Current Events > Is there a word for a man who only prefers cis women?

(+) Yeah! (+)

VioletMassacre posted...

I can totally understand the mental block if you know the person is trans. I dont know how I would react, but I want to believe Id try to be open. Im not used to sexual/gender minorities irl.

okay. it's still a form of transphobia.

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VioletMassacre posted...

the mental block

At the end of the day, that's all it really it is. If you have a connection with the person in front of you and they're sweet and wonderful and gorgeous and things are getting howdy-ho-there and they have the parts you like, then... it's your own conscious mental issues on the subject.

And I don't consider it part of that "subconscious attraction I just can't control" either. I feel that's passing the buck to your id.

averagejoel posted...

okay. it's still a form of transphobia.

Yes. "A" form. It's not what I'd call malicious by any means, but it exists within you, and you either come to terms with it or let it make your choices for you. It doesn't make you a bad person, just like most people with their own biases.

Where it gets closer to malicious is if you feel comfortable sharing this bias like it ain't no thing.

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averagejoel posted...

okay. it's still a form of transphobia.

so transphobia isn't really a big deal then?

I don't think people realize that people that are uncomfortable with the notion of dating trans people aren't going to be swayed by telling them they're a bigot for not being comfortable with it. It takes time and lived experience to change that sort of mindset.

If they actually got to know a trans person, like even as a friend, it'd go much farther towards changing their preconceived notions than just telling them they're bigots. :v

But it's not bigot in a bad way you see

(Even though that is the only way to interpret it)

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I've seen MtF transgender who look good on pictures and it's hard to tell the difference between them and cis females but when they start talking, like when you see them in videos and hear them it's painfully obvious they are biologically male, maybe there are some exceptions though, just never really met any

This kind of topic again ?, I know its pride month but people need to stop trying to convert straight men.

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averagejoel posted...

many people are assigned, at birth, a gender which does not align with their gender identity.

Once again I said sex, not gender. I dont care about one feelings of gender. The science of sex assigned at birth is what I said nothing more.

The fact that twice now this had to be said suggests what I guessed correctly in that bullet.

ROOTFayth posted...

but when they start talking

It's okay to not to be attracted to a particular trans person because of their voice. You're not attracted to that particular person and that's fine.

It's these "blanket" assumptions that trans women will all have this dissonance.

Example: The Youtuber Sphere Hunter.

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RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

This kind of topic again ?, I know its pride month but people need to stop trying to convert straight men.

But my quota

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asdf8562 posted...

The fact that twice now this had to be said suggests what I guessed correctly in that bullet.

Or that you poisoned the question for the purpose of being misunderstood. Who knows, right?

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CyricZ posted...

But my quota

I know, not making your quota feels bad. :(

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CyricZ posted...

It's okay to not to be attracted to a particular trans person because of their voice. You're not attracted to that particular person and that's fine.

It's these "blanket" assumptions that trans women will all have this dissonance.

Example: The Youtuber Sphere Hunter.

I mean I dunno if I'm just too sensitive to tones of voices but it certainly doesn't sound female to me, just looked it up on youtube and it's kind of an inbetween male and female voice that I always hear from MtF transgenders, I'm sure some people don't mind it, it's a huge turn off for me though, I can't handle cis women with deeper voices either fwiw

ROOTFayth posted...

so transphobia isn't really a big deal then?

the fuck are you talking about?

transphobia is a systemic issue. obviously some manifestations of this are more serious than others. trans people being murdered at rates far above the general population is a very serious problem. dating "preferences" that completely exclude trans people for being trans is a less immediate concern, but it's still a symptom of the same overall issue

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You're not a bigot for not wanting to bone trans people. This is getting silly and hurts trans acceptance

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asdf8562 posted...

Once again I said sex, not gender. I dont care about one feelings of gender. The science of sex assigned at birth is what I said nothing more.

okay. many people are assigned a sex at birth which does not align with their gender identity. sex, like gender, is a spectrum, and the "male/female" binary is 100% socially constructed.

happy?

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averagejoel posted...

the fuck are you talking about?

transphobia is a systemic issue. obviously some manifestations of this are more serious than others. trans people being murdered at rates far above the general population is a very serious problem. dating "preferences" that completely exclude trans people for being trans is a less immediate concern, but it's still a symptom of the same overall issue

transphobia according to people on this board seems to be a very large spectrum and it feels like one end of it isn't that big of a deal, like if you decide you'd rather not date a transgender but still treat all of them with respect and not exclude them from anything going on in your life except specifically dating and/or sex then it's really tame

I can see some version of transphobia that are bad, just this part of the spectrum doesn't strike me as a big deal and not something people should really care about too much

MutantJohn posted...

