Board 8 > You see a sign saying "BEWARE OF THE DARGON" [sic] [CYOA]

(+) Yeah! (+)

A

B

Eh, actually sure change to B

ChichiriMuyo posted...

E. Kill 'em both, steal the meat.

Good luck taking on a dozen armed cops with just a rusty sword. That's why this wasn't an option. I don't want you to get a GAME OVER so soon.

"Very well." You sheathe your sword. "We are indeed LARPing. However... the DARGON of which I speak is very real, and also very hungry. Do you know what DARGONs eat?"
"Um... no?" he replies.
The butcher's daughter has overheard this by now and comes over. "Why didn't you come ask me?" she asks.
"Well..."
"You've got a flair for the dramatic, and that's what makes a good LARPer. You look like you're in need of some new armor, though."
Glenda looks curious. "Wait, do you LARP?"
"I've been at Ren Faire numerous times. I'm a Paladin, name's Sienna."
Holy shit, you think. Whoops.
You nod. "I'm Greg and this is Glenda. Do you speak Darconic?"
"No. Just Abyssal." Sienna nods her head. "I do have some cool armor, though. Real stuff. Where'd you even get that rusty old thing?"
"Inside the DARGON."
"Yeah, get out of that, you're... gonna make yourself sick. Where is this DARGON?"
"A hole in the woods at the State Park."
"I'll gather the meat that's expiring in the next two days. We probably won't sell it all anyway, and we usually go throw it out for predators anyway. It'll be pretty cheap, like $50 for I'd estimate 50 pounds worth."
A dollar a pound is a good deal, so you accept. Glenda has the money, so it's all good. You agree with Sienna to meet there in the morning. She also lets you know of a smith who can make you some better armor, though of course that's going to take a couple months.
You doff your armor and throw it in the dumpster.

What do you do for the rest of the night?
A. Go to the emergency room now that urgent care is closed
B. Go shower again... alone
C. Shower again... this time with Glenda
D. Contact the blacksmith Sienna informed you of

D

D

D

Whoops, just realized that I never updated this. Sorry... I've had a REALLY rough past week again. I know I keep making these excuses but I'd rather not elaborate.
~~
Sienna's blacksmith has as much of a British-sounding name as you can imagine: William Gladstone. He must be glad he's stoned, you figure, but you call him up.
"Hello?" the voice says; through the tinny it's hard to tell, but you think he's from somewhere by Manchester or Liverpool. I mean, you know your British accents after a Doctor Who curiosity binge, so there's that.
"Verily! It doth nice to meet thee."
"Do you have to speak like that?" He doesn't seem amused.
"Why doth thou not?"
"I don't feel like getting into character when I'm outside the LARP."
"Oh."
"You getting into character makes me know what you want. What did you want to order?"

Recall you threw your gross, DARGON-saliva covered armor into the trash, but you still have your sword...
A. Some fresh armor
B. A silver sword
C. A shield
D. Light armor for Glenda

(FOR THIS QUESTION, you may choose as many or as few as you desire!)

A, B, and D

But A and D are the big ones to me.

C and D

All of the above

D

D wins, but for a second item.... my coin says A.

"Two sets of armor," you state. "One medium, for a fighter. One light, for a mage."
"That's gonna be 300 gold. You got that kind of money?"
You realize you only have accumulated 100 gold. Glenda just used most of her dollars on the meat, but still has 50 gold left. (NOTE: Gold = LARP currency; dollars = real world currency)

What do you do?
A. Negotiate with him
B. Look into jobs (Specify: Escort [protect cargo from bandits and goblins; pay is average], Hitman [dangerous, but highly profitable], Monster Hunter [involves RNG and usually doesn't pay well], or Craftsman [assemble sets of armor for this guy until he says you've paid your debt])
C. Plan to rob the LARP general store (this probably won't go well)

A

A

C

B. Hitman: Blood Money

A

Johnbobb posted...

B. Hitman: Blood Money

This is a medieval LARP. Choosing Hitman means you'll be performing an assassination on a character with a bounty on their head, forcing that player to create a new one at level 1. Please note that if they kill you first, YOU will be forced to do that instead. And please note that some people, as will be determined randomly, may get actually violent from having to reset their character sheet.

But A it is! Smart first choice.

"What's the lowest you can do for both?" you ask.
"I said 300, that's my price. 200 for the fighter armor, 100 for the mage armor."
You realize you can't ask him to give you a buy one, get one free here. "How about 250?" you ask.
"290," he replies.
"260?" you ask.
"We both know exactly where this is going. 275, final offer."
"Deal."

You still need 125 more gold. But, hey, that's 25 less.
A. Look for a Hitman contract (gold ranges from 100 to 1000; usually in the 150-250 range)
B. Do an Escort mission (usually pays 50 gold, 100 if particularly dangerous)
C. Monster Hunter (typically 25 to 50 gold, but may pay as much as 500 if asked for a rare item drop)
D. Offer to help him with building armor until your debt is paid
E. Rob the general store

C

A

E

C we should practice fighting jic

A

C

You check the listing for Monster Hunter gigs. The one that catches your eye is "DARGON scale wanted; offering 500 gold." You understand this is an extremely rare item. You know a DARGON, but you find yourself in a conundrum here: You need the scale to buy the armor you need to fight the thing that has the scale. You decide you'll get back to that later.

You DO find a 50 gold posting for three, uh, goblin brains. You don't wanna know why somebody needs that, but goblins shouldn't be too hard to dispatch. The hard part would be dissecting their skulls.

