Poll of the Day > Holy shit Batman was stupid

(+) Yeah! (+)

and five hours long

its the third attempt....

and they arent allowed the campiness shield of the first one.

Just watch the animated series and call it a day.

Nah it was great

Batman is the thinking man's superhero, it's not a surprise the masses don't appreciate him

Batman has the only super power that matters

Money

Blightzkrieg posted...

Batman is the thinking man's superhero, it's not a surprise the masses don't appreciate him

If anything, it's literally the exact opposite.

I am vengeance!

How woke is it? :O

Who is the rat with wings?
Batman: A Penguin!

A mild spoiler that I thought was stupid. lol

KogaSteelfang posted...

A mild spoiler that I thought was stupid. lol

Double meaning but yeah Batman was still learning basic detective work after two years.

at some point you have to wonder just what the fuck is wrong with dc and wb that they keep making these flops

There were things in it that were good. Like the penguin and the riddler. There was probably a pretty good two hour long movie hidden in there somewhere.

but as it went on it just got stupider and stupider. And then it wouldnt end. Like over and over it wouldnt end. It was like return of the king, but at least that was amazing.

I think it went on too long but I really enjoyed it. It didn't top TDK for me but Robert Pattinson was a great Batman and I'd see a sequel.

Pattinson was fine I guess, but he was so robotic. And every scene with him as Bruce or Batman was.. stare at the ground, slowly look up without moving your head, meet the eyes of whoever youre talking to, sometimes make crying face

though with a character like that I feel like its mostly direction and not really on the actor either way

Yeah those I don't think have to do with Pattinson but more so the direction of the character. I love emo bitch Bruce and I'll die on my hill.

It's time to....
.

B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Batman!

That scene where hes just standing outside of catwomans apartment with binoculars as she gets changed wtf was that. And then he gets like.. jealous because he thinks shes fucking penguin and falcone and its like dude wtf are you jealous of she is literally dating a Russian chick and then the Russian chick dies and cat woman is like nooooooo jk I dont actually care wheres that bat dick and over and over she says the phrase I can take care of myself and the last thing he says to her is take care of yourself its like dude do you ever listen? What an almost insulting thing to say to somebody who repeatedly tells you I can take care of myself

I actually really hated that they had the Bat Cat love storyline. I mentioned this in my topic too. Like Selina was supposed to be in love with the chick who died but she didn't seem torn up enough to not flirt with and kiss on Batman. Why did they even have that plot line

seriously why

cut that Russian chick out of the movie entirely and save us 30 minutes. You already have the thing with her mom to use as her motivation.

It didn't make any logical sense. Being at minimum bisexual doesn't automatically mean you'll just date anyone whenever. It was borderline offensive imo.

But she.. likes to take in strays

so stupid

I had watched the first Tom holland Spider-Man on tv earlier in the day before I saw Batman, and it was so much better than Batman.. and thats the one nobody even talks about.

I was so excited to see Batman, and slowly felt my life force sapped out of me by stupid decisions

MICHALECOLE posted...

But she.. likes to take in strays

so stupid

I had watched the first Tom holland Spider-Man on tv earlier in the day before I saw Batman, and it was so much better than Batman.. and thats the one nobody even talks about.

I was so excited to see Batman, and slowly felt my life force sapped out of me by stupid decisions

you mean the movie that follows the same formula as the other 40 marvel movies? every marvel movie is the exact same at this point, i dont even know how people have a favorite when the structure, plot, dialogue, and shitty CGI stay the same from movie to movie

Lorthremar posted...

you mean the movie that follows the same formula as the other 40 marvel movies? every marvel movie is the exact same at this point, i dont even know how people have a favorite when the structure, plot, dialogue, and shitty CGI stay the same from movie to movie

