Current Events > CYOA: You are Merlin the Muscle Wizard (v2.1)

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nikko004
06/15/21 8:59:40 PM
#1:


I ain't giving up on this one that easily

Story so far (mobile-friendly): https://tinyurl.com/2m96x45y

You can also ask me if you want a different place to read it.

@teep_
@Kircheis
@Eevee-Trainer
@OffTempo
@badjay
@Tsukasa1891
@Alakazamtrainer
(hope i didn't miss anyone, i swear if i did, it's from bad memory because i forgot to write it down)

RECAP OF WHAT HAPPENED SO FAR:

You are Merlin. You have big muscles and cannot use magic. You punch things really hard using Chi, which is kinda like magic but not really. Everyone uses magic in a carefree manner to the point that everyone's muscles have atrophied.
Also, everyone kinda sucks at using magic compared to how it was in your days.

Your goal is to punch the Mad God Titan because he insulted your glorious beard.

You are joined by friends such as:
  • A dwarf-like wizard named Gundilf of the Blackpowder, who wields a staff that is totally not a shotgun.
  • A lanky bum named King Goldius, who likes to zap things to feel tall. (He is currently missing)
  • A nerdy student named Terry Thotter, who hopes to burn things.
  • An energetic student named Lye Tennings, who likes to zap things because she can.
  • A talking chair whom I don't give enough screen time.
Currently you are edgy as hell and trying to fix this by visiting your friend in the mountains.

(update in the next post)

---
How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
... Copied to Clipboard!
nikko004
06/15/21 9:01:39 PM
#2:


A) Continue springing up the mountain

Oh well, if shit hits the fan, that's for future you to handle. You have to get yourself sorted out asap, before your condition gets worse.

And before you end up with a regular old chair.

You load up more Chi into your legs, then start running up the steep sides of the mountain at an alarming speed. Cracks form on the sides with every step you take, but you can't be bogged down by that now.

"Jeez Louise pal, slow down a bit! I'm feelin' sick from this--"

"You're a goddamn chair, don't pretend you can throw up."

He wiggles in frustration. "Man, I liked ya better when you were less cranky."

"Oh pardon me, but DID YOU WANNA FUCKING LIVE?!" you yell.

"Whoa...jeez, sorry pal. I was just jokin."

You shake your head. "No, that wasn't my intention, I'm--"

He retorts with silence.

"I'm just really fucked up right now," you think to yourself.

Silence complements the sound of your forceful footsteps up the mountain side.

The summit is close by, and the mana fish guiding you is getting more energetic as you approach--

You get slapped with a sphere of water from the side, knocking you to flat ground just below the summit. The water freezes up from the frigid altitude, inhibiting your arms.

Another sphere of water comes flying your way. You try to react fast by covering your face with Chi, but the sphere gets struck by lightning from the sky.

It evaporates into steam, reducing your vision. The steam gets sustained by a flurry of fireballs from all around you.

You flex to break the ice on your arms then punch the ground to dig a large crater, which lets you avoid all the fires from the sides. You then punch away all the fireballs from above.

The sound of wings flapping rings out. The steam gets blown away.

A figure descends from above you, attempting a meteor-like axe-kick.

You narrowly move out of the way.

Your adrenaline-induced self takes in as much information about your assailant as you can in a split second.

This masked, human-like figure as tall as you are retracts her dragon wings, and throws a roundhouse kick at you

With a leg full of glowing blue Chi.

You deflect it upwards with the back of your Chi-infused hand.

Her momentums preserved. Another kick at you.

You block it with your forearm, then grab it and swing her body around before slamming her into the ground.

She funnels Chi to her wings to reinforce them and cushion the blow, then uses them to spring herself into a drop kick on your chest.

You feel your ribs crack a bit as you stagger back.

She throws another roundhouse kick at you.

Fuck this. You funnel crimson-colored Chi into your arm, then

FIST!!! you yell, punching right through her kick...and possibly her leg bones.

The attack sends her tumbling back.

Panting can be heard from both of you, along with the howl of the frigid winds.

Whats with all the noise?! says the voice of an old lady.

You look up to the summit, where you see the mana fish circling around the large, looming head of a familiar dragon.

Smog, you old bitch. The fucking mountains?! You couldnt have picked a better place?! You say, then point to the girl. And who the fuck is this asshole?!