The second listing, for 25 gold, is for a kobold tail. This should require virtually no effort unless you get into a fight with a horde of several of those lizard men. Again, you don't wanna know why you need the tail. The fewer questions, the better.

Which one do you take?
A. Goblin brains
B. Kobold tail
C. Fuck it, we're going for the DARGON scale with Sienna (you figure this is probably a death wish)

A

a

A

You accept the job. Time to bash some goblin skulls! It's around 8 pm now...

A. Hunt for goblins in the park, the one where the DARGON lives (some live there, you're less likely to find a mob)
B. Find a cave you heard about a goblin nest in (may take longer to find, but there will be a mob)
C. Go to bed and wait until you meet with the Paladin in the morning

C

a

we're burnin daylight here

C

Been a long day

Okay, C it is.

You take a long rest. All relevant abilities and your HP have been reset.

The next morning, you meet Sienna in the park. She's standing next to a huge wagon filled with meat and is wearing her Paladin armor... actual armor, not the pretend kind. You're impressed and hope yours is every bit as good.
She lifts up the visor on her helmet, "What, you surprised it's this legit? Some people take this more seriously than others, you know."
"I doth see why he wanted 200 gold."
"This cost me 250, but ti's heavy enough that most things don't scratch me unless people get creative. He gave me a good deal. Good Paladin armor usually goes for twice that."
"I verily asked him for medium."
"You don't need to speak like you're at Ren Faire around me all the time, you know."
Sienna has a point. You ponder a response as you see Glenda walking her way over... at the moment, she can't hear you.

A. "No, I speaketh as kind as the knights of the sun, for forthwith I shall not fall!" (insist on speaking like that)
B. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" (hit on her, even though she's half your age [mods: Sienna is 22 y/o, Greg is 44 y/o])
C. "Fine, whatever." (concede her point)
D. Ignore her and explaineth the goblin problem

C

C

C

D

"Fine, whatever." You suddenly feel a sense of freedom.
"Speaking like you're in a Shakespeare tragedy gets old after a while, doesn't it?" Sienna asks.
"Yes, yes it does."
Glenda comes over. "What art thou discussing?"
"Language like that," Sienna says. "You don't need to do that.
Glenda stares at her for a moment, followed blinking repeatedly in her stupor. "Art thou serious?"
"Are YOU being serious?"
"What doth thou mean?" Glenda isn't budging.
"Language like that is a distraction. Just talk normally, but think like your character and focus on the narrative you want to tell. That gets drowned out when you focus on speaking like you're in Romeo and Juliet. You do know the casualty count of that one, yes?"
"She has a point," you tell Glenda.
"Verily I must exclaim my agony! For thou to not speaketh like doth is heresy!" Glenda is glaring at you.
"Please tell me you don't want to have a fight over something as silly as LARP language."
"Thou art the one who tossed the gauntlet. The choice to fight was thine."
Sienna interjects. "Actually, Glenda, you're the one who challenged him on this, when he said I had a point."
Glenda turns to you and points her finger. "The tide of thine affair is verily clear!"
"Woah, woah, woah," Sienna waves both of her hands in front of her, frantically. The visor on her helmet comes loose and covers her face. "We're not doing ANYTHING like that!"
"Glen, take a deep breath and think this through," you say.
"I have. Doth thou have one single clue?"
"Do YOU have a clue?" Sienna asks. "Seriously, this is the dumbest battle to pick. And because he refuses to speak like that, he's having an affair with someone he met just last night? Does your character always jump to the most ridiculous conclusions?"
You know for a fact that Glenda's character doesn't. Nor does Glenda... usually.
Glenda is still digesting this comment...

What do you say to her?
A. "I'm sorry, but Sienna is right. Using language like that does distract me from what LARPing should really be about. It feels freeing. Try it."
B. "I'm not cheating on you. I have no idea why you would think such a thing. Was it something I said or did? Please enlighten me."
C. "If thou shalt feel accusatory, then fare thee well."
D. "So... we have a DARGON to tend to, yes?"
E. Absolutely nothing

A

D

D

A

I'll change to A

You say "I'm sorry, but Sienna is right. Using language like that does distract me from what LARPing should really be about. It feels freeing. Try it."
"Doth thee insist? Doth thou see what a character makes?"
"Try it. Say 'Do you insist? Do you see what makes a character?'"
"Thou shalt not give me orders!"
"Calm down," Sienna interrupts. "Do as he says. He's not giving you orders, just suggestions. You have nothing to lose by just trying."
"Do you insist? Do you see what makes a character? There, I said it." Glenda pouts.
"Was that difficult?" you ask.
"Verily... no, not really."
You breathe a sigh of relief. You think you hear Sienna do the same, but you can't see her face.
"Anyway, where's the DARGON? You said it was somewhere in the woods," Sienna inquires.
"Follow me!"
You return to the hole where you'd previously picked up your armor. Sienna tows her wagon of meat halfway before you take over for her.
When you reach the hole, you call boldly "Hello there my DARGON friend! I hath come hither with thine meat!"
Nothing happens.
"Are you sure this is the place?" Sienna asks.
"Absolutely. Glenda, is this not around where I retrieved my armor from?"
"It is."
"Can we go down there to look?" Sienna asks.
You shake your head. "No. Doing so would require jumping and a way to get back up. Do we have that?"
"I left my rope in my car."

Well now, what do you do?
A. Call to the DARGON again
B. Explain into the hole that your entourage is not to combat
C. Request a quick threesome with the girls while you wait
D. Dump the meat into the hole

C

B

D

B

B