Current Events > My wife died in her sleep last night...

(+) Yeah! (+)

DarthDemented posted...

Her sister died the same way around the same age. They left the autopsy up to my mother in law. But then again that was about 18 years ago so things have probably changed around my area.

I never did crash though. Managed a short nap a few hours ago but can't wind down.

If there's anyway to do it, have your child tested to see if they are at any risk of this, if this is a genetic issue. My grandfather died due to something hemochromatosis-related and his sacrifice brought awareness to me and my brother, so we get phlebotomies to avoid that from happening to us.

I dunno anything about your wife's condition, but I'd try to use this to preserve the safety of your child, since this apparently isn't a single incident in her bloodline.

That being said, hugs to you TC. I'm an emotional person, and I cried reading this.

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XxKrebsxX posted...

Whats RA? Google search comes up with Rheumatoid Arthritis?

That's right. Most people still lead active lives with it but I think we caught it when it was way to late and the damage was starting.

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That's absolutely terrible, TC. My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

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Just bought a ticket to a st Paddy's day virtual concert to one of our favorite Irish bands is putting on tonight. Hope she can hear it wherever she is.

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Oh yeah I forgot to mention she was a cat person. She loved dogs too. She always said you could give her a barrel of kittens and she'd be able to come up with unique names for every one of them. When were dating my dog had a litter of puppies. When she came over before a date she wanted to pick up each and every puppy and give them a kiss and a cuddle before we could leave

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Well a bit of good news from the family. Her nephew and his wife had their baby today. I know my wife would've been in love and ready to cuddle that baby as soon as she could get her hands on him.

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I've decided to give in and have a go with the pain numbing effects of alcohol for one night. St Pat's right? It's what she would've wanted. To drink and celebrate her life. Watching the St Pat's show from gaelic storm and got me some alcohol going. Happy St Pat's day me boys!

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Happy St. Patricks Day Darth. I'm sure she's approving of it all, and is happy you are looking in a positive light and trying to enjoy the holiday. No passing person would want their loved ones to sink. I am sure she's happy you are celebrating. I don't drink, but cheers to you!

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Just stay safe and in control. But I hope you have a damn fine couple of drinks.

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DarthDemented posted...

I've decided to give in and have a go with the pain numbing effects of alcohol for one night. St Pat's right? It's what she would've wanted. To drink and celebrate her life. Watching the St Pat's show from gaelic storm and got me some alcohol going. Happy St Pat's day me boys!

Long-term reliance on drink / drugs to deal with it is bad.

One night, or even a couple of days, of it, might be exactly what you need at this stage, though. Be careful, but do it if it helps. It might be a good idea to do it with a couple of close friends / family members rather than alone or in a public place, though.

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Trumble posted...

It might be a good idea to do it with a couple of close friends / family members rather than alone or in a public place, though.

I second and third this. If you're going to drink, drink with others.

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Trumble posted...

Long-term reliance on drink / drugs to deal with it is bad.

One night, or even a couple of days, of it, might be exactly what you need at this stage, though. Be careful, but do it if it helps. It might be a good idea to do it with a couple of close friends / family members rather than alone or in a public place, though.

I don't plan on long term. Just for tonight. I feel like she was with me for the Gaelic storm concert because I was oddly in a great mood for it.

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She sounds like a wonderful person TC.

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unknownhombre posted...

She sounds like a wonderful person TC.

If you knew her like I did you'd know. She did her best to be a good friend, wife, and mother as she could be.


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About to go make arrangements for the funeral. Hopefully I can get a cause of death. At least have that closure

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Hang in there, friend.

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Funeral arrangements are done. As soon as an obituary is posted I'll link it

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https://www.holdenfunerals.com/obituary/paula-wood

That was fast.

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I was just thinking about it and it's so amazing how after just describing her and telling you all some of the stuff she'd done in her life, many of you would be her friend if given the chance. That's just how she was. She could easily make friends with anyone.

