationship with a man, I don't want to live with them.

ForsakenHermit posted...

From a heteronormative context it means that I don't want to live with someone who won't be my partner. Since I don't want to have a relationship with a man, I don't want to live with them.

So you also dont want to live with a woman who isnt your partner? Then your initial post is just worded weird.

Zwijn posted...

So you also dont want to live with a woman who isnt your partner? Then your initial post is just worded weird.

I'd live with a woman who isn't my partner as long as she doesn't kick me out when Chad comes over, I can just hide in my room.

Everyone's wired differently. Some people who were wired to be alone force themselves into a nuclear family because that's what society expects of them. Or they have an 'accident' or two so they're forced into it that way, then they wind up being miserable.

I believe some people were naturally meant to be alone, and others were meant to be the breeders.

I wouldn't know, I don't think I've ever felt alone, I've always been happy single or in a relationship

Confirm. Its nice having a day off when the rest of the family is out doing something, but that gets old and boring after a day.

I dunno it's not so bad sometimes