No I mean the movie with likable characters, a funny and exciting script, great actors like Michael Keaton and RDJ, and great cgi

we must have been watching two different movies

God that scene where Batman and commissioner Gordon were whispering to each other but were acting like they were in an argument was hilarious. And every time Batman just shows up places and the cops go waittaminuite freak you cant be here! And Gordon goes its fine hes with me and theyre like you really gonna stick your neck out for this freak?! Over and over, and then Batman beats up three cops and Gordon is like just let me talk to him alone! And theyre all like okay everybody leave the room!

so fucking dumb

or that scene where penguin tells them they dont know Spanish, Gordon and Batman are literally talking to him like the cops in Barton fink. Like the parody of a noir film instead of an actual good noir film

Also that he had pre-parked the Batmobile at the drug deal place was dumb too. I don't recall if he even knew that's where they were going before hand.

I give this one a pass because the Batmobile scene was awesome.

KogaSteelfang posted...

Also that he had pre-parked the Batmobile at the drug deal place was dumb too. I don't recall if he even knew that's where they were going before hand.

I give this one a pass because the Batmobile scene was awesome.

Which leads to a twenty minute car chase scene that definitely killed dozens of people, and would have killed Batman if those six exploding trucks hadnt just so happened to fall into place creating a ramp at the exact right moment

Oh, and him trying to run down the wall as if he run faster than he could fall.

I think that's all I've got.

How about him being a total dickbag to Alfred over and over

you're not my real dad!
why are you wearing his cufflinks?!
*alfred comes to from almost dying* you lied to me my whole life!

ParanoidObsessive posted...

If anything, it's literally the exact opposite.

This is definitely a thinking man's post.

Even at the very start of the movie with the clowns who are attacking that guy, Batman shows up and theyre like who are you supposed to be? When theres literally a bat signal in the sky and theyve shown the lady mayor talking about the streets being ran by a masked vigilante. I know its supposed to be year two but do they know who he is or dont they?

MICHALECOLE posted...

Even at the very start of the movie with the clowns who are attacking that guy, Batman shows up and theyre like who are you supposed to be? When theres literally a bat signal in the sky and theyve shown the lady mayor talking about the streets being ran by a masked vigilante. I know its supposed to be year two but do they know who he is or dont they?

To be fair they thought it was Batman but he said he was vengeance so they were probably just confused

SilentSeph posted...

To be fair they thought it was Batman but he said he was vengeance so they were probably just confused

Wait.. was this one of those things where nobody referred to him as Batman in the whole movie except the riddler? Im trying to remember..

MICHALECOLE posted...

Wait.. was this one of those things where nobody referred to him as Batman in the whole movie except the riddler? Im trying to remember..

I think so. There might've been a couple of times he was called The Bat, like Catwoman did. Don't think it was ever spoken as Batman by anyone else.

As soon as they announced Twilight kid as the new Batman, my hopes went down to zero. And then a lot of the rest of the casting also looked kinda shitty. The Riddler diner commercial made it look kinda interesting but that was it.

wish i could do animations there is just so much to make fun of

you get ben affleck batman (bab from now on) coming in all angry where all the other batmans are hanging out "hey guys listen guys i'm not the worst batman anymore" other batmans "whaaat? no way" bab "yeah yeah there's this new one come you gotta see this chump" batmans see emobat standing in the rain narrating movie's beginning monologue *batmans wtf face* "why is he talking to himself?"

batmans watching him looking at clues "this batcave sucks, it's not even a cave!" emobat "be quiet i'm detectiving" batman "what? you mean you haven't realized it yet?" other batman "i already solved the case 10 minutes ago" alfred comes in "is that clue too hard for you dearie? here let me help" emobat violently turns around and yells in a whiny voice "YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER*absurd rageface*" batmans have wtf face, bab "what the hell is wrong with you" batmans holding bab because he's trying to go at emobat "what the hell is wrong with you?", alfred "shh i know i know i'm not you father, here i made you your favorite cookies with some nice hot chocolate milk" emobat furiously says "YOU'RE.NOT.MY.FATHEEEERRR!!!" and smack the platter with cookies alfred is holding, platter in the air in slowmo, batmans surprised and staring, platter falling down still in slowmo, emobats whiny face, platter hits the floor, batmans stare for a second then leave bab who charges and starts beating up emobat "you don't talk to alfred that way!!" emobat " shut up you're not my fatherrrr *whinier voice than before*" bab "if you not having a father is what turned you into this abomination i'll be the daddy that'll set you straight" bab takes off his bat belt and start whipping emobat, batmans and alfred stare

