Board 8 > You see a sign saying "BEWARE OF THE DARGON" [sic] [CYOA]

(+) Yeah! (+)

(FYI: There will be no updates until Sunday jsyk.)

"The entourage is not to combat you! This is Sienna here, Mistress of the Meat!"
Sienna smacks you side of the head. Not too forcefully, but enough to feel it. "Not appropriate."
"Hey, don't hit me," you reply. "That came out SO wrong. I'm sorry."
"It's okay, we're even."
You look down the hole and... nothing is there.
"Are you sure there was a DARGON here?" Sienna asks.
"Could be out hunting," you theorize.
"Then why would he need the meat?"
"Good point." You recognize how sharp she is. She's someone you want on your good side.
"Doth thou thinketh... wait, whoops, do thy think you were hallucinating?" Glenda asks.
"No. I remember being inside that thing. It wasn't very big, and yet its interior was labyrinthine. I was disoriented after it regurgitated me, maybe I was wrong about how big it was."
"How does something as big as a DARGON fit into this hole, anyway?" Sienna asks.
"Magic? They can use magic, right?" you ask.
"Yeah. Do you think this thing can change size?" Glenda inquires.
"As good a theory as any." Sienna shrugs.

Glenda is too low-level to know Dimension Door, and Sienna's Misty Step isn't going to help given how deep the hole is, so going down for spelunking probably isn't a good idea.
Just as you've thought all this out, you notice some bushes rustling. You see three pairs of green ears poke out.
"Aha!" You declare. "Roll for initiative. And be sure to not bash in their heads, for we need their brains for the bounty."
"The what?" Sienna asks.
"We took a Monster Hunter bounty to help pay your armor guy," Glenda asks. "Some nut wants three Goblin brains. Who knows what that's for..."
"It's better not to think about it. I'll help."

A. Attack aggressively
B. Wait and see what happens
C. Throw a little meat out as bait
D. Focus on defense

A

A

A

B

I wrote notes to myself for what the above all were for when I got back:

A: You kill one. Fast.
B: The goblins seize the meat and you look like a moron
C: The goblins start fighting each other over the free meal
D: Nothing happens

You charge at the goblins and immediately puncture one's throat with your sword. It dies immediately.
Another one, incensed by this, charges at you, only to be blocked by Sienna, who catches it by surprise and causes it to stumble. She decapitates it without hesitation like a total boss.
"Suddenly I'm glad to have a Paladin here," you state. "Thanks."
"You're welcome."
Glenda is torturing the last with a Firebolt. Sienna nonchalantly walks over and impales it on her longsword, killing it instantly.
Note to self: Do NOT fuck with Sienna. Ever.
"How do we dissect the brains?" Glenda asks.
"I don't know, never done that before," Sienna replies.

Do you offer a suggestion?
A. Chop off the top of the heads and pry the brains out with a sword
B. Dig in via the back of the head with the tip of a blade
C. MAGIC!
D. No

D

Just deliver the heads!

D

What are we doctors

C

B

(Sorry for the wait... don't want to talk about it, sorry. Gonna go with D.)

"I haven't the faintest idea, either," you say. "Do you think the client is capable of extracting the brains undamaged?"
"Possible," Sienna theorizes. "But I'm not sure if they'll like us pawning off that work on them. What does it say in the quest description?"
You re-read the posting: "Thou shalt delivereth three fully intact goblin brains to [address] for experiment. I shalt payeth 50 gold."
"Sounds like we shouldn't do anything too risky with them if we don't have to."
"Right," Glenda adds. "How many more goblins doth we need to kill to get three good brains?"
"Who knows?" You realize how bizarre this conversation is and look to the hole...

A. Take the brains to the address, try for the DARGON later
B. Call to the DARGON again now that you've dealt with the pests
C. Sacrifice a goblin head into the hole to see if the DARGON reacts
D. Violate a major rule of small parties and split up

a

A

A

Realizing that you should probably come back later since the DARGON isn't home, you take the goblin heads to the address, taking the meat with you... hopefully it won't smell by the end of the day. The address turns out to be an apartment in a lower middle class area in an aging building.
You knock on the door.

Who answers? (you will have a chance to recruit whoever it is; it hinges on how the next few responses go)
A. A loony older woman
B. A clean-cut twenty-something guy
C. A cliche mad scientist
D. A supermodel

P.S. I have written down what class each of these are (none are Fighter, Paladin, or Sorceress) and their intended use of the brains (which you may or may not find out btw).

D

D

Sure

c

C

C

I'll... comment later.

A mad scientist answers the door and looks at you, each holding a goblin head.
"And you didn't take the brains out WHY?" he asks pointedly.
"We didn't want to ruin them, and thought whoever posted the request would-"
"LIKE HELL I WOULD!" the scientist replies. "I wouldn't have posted the request if I could! You are NOT getting paid!"
SLAM!
"Well, that went well," Glenda comments.
"What now?" Sienna asks.
A. Try to remove the brains to get your 50 gold
B. Leave the heads at his door
C. Take the heads to feed the DARGON (along with the meat)
D. Knock again to try to reason with the guy

B

D, by force if necessary

D

D

A

You knock again.
"Go away," he scoffs from inside. "Now."

