Current Events > My wife died in her sleep last night...

(+) Yeah! (+)

Oh fuck, thats what I do professionally too and some days its the absolute hardest to stay out of your own head. I put on podcasts or watch cartoons on my phone while I cut just to avoid getting too in-my-own-head. Good luck dude.

Also today at work I put music on and when I was dancing I thought of your wife and this topic.

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Future_Trunks posted...

whats the best bang for your buck meat to buy

Really depends on what your local store has on sale really. Though I usually avoid the bottom rounds and top rounds when they're on sale. Practically shoe leather unless you have the patience to cook it because they're a low and slow type of meat.

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Best bang for your buck is learning how to cook shitty cuts, particularly the rounds (eye, top, and bottom). A good marinade will go a long way, needs to be acidic to break down the toughness.

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It is too damn expensive. Beef tenderloin/fillets are even worse.

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Yeah Ive been opting for strips over ribs recently cuz my store keeps those on sale like 70% of the time and our ribs dont usually have much internal marbling. But mostly I just opt for chicken.

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Speaking of which her birthday is in a few days. I think I'll cook her favorite. Pepper steak. She always loved the way I cooked it. Said it tasted just like her sisters.

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First day back at work since she passed. I'll probably make the pepper steak tomorrow. I need a top sirloin cap to cut into stir fry meat. As for the recipe here. Kinda cheating but she loved it.

https://www.mccormick.com/recipes/main-dishes/weeknight-pepper-steak

I just use two pounds of meat otherwise it can be more veg then meat. And actual pepper instead of ginger like the recipe calls for.

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Well thought about her a lot at work. Was able to keep it together.

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I am so sorry for your loss. It's an issue very close to home for me.

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DeadlyNinjaBees posted...

I am so sorry for your loss. It's an issue very close to home for me.

Oh really?

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DarthDemented posted...

Oh really?

Yeah man. My wife has REALLY advanced cancer. Life is continually terrifying.
What has happened to you is currently the most intrusive thign I think about in my life. I obsess over wakign up and making sure she's still breathing. I'm just terrified ALL the time.

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DarthDemented posted...

First day back at work since she passed. I'll probably make the pepper steak tomorrow. I need a top sirloin cap to cut into stir fry meat. As for the recipe here. Kinda cheating but she loved it.

https://www.mccormick.com/recipes/main-dishes/weeknight-pepper-steak

I just use two pounds of meat otherwise it can be more veg then meat. And actual pepper instead of ginger like the recipe calls for.

This looks good! Also thank you for posting the actual recipe. I hate it when authors give me their life stories before they tell me how to cook the damn thing

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DeadlyNinjaBees posted...

Yeah man. My wife has REALLY advanced cancer. Life is continually terrifying.
What has happened to you is currently the most intrusive thign I think about in my life. I obsess over wakign up and making sure she's still breathing. I'm just terrified ALL the time.

Ouch, buddy. Hope she kicks it because fuck cancer. Colon cancer killed my dad and brain cancer got my aunt.

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DeadlyNinjaBees posted...

Yeah man. My wife has REALLY advanced cancer. Life is continually terrifying.
What has happened to you is currently the most intrusive thign I think about in my life. I obsess over wakign up and making sure she's still breathing. I'm just terrified ALL the time.

Fuck man Im so sorry that this is happening to her and that you have to mentally experience what youre going through. I cant even pretend to imagine.

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DarthDemented posted...

First day back at work since she passed. I'll probably make the pepper steak tomorrow. I need a top sirloin cap to cut into stir fry meat. As for the recipe here. Kinda cheating but she loved it.

https://www.mccormick.com/recipes/main-dishes/weeknight-pepper-steak

I just use two pounds of meat otherwise it can be more veg then meat. And actual pepper instead of ginger like the recipe calls for.

I'm ganking this recipe. I love pepper steak but not thrilled about my mixture for the gravy/sauce. It's lacking...something, just not sure what. I'll give this a shot.

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Valjackal posted...

I'm ganking this recipe. I love pepper steak but not thrilled about my mixture for the gravy/sauce. It's lacking...something, just not sure what. I'll give this a shot.

My version double ups the meat and brown gravy packets.

Edit: also double up the pepper and soy sauce in the gravy mix

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It's after midnight here and officially April 1st. Today would've been her birthday.

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Valjackal posted...

I'm ganking this recipe. I love pepper steak but not thrilled about my mixture for the gravy/sauce. It's lacking...something, just not sure what. I'll give this a shot.

I was about to say the same.

