Board 8 > Everything sucks.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Dont know what to do about anything and I have no idea why i even got out of bed today.

What's wrong? What happened?

No, everything doesn't suck. I mean, sure, 87% of it sucks, but you have to look for that 13% that doesn't. Even if it's something as simple as Final Fantasy being awesome, your favorite team having a winning season, Mafia being fun... the list goes on.

Look for those things. Treat yourself to your favorite meal at your favorite restaurant. There are reasons for you to be here.

Sorry to get into pep talk mode, but I say all this as someone in a rut himself. And I'm trying to change that.

Summerslam and Gear 5 in One Piece both tonight it's going to be a great night, but I'm sorry you're having a rough time.

SHINE_GET_64 posted...

Summerslam

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XNGfpRrz_4

Complicated.

Feel very minimalized.

Friendships full of years of bad and feel broken and i dont know how to deal with them.

All my outlets i used to have just to feel like I really belonged somewhere are either gone or empty.

Board 8 is one of the last weird consistent things I have but it is adjacent to complicated things that i dont know how to talk about.

Then I have issues spending money(not with having money but the act of spending makes me uncomfortable) and i just wanted to escape to a theme park for the day but didn't have enough gas and just...i dont have work for a few days and thats usually my justification for being able to spend on my car. Completely irrational but gets worse when I'm not feeling great.

Hey man. Sorry that things are hard. Pretty clear that you are in some pain.

people will tell you that it all doesnt suck or that its gonna get better. Youve got every right to feel that it all sucks and that it wont get better. I hope it does. Wouldnt be surprised it does. But it may not. Im sorry if that ends up being the case. Hope you can sleep well tonight

Yeah been feeling pretty much like this lately too.

You should listen to some music:
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/80523457

Whenever i feel like everything sucks, i at least try to be good to myself. Unplug from the internet, go for a walk and get some fresh air, eat some food, do something i enjoy. You gotta be patient with yourself and love yourself homie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cQgQIMlwWw&ab_channel=MarcDonis

(sorry)

Everything may suck, but there will always be another day.

Another opportunity to get what you want, for pleasant surprises or just to have a nice day.

So it's ok if you are feeling bad now. You don't have to be happy every day. Go eat something nice and do something you enjoy and wait for the next day.

UltimaterializerX posted...

I wasnt joking with post 7, btw. It gets better doesnt usually sound great to hear when youre depressed, but it really is the truth.

Life is cyclical. It gets better, but then gets worse again. And then it gets better again.

I tried the alternative when I had a medication dosage that numbed me. I was bored all the time. I felt like there was no enjoyment at all in my life. I lowered my dose and felt better. And now I'm experimenting again... sigh...

I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time, but I hope you end today believing tomorrow will be better, because it often is.

I'd like to think things get better but its hard to look around and not feel like everyone has become better off without me.

Leafeon13N posted...

I'd like to think things get better but its hard to look around and not feel like everyone has become better off without me.

If that's true, fuck them. Find some real friends. People who are better because of you. Quality over quantity.

Maybe you need to leave LA. I know you can be a bit rough around the edges, but you mean well and you're a good guy. You need to find people who can see that, and that may be in a different place. I know the struggle, trust me.

BlueCrystalTear posted...

If that's true, fuck them. Find some real friends. People who are better because of you. Quality over quantity.

Ugh. I have had quality. I like quality. I get lost in larger groups.

But I don't have the quantity to pull quality from anymore and all my quality has either gone distant, stabbed me enough that I don't know how to deal with them, or just has found more quality elsewhere.

So I get days like today where I've been feeling down already and I wake up and my options are "well I guess we are on our own today" when I really want anything but.

BlueCrystalTear posted...

If that's true, fuck them. Find some real friends. People who are better because of you.

Also I hate the nail on the head last part. I know all the good friends I've ever had are better because of me. That makes it all suck sometimes. I appreciate the fuck out of those attachments.

Anyway I need to vent.

So I had friend X. Friend X was good, but friend X had friends D E F. I didn't really know D E F well, but D E F always seemed to have knives and they somehow always had them pointed at me. It was weird. At a certain point I wouldn't have expected knives from friends of X because you know, friend. Then one day friend X accidentally stabs me in the back. Not intentional, but it was completely blindsided and then instead of calling an ambulance or something friend X just leaves me to rot.

With plenty of time to dwell on it, you start thinking less of friend X. And then when you look back on how D E F wanted to stab you, then realize friend X also had friend D G H that also wanted to stab you. That maybe there was some sort of correlation with friend X. Maybe he wasn't giving the knives, or ordering them to stab, but somewhere he was giving some indication that yeah, stabbing me was fine, maybe even deserved. I don't know, I don't pretend to know what was going on.

But I also have friend Y, who has their friend Z.

At some point X and Y stabbed the fuck out of each other. X also stabbed Z. Since I was friends with Z I am basically associated by Z as also having stabbed them. After X stabbed me, Y actually ended up picking up my corpse and was still friends with zombie me even though I was definitely a good bit broken after all the stabbing.

