Poll of the Day > after 50 hours in assassins creed valhalla, this is my conclusion

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Bulbasaur
12/03/21 4:43:48 AM
#1:


it is one big incohesive identity crisis.

nothing in it is done very well, but what there is is a lot of it. none of it really means anything, nor are you meant to really learn anything.

the story doesn't exist. it just doesn't? the premise is you're a viking, you're in england trying to establish your settlement. that's fine.

that's the extent of the story near as far as i can see, and i'm staring at the final stretch of the game. how the game does this is have you go out to about 30 different regions to do a small series of quests there to become buddy-buddy with them in the event you'd ever need their help to fend off some possible threat that may or may not be coming in the future.

what this threat is, exactly, the games never really elaborated on, or i just haven't gotten to the point where they do. but after 50 hours, most of which is spent doing the main story, i feel like i should have been taught it. hell, maybe i was, and it just didn't register, because dialogue in the game feels like a robot made it, the game throws so many characters at you that you just never see again and who all look similar with the fuckin just same like 9 voice actors that everyone is the same as everyone else and they blend together.

but if you don't care about any of that, because obviously why would you, you can go up and down the rivers on a boat, raiding shore settlements to get supplies to upgrade your settlement! it's very fun, if you like doing the same thing over and over and over in the exact same cookie cutter settlements. if you've been to one monastery, you've been to all of them. repeat ad nauseum for military outposts, villages, and farms.

other activities you can do is challenging someone to a chugging contest, or having a rap battle. yeah, a rap battle. and they're bad, stupid, pointless, and the only way to raise your "charisma" which is a stat that might save you like 10 minutes of the game if you cared.

which you don't.

or you can go to asgard, the god realm. what do you do there? the same exact shit, just this time your objective is to stop the wolf from eating the whatever, blah blah. it's very much a non-issue, you can skip this, it adds fuck all nothing to anything.

or you can go to america, and party with the native americans while running around in full chief gear with gigantic headdress and all. as a viking. they speak their own language, no one understands anyone, but everyone also understands everyone.

wonderful

this game sucks 4/10

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UnMead
12/03/21 4:45:25 AM
#2:


I put a 3 or so hours into it

its just like heres a bunch of shit on a minimap fuckin have fun we guess

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Bulbasaur
12/03/21 4:45:48 AM
#3:


also, HOW DO YOU MAKE A VIKING GAME AND THEN JUST DON'T PUT IN ONE HANDED SWORDS

YOU DIDN'T FORGET OR THINK PEOPLE DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THEM OR OMITTED THEM BECAUSE VIKINGS DIDN'T REALLY USE REGULAR SWORDS ACCORDING TO SOME FUCKIN BOOK SOME DESIGNER OVER THERE READ

YOU DID IT SPECIFICALLY TO SELL THEM BACK TO PEOPLE LATER, YOU KNOW IT, I KNOW IT, EVERYONE FUCKIN KNOWS IT AND IT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

how do you go from the brilliance of ac odyssey to this fuckin garbage town

i did all this work to unlock the single one handed sword you can get without owning the dlcs. it's doing a special version of the river raids, in these instanced locations. it takes fucking forever, if you die while doing it you just lose all progress because saving is disabled. it takes like an hour and a half each run and you will be doing multiple runs. but i finally got that one handed sword.

and never used it. because, get this, dual wielding two handed spears?

it's the most broken thing in the game. a spear by itself is a fairly average to slow speed weapon, but it has long reach, so it's balanced well enough. but when you use two at once, things get stupid.

because using two spears at once is the fastest thing in the game. not one weapon is faster, none. not one. combine that with the spears reach, and you now have a long range weapon that hits so fast it stunlocks everything in the game, regardless of level, regardless of difficulty. you can clear out entire fields worth of enemies in the time it takes for them, any of them, to pull out a weapon. it's utterly ridiculous, and there's no reason to not play like this because the game punishes you if you don't, it seems. everything is a hp sponge, everything has a uninterruptable attack they can spam with usually a large or wide aoe, they have an impenetrable shield, or hop around you like they're on crack making it very hard to hit them. with dual spears? doesn't matter, you can now hit them outside of their ai attack response range.

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Bulbasaur
12/03/21 5:00:28 AM
#4:


this game actually pisses me off

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UnMead
12/03/21 5:05:19 AM
#5:


In my short time with it really seemed like the Viking setting was just a cash in on current Viking popularity

and unfortunately theres a lot of people nowadays who embrace Viking culture and heritage but are frankly just insecure assholes some of the time

not saying you cant like Vikings or think theyre cool or even be descended from them, you can do all of those things and maybe youre a cool chill person

cause Vikings are kinda like pirates. Sure it can be fun to learn about them and have fun fantasies about the Viking way of life, but a lot of them were a pretty violent people that sometimes hurt and killed people who had it coming, and sometimes hurt and killed many who didnt.

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wwinterj25
12/03/21 1:42:57 PM
#6:


Ubisoft want their own Witcher 3. It hasn't reached that level yet with the AC series and I doubt it ever will. Still I'm actually enjoying Valhalla. Although I have enjoyed most games in the series.

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Bulbasaur
12/03/21 1:44:55 PM
#7:


Valhalla is much better than the Witcher though so it does have that going for it

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Dikitain
12/03/21 2:06:48 PM
#8:


Sometimes I get the feeling Assassin's Creed is the "Make whatever type of game you want" series, just as long as it includes an Animus. Even that gets thrown out the window in most of the side games.