I also appreciate the recipe itself because it doesn't give me the author's life story like a lot of sites tend to do. God, that's my pet peeve.

Also, happy birthday to her. Hope you're holding up as best as you can.

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DarthDemented posted...

She could have a quick wit and could appreciate humor from high brow to a poop joke.

This got a laugh out of me. Not in a bad way, but a "that reminds me of my wife kind of way."

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I can't even imagine. Or I should say, I can only imagine. I'm getting married soon, and the thought has crossed my mind of having to deal with a situation like that.

You should know, and you probably do know/have been told, but from what you described you were everything a partner would want her husband to be dealing with a situation like that, especially for years on end. You did an amazing job, and you were with her until the very end. I can only hope I would be able to do the same. God bless you and I pray he gives you all the strength you need to take care of yourself and your son.

Of course I'm sure there will be nights like you've had, restless, hopeless. But that isn't what it will always be, you'll be able to have peace again, someday, whenever that may be. And you deserve that peace, because you know you saw through your duties as a husband the whole way through. Don't get hung up on that one night where you don't know for sure what could have been different. Instead remember the years where you were there for each other, and those moments of joy you got to share.

DarthDemented posted...

It's after midnight here and officially April 1st. Today would've been her birthday.

Then today we dance

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King_Hellebuyck posted...

Then today we dance

And drink and fuck in her name! She would've laughed over that one. She did when we first heard it in that spartacus show

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I have noticed lately that my son sleeps like hear. Breathes loud enough I can hear him in the next room and snores every now and then. No sleep talking. Though I gotta admit I thought heard her cough the other night.

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DarthDemented posted...

Ouch, buddy. Hope she kicks it because fuck cancer. Colon cancer killed my dad and brain cancer got my aunt.

She's incredibly resilient. If anyone can, it's her!

King_Hellebuyck posted...

f*** man Im so sorry that this is happening to her and that you have to mentally experience what youre going through. I cant even pretend to imagine.

I've only just started taking responsibility in getting therapy now tbh. My resilience has been good over the past years, but I didn't catch myself at the tipping point because I thought I was coping.
I have something called "hyper vigilance" as a psychological thing (never heard of it) and I kinda over prepare for things that I deem to be a potential threat.
There have been some odd behaviours I've engaged in that I'd never would have associated with myself.

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Apparently I'm still having trouble sleeping. Woke up ass early yesterday for work. Didn't go to sleep till after 4 this morning.

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I just read through and got caught up on this. I'm definitely a lurker these days, but I wanted to say that I wish you and your son well. I've been clicking on the links to check out things I normally wouldn't care about (urns, recipes).

I sent you a friend request on steam because I saw your wishlist and wanted to get you Curse of the Moon 2. Even if it might be a while until you get around to it I'd still like to get it for you. Video games and books have always helped me with grief, and hopefully it can help you too sometime.

The friend request is also from eleventyish.

Eleventyish posted...

I just read through and got caught up on this. I'm definitely a lurker these days, but I wanted to say that I wish you and your son well. I've been clicking on the links to check out things I normally wouldn't care about (urns, recipes).

I sent you a friend request on steam because I saw your wishlist and wanted to get you Curse of the Moon 2. Even if it might be a while until you get around to it I'd still like to get it for you. Video games and books have always helped me with grief, and hopefully it can help you too sometime.

The friend request is also from eleventyish.

Video games usually help with the death of loved ones. When it's something this close the depression is real. More than once I've had to force myself to start playing. Once I do I'm able to get to playing for what a normal gaming session for me would be. I was playing my ps3 that night, which might have something to do with it, but I know she wouldn't want me to give up what I love doing altogether.

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Eleventyish posted...

I just read through and got caught up on this. I'm definitely a lurker these days, but I wanted to say that I wish you and your son well. I've been clicking on the links to check out things I normally wouldn't care about (urns, recipes).

I sent you a friend request on steam because I saw your wishlist and wanted to get you Curse of the Moon 2. Even if it might be a while until you get around to it I'd still like to get it for you. Video games and books have always helped me with grief, and hopefully it can help you too sometime.

The friend request is also from eleventyish.

What a nice thing to do! Good on you bro.

Sorry for your loss TC, there isnt much I can say but hope you feel better soon

shockthemonkey posted...

Oh man I mustve missed this post between switching accounts but thats a damn good line

Yeah it is. We quoted it to our friends (explaining the context of course) and debated how long it took to get that scene because there's no way Dustin Clare and Liam McIntyre held it together while filming it.

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