emobat peeping at selina from rooftop, starts fapping, batmans utterly appalled, adam west batman "that is not appropriate!", emobat starts crying and whimpering while fapping, bab "okay that's it *starts beating emobat up*"

emobat in front of mirror in bathroom putting on black make up around eyes, batmans "is..is he putting make up on?*cringing*", emobat starts crying and he sees the tears ruin the make up "tch *presses intercom button on wall" alfred come here this instance" alfred opens door "you called sir?" emobat "YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER *whiny voice*" emobat slams door and looks at mirror "i need to get stronger make up"

emobat can't break glass, bab "ugh maybe you could have done it were you not such a pathetic crybaby, let me show you how it's done" bab breaks glass with one punch, arkham batman "i have a cream for that, why don't you have any gadgets?" bab goes through glass and starts beating up riddler "SPILL IT" emobat "stop him!he'll kill him!" nolan batman "he's in control" riddler spills the plan bab smiles sadistically and continues punching, nolan batman "huh so this is how it feels like *stops bab*"

emobat sits atop alfred who is laying on the hospital bed with his head lowered so his face is right above alfreds staring, alfred moves slightly, emobat "YOU'RE NOT-*stops because alfred stopped moving* *continues to stare*", batmans on the side "you know what bab, you're right, you're not the worst batman anymore" bab "yes~ *visually happy*" emobat "look you don't know how it's like...MY PARENTS DIED!" batmans " -_- "

seriously someone get an animator on this there are so many jokes to make

The Batman: el rata alada?
THE Batman: https://youtu.be/ZqJatlhKrPk?t=183

The_Viscount posted...

As soon as they announced Twilight kid as the new Batman, my hopes went down to zero. And then a lot of the rest of the casting also looked kinda shitty. The Riddler diner commercial made it look kinda interesting but that was it.

Sparkles was surprisingly the best live action Batman.

I actually liked The Batman more than The Dark Knight. I will concede The Dark Knight is the better film though

ParanoidObsessive posted...

If anything, it's literally the exact opposite.

Hi, have you met Bligh?

papercup posted...

Batman has the only super power that matters

Money

how tf his parents that rich and dont have one bodyguard

(i havent watched the movie so if they changed that im a noob)

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Thats.... really fucking stupid.
Nobody who feels that way would ever be able to become a billionaire.

i do think i heard that reason before so its probably right but its... so off from actual rich billionaires

Shut up maggle.

agesboy posted...

how tf his parents that rich and dont have one bodyguard

(i havent watched the movie so if they changed that im a noob)

The how or why of Batman is always a silly thing that doesnt make any logical sense. Its about trying to tel a good story while not making him look as ridiculous as possible.

Christopher Nolan did a great job with this. Tim burton did a great job with this.

this new one.. didnt know what it wanted to do I dont think. It wanted to make him look as badass as possible.. but also new to this whole thing. Fearless, yet somehow crybaby sensitive. And some of the parts I legitimately couldnt tell if they were trying to be funny or if they were just so stupid I thought they were funny.

hard disagree. It wasn't the best batman, but it was a good movie.

MICHALECOLE posted...

There was probably a pretty good two hour long movie hidden in there somewhere.

It was a very good 2 to 2.25 hour long movie that went on for 3, I will agree to that. I feel it was poorly edited.

I'm way more stoked about Pattinson sequels instead of Affleck

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6F1B7fdT5H8