Current Events > Guy on Tinder gets 3 matches out of 5,000 swipes, no dates.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Aeriis is right. I have seen it happen. Also, Aeriis is a woman and I am telling you that most women view lack of friends as a red flag. It doesn't matter what you think; they think it.

Friendships form naturally depending on the circumstance, the situation, and how both people value each other.

Time is an inherent value based mechanic that changes as you get into the real world, and work and manage that between personal enjoyment and co.

Not having any friends just means you're independent, or dont put much value into forming relationships with people you have no interest in. It doesn't make them any worse because
A. People learn how relationships are starting from a young age.
B. Your current status on friends has no affect on how you'd treat other people you meet or want to have a potential relationship with.

This isn't really a talking point because multiple people have traumatic instances that change their lives or affect how they deal with people. Some people are beaten when they are kids, and that trauma affects them. Some people get things stolen from them.

If you're in an actual relationship with someone, then that requires the realization that you have to ultimately work with them if you want them to be for the better. The idea of going to counseling or therapy before trying to enter the dating world is really bad advice because
A. You dont get to decide how/when people address their traumatic experiences
B. Broken People in relationships exist all the time.

I'll just make you some tea.

Another red flag is the way you are lashing out to all of this information people are giving you. Including women. Maybe try something new and reflect on the new information instead of fighting tooth and nail over your views (that have clearly not given you the outcome you desire).

Right, but they form because of those connections. If you aren't willing to form connections with people around shared interests or experiences, then it seems like the only reason you'd form any kind of connection in a relationship is purely for an ulterior motive like sex or something.

That's not really being independent. At best, that's being asocial but more likely it's being emotionally closed off. Neither are very appealing to people looking for a relationship. And your current status of friends absolutely affects how you'd treat a potential partner. If you have no other friends, that partner would either be your only emotional attachment so you get "clingy" or you fail to maintain the relationship and eventually distance yourself like with any other former friends.

No, hence why I said it was a suggestion. And broken people being in a relationship doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship.

This isn't a friend or gender thing. Many people stay in relationships that are often toxic. You know whats also viewed as a red flag in a relationship?

Disrespecting your partner or insulting them constantly.

Lying to your partner

Cheating or flirting with others

Emotional distance

If you're going to list "lack of friends" then be sure to list other problems that affect relationships such
toxicity, flirting with others, compulsive lying, not giving them any attention at all etc

Coffee would be better.

I defend my views and what I value tooth and nail.

Connections form due a plethora of reasons. Right day at the right time. How a conversation flows. How someone eventually values the other person. Common interests.

For the sex part, it's completely fine to have sex. Where did you get this idea that having sex is an inherent bad thing?

If you do things yourself, rely on yourself, and dont depend or put too much dependent on others, then thats literally being independent.

Current status of friends doesn't really affect your potential partner. Because multiple people have reasons why they may have a close circle or no friends at all. Which include
A. Moving
B. Having traumatic experiences
C. Busy with other things that they value

If you have no other friends, that effects nothing on how you look at your partner. Everyone deals with their emotions in different ways. When people go on dates, the first question isn't "do you have any friends" the focus is on what they do for work, how they spend their time, the flow of the conversation, attraction, and more. You cite "clinginess" but fail to realize that clinginess happens with a lot of people , regardless of them having current or past relationships.

Not every relationship is perfect and people go through life with trauma and experiences that shape them to who they are. News at 11.

I used to drink coffee in the mornings but I went back to being a tea drinker.

Do you like medium or dark roast, black, cream and sugar?

I prefer medium or dark roast. Black.

I actually made Pumpkin Spice flavored coffee today. Does that make me lame?

relationships for many people start off with them meeting on a constant basis. Or seeing each other too often/more than they should.

You are confusing being clingy with the honeymoon phase of a relationship.

They are not the same thing.

All the people saying lack of friends is a red flag are wrong. Maybe if the person is awkward or strange, or trying to hook up with some overly extroverted person, but that has never ruined or hindered my chances with potential dates... in fact, that's probably what got me noticed to begin with. Ultimately, what my partners saw in me was dedication, commitment, drive, and toughness, and what got them to fall in love with me was how I expressed myself (this trait alone did it for me, usually), my honesty, my ambition, and my sincerity. I'm cordial and nice to others, but I've no interest in being friends with people as most people are traitorous and selfish, and will betray you no matter how much you've done for them.

Friendship and romance are two completely different relationships. "Friends" come and go for me, but romantic partners have always stuck with me for years. In the past 20 years, I've only been single once, and have only had 3 relationships, my current going on 12 years now... and I have 0 friends, so no, it's not a "red flag" if someone doesn't have any friends.

You are an outlier. The majority of women say it is a red flag. That is a fact.

Also, your feelings about potential friendships is wrong. I have never been betrayed by my many friends. Sorry you have had shitty examples otherwise.

The concept of "clingy" is interpretation based and told from one side of the story, doesn't take into account the other side to bring out proper context as to whether he/she is.

I can text someone several times a day and that would be considered "Clingy" to someone not into me while to another person, they may not mind or feel it's the same.

Some relationships or "dating" start from one side being really into someone, or both people being really into each other to where they are constantly texting.

1. A relationship is not dating. A relationship is a full official thing between a Girl friend and boyfriend, or boyfriend and boyfriend. Vice Versa. Two people who have been in a 4 year relationship is different from two people who have been dating for a few weeks or a month
2. In dating, it is not uncommon for someone to begin to worry if the other person hasn't texted in 3-4 days, let alone a week
3. If someone is saying that..then gee I dunno? Maybe.. have a proper adult conversation that involves talking about the problems noticed and hopefully come to a resolution to resolve it? Like what adults in the real world do?

I think the confusion here is that its not necessarily that you don't have an active social life with friends that make it a red flag, its the lack of a capacity to make friends.

Some of my friends I haven't seen in like 2 or 3 years because of life circumstances but they are still my friends and I am still capable of socializing and developing meaningful relationships.

1. A relationship is not dating. A relationship is a full official thing between a Girl friend and boyfriend, or boyfriend and boyfriend. Vice Versa. Two people who have been in a 4 year relationship is different from two people who have been dating for a few weeks or a month
2. In dating, it is not uncommon for someone to begin to worry if the other person hasn't texted in 3-4 days, let alone a week
3. If someone is saying that..then gee I dunno? Maybe.. have proper adult conversation that involves talking about problems? Like what adults in the real world do?

I think there's a pretty important distinction between saying "I haven't seem my friends in a while because we're all busy adults" and "I don't have friends and I don't want them. People suck."

So this had absolutely nothibg to do with what she said. Can you follow a conversation?

most people don't meet partners on dating apps and yet most people end up in longterm relationships regardless

People do. It usually results in them leaving the clingy individual. It's not our job to play mother to a person who lacks the maturity to be able to handle a woman who doesn't revolve their entire life around the guy in question. You're talking about "behaving like an adult" and "speaking like one" to a hypothetical scenario that literally involves the hypothetical party behaving like a baby.

LiberalAgenda8 - please tell us your relationship history and current status. You are arguing with multiple people who have a lot of experience and are currently in healthy long term relationships.