So I used to have friend X and Y but friend X vanished out after accidentally stabbing me with a big knife in the back. Now, back it up a bit. I also used to have friend group X and friend group Y. They intermingled a bit but at the time it was nice. Without X there wasn't much X group anymore, but occasionally still had some of X mingle with Y. Similar with group Y and Z, except they mingle a bit except because of friend X I am not part of anything with Z, and like group X if there is no friend Y there isn't really much of a group Y.

My problem is that as time goes by Z grabs more of Y time. I don't blame them. Group Y is smaller, less consistent, etc. But more time from Y To Z and with X gone leaves me this broken zombie corpse in the middle thinking about how I fucked everything up. And rather than getting up and fixing it, patching up the stab wounds, all I know how to do is look at the holes and be like "Yeah, all that shit hurt". Some fresh wounds being added while I wasn't prepared didn't help either.

Also I make it worse because if I start thinking about it too much I'm obviously hurt a good bit by all of this.

I don't know exactly how to handle X when they pop back up. There was a lot of stabbing. Y gets to deal with me at my shittiest and that isn't fair either.

And then theres a whole bunch of friends in the middle confused of all the shit and I don't know how to talk about anything without being vague or sometimes just not talking at all because I don't know what to say.

And yeah, a lot of this stuff isn't exactly new. But we're all older and everyone is busy and I used to have a whole bunch of smaller or different groups that I could at least mingle with. Maybe I wasn't as close to anyone there, still plenty of people I'd put in a friend column around, but they just aren't really there anymore. Its not really anyone's fault here. But I definitely miss the times years ago where at any moment there were multiple places to turn to for a distraction at least.

Board 8 and the discord are really the few places I have for a quick distraction, but thats a much broader group and always very very public.(I still very much appreciate all of you being around)

https://youtu.be/ALHybzqaWwg?t=34

Sometimes, everything does suck. It's not a bad day, it's maybe not even a series of bad days. Sometimes it's actually a series of days that individually aren't bad, but they also aren't great, and you don't foresee a change in that pattern. That's what really got to me at my lows... I felt like I was in a holding pattern of "this is the future" and it really brought me down. A day at an amusement park might revitalize you short term, but it's costly, it wears off, and it obviously can't be something you think of as your goal.

What helped me was to come up with a plan. I don't even know for sure if I can execute it. I don't even know if I need ot execute it. What I needed was a plan on how to move forward, something to work towards, something that makes me happy(?) to want to work toward.

I have just barely made my way to this point, but I feel better than I have for most of my life. Make a plan. Set a goal. Give yourself a thing to work on that you would like to achieve, even if it seems like it is out of reach for you. If you have wanted to do it in the past and other have told you that you can't, fuck them. You can. Those people are like crabs in a bucket. They like to drag others back down to their level if they see someone doing even a little better.

The truth is, as far as my life experience has taught me, having a goal puts you in the best place you can be emotionally. Achieving it can give you a high, but it wears off. You will have to find a new goal to achieve. But the biggest thing that keeps you from creating goals that you could achieve, let alone perusing them, are other people telling you that you can't.

Other people can be like crabs in a bucket. They'd rather pull you down than see you succeed when they can't. Analyze your personal relationships and find the people who tell you that you can't live the life you want to live, the people who tell you that you can't be happy. Then ask yourself, is it worth it to you to remain unhappy to prove them right?

Just make a plan to put yourself on the road to happiness, no matter how unlikely it is. The worst you could do is fail, and nothing will be different. The most likely thing, though, is you feel better just for trying. Even if you want to do nothing, like you're Peter from Office Space, that's a goal you could work towards and even achieve easier than you think you could. The first step is to eliminate the pattern you've made for yourself that has created personal stagnation.

Deleted posts you never saw may be one of the most torturous things of all.

I'm sorry I hurt you, and I dont know if you'll ever really be ready to talk again tbh

kind of sucks but I get a 'my bad' is pretty hollow.

Sorry you're going through all of this.

Sending virtual hugs your way my dude

It's okay to not be okay
but I hope you'll be okay soon.

I don't know the details of your situation but friendships can be complicated, in that I just mean I don't think you should place the blame of a friendship being strained just on yourself.

Just from the post you gave a broad overview it's clear that there are several different groups at play with their own inner working politics which can make it all the more complicated, especially taking into account how long you have known some of these people.

Sorry you're going through all of this and I hope you're able to not place the blame solely on yourself, friendships are multi sided affairs.
Sometimes when they fall or falter it isn't either parties fault.

Why does anyone even pick on someone else on this website, anyway?

This site's been irrelevant since the 2013 Character Battle anyway.

I still consider you a friend red even though we haven't interacted a whole lot recently.

I assure you that you are not the only person who feels these feelings, and things will get better, at least somewhat.

I speak from personal experiance from my pre-B8 days, and though it was not quite the same kind of betrayal as you detailed, I think I can understand how you are feeling right about now.

Sorry, I'm not really good at these kind of comforting things, but know I'm always there if you need me.

Peace, love and eevees

PrinceKaro posted...

I still consider you a friend red even though we haven't interacted a whole lot recently.

Damn we really need some sort of save my or whatever where we can pair up to save some cute critters or something. Those were definitely some days.

Leafeon13N posted...

Dont know what to do about anything and I have no idea why i even got out of bed today.

Yep I've been feeling like this pretty much every day for the last......month and a half. life is bullshit.