Current Events > Funeral worker breaks into dead man's apartment to steal his sex doll

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Babidi123
10/28/23 3:54:33 PM
#1:


https://news.yahoo.com/funeral-worker-arrested-sex-doll-115458526.html

Theres being down, and then theres being down BAD
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HighOnSolar
10/28/23 3:56:13 PM
#2:


man what

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Foppe
10/28/23 3:56:30 PM
#3:


Must have been one hell of a doll.

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eggcorn
10/28/23 3:57:33 PM
#4:


I can appreciate the frugality

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Warning: This post may contain triggering or distressing content.
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DrizztLink
10/28/23 3:57:36 PM
#5:


Blowceans 11

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KeeperOfShadows
10/28/23 3:57:39 PM
#6:


Understandable. It was just gonna go unused, anyway.

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__aCEr__
10/28/23 3:58:20 PM
#7:


Imagine having to settle for sloppy seconds with a sex doll.

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tremain07
10/28/23 3:58:21 PM
#8:


Bruh

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Kradek
10/28/23 3:58:36 PM
#9:


Well it's not like he'll need it anymore.

Or maybe they were friends and he's trying to save his family from seeing that, like Final Destination 2 when the guy realizes he's next to die and asks the other 2 to scrub the porn off his hard drive, and after they give him a disgusted look he says he doesn't want his mom to see it and cry.

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LinkDaLunatic
10/28/23 3:59:06 PM
#10:


DrizztLink posted...
Blowceans 11
lmfao

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NeonTentacles
10/28/23 3:59:31 PM
#11:


Foppe posted...
Must have been one hell of a doll.
This

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Forty_Niners
10/28/23 4:00:01 PM
#12:


I've learned from Dave that sex dolls can and are insanely expensive.

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Notti
10/28/23 4:00:36 PM
#13:


It cleans itself naturally via use.


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GATTJT
10/28/23 4:00:54 PM
#14:


DrizztLink posted...
Blowceans 11
ToyStory3Kenclapping.gif

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#15
Post #15 was unavailable or deleted.
R1masher
10/28/23 4:06:44 PM
#16:


Makes me wonder what he was doing before he stole the doll

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josifrees
10/28/23 4:07:14 PM
#17:


The doll was cheating on him

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KitKats
10/28/23 4:12:58 PM
#18:


Theyre testing the doll for DNA after finding the funeral worker in the dead mans apartment with disheveled clothing


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Null_Gain
10/28/23 4:14:06 PM
#19:


Expected Florida Man, got Nebraska Man instead

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Turbam
10/28/23 4:14:52 PM
#20:


Piece of shit really creepin on widows

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Axiom
10/28/23 4:15:11 PM
#21:


She better come to life when no ones around to risk that
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tremain07
10/28/23 4:19:18 PM
#22:


Axiom posted...
She better come to life when no ones around to risk that
We've the makings of a horror/porno here or a badly animated hentai

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UnfairRepresent
10/28/23 4:21:56 PM
#23:


Forty_Niners posted...
I've learned from Dave that sex dolls can and are insanely expensive.
i know they expensive because I saw that article on that Japanese guy who spend half a million on sex dolls

And he still didn't have THAT many

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Smackems
10/28/23 4:24:07 PM
#24:


Null_Gain posted...
Expected Florida Man, got Nebraska Man instead
All that corn'll do it to ya

N tornadoes

Cornadoes

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CyrusV
10/28/23 4:28:11 PM
#25:


Well, the dead man didn't need it anymore.

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brestugo
10/28/23 4:29:31 PM
#26:


a property manager found him inside the locked apartment with his clothing disheveled.


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/5/0/AAcJoVAAEzs-.jpg

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Notti
10/28/23 4:33:46 PM
#27:


Honestly, the dead man would have wanted her to live a full life without him.


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Thermador446
10/28/23 4:47:40 PM
#28:


If it was Alaska, the state would make the doll pay for the rape test kit.

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Lil_Bit83
10/28/23 5:23:36 PM
#29:


That's pretty gross.

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#30
Post #30 was unavailable or deleted.
majin_nemesis
10/31/23 7:29:06 AM
#31:


if i was the dead man family i would just give the sex doll to him, i can imagine anyone else wanting the doll although i would scan the doll first to make sure nothing valuable was hidden in the doll
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EyeWontBeFooled
10/31/23 7:32:46 AM
#32:


This isn't the sequel to M3gan. Yet.

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DemonBuffet
10/31/23 7:35:09 AM
#33:


Surprised this wasnt Florida man.

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littlebro07
10/31/23 7:36:22 AM
#34:


Probably one of those lifelike ones

If he did this for a standard balloon looking one then god damn thats a level of horny not before seen

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Ricemills
10/31/23 7:41:57 AM
#35:


Maybe the dead man left a message to get rid of his porns and sex toys when he die?

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EyeWontBeFooled
10/31/23 7:43:11 AM
#36:


Ricemills posted...
Maybe the dead man left a message to get rid of his porns and sex toys when he die?
That sounds like something you gotta get in the will or something, damn.

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FinalBraveNUT
10/31/23 7:53:19 AM
#37:


Oh shit. This is real?

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TheMikh
10/31/23 7:56:40 AM
#38:


not sure why they need to do a dna test, he was literally caught with his pants down

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WesternMedia
11/01/23 10:17:11 PM
#39:


I can see this as a sitcom gag where a robber takes the sex doll and not any of the actual valuables.

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DragonClaw01
11/01/23 10:34:27 PM
#40:


But the question is whether the doll is hot

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Mechu
11/01/23 10:35:01 PM
#41:


Priorities.

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Constant isolation and distress.
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Master_Kazuya
11/01/23 10:54:21 PM
#42:


It must have been embarrassing to get caught, he's probably gonna take this secret to the grave

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Foppe
11/02/23 10:19:22 AM
#43:


WesternMedia posted...
I can see this as a sitcom gag where a robber takes the sex doll and not any of the actual valuables.
Perhaps the judge will sentence him to become a butler?

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Returning_CEmen
11/02/23 10:23:44 AM
#44:


The property manager can now have her all to himself!

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The_Wheelman1
11/02/23 10:25:47 AM
#45:


Which CEmen is this?

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Foppe
11/02/23 10:26:44 AM
#46:


The_Wheelman1 posted...
Which CEmen is this?
Vegy.

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Luteo
11/02/23 10:26:58 AM
#47:


I was guessing Florida or Texas but it ended up being Nebraska surprisingly

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Trevorkkho
11/02/23 10:32:28 AM
#48:


the life like one with good costume is like a few grands.

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BurmesePenguin
11/02/23 10:44:45 AM
#49:


I was expecting Japanman

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nocturnal_traveler
11/02/23 11:01:44 AM
#50:


If I was the judge I'd give him a light sentence. The shame and embarrassment is already a pretty hefty punishment.

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