She slowly sits up and tends to her knee. Mother...get away...this man is dangerous--

Oh shush darling, thats just a broken leg. You can walk it off. She says with a bit of a singing tone. Then she glares at you. Merlin. I see you broke the hat. Come on up.

You run up the steep wall, leading you to the summit. There you see a nice open area with a rustic wooden cabin.

Smogs large dragon body rests comfortably near the edge of the summit.

Her large eyes meet yours. You look away. My apologies. Didnt mean to yell at you.

I dont mind. But I DO mind you calling my own daughter an asshole.

You shrug. Can you blame me? She attacked me out of nowhere!

Just show me the hat already.

You grumble and throw the hat at her like a frisbee.

She catches it with a single claw. Hmm...huh. I guess you didnt break it.

I take good care of it, you know.

She brings it up to her nose, then immediately gags. Riiiiight. Im sure you do. Anyways, youre uh, slightly fucked here. If the hat was broken, all Id have to do is fix it.

You sigh. Of course its never fucking easy, is it. Well, whats the problem then?

She puts the hat back on you. Your curse has advanced beyond the hats power. Beyond MY power. She looks down, over to Wizard Atlanta. Well, I could probably fix it with a bit more strength. If I ate the heart of an Ice Dragon, wed be sailing.

You smile. Yeah sure, lemme just go to the forest to pluck out an Ice Dragon heart real quick. Yknow, since they grow on trees. You then cross your arms and glare. Where in the name of fuck am I gonna get one of those?!

She pokes your chest. Calm your tits, boy. She then gives you a mischievous smile. It just so happens that the lil girl that lives nicely in her lil castle down there has one. One that belonged to my father.

A) Take it by force
B) Take it sneakily

Also choose one person to bring (note, the chair will be left behind here)

1) Gundilf
2) Terry
3) Lye
4) Smogs Daughter

---
How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
... Copied to Clipboard!
Eevee-Trainer
06/15/21 9:31:42 PM
#3:


nikko004 posted...
I ain't giving up on this one that easily
fuck yeah

Anyhow, A & 1

---
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Tsukasa1891
06/15/21 9:49:22 PM
#4:


B and 4.
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Eevee-Trainer
06/15/21 9:56:20 PM
#5:


Oh right, as far as people who might be interested -- @fire_bolt forget if you following this, but here ya go

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DrizztLink
06/15/21 9:58:50 PM
#6:


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fire_bolt
06/15/21 10:29:05 PM
#7:


Eevee-Trainer posted...
Oh right, as far as people who might be interested -- @fire_bolt forget if you following this, but here ya go


Thanks!

B 4
---
Please, call me Bolt
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Alakazamtrainer
06/16/21 12:06:13 AM
#8:


B 4
---
http://steamcommunity.com/id/alakazamtrainer/ friend me on steam
also Alakazam will always triumph!
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Kircheis
06/16/21 12:07:48 AM
#9:


A 4

Also @Hambo_the_Hog since I got you into this series.
---
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badjay
06/16/21 12:58:34 PM
#10:


A 4 as if she's the sneaky type, and you're going to be sneaky lol.

---
[05:45:34] I bought an American L and it was like a tent
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teep_
06/16/21 4:02:07 PM
#11:


Tag for when I read it later
---
currently watching:
86 EIGHTY-SIX (Sub)
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OffTempo
06/16/21 8:30:26 PM
#12:


B2

Its good to see the story back. You're doing great work tc.

---
Interviewer: "You're not even a superhero you're more of a vampire slayer."
Blade: "Don't do that"
... Copied to Clipboard!
teep_
06/17/21 12:10:34 AM
#13:


B4
---
currently watching:
86 EIGHTY-SIX (Sub)
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nikko004
06/18/21 2:57:01 AM
#14:


Bump, also
@LNSS Heya, saw you were interested in the slime CYOA, you might like this one too which is the current CYOA i'm doing

---
How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
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nikko004
06/19/21 4:09:24 AM
#15:


Up

---
How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
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nikko004
06/20/21 4:00:38 AM
#16:


and up

---
How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
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Chicken
06/20/21 4:17:48 AM
#17:


Engage CBT and become the CBT Wizard

---
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OffTempo
06/21/21 12:12:27 AM
#18:


Bumpity

---
Interviewer: "You're not even a superhero you're more of a vampire slayer."
Blade: "Don't do that"
... Copied to Clipboard!
nikko004
06/22/21 2:21:03 AM
#19:


Uppity

---
How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
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nikko004
06/23/21 3:15:53 AM
#20:


doggity

---
How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
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Chicken
06/24/21 12:48:59 AM
#21:


no CBT Wizard no care

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Eevee-Trainer
06/24/21 3:29:46 AM
#22:


Chicken posted...
no CBT Wizard no care
go hijack someone else's thread

---
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Naysaspace
06/24/21 3:33:28 AM
#23:


a4
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teep_
06/25/21 1:32:01 AM
#24:


Up
---
currently watching:
86 EIGHTY-SIX (Sub)
... Copied to Clipboard!
nikko004
06/25/21 8:36:23 PM
#25:


B4) Take it sneakily with Smogs daughter

How convenient. Ill be right back with your stupid heart then-- You feel a twinge of pain on your arm. Punching with all your might back there probably wasnt a good idea.

No need to rush now. She does a little stretch, then makes herself comfortable in her spot. Lets catch up for a bit, I havent seen you in centuries!

Im running out of time, Smog! I cant afford to--

Merlin. She snarls. Dont forget. The hats just a Wizard Bandaid. All were doing is slowing down the curse.

She coughs up, really straining her throat. Egh...quite frankly, I dont even know if Ill be around by the time your curse acts up again. Well, assuming the whole Ice Dragon heart thing works out.

You raise an eyebrow. Wait, the hells that supposed to mean?

Im getting old, Merlin. Ive lived through a handful of millennia. For dragons, thats a lot.

You look down. So even you have an expiration date, huh?

She chuckles with a cough. Everything does, boy. Though, I guess youre the only exception, thanks to your recklessness.

Lets hope I remain the only exception. Immortality isnt worth this wretched curse.

She pulls the brim of your hat down. Oh shush. Youre still a child to me. Go beat my age, then you can start complaining about the years going by.

You readjust your hat. I can hardly wait. Anyway, I had another thing for you to look at.

Its the chair, isnt it?

You untie it from your back and set the chair in front of her.

It rattles in fear. H-hey pal, you feeding me to this giant monster?! Is this a real fucking dragon?! I thought they were gone!

Relax, I havent eaten steel...yet. She says with a grin. Then she leans her head closer to it and squints. Hmmm, this ones curse has been around for decades now. Surprised the caster of the curse is still alive.

Still havent figured out any new ways of dispelling curses, besides killing the caster? you say.

She shrugs. Believe me, Ive been looking for centuries. Got nothing besides snuffing out the source, or letting the curse complete itself.

Shit pal, I dont even remember who did this to me. Does this mean Im fucked?!

"Hard to say." She shakes her head. "Tell you what Merlin, leave this one with me for a while. I might be able to figure something out, just like I did with you."

You nod. "Glad I can trust you. Anyways, I'm off to--"

"Wait. While we're handing out favors, I got one to ask of you." She points down to the lady that attacked you, currently in the middle of walking her injury off. "Y'see, up here, my daughter and I have been rather... indifferent to Wizard society. She doesn't know much about the world outside of this mountain. Maybe you could help with that?"

"You want me to babysit your kid."

She laughs. "She's far from a baby, or a kid, you know.

You glance below to see her daughter limping. She trips on her broken leg, falling into the snow headfirst like an ostrich. You look back at Smog.

Smog grins awkwardly. Dragons are pretty tenacious, am I right? Look, Im not asking much here. If I go down there, everyone will flip their tits.

You sigh. Alright, Ill do it. Answer me this though, whered she learn to use Chi?

She looks to the horizon. Her late father. Just like you, he knew there was an untapped well of energy deep within us.

Interesting. Surprised another Wizard was able to discover Chi. Im guessing he wasnt a dragon?

She nods.

The chair rattles. You? And some dude? Like a tenth of your size?

Yep.

You and him. Made her?

Yup.

He fucked a dragon?!

She chuckles. Oh my little steel friend, there is much for you to learn.

You turn around and walk to the edge. Right. So. Im gonna go down there now, where there is a lot less talk about fucking. Go get your daughter.

