Current Events > Is there a word for a man who only prefers cis women?

(+) Yeah! (+)

gunplagirl posted...

Having a genital preference is fine as long as they still will date ones who have the genitals that they do prefer. If they disqualify all members of the group simply for being a member of that group, it's an issue. If they'd still date members of the group who do meet the desired traits, it's just fine.

Don't bother replying with a wall of text, I'll simply opt to ignore it if you try and debate this.

Why would I reply with a wall of text? I had thought you called me transphobic for being straight and unwilling to date a MTF who was not fully transitioned? I said I would if fully transitioned and I found the person attractive.

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AlisLandale posted...

If a straight person will date transgender peeps, theyre New Striaght.

If a straight person wont, theyre Straight Classic.

and if a straight person is depressed, theyre Dire Straight

+1

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Carl.

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@toyota
Don't make up terms like female woman and male woman.

And the term for such a person would be fetishist if they would only consider trans women as sexual partners.

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bsp77 posted...

Why would I reply with a wall of text? I had thought you called me transphobic for being straight and unwilling to date a MTF who was not fully transitioned? I said I would if fully transitioned and I found the person attractive.

I hadn't seen the post, you'll notice I missed like 80 yesterday.

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gunplagirl posted...

@toyota
Don't make up terms like female woman and male woman.

And the term for such a person would be fetishist if they would only consider trans women as sexual partners.

i thought male/female referred to sex (as in penis or vagina) and whether you are a man/woman referred to gender? im sorry i thought i was making things clear and concise because i know gender =/= sex

gunplagirl posted...

I hadn't seen the post, you'll notice I missed like 80 yesterday.

This was weeks ago. Maybe a misunderstanding

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Ngl this is a pretty clever thread, assuming it's designed to get people banned

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I will never understand the extreme need some people feel to alienate other people with the use of the word transphobic in cases where it's clearly a matter of personal sexual preference.

DaveTheUseless posted...

Ngl this is a pretty clever thread, assuming it's designed to get people banned

I assume thats the point of 99.99% of threads

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VioletMassacre posted...

I dont know what youre smoking, but it cant be good for you.

I can attest to being gay and very much not liking vaginas. Like, no matter who they are attached to, I just don't like them. :v

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Nemu posted...

I will never understand the extreme need some people feel to alienate other people with the use of the word transphobic in cases where it's clearly a matter of personal sexual preference.

Ok sure, alienating cis people is the real concern here.

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Nemu posted...

I will never understand the extreme need some people feel to alienate other people with the use of the word transphobic in cases where it's clearly a matter of personal sexual preference.

Damn, you think that's alienating? Imagine having various prominent groups in the government attempting to legislate you out of existence while most of society is just fine with these laws. And to add insult to injury, they expect you to apologize for existing and say what you are so they don't accidentally get attracted to you.

But that would just be silly, it's not like that's literally my life except the part where it is. :3

Maybe you just have really thin skin and dislike being accountable for your words and actions.

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FarFromFields posted...

Ok sure, alienating cis people is the real concern here.

Yes, alienating people who are not inherently against you through the use of pointlessly aggressive and incorrect language is a bad thing. Like it's certainly not going to change anything on this cesspool of a board, but this is a trend that exists in a variety of spaces.

toyota posted...

i thought male/female referred to sex (as in penis or vagina) and whether you are a man/woman referred to gender? im sorry i thought i was making things clear and concise because i know gender =/= sex

No, not at all

bsp77 posted...

This was weeks ago. Maybe a misunderstanding

Can't recall, sorry

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

It's called "reality". You see, I wake up in the morning and I step outside, then I take a deep breath and get real high. Then I scream from the top of my lungs "what's going on?"

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Nemu posted...

Yes, alienating people who are not inherently against you through the use of pointlessly aggressive and incorrect language is a bad thing. Like it's certainly not going to change anything on this cesspool of a board, but this is a trend that exists in a variety of spaces.