What do you say?
A. Say you don't need the gold, but you'll dissect the brains if he joins you in searching for the DARGON
B. Ask for his assistance in brain-dissecting
C. Ask if there's another problem you can sort out for him
D. Threaten to force your way in
E. Nothing, just do what he says and leave

A

A

A

A = hell say youre being ridiculous, he works alone, and hell threaten to call the cops
B = he will provide you a tool designed to peel away skin
C = he will go on a rant accosting you for thinking hes crazy, thus proving that he is
D = he will call the police immediately
E = you leave

"Hey, we don't need the gold, but we'll dissect the brains for you if you join us in helping us search for-"
"Silence!" he shouts from the other side. "And stop being ridiculous!"
"In what way are we being ridiculous?" Glenda shouts.
"I work alone. You are to give me the three brains, dissected, for 50 gold. Dissect them now, give them to me, and get lost. If you do not, I will be notifying the police."
Sienna tugs your arm. "Yeah, I don't think he's playing a character. I say do what he says."

What about you?
A. Agree with Sienna and dissect the brains as instructed, making no fuss
B. Throw the heads by the door and leave
C. Try to negotiate with him some more
D. Try to break the door down

D

A

(stupid same post error)

A

B

This guy sucks

D

Anyone wanna change their vote, or do I let a coin toss decide between A and D? For this one I really feel like I should ask first...

A

Thanks, 5tar! (see below for details)

"Yeah, you're right," you concede to Sienna. For whatever reason, this feels almost like a relief. Something about your intuition just tells you that this was the right call.
The three of you get to work using what weapons you have at dissecting the brains. The first one, the one where the head has the most injuries... did not go all that well; the brain is half-smushed. You have no idea when this happened but you figure you won't be getting paid for it.
The next two, however disgusting the process was, you manage to get out with relative ease. You knock on the guy's door.
"I thought I said go away!" he calls.
"We have the brains this time. We took care of that in the parking lot."
"Ehh?" he seems intrigued. It takes him a few moments, but he opens the door, glasses tinted forward. He notes immediately that the one you're holding looks marvelous and fresh, and he states how it looks marvelous and fresh.
"See? We managed to do it," Sienna adds, giving him a second brain.
"Though this one..." Glenda notions to the one she's holding.
"This one won't do, no, no, no," the scientist says. "It will not have enough energy to fuel my creations."
"Artificer?" Sienna asks.
"Oh yes, yes, yes," he says. You note how his mood is suddenly more agreeable and he seems to repeat "yes" and "no." He continues: "I make things with what I have, but I needed BRAINS for this!"
You suddenly have a tinge of regret, an urge you can't seem to fight.
"I will pay 30 gold for this two specimens. You can throw the other one away."
Knowing how this guy is, you don't want to anger him again, so you accept his offer and he pays you. You now need 95 gold to purchase the armor.
"Thank you, I do think two will be enough. The third was meant as a spare nonetheless and I will post again if need be. Goodbye." He shuts the door.
~~~
So, off-story for a second. You guys picked by far the worst option. The likelihood of him joining was extremely low and required specific inputs, solely due to his hermit scientist archetype. I was very disappointed when the supermodel Druid did not win, because she's have joined instantly, without any inputs at all. Here's what the options were:

Loony older woman = Warlock (using the brains as sacrifices to power spells) [Recruitment = Medium]
Clean-cut 25 y/o guy = Bard (using the brains out of a very weird fetish) [Recruitment = Easy]
Mad scientist = Artificer (using the brains for craft items) [Recruitment = Hard]
Supermodel = Druid (brains are bait for the DARGON youre after, to learn that transformation) [Recruitment = Instant]

Also please note why I refused to flip a coin for this last one...

A = you get 30 gold since one of the brains ends up damaged
B = you get no gold, but you do get away
C = he will notify the police
D = Greg dies via elaborate booby trap

If you'd have gone with D, you'd have been able to choose between continuing as Sienna (since Glenda would be stricken with grief) or going back to the door knock. But you're alive so we don't need to worry about that! However, you failed to recruit the scientist, and that stands regardless. Nobody said recruiting was going to be easy.

Now, I'm not a dick, so the 30 gold you got stands too, but you have choices now for where the story goes:
A. Return to the DARGON's hole with the meat and the last goblin brain
B. Accept a Hitman or Escort request (specify which)
C. Time-warp back to the recruitment, retcon the mad scientist, and have the supermodel answer the door instead

C

But in the spirit of living with our choices

B. Escort

B. Hitman

Okay, I haven't had free time and energy coincide in the last few days. Sorry! Let's decide it this way:

Buuut I think I'll just make it pretty simple:
A. The Escort request to help a Druid learn a DARGON transformation (pays 75 gold for work you've already done)
B. An Escort request to help protect some cargo being transported through a valley (pay is 30 gold)
C. There's a Hitman target that pays 150 gold... that's a LOT! It must be risky.

A

C

A

C

C

You look into the posting on the board and...
Oh dear.
"Give me that," Sienna says forcibly.
What you hear next is inexplicable.
"Who the FUCK would do that?" Sienna exclaims aloud. "I've been neutral good this whole damn time!"
"Calm down ," Glenda says. "Maybe we can go talk it out?"
"Why would I do that? This person wants me to reset my character, probably out of jealousy! No, the plan is simple: We lure that fucker into the open, kill THEM, then take all their money from their body."
You wish you could see her face right about now, but she's incensed, armored, and... definitely someone who you want on your good side. You also recall you're not wearing any armor right now, so...

A. Attack her
B. Go forth with her plan

B