You're not a bigot for not wanting to bone trans people. This is getting silly and hurts trans acceptance

Stop concern trolling, this has been explained to you many times in this topic. Either you're a moron, or you're being deliberately obtuse. You get to choose which it is.

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CyricZ posted...

Or that you poisoned the question for the purpose of being misunderstood. Who knows, right?

There was nothing to "poison."

The first post wasn't even a question for starters. It was a prediction to what this topics likely talking points were. The fact that twice assigned sex was morphed to gender tells me my assessment on that bullet likely came true.

Even after I made it clear I said sex, not gender, the person went out of his way to acknowledge sex and gender is different to twist the post to gender again. No misunderstanding to be had there, the post was intentionally misconstrued to bring up gender and feelings. Which has nothing to do with what I specifically said, sex assigned at birth.

Heterosexual male not wanting to have sex with another person who has or has had a penis is now transphobic?

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averagejoel posted...

okay. many people are assigned a sex at birth which does not align with their gender identity. sex, like gender, is a spectrum, and the "male/female" binary is 100% socially constructed.

happy?

See my last post.

I said sex, not gender. Any post bringing up gender when addressing that bullet is you bringing up something never said in my post.

Sex is assigned at birth.

COVxy posted...

Stop concern trolling, this has been explained to you many times in this topic. Either you're a moron, or you're being deliberately obtuse. You get to choose which it is.

Why are you so mad?

No one is under any obligation to have sex with someone to prove they're accepting.


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ROOTFayth posted...

transphobia according to people on this board seems to be a very large spectrum and it feels like one end of it isn't that big of a deal, like if you decide you'd rather not date a transgender but still treat all of them with respect and not exclude them from anything going on in your life except specifically dating and/or sex then it's really tame

I can see some version of transphobia that are bad, just this part of the spectrum doesn't strike me as a big deal and not something people should really care about too much

again: transphobia is a system. you can think of it as a disease.

trans people being murdered at higher rates is one symptom. complete exclusion of trans people from a dating pool is another. there's a clear difference in severity, but they're both part of the same disease.

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Bass_X0 posted...

Heterosexual male not wanting to have sex with another person who has or has had a penis is now transphobic?

if it's based on that reason alone then yes it would seem so but I think most transgenders would agree it's not a big deal

averagejoel posted...

again: transphobia is a system. you can think of it as a disease.

trans people being murdered at higher rates is one symptom. complete exclusion of trans people from a dating pool is another. there's a clear difference in severity, but they're both part of the same disease.

but nobody is REALLY completely excluding them from the dating pool, just like my obese people exemple, I mean there is probably a reality where I fall in love with an obese woman under the right set of circumstances, same with a transgender, but fact is I would still discount dating a transgender at probably a 99.99% rate, if that makes me transphobic so be it, I'm still not going to judge or hate on them for being who they are though

asdf8562 posted...

See my last post.

I said sex, not gender. Any post bringing up gender when addressing that bullet us you bringing up something never said in my post.

Sex is assigned at birth.

yes, sex is assigned at birth. it's generally assigned as either "male" or "female," despite sex being a spectrum. "male" and "female" are two largely arbitrary points on this spectrum that people have, for whatever reason, decided are the only existing points.

sometimes that sex is incorrectly assigned.

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MutantJohn posted...

Why are you so mad?

No one is under any obligation to have sex with someone to prove they're accepting.

Not mad, just stating facts. Maybe don't engage in the topic if your feelings can't handle it.

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averagejoel posted...

yes, sex is assigned at birth. it's generally assigned as either "male" or "female," despite sex being a spectrum. "male" and "female" are two largely arbitrary points on this spectrum that people have, for whatever reason, decided are the only existing points.

sometimes that sex is incorrectly assigned.

gender is a spectrum, sex isn't, some people being born with defects don't make it a spectrum

ROOTFayth posted...

but nobody is REALLY completely excluding them from the dating pool

a lot of people in this topic seem to disagree with this

just like my obese people exemple, I mean there is probably a reality where I fall in love with an obese woman under the right set of circumstances, same with a transgender, but fact is I would still discount dating a transgender at probably a 99.99% rate, if that makes me transphobic so be it, I'm still not going to judge or hate on them for being who they are though

that's a decent start. now try doing some self-reflection. try thinking about where those biases come from and why you hold them. talk to some people who actually know about these things.