"I am not inherently against you, I just don't consider you to be women" isn't the argument you think it is. You may not be Republican party "ban us from existing" levels of bad, but you're still not on our side.

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Nemu posted...

Yes, alienating people who are not inherently against you through the use of pointlessly aggressive and incorrect language is a bad thing. Like it's certainly not going to change anything on this cesspool of a board, but this is a trend that exists in a variety of spaces.

Or maybe people could stop being so defensive and really think about why they're being accused of transphobia. Take it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

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averagejoel posted...

.. unless this disinterest is specifically because the person is trans.

If a straight man isn't sexist for not wanting to have sex with men purely because they are men (which, of course, he isn't), or any other gender/orientation combo you'd prefer to use, then using transphobic in this context renders it useless. It has become a meaningless word at that point.

Garioshi posted...

The symbolic hero of America being a literal alien is an embarrassment and you know it! The Justice League needs to be dismantled and put under heavy surveillance for the good of us all!

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FarFromFields posted...

Or maybe people could stop being so defensive and really think about why they're being accused of transphobia. Take it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

It's kind of hard for people to "learn" when being bludgeoned by nonsensical terminology that puts discussion on the notion of sexuality and attraction into the same category as actual bigots like the post above yours. I understand experiencing real life discrimination might have made her like that, but it doesn't help her whatsoever to be so pointlessly aggressive towards everything.

Glob posted...

If a straight man isn't sexist for not wanting to have sex with men purely because they are men (which, of course, he isn't), or any other gender/orientation combo you'd prefer to use, then using transphobic in this context renders it useless. It has become a meaningless word at that point.

That's not how it works at all and conflating the concepts is foolish at best.

If the man is straight, he won't date men. He will date women. If he excludes all trans women, that's because he has some issue with trans women.

If a man is bisexual but won't date men, that's probably because of some internalized homophobia. Too vague a concept to explain in generalized examples.

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@Nemu
Calling a minority a bigot for calling out discrimination is fucking horrible. Frankly, you know what you are but still think your actions are good and moral, and that anyone who goes against what you think is the one who is wrong and immoral.

So my advice is to take a step back and not frame yourself as the center of the conversation about bigotry against a group you're not a member of.

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gunplagirl posted...

If he excludes all trans women, that's because he has some issue with trans women.

How do you get over stigma?

I know even girls irl who say they are supportive of trans people but would be absolutely put off if they found out a guy they were interested in has hooked up with a transgirl in the past.

toyota posted...

How do you get over stigma?

I know even girls irl who say they are supportive of trans people but would be absolutely put off if they found out a guy they were interested in has hooked up with a transgirl in the past.

It takes a lot of self reflection, and being able to be confident with yourself and not judge others or hold things against them that they genuinely can't help.

Maturity helps, as does having been in situations where you've had to be able to make hard calls but went with the right choice even if it means others hate you for it.

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gunplagirl posted...

If the man is straight, he won't date men.

Agreed. Because that's his sexual preference, which quite rightly isn't seen as harming anybody.

gunplagirl posted...

If he excludes all trans women, that's because he has some issue with trans women.

Yes, as he does with men. But it can still be a sexual preference so putting the label transphobic on it is no more fitting than putting the label of sexist on it because he won't sleep with men.

gunplagirl posted...

@Nemu
Calling a minority a bigot for calling out discrimination is fucking horrible. Frankly, you know what you are but still think your actions are good and moral, and that anyone who goes against what you think is the one who is wrong and immoral.

So my advice is to take a step back and not frame yourself as the center of the conversation about bigotry against a group you're not a member of.

What? I said you're conflating people discussing the notion of sexuality and attraction into the same category as actual bigots, which is extremely counterproductive and simply an unhealthy mentality.

TurboChad

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Nemu posted...

