Current Events > There is a buxom girl at work. I don't look but I worry...

(+) Yeah! (+)

When in conversation my eyes will do a 1/10th a second look that I won't even realize I do, but she will notice.

I'm a pretty aloof person, plus like, nobody can prevent 1/10th second looks, they are just going ot happen randomly.

Anybody else worry about this?

To be clear, I'm pretty confident my eyes have never looked. I have no intention of looking, I honestly don't care that much and have no libido, I just fear that I will accidentally look.

---

Creeps?

---

She's trying to get you canned

AldousIsDead posted...

Creeps?

So only creeps are considerate? I don't understand

---

I'm calling you a creep.

---

AldousIsDead posted...

I'm calling you a creep.

Why?

---

You're posting on a video game forum about how "considerate" you are for not looking at your "buxom" co-worker's breasts. You tell me why I might think to call you a creep.

---

AldousIsDead posted...

You're posting on a video game forum about how "considerate" you are for not looking at your "buxom" co-worker's breasts. You tell me why I might think to call you a creep.

I honestly don't understand.

I'm not saying I'm being amazing or anything, just that it is inappropriate to ever look at somebody's boobs at work, and so I don't.

There is no way to spin that to be creepy.

---

No spin needed.

---

AldousIsDead posted...

No spin needed.

So looking at coworker's boobs is the not creepy thing to do?

---

just stare at her while licking your lips and bat your eye lashes as well

---

Not being hung up about potentially glancing at someone's chest would be a start.

Not being self congratulatory about said weird hangup would also work.

---

You can avoid glancing. You lack discipline TC.

Establish dominance first by staring her dead in the eye whenever she speaks to you and looking past her line of sight if she isn't. Give her the D for DISRESPECT.

Soon she will acknowledge your manliness and purposely try to make you look in an attempt to seduce you.

---

now i am rereading through topic and it's quite clear that TC is a respectful individual.

AldousIsDead posted...

You're posting on a video game forum about how "considerate" you are for not looking at your "buxom" co-worker's breasts. You tell me why I might think to call you a creep.

Going WAY over your head. Nothing creepy about respecting women.

---

Distract yourself from her boobs by staring at her ass instead.

---

AldousIsDead posted...

Not being hung up about potentially glancing at someone's chest would be a start.

Not being self congratulatory about said weird hangup would also work.

Why wouldn't it bother you to not want to accidentally look? It's quite rude to look, even if it's an accident.

---

BloodMoon7 posted...

You can avoid glancing. You lack discipline TC.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIWbyE1Af8Y

---

joe40001 posted...

Why wouldn't it bother you to not want to accidentally look? It's quite rude to look, even if it's an accident.

If it's an accident, it's an accident. By being bothered by it, you're making it a bigger issue than it otherwise might be and in doing so, you're being far more disrespectful about it. Just move on.

---

BloodMoon7 posted...

If it's an accident, it's an accident. By being bothered by it, you're making it a bigger issue than it otherwise might be and in doing so, you're being far more disrespectful about it. Just move on.

I don't understand the logic here. How is caring more about being disrespectful more disrespectful, and not caring if you are disrespectful more respectful?

---

joe40001 posted...

Why wouldn't it bother you to not want to accidentally look? It's quite rude to look, even if it's an accident.

I'm going to assume you mean why am I not bothered by accidentally looking. Because I'm not a manchild who thinks he's being some kind of saint for awkwardly not looking at someone's chest. If you were capable of organic human interaction this would not be difficult to grasp.

---

joe40001 posted...

I don't understand the logic here. How is caring more about being disrespectful more disrespectful, and not caring if you are disrespectful more respectful?

ignore them and keep respecting women

---

joe40001 posted...

I don't understand the logic here. How is caring more about being disrespectful more disrespectful, and not caring if you are disrespectful more respectful?

By caring more about not being disrespectful, you're defeating the purpose of respect. Let her decide if she feels that you were disrespectful. Explain that it was unintentional, apologize and move on. It's not like I'm telling you not to care at all but you have to trust in the other person as a crucial part of showing courtesy. By treating the situation and by extension her, as a fragile thing, don't you think that's rude as well? You're both grown ups, it's clear you don't trust yourself not to look and you're projecting your insecurity onto her. You should trust your co-worker to understand if it's truly an accident on your part.

You could also stop being weird about this, like imagine if she knew about this thread. She'd feel pretty terrible.

---

AldousIsDead posted...

I'm going to assume you me why am I not bothered by accidentally looking. Because I'm not a manchild who thinks he's being some kind of saint for awkwardly not looking at someone's chest. If you were capable of organic human interaction this would not be difficult to grasp.

I didn't say I was a saint. But yes I don't understand why accidentally looking wouldn't bother you. Because of course the person wouldn't know if your look was accidental or not.

---

BloodMoon7 posted...

Thank you for making a point in a more constructive manner than I was going to.

---

joe40001 posted...

I didn't say I was a saint. But yes I don't understand why accidentally looking wouldn't bother you. Because of course the person wouldn't know if your look was accidental or not.

Oh look, it's a boob. A lot of people have those.

---

BloodMoon7 posted...

By caring more about not being disrespectful, you're defeating the purpose of respect. Let her decide if she feels that you were disrespectful. Explain that it was unintentional, apologize and move on. It's not like I'm telling you not to care at all but you have to trust in the other person as a crucial part of showing courtesy. By treating the situation and by extension her, as a fragile thing, don't you think that's rude as well? You're both grown ups, it's clear you don't trust yourself not to look and you're projecting your insecurity onto her. You should trust your co-worker to understand if it's truly an accident on your part.

