Poll of the Day > Okay for real why are so many people still transphobes

(+) Yeah! (+)

fucking hell

Did you quote the wrong person because that was literally adjls point

On the other hand, if the person referred to says they don't like the nickname someone has for them and they prefer to be called twinkle toes that also raises issues. No one else thinks of that person as twinkle toes and will think the speaker is an oddball for calling then that.

Usually a nickname is something you call someone when addressing that person. The issue of pronouns comes up when describing someone whom the speaker is not addressing.

Anyone that thinks the speaker is odd for referring to somebody by their preferred name is part of the problem

it's very simple to ask for clarification and update one's world view, provided one has at least the mental flexibility of a dung beetle

you need to listen to and respect the wishes of people that ask you to identify them a certain way.

a simple matter of respect and a critical part of cultivating an attitude of respecting them and their feelings about who they are

If you just pretend to care when they're around and revert to ignoring their wishes at other times, that's a fundamentally disrespectful attitude. Don't do that.

No one has suggested the people involved must respect each other.

it's kind of implicit unless you're actively trying to be a terrible person

Well the speaker is talking about someone who isn't there, so...

They don't know that it's the person's preferred name and they don't know why the speaker is calling the person that.

It will occasionally happen that the speaker will use a name the listener is unfamiliar with, but in that case it's very simple to ask for clarification and update one's world view, provided one has at least the mental flexibility of a dung beetle.

If the speaker has to explain the pronoun to the audience that's not more convenient than using the persons actual name. Nor is it convenient to the audience.

That's rather one sided. Identity is negotiated. You're ignoring the other part of that negotiation.

I think you're assuming too much. No one has suggested the people involved must respect each other.

There's no circumstance in which responding to "my name is X" with "no your name is Y" isn't a dick move. So don't do that unless you're trying to be a dick, and if you are trying to be a dick, don't be surprised if people think you're a dick.

I agree. Better to tell them you have no intention of complying to their face.

Literally the next sentence.

It takes 3-4 seconds, once, then all subsequent instances need no further explanation.

I'm not ignoring it. I'm just telling you not to ignore the other other side.

If you choose to be a dick and then complain that people think you're a dick

There's also the secret third option of "get over yourself and stop being a transphobic dick for no reason." That's my favourite.

I think the least anyone can do is not be cruel to people different from them. Even indifference is preferable to hate.

I very much agree. People should be more indifferent about what pronouns other people use.

That doesn't make them transphobic.

That's still less convenient than pronouns which are immediately understood.

This comment fails to address the main point of what was said.

I'm not ignoring it. I'm also not treating it like they have the final say in the matter.

When in this scenario did anyone call the speaker a dick?

Or when was the speaker concerned about their image?

All the speaker is doing is not going along with the demands of someone who is trans. That doesn't make them transphobic.

The trans person can still go about their day as they see fit complete unaffected by the speaker in this scenario.