Smog whistles. Smore! Could you fly our guest to the city below?

Smore pops her head out of the snow and spreads her wings out. Yes, mother.

She soars to the sky, then swoops down to grab you by the back of your robes.

You feel like a newborn being carried by a stork.

...Heavy. is all she says, in a deadpan tone.

Smog waves you both off. "Listen to Merlin, alright darling?"



Youre both flying just above the castle now. Hopefully people think youre both just a big bird. How do you approach this stealth operation?

A) Crash through the nearest empty room thats also closest to the throne room
B) Theres an aqueduct that passes under the castle, enter through that
C) Beat up some guards and then disguise yourselves, and wander through the castle

---
How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
... Copied to Clipboard!
Eevee-Trainer
06/25/21 8:44:04 PM
#26:


B

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DrizztLink
06/25/21 8:53:10 PM
#27:


C

Merlin will always be a graduate of the Solid Snake School of Stealth

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Alakazamtrainer
06/25/21 9:00:15 PM
#28:


B
---
Just a someone
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OffTempo
06/25/21 10:02:24 PM
#29:


A

---
Interviewer: "You're not even a superhero you're more of a vampire slayer."
Blade: "Don't do that"
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Kircheis
06/25/21 11:34:53 PM
#30:


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teep_
06/26/21 3:01:26 AM
#31:


C
---
truth is, the game was rigged from the start
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Tsukasa1891
06/26/21 8:53:32 AM
#32:


B.
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nikko004
06/27/21 2:34:26 AM
#33:


Up, right now we have a tie between B and C

---
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badjay
06/27/21 3:13:34 AM
#34:


C. if you aren't punching peeps what are you even doing.

---
[05:45:34] I bought an American L and it was like a tent
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nikko004
06/28/21 5:22:10 AM
#35:


bump

---
How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
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nikko004
06/29/21 2:16:52 AM
#36:


jump

---
How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
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nikko004
06/30/21 4:08:56 AM
#37:


will attempt update tomorrow

---
How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
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OffTempo
06/30/21 2:48:30 PM
#38:


Sounds good, take your time

---
Interviewer: "You're not even a superhero you're more of a vampire slayer."
Blade: "Don't do that"
... Copied to Clipboard!
nikko004
07/01/21 4:12:46 AM
#39:


C) Beat up some guards and then disguise yourselves, and wander through the castle

"Alright Smore, so here's the plan. See those guards down there?" You point to a pair of guards sitting by a back door, all cozy on a table with food and drinks. They seem to be on lunch break. "We fuck em up and use their uniforms to sneak in. Then just follow my lead."

"We...fuck them?"

"No. That's code for, we beat them up."

"Affirmative, we are killing them."

You pinch the bridge of your nose. "Smore. We are just knocking them out. No killing. Got it?"

You're really directing that "no killing" thing to yourself more than anyone.

She nods. "Affirmative. Let's begin."

She swings you round and round, hammer-throwing you right into one of the guards.

Before the other guard could react, Smore crashes into her.

She looks around. No one else is around. She gives you a thumbs up with a blank face. "They appear to be unconscious."

You get up and adjust your robes. "Well I appear to have wanted a fucking warning. Get their robes already.

The two of you wear their uniforms on top of your current outfits. You then throw the underwear-clad guards into the bushes so no one sees them.

Although, the uniforms look to be a few sizes too small on you two. It looks more like a tunic rather than a robe.

She puts her hood up. This feels silly.

You also hide your face with your hood. Itll probably get sillier. You yank a piece of bread from the table and head into the backdoor.

She also grabs a piece of bread and follows suit.

Its fairly large inside, with polished stones for walls and small fountains indented in the walls. A lot of fountains actually.

Curiously, you lean over to drink from it.

Smore sees this and does the same with the fountain adjacent to yours.

Dudes, a guard says from behind, Are...are you guys drinking the Divine Waters?

You turn around quickly, still with water running down your mouth. Uh...we are--

Smore turns around casually and clears her throat. Thirsty.

The guard spaces out. Thats kinda fucked up--

You slap him into the wall, knocking him out. Alright, lets keep going.

She follows behind you. Should we not hide the body?