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Just a heads up that I think they've got the funeral date wrong in the obituary. Says it's on March 16th.

Hope you're hanging in there okay. Funerals can be oddly cathartic way to process grief. A way to celebrate her life with others who loved her.

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Darmik posted...

Just a heads up that I think they've got the funeral date wrong in the obituary. Says it's on March 16th.

Hope you're hanging in there okay. Funerals can be oddly cathartic way to process grief. A way to celebrate her life with others who loved her.

Thanks. I'll let him know

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TC do you plan on looking into therapy?
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One_Day_Remains posted...

TC do you plan on looking into therapy?

I don't know. My son is already in counciling for his ADHD. His councilor offered to help me to, at least this next session anyway.

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Beautifully written obituary. I wrote the obit for my dad and found the experience cathartic. She sounds like she had a very positive impact on those in her life.

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Three of her sisters passed away before her!! How can their parents cope with that??

Did they succumbed to a related genetic condition??

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Hey Im sorry to hear of your loss

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Very sorry for you and your family.

RIP.

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mattfrank posted...

Three of her sisters passed away before her!! How can their parents cope with that??

Did they succumbed to a related genetic condition??

Peggy died stillborn, sherry died from a car accident, and we never really did find out what killed Denise. When I was at the funeral home today they weren't able to give me an official cause of death because autopsy results aren't final yet but hinted at it being her heart.

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I am sorry for your loss.

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Sorry for your loss

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My condolences, TC. I couldn't imagine losing my wife or child. Stay strong for your son.

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I am so sorry.
I pray for your comfort and your families.

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I'm grateful for the continued support and condolences guys. It's been 5 days and still doesn't feel real. I've been sleeping with her favorite stuffed animal and sometimes talking to the air like she's still here. I don't know how healthy that is but I keep doing it

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<3

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There's a guestbook on her obituary if anyone wants to say anything for the whole family to see.

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DarthDemented posted...

I'm grateful for the continued support and condolences guys. It's been 5 days and still doesn't feel real. I've been sleeping with her favorite stuffed animal and sometimes talking to the air like she's still here. I don't know how healthy that is but I keep doing it

Its perfectly fine. You are going through deep grief. It is healthy for you to talk about it and have someone to express your feelings too.
Hang in there and make sure your son is okay. If you're feeling this depressed, kids can sense it and take on some of that. At his age, he's too young to be able to cope so please make sure you're paying attention to him and assessing him to see how he's doing.

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We're gonna be talking to his counselor today about it. I called him earlier this week so he knew what he was walking into today

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Got a call from the school counselor tonight. The school is gonna be ready to help my son where he needs it.

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Goodness, TC, that's a lot to handle. There's nothing I can say to comfort someone in this situation, but I wish you the best of luck in navigating these turbulent waters.

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Had a hard time sleeping last night. Every time I closed my eyes I kept going back to that night. The way she looked, pumping her chest for cpr, counting out loud for 911, the way I went from "let's do this" to desperation as it wasn't working.

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DarthDemented posted...

Had a hard time sleeping last night. Every time I closed my eyes I kept going back to that night. The way she looked, pumping her chest for cpr, counting out loud for 911, the way I went from "let's do this" to desperation as it wasn't working.

Do you have the opportunity to go to counseling and/or therapy? I feel like this is something that would really benefit from intervention from a mental health professional right away.

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Man, I really second the part about the three other sisters passing before, I cannot imagine going on if I lost my son, let alone going through the deaths of four children!

Hang in there, friend.

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Jeff AKA Snoopy posted...

Do you have the opportunity to go to counseling and/or therapy? I feel like this is something that would really benefit from intervention from a mental health professional right away.

You're right JAKAS my old friend. That whole experience was pretty traumatizing.

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DarthDemented posted...

I don't know how healthy that is but I keep doing it

Whatever you need to do to keep breathing.

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