What? I said you're conflating people discussing the notion of sexuality and attraction into the same category as actual bigots, which is extremely counterproductive and simply an unhealthy mentality.

do you recognize that society is transphobic?
do you recognize that that transphobia might have an effect on the sexual preferences of any given person within society?

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Glob posted...

Agreed. Because that's his sexual preference, which quite rightly isn't seen as harming anybody.

Yes, as he does with men. But it can still be a sexual preference so putting the label transphobic on it is no more fitting than putting the label of sexist on it because he won't sleep with men.

No. Trans women are women. If he dates women but refuses to date any trans woman, regardless of her genital configuration but rather simply by virtue of her being trans or because of some other trait he assumes all trans women share in common, he's discriminating against them. Plain as that.

Just curious why you keep comparing trans women to gay men, though.

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@Glob you're basically saying "I date women, but not trans women" which implies that trans women are not actually women. That's transphobic, plain and simple.

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averagejoel posted...

do you recognize that society is transphobic?
do you recognize that that transphobia might have an effect on the sexual preferences of any given person within society?

I agree there are biases that may reflect how people view themselves and others. Transphobic is an extremely unhelpful term to use as a catch-all for all of those biases. It's aggressive and implies all such feelings are wrong, when it's a mixed bag of hatred, confusion, and simple normal lack of attraction.

Someone who is attracted to a trans woman but then loses that attraction upon learning she is a trans woman because they are not attracted to someone with a biologically male body is not transphobic.
Someone who is attracted to a trans woman but then decides they don't want to pursue that attraction because of factors like "being seen as gay" or something along that line is someone feeling the effects of transphobia.

You can disagree with that. We can have this kind of discussion. The issue comes when people start acting like the discussion itself is problematic when sexuality and attraction are very personal in the first place.

gunplagirl posted...

If he dates women but refuses to date any trans woman, regardless of her genital configuration but rather simply by virtue of her being trans or because of some other trait he assumes all trans women share in common, he's discriminating against them. Plain as that.

He is. I agree. However, that's also fine. Discriminating in your choice of sexual partners is an inalienable right that all people possess. He's not wrong for discriminating against men (which he does) and not wrong for discriminating against trans women.

gunplagirl posted...

Just curious why you keep comparing trans women to gay men, though.

Keep? It was a single hypothetical that didn't even explicitly mention that there were gay men involved. I also prefaced it by saying that you could switch the gender/orientation if you preferred. You're looking for an agenda when there isn't one.

gunplagirl posted...

If he dates women but refuses to date any trans woman he's discriminating against them

lol no, that's an extremist lunatic take


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can we just like... let people pick their own partners? :v

Ardbert posted...

can we just like... let people pick their own partners? :v

apparently unacceptable for the foreveralone radicals. its gotta be someone's fault regardless

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Nemu posted...

What? I said you're conflating people discussing the notion of sexuality and attraction into the same category as actual bigots, which is extremely counterproductive and simply an unhealthy mentality.

Bigotry runs a very extensive range. "I won't date them" "I am uncomfortable with them" and "they need to be banned" are all various points on the scale. Certain ones are considered acceptable, which is a problem in itself.

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FarFromFields posted...

@Glob you're basically saying "I date women, but not trans women" which implies that trans women are not actually women. That's transphobic, plain and simple.

I mean, I didn't say that. It's not about me. I don't date anybody because I'm in a committed relationship and have been for over a decade. I'm not the factor being disputed here.

My issue with what you're saying is that I believe somebody's right to choose not to sleep with another person, for whatever reason, is one of the most fundamental rights that everybody should be afforded. It trumps anybody else's need to feel valued in a sexual way (which is why incels can fuck right off).

At the point that you accuse somebody of being transphobic for their choice not to sleep with somebody (or a whole group) you achieve nothing except maybe make them feel guilty and/or angry about the terminology you are using. This is a no-win situation for everybody involved.

On this subject, I see these interactions a lot:

A: "I don't date transwomen."
B: "Why not?"
A: "I don't have to explain myself. I just don't."