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ROOTFayth posted...

gender is a spectrum, sex isn't, some people being born with defects don't make it a spectrum

sex is a spectrum.

if we were to graph the "biological sex" of every person on earth, we'd get something that looks sort of like a double bell curve. like this:



one "peak" would be people with two testes, a penis, a prostate, an X and Y chromosome, whose bodies produce certain amounts of certain hormones, who have a certain amount of body hair, etc.

the other "peak" would be people with two ovaries, a vagina, a uterus, two developed breasts, two X chromosomes, etc.

and every deviation from those specific characteristics would put someone a little farther from a "peak"

for a long time, this whole issue has been treated as though only the two peaks exist. and that worked... reasonably well, for most people, most of the time. but biological sex is way more complicated than that

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it's not really biases though, it's just so many female features I find attractive are almost non existent among the male population, doesn't matter if they get surgery or not, and I'm not talking about boobs and vagina

ROOTFayth posted...

it's not really biases though, it's just so many female features I find attractive are almost non existent among the male population, doesn't matter if they get surgery or not, and I'm not talking about boobs and vagina

that... is a form of bias

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Who does it benefit to bully people into dating people they don't want to?

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MutantJohn posted...

Who does it benefit to bully people into dating people they don't want to?

no one is doing that. contribute to the conversation or shut the fuck up

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averagejoel posted...

that... is a form of bias

well okay then, everybody is biased obviously when it comes to their dating preferences and there's nothing wrong with it

ROOTFayth posted...

well okay then, everybody is biased obviously when it comes to their dating preferences and there's nothing wrong with it

dating preferences that are biased against trans people is another symptom of the disease of transphobia.

also I notice you haven't responded to post 281

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averagejoel posted...

no one is doing that. contribute to the conversation or shut the fuck up

Then what do you call all this stuff about bias and self-reflection and being transphobic?

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averagejoel posted...

yes, sex is assigned at birth. it's generally assigned as either "male" or "female," despite sex being a spectrum. "male" and "female" are two largely arbitrary points on this spectrum that people have, for whatever reason, decided are the only existing points.

sometimes that sex is incorrectly assigned.

So..... I was spot on with my bullet ROFL.

"- a couple users incorrectly proclaiming the sex of an individual was wrongfully assigned. Feelings overriding science of the sex you were born as."

Sex =/= gender. As you have tried to do several times when I strictly said sex, not gender. Thanks for the confirmation you were one those users proving that bullet happened.

averagejoel posted...

dating preferences that are biased against trans people is another symptom of the disease of transphobia.

What gives you the right to tell other people what their preferences should be?


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MutantJohn posted...

Then what do you call all this stuff about bias and self-reflection and being transphobic?

it sure as hell isn't bullying

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gunplagirl posted...

No. Trans women are women. If he dates women but refuses to date any trans woman, regardless of her genital configuration but rather simply by virtue of her being trans or because of some other trait he assumes all trans women share in common, he's discriminating against them. Plain as that.

Just curious why you keep comparing trans women to gay men, though.

So if girl thinks a guy is cute, and they go back to have sex. And she finds out that the guy is a really study. Is she bigot if she doesn't have sex right then?


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Heavy_D_Forever posted...

What gives you the right to tell other people what their preferences should be?

Their feelings

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averagejoel posted...

dating preferences that are biased against trans people is another symptom of the disease of transphobia.

also I notice you haven't responded to post 281

well I mean I can respond to it, all I can say is it can be seen as a spectrum I guess but the way I view it is anything right of the middle is female, anything left is male and we leave it at that, otherwise literally everything in life would be a spectrum, this is just making it complicated for no reasons really

asdf8562 posted...

So..... I was spot on with my bullet ROFL.

"- a couple users incorrectly proclaiming the sex of an individual was wrongfully assigned. Feelings overriding science of the sex you were born as."

Sex =/= gender. Thanks for the confirmation you were one those users proving that bullet happened.

you should consider engaging with the things I say (namely in post 281) instead of pulling shit like this out of your ass.

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Heavy_D_Forever posted...

What gives you the right to tell other people what their preferences should be?

I'm not doing that

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anyway I think everyone should really be at peace with the fact that there is going to be discrimination when it comes to dating and it's fine this way, less people are going to get hurt this way than the other way around

ROOTFayth posted...

everyone should really be at peace with the fact that there is going to be discrimination when it comes to dating

Nice mindset

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ROOTFayth posted...

well I mean I can respond to it, all I can say is it can be seen as a spectrum I guess but the way I view it is anything right of the middle is female, anything left is male and we leave it at that,

yes, that is part of society's oversimplification of sex, which is not actually true, and which we should therefore try to move past.

otherwise literally everything in life would be a spectrum, this is just making it complicated for no reasons really

you have it backwards. the male/female binary is just oversimplifying it "for no reasons really"

and again: the false binary never worked for everyone. deconstructing it is an important part of becoming more inclusive as a society

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Homosexual male = their penis + another penis
Heterosexual male = their penis + not a penis

Did people somehow forget this?

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GreatGoomba posted...

Nice mindset

you do it too, like literally everybody in the whole goddamn world