Honestly, I cant give enough of a shit anymore. Lets just get to the stupid Queen and get this over with.

You take a turn into a long hallway. So, whats your deal?

I dont understand the question.

That. Who the fuck talks like that.

She tilts her head. Mother has had no problems with my speech. She even praises me.

A nearby guard sees you and approaches you. Hey, theres word about an intruder here, have you seen--

You slap him outta the way. Your mother says all kinds of bullshit, alright? Like cmon, what has she said about me? I bet its wrong.

Another nearby guard saw your act and runs up to you. Hey, what the fuck--

Smore kicks his head into the wall. She has mentioned being friends with the most powerful Wizard in the land. Able to command mana as naturally as breathing. If that is indeed you, then I suppose my mother is wrong for once.

You end up at some winding stairs and climb it. Oh yeah? What makes you say that?

She sporadically moves her hands against the wall. To me, you are made of nothing but Chi. Not a single strand of mana covers your body. Also, I see someone positioned at the top of these stairs.

These stairs still have a ways to go, with the top nowhere in sight. You look over to her masked face, which has her open eyes peeking out. Well, your mother didnt skip out on training your mana vision. You saw that with your eyes open?

She tilts her head. Mana vision?

You sigh. Okay, nevermind, your mother sucks at this. The glowing strings and shit? Wasnt that what you saw?

She stumbles a bit on a stair step, then regains her footing after feeling the wall more. Thats all I ever see, sir Merlin. My mother has told me my eyes are different from human Wizards.

You reach the top, and as expected, a guard is there.

He turns around after hearing footsteps. Oh, are you patrolling? I heard some racket downstairs, did you see any--

You backhand his head. Wait, so, youre blind? Kinda?

Mother has not taught me that word.

You let out a long sigh and take a bite out of your bread. She taught you the word Fuck but not Blind?

She looks at her bread and bites it after you did. Mother has not taught me that word either. You have informed me it means beating someone up.

You sweat a bit. Right. Yes. Uh, dont ever tell your mother I taught you that.

Another guard approaches you. Hey--

You grab him by the throat. Hi. Is this the way to where they keep any Dragon Hearts?

He coughs. Uh...you mean the Great Heart of Wizard Atlanta?

Sure. Sounds like something youd call a Dragon Heart.

Yeah, its in the throne room, straight ahead. You guys new at this job?--

You chokeslam him into the ground. Thanks.

After a bit more walking, another guard approaches.

Smore grabs him by the throat. Hello. She then chokeslams him.

You scratch your beard. Why are you doing that.

She scratches her chin. Doing what?

That.

Mother told me to listen to you. You told me to follow your lead.

You massage your temples. Goddamn, youre like a golem.

She doesnt respond to that one.



You finally arrive at the doors of the throne room. You kick it open.

Inside, you see a small crowd of people lined up in front of a lady dressed in a sapphire-colored robe. Shes kneeled in front of one of them, who is lying down in a small pool of water.

A) Hey. So. Theres an intruder. You should all evacuate.
B) Ill make this quick. Hand over the Ice Dragon Heart.
C) Line up among the people while observing her actions

---
How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
... Copied to Clipboard!
DrizztLink
07/01/21 5:25:41 AM
#40:


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Tsukasa1891
07/01/21 8:04:04 AM
#41:


B.
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Eevee-Trainer
07/01/21 8:53:52 AM
#42:


B

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Alakazamtrainer
07/01/21 10:03:59 AM
#43:


A.
---
Just a someone
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Kircheis
07/01/21 11:10:10 AM
#44:


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badjay
07/01/21 1:26:13 PM
#45:


A. don't let her use it!

---
[05:45:34] I bought an American L and it was like a tent
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OffTempo
07/01/21 2:38:44 PM
#46:


A

---
Interviewer: "You're not even a superhero you're more of a vampire slayer."
Blade: "Don't do that"
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OffTempo
07/03/21 1:48:55 AM
#47:


Bump

---
Interviewer: "You're not even a superhero you're more of a vampire slayer."
Blade: "Don't do that"
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nikko004
07/04/21 3:17:26 AM
#48:


Up

---
How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
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nikko004
07/05/21 3:43:11 AM
#49:


and again

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How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
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nikko004
07/06/21 3:22:20 AM
#50:


another one (also belated 4th)

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