Like what's the point of telling us if you're just going to hide behind it? What are we supposed to do with this information about you?

Glob posted...

I don't date anybody because I'm in a committed relationship and have been for over a decade

Oh yeah this too. What's the point of stressing your dating pool exclusions if you're out of the dating pool?

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Ardbert posted...

can we just like... let people pick their own partners? :v

Nobody's saying people can't be bigots. But likewise, nobody has to accept that bigotry exists.

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Ardbert posted...

can we just like... let people pick their own partners? :v

Literally no one is arguing against this.

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Why the fuck do the same people keep acting like we're saying you HAVE TO date anyone. It's not happening at all, and it's pretty fucking creepy that you keep accusing trans people of coercing others into having sex with them.

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CyricZ posted...

On this subject, I see these interactions a lot:

A: "I don't date transwomen."
B: "Why not?"
A: "I don't have to explain myself. I just don't."

Like what's the point of telling us if you're just going to hide behind it? What are we supposed to do with this information about you?

Oh yeah this too. What's the point of stressing your dating pool exclusions if you're out of the dating pool?

They're going for "woke points" by saying how much they aren't a bigot.

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Nemu posted...

I agree there are biases that may reflect how people view themselves and others.

it's not an opinion. there's nothing to "agree" with.

Transphobic is an extremely unhelpful term to use as a catch-all for all of those biases. It's aggressive and implies all such feelings are wrong, when it's a mixed bag of hatred, confusion, and simple normal lack of attraction.

incorrect. "transphobic" is not a moral judgement, and it isn't "aggressive" just because a few people interpret it that way.

regardless, "transphobic" is a description of the societal conditions that lead to such behaviour. it is also a description of the effects of such behaviour (i.e. behaviour that is discriminatory against trans people)

Someone who is attracted to a trans woman but then loses that attraction upon learning she is a trans woman because they are not attracted to someone with a biologically male body is not transphobic.

yes they are.

Someone who is attracted to a trans woman but then decides they don't want to pursue that attraction because of factors like "being seen as gay" or something along that line is someone feeling the effects of transphobia.

sure. but that doesn't prevent the behaviour itself from being transphobic

You can disagree with that. We can have this kind of discussion. The issue comes when people start acting like the discussion itself is problematic when sexuality and attraction are very personal in the first place.

they are still informed by a transphobic society.

if a preference is informed by transphobic societal norms, and that preference results in discriminatory behaviour against trans people, what would you call the preference and the behaviour if not "transphobic"?

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The word for that is transphobic

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gunplagirl posted...

Why the fuck do the same people keep acting like we're saying you HAVE TO date anyone. It's not happening at all, and it's pretty fucking creepy that you keep accusing trans people of coercing others into having sex with them.

It's because of the terminology being used and I don't believe that you can't see that.

When you accuse people of being transpbobic and a bigot if they don't sleep with trans people, that's what's being implied.

Do you really think the people arguing against you are in fear of trans people co-ercing them into sex? Of course they aren't.

The fact is that you are using emotionally loaded terms to describe behaviour which is normal. Now you might feel that it shouldn't be normal and you might be right, but calling most of the population names isn't going to win them over.

ManaYuka posted...

There isn't a distinction between Cis Women and Transsexual women. This is the whole point of the new gender dichotomy. Likewise for Cis men and Transexual men.

If your attracted to Femininity for instance, you will find both hot cis women and hot Transsexuals women. Just how our minds work.

There is most definitely a difference between a ciswoman and a transwoman.

Glob posted...

When you accuse people of being transpbobic and a bigot if they don't sleep with trans people, that's what's being implied.

first of all: it's a description; not an accusation.

second: no, it is not what's being implied. that's something that you're making up; not something that's actually being said

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If you're "straight", you will have sex with a trans person otherwise you're a bigot.

Transwomen are literally women. Stop being hateful.

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