I mean, the series has been Assassination, Stealth, Parkour, Tower Defense, Strategy, Ship Combat, Open World, RPG, Platformer, Collectathon, and probably a million other types I am forgetting.

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Revelation34
12/04/21 7:21:30 AM
#9:


Dikitain posted...
Sometimes I get the feeling Assassin's Creed is the "Make whatever type of game you want" series, just as long as it includes an Animus. Even that gets thrown out the window in most of the side games.

I mean, the series has been Assassination, Stealth, Parkour, Tower Defense, Strategy, Ship Combat, Open World, RPG, Platformer, Collectathon, and probably a million other types I am forgetting.


Tower defense and strategy?
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Far-Queue
12/04/21 8:25:14 AM
#10:


Revelation34 posted...
Tower defense and strategy?
I don't recall a strategy minigame but Revelations had a tower defense mechanic where you had to defend Assassin's hideouts

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The_tall_midget
12/04/21 10:01:55 AM
#11:


UnMead posted...
In my short time with it really seemed like the Viking setting was just a cash in on current Viking popularity

This.

There was a great review on YouTube explaining why Valhalla was a tedious shit show, and everything I've seen seems like it.

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Revelation34
12/04/21 11:26:56 AM
#12:


Far-Queue posted...

I don't recall a strategy minigame but Revelations had a tower defense mechanic where you had to defend Assassin's hideouts


I think those are all optional so I wouldn't include them as different genres. The main one would always be action adventure I suppose.
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CinderLock
12/04/21 12:25:11 PM
#13:


Valhalla was so disappointing compared to Odyssey. For me it was Europe is just a boring location and the story was a mess. The rap battle things were cool thigh. Like Odyssey was so bright and colorful and had interesting people that made the world feel alive and Valhalla is just gross and grey and the people are boring

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Krow_Incarnate
12/04/21 1:18:36 PM
#14:


The main issue I had is being desynched for killing civies again.

They literally fixed that shit for one game in Odyssey.

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Revelation34
12/04/21 1:22:31 PM
#15:


Krow_Incarnate posted...
The main issue I had is being desynched for killing civies again.

They literally fixed that shit for one game in Odyssey.


The best one was Revelations for that. You could bomb entire crowds without desynching because it only counted the original kill.
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Entity13
12/04/21 1:35:21 PM
#16:


I wanted to like Valhalla because of my heritage, but it's a tedious, repetitive mess congested with Ubisoft's interpretation of the heavily-Christianized version of Nordic mythology; the point of which shows itself in an ending that throws away all that the previous two games tried to do. What's that? You almost liked the new character in Origins, felt mistakes were made with her but could be reconciled as of Odyssey, and were maybe almost curious what she was going to do in the end of Valhalla? That's nice.

I'd say at least the writing is not as bad as Acti-Blizz's content, but not even ants are impressed by how low that bar is right now.

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CarefreeDude
12/04/21 2:14:28 PM
#17:


I had fun with it but I hate at the end you're forced to play as the 'villian' . it just feels kinda dirty

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Bulbasaur
12/05/21 1:48:24 AM
#18:


another fucking thing

why do they keep killing the fuckin cool people

ceolbert still gets me man, like what the fuck

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MeadCore
12/05/21 1:53:16 AM
#19:


Revelation34 posted...
Tower defense and strategy?

yeah some of the games have had some really intricate resource strategizing elements and mini games folded into the gameplay

the games are basically just violent person in an historical era simulators

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Metalsonic66
12/05/21 2:29:10 AM
#20:


Can you drink mead

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Bulbasaur
12/05/21 2:31:02 AM
#21:


you can drink lots of it

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Krazy_Kirby
12/05/21 2:45:55 AM
#22:


the series has been bad since the genre change. it's basically a new IP, but they didn't think people would buy it w/o the old name slapped on
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Bulbasaur
12/05/21 2:47:03 AM
#23:


odyssey was a masterpiece and a sign that the series was finally, finally, going to be good again

and then valhalla crushed all of that

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DirtBasedSoap
12/05/21 2:47:35 AM
#24:


i dont think Ubisoft has made a good game in 10+ years

theyre all cookie cutter, soulless trash

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Bulbasaur
12/05/21 2:49:36 AM
#25:


go play odyssey

but yeah you're actually right about that, far cry 6 just fuckin imploded with that garbage

and this is after they said they were going to try and stop doing that lmao

like i'm actually angry that i wasted $30 buying far cry 6

valhalla i'm at least fine with having paid $60, for some stupid reason

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how long till it lies on my heart
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wwinterj25
12/05/21 1:39:23 PM
#26:


I actually enjoyed Origins more than Odyssey and that's frustrating as I love Greek mythology the most. I just found myself getting burnt out more quicker than normal with Odyssey. I don't get that feeling with Valhalla as much though.

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Bulbasaur
12/06/21 12:49:57 AM
#27:


an image would go here but gamefaqs don't know how to fucking implement image compression for uploads because it's bigger than 4mb. so now i have to do effort to get the image here and it's bullshit



forgot there was a harry potter reference

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Metalsonic66
12/06/21 1:06:35 AM
#28:


Voldemort was convinced that having seven horcruxes would make him more powerful, because seven is a magic number or something.

But he ended up making his last horcrux unintentionally, and in the process he died or whatever.

So, in theory, Voldemort never actually reached his maximum power level!

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