You could also stop being weird about this, like imagine if she knew about this thread. She'd feel pretty terrible.

I can't imagine a person feeling terrible for a private conversation others have. Why would that make a person feel terrible?

I also just generally don't track your logic, it almost seems to imply it's respectful to be somewhat rude to people with the assumption being "they are an adult, they can handle it".

Obviously being intentionally rude would be bad, but I also understand how not being not unintentionally rude wouldn't also be bad.

---

AldousIsDead posted...

Oh look, it's a boob. A lot of people have those.

I know, but it is rude to look even unintentionally, and you could make the person quite uncomfortable if they noticed you looking.

---

You make people uncomfortable by being in the same room with them.

---

Because it's unintentional. An accident. In terms of things you could do to someone without meaning to, glancing at her boob for 1 millisecond is like... Why does it matter to you? It's not like you accidentally ran over her pet, you just looked at her boob. It probably wouldn't matter to her that much if she noticed it and I'm not saying that makes it ok.

But if you didn't mean to, it really should stop there for such a small offense that may not even be offensive to the person in question. Just stop. Thinking. About it. And move on.

---

AldousIsDead posted...

You make people uncomfortable by being in the same room with them.

What makes you say that?

---

You made this topic.

---

Shit happens. If you look, you look, and you can cross that bridge when you come to it. Nobody is perfect all the time.

when you fixate on trying to not do something, you just make it harder on yourself. Relax, dont worry about it.

though I will say that if you find it difficult not to fixate on certain things, or if certain thoughts continue to intrude your mind, you may consider seeing a psychiatrist. You might have OCD or some other sort of anxiety disorder.

---

BloodMoon7 posted...

Because it's unintentional. An accident. In terms of things you could do to someone without meaning to, glancing at her boob for 1 millisecond is like... Why does it matter to you? It's not like you accidentally ran over her pet, you just looked at her boob. It probably wouldn't matter to her that much if she noticed it and I'm not saying that makes it ok.

By acknowledging it's not ok you are basically agreeing with me.

It's not a huge deal probably, but it is something bad that is annoyingly potentially unavoidable.

It bothers me more because it seems like a domain where intention isn't the most important factor, in dynamics like that society seems to think intention is not the limiting factor but how something is perceived, in which case we all basically become accountable for how we could be perceived, which again, I don't understand why other people aren't more stressed by that.

---

AldousIsDead posted...

You made this topic.

And?

---

AlisLandale posted...

Shit happens. If you look, you look, and you can cross that bridge when you come to it. Nobody is perfect all the time.

when you fixate on trying to not do something, you just make it harder on yourself. Relax, dont worry about it.

That makes more sense. It's not that a person shouldn't care because they shouldn't care, but they shouldn't care because caring too much is a suboptimal strategy for not making the error you care about not making.

Thanks, this is helpful.

---

AldousIsDead posted...

I'm going to assume you mean why am I not bothered by accidentally looking. Because I'm not a manchild who thinks he's being some kind of saint for awkwardly not looking at someone's chest. If you were capable of organic human interaction this would not be difficult to grasp.

If you acknowledge he is incapable of organic human interaction why are you being so hard on him? It makes you look like a you are just trying to pick on an easy target.

---

We're not treating the most basic of human interaction as some kind of grand coliseum of intent, action, bullshit pontificating, and perception, probably.

---

IfGodCouldDie posted...

If you acknowledge he is incapable of organic human interaction why are you being so hard on him? It makes you look like a you are just trying to pick on an easy target.

I am.

---

AldousIsDead posted...

I am.

That is really cowardly behavior, I hope you find a solution to your problems that don't require you trying to bring others down to your level of misery.

---

IfGodCouldDie posted...

That is really cowardly behavior, I hope you find a solution to your problems that don't require you trying to bring others down to that level of misery.

I don't have a lot of sympathy for this particular specimen. If you want to try to be constructive with him you're absolutely welcome to. I'd wager it won't do much good.

---

AldousIsDead posted...

I don't have a lot of sympathy for this particular specimen. If you want to try to be constructive with him you're absolutely welcome to. I'd wager it won't do much good.

Lmao, wow.

---

AldousIsDead posted...

I don't have a lot of sympathy for this particular specimen. If you want to try to be constructive with him you're absolutely welcome to. I'd wager it won't do much good.

You've made your character very clear, I've tagged you appropriately. Have a nice life and please seek help.

---

I won't, but don't let me stop you from trying to help the TC. Knock yourself out.

---

doesnt matter if its 1/10 of a second. since you cant avoid it and you're gonna be seen as a perv anyway. just stare at them.

---

So there you go @joe40001 that guy harassing you just admitted you can disregard everything they ever say in any topic. They only came in here to try and bully you because of their own problems in their own life.

---

Nice pics

---

IfGodCouldDie posted...

You've made your character very clear, I've tagged you appropriately. Have a nice life and please seek help.

i tagged that meanie too.

holy shit.

---

IfGodCouldDie posted...

So there you go @joe40001 that guy harassing you just admitted you can disregard everything they ever say in any topic. They only came in here to try and bully you because of their own problems in their own life.

Thanks.

Me being confused by some stuff like this is further reason why I've wanted to get a formal diagnosis to see if I'm on the spectrum, because some things seem kinda confusing for me sometimes. But maybe it's must weird, idk

---

Her - So excel is crazy huh?

You - God Damn, Ill give you my car if you slap my face with those mommy milkers. Please be hasty Mommy!

---