Board 8 > You see a sign saying "BEWARE OF THE DARGON" [sic] [CYOA]

(+) Yeah! (+)

C

You are Greg Hutchinson, a 44 y/o man with a beer belly and weight struggles.

Now that we have settled on who you are...
A. Call the plumber to look at the drain
B. Go to the doctor to see if there's any health issues
C. Rob the butcher shop for the DARGON
D. Train for the hunt
E. Call your girlfriend

B

Gotta stay on top of this stuff

E

C

D

C

C

E

Gonna combine the two most popular!

You call your girlfriend up. You tell her what transpired if she'll be your getaway driver for robbing the butcher shop. She thinks you're nuts and must be dreaming. You ask again if she'll help you. She says sure, but you should probably rethink stealing meat.

She shows up to pick you up. Your girlfriend is...
A. Aurora "Rori" Smart, an adventurous supermodel driving a really fast Lamborghini
B. Meg Hanson, a bespectacled computer programmer driving a Toyota Corolla
C. Hasami Konichi, an executive secretary driving a Lexus
D. Glenda Boykin, a woman about your age who thinks she's a half-elf sorceress driving a wagon cart

There is no way we have a girlfriend who is anyone besides D

A

B

A

B

Switch to B if D ain't happening

D

D

Comedy option, gotcha. (I'm happy you guys recognized C was the "boring option" - A was the sexy option and B was a fun option) (Also sorry for the wait, was trying to make sure I had Glenda's character down the right way - future updates won't be this slow now that I have her figured out!)

Glenda shows up in her horse-drawn wagon. Great, you think you yourself. She could've brought the Buick, but nope. She's lost in fantasies of her own.

"You do realize I'm not joking," you say.
"Well, if that DARGON is real, why don't we go fight it?"
"I mean, it's expecting me to come with meat. Dead meat."
"So? You and me can take it. I have Darkvision. I can cast a Fireball. And Counterspell anything it sends my way."
"Can you speak Darconic?"
"No. I know Abyssal though." She's certainly serious.
"Then how will we negotiate with it?" you ask.
"We can find somebody. Or we could just go kill it. Or we can do what we planned. Your call."

You recognize that you are a Fighter, and she is a Sorceress. You are both level 5. Glenda just informed you of the only two third-level spells she knows (alongside the obvious in Detect Magic, Magic Missile, and Invisibility, plus two more you guys will choose).
A. Go rob the butcher shop as planned
B. Try to recruit a Cleric or Paladin who speaks Darconic
C. Fight the DARGON, just the two of you

A

We have invisible so this will be easier now

B

B with the caveat that neither of these people have any magic or special abilities at all and it's all larping

A

A

masterplum posted...

with the caveat that neither of these people have any magic or special abilities at all and it's all larping

A

B

Actually, just the other day I did the (hilarious) post-apocalyptic LARPing mission in Saints Row 2022. Gonna use that as a baseline. (Man, would I have loved to do that IRL, but sadly we never got enough interest, then COVID hit... don't think trying again is in the cards)

(Sorry I got distracted btw)

After you retrieve your sword and armor, the two of you arrive at the butcher shop. You're happy this place still exists (AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ours closed in October) and you shouldn't have any problems robbing it.
"This shop looketh like an easy place to obtain materials."
"How much doth we need?"
"We needeth an entire cow worth."
"And how doth you suggest we carry?"
"We have your chariot. How else?"
"And on which side doth I park?"

A. Go in the front way to rob the butcher directly
B. Sneak in the back way and try to rob the meat cooler

A

A

A

B

Sorry for the wait - I had a rough week and am finally back on the upswing. Nothing some cat nuzzles, Culver's, mall massage chairs, good movies, and murderin' in Santo Ileso can't solve!

Before we go forward, please read the following (I would not have thought of this two days ago):
https://www.dndbeyond.com/spells/charm-person

Do you want Glenda to know this spell? (remember: You only have two left to teach her)
Y / N

Y

N

N

Y

Anyone wanna be a tiebreaker, or do you want me to roll for it in true D&D fashion?

Roll for it

Y

Before the tiebreaking vote, I did roll for it like so:

Odds = Yes
Evens = No
(based on letters in the word)

Generating it online so I can show you....
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/1/9/AAR0ZFAAEGVX.jpg

So she would know Charm Person either way!

"Park near the entrance. I shall use Charm Person on the clerk!" Glenda suggests.
"Doth thou think the clerk can help us? Or doth thou think the butcher?"

You see that the clerk is a scruffy-looking middle-aged man and the butcher on duty is a pretty college-age girl with her hair in a tight bun held up by a visor... recall that Charm Person looks for a WIS save. (I have written down the values)
A. Have Glenda attempt to charm the clerk into being DARGON food
B. Have her charm the butcher into giving up everything in the meat cooler
C. Attempt to negotiate with the butcher before using up a spell slot
D. Start things the old-fashioned way: By trying to hold up the clerk

D

D

D

C

(sorry, thought I posted something, looks like it got wiped from the posting window, whoops!)

The two of you storm in, you with your sword, Glenda with her spells at the ready.
"Doth thou hast access to thine meat cooler? We are here to feed the DARGON and you WILL help us!" you open with.
The clerk looks at the two of you incredulously.
Glenda cuts in: "He means we need thee to let us take thine meat, to feed this DARGON who would eat us otherwise."
The clerk blinks a few times. He checks his pockets. He looks around for something.
"What art thou searching for?"
"Am I high or something? Or are you? I can't decide."
"What doth thou mean?" you ask
He shakes his head. "Are you sure you're okay? I know a good therapist."
"What doth thine talk about? Thou worketh for the butcher over yonder, don't thee?" Glenda points to the young woman in the visor.
"That's the butcher's daughter. She's helping out to pay her way through college."
"What est thine college?" you ask.
"Okay, what are you smoking? I want some." He seems serious.
"I shall tell you if thine giveth me the keys to the meat cooler."
"Uh, no. I'll get fired for that. Hello? And what's with the dragon or... DARGON... and... the armor? Did you get lost on your way to a LARP or something?"

This is getting nowhere...
A. Admit that, yes, you're LARPing, and that the DARGON thing is just an excuse for you to eat infinite bacon
B. Admit that, yes, you're LARPing, but the DARGON is very real, and you really do need to feed it or you'll be eaten
C. Ask Glenda to use Charm Person on him
D. Change strategies to negotiating with the butcher's daughter

E. Kill 'em both, steal the meat.

But I guess C

D

A

B