Board 8 > so I need to talk about something extremely heavy and personal (TW)

(+) Yeah! (+)

Im glad youre still with us. Us Kirby fans gotta stick together.
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I don't think we've interacted much outside of Mercs, but I'm also glad that you're still with us man.

Also echoing the sentiment that healthcare in this country (and especially mental health) is completely fucked up and I'm sorry you had to go through that.

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I never know what to say in these kinds of topics, but I'm really glad you're still here, and hope things get better for you.

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TheArkOfTurus posted...

I never know what to say in these kinds of topics, but I'm really glad you're still here, and hope things get better for you.

This exactly for me too.

I don't really interact with other B8ers anymore outside of a close few, and a couple who share interests with me, but regardless you all are like family to me.

Glad you're still here with us.

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Seginustemple posted...

Good lord is that how we treat potential suicide victims, detaining them and charging them out the ass? Some morale booster. But I'm glad you hesitated and can at least confide in us in some way.

I've heard VRchat can be pretty effective place for therapy or just talking shit out, whatever you wanna call it. I've never done VR but I imagine it's got potential to be a bit more genuine than some hotline worker on an hourly wage

I think at one point I said to a nurse "every problem I had is going to be worse when I get out." They said nothing. I can't speak for anything VR though, never tried VRchat but I was under the impression is was mostly just goofy meme stuff? Most videos I've seen of it featured Ugandan Knuckles though so idk

pezzicle posted...

Just so you know, they don't actually have to give you that option. They should, for sure, and as someone who works at a mental health hospital, I always do. But they don't have to when they (what we call) "forming you"

When they assess risk, if it breaches a certain level, they are obligated to put you on an involuntary order. They can ask you if you'd like to go in, but they are still going to put you on an order (and will tell you that) because of you are voluntary you can leave under your own volition.

Suicide attempts are automatically formed. That's just the way it works.

Sounds like you had am awful experience and I'm sorry for that, but I just wanted to point out that piece because if it was bothering you, that is actually the way that it works

Yeah, trust me, one of the first things I did after I got out (after getting a soda and sub from Sheetz) was start looking up legal options to pursue. And yeah, while by all means you should be given the option of a 102 (it was enough to surprise my case worker when I described how little I'd be told) they're not legally obligated to because of the suicide attempt, if the physician determines you are unable to make decisions for yourself. That's strictly legally speaking, because again, I only saw the physician for a minute tops, and he basically just jotted down basic info while I sat there scared and confused, and then the staff wrote me off and kept me in the dark all night. Either way there's definitely some drastic moral issues with the way they went about it that they are quick to sweep under the rug, and I still want to do something about it, because the thought of it just makes me angry on a daily basis now. My gf actually tried contacting a lawyer to see if there was anything we could do about it (aside from just being signed off as a 302, I was also not told my rights, not told what was happening, etc) but they essentially said that anything they might have done comes down to their word against mine, and a court would never just take my word over theirs. I've spent a good bit of time shuffling throug legal info and unfortunately haven't seen many available avenues.

foolm0r0n posted...

You should definitely talk with E imo. She is an example of a 3rd party who would gladly help you in this kind of situation, unlike the cops. She already knows the situation so there's nothing to lose.

E is a tough spot. She's not someone I'm extremely close with (she's my gf's best friend so I mostly just see her when they hang out) but I'd like to be closer because she's a really nice person with similar interests. But it's not just talking about the situation with her I've struggled with, it's talking at all. I just kind of freeze up now. It makes me think of the episode of Community where Britta drunk dials Jeff, and then is unable to talk to him because there's an imbalance in the friendship. That's kind of how this feels, and I don't know how to get past it.

Alanna82 posted...

I actually got a degree in psychology from college. I decided not to pursue it because of a bad experience working for one. Its sad that people do not take mental health seriously.

Ironically, getting off anti depressants was the best thing for my brother and me. My brother kept changing his medications and they kept making him worse. My mother insisted he go off all medication for like 3 months to get everything out of his system and after that he got so much better. My depression is actually more seasonal and since I married my husband, I have a support. I've actually been less depressed since I went off my medication.

for what it's worth I a degree with a psych minor, not that that's done me much good. I will say that case worker makes me half tempted to go try and do something in that field. There were a lot of patients there that needed help a LOT more than me, and it kills me to not know if they'll ever get it.

ChaoticKnuckles posted...

It made me very angry, she didnt need to be in a padded room with nothing in it, she needed better medication and someone to talk to who could help her through it.

That's one of the things that frustrates me the most. What I needed was probably a therapist that I realistically jhadn't gotten because therapy is really goddamn expensive. Then I end up thousands in the whole, put in a mental institution, and I still can't see a therapist in there, of all places? I can count, of the 20-30 people in my wing, there were probably 3 that actually needed a facility like that (not that facility because fuck them but like a real mental health facility). Nobody was violent or uncontrollable, most just really needed some help. A lot of rape and sexual abuse victims. Some recovering addicts. Some who had just experienced a really bad tragedy. Big TW: one woman's daughter was murdered and the killer was never caught, so her entire life just became wrapped up in wanting justice, another was an 18-year-old girl whose boyfriend had just shot himself in front of her. Honestly hearing the situations others had gone through in there made me feel a little bad for even being there; it almost feels selfish to feel suicidal when so many of them were in much worse positions than I was.

Raetsel_Lapin posted...

We've never really interacted outside of your ranking topics and your RPG, but for whatever it's worth, I've always enjoyed your ranking topics. Our interests aren't often compatible, but I like participating and seeing your different viewpoint on things.

And while it probably wasn't much to you, letting me into that RPG meant a lot to me. I figured you'd either throw in a "no child characters rule" or "nothing that furry" rule or otherwise question things, but you (and everyone else participating) let me be a small rabbit without any complaints. It was probably the first time I really felt welcome on the board and it was truly one of my best experiences anywhere on GameFAQs. I don't think I ever properly thanked you for that... so thanks for including me and just generally being a cool dude! You mean more to people here than you know.

Aw man I feel like I don't see you around a whole lot, I'm actually really glad you enjoyed that so much. I had a lot of fun running the RPG but didn't think it actually had a lot of impact on anyone. It means a lot that it did :)


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jcgamer107 posted...
Holy shit dude. All I can say is I'm glad you're alive and our mental health system is so fucked. Reminds me of Unsane, where they force people in just to get insurance money.

I don't know if you're pursuing a therapist, but I'm set on doing that soon - my mental health hasn't been great during Covid. If your insurance doesn't cover a good one near you, there's remote online therapy (I had a good therapist on betterhelp for a couple years).
Man I don't even want to mention how many times I thought about the movie Unsane during this experience.

and I'm really hoping the zoom thing helps (from what I can tell, it's kind of like AA for suicide attempt survivors?). If not, I'll go from there.

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ya its super frustrating when you arent able to do anything about stuff from a legal standpoint even though they are treating you in such a ridiculous manner. im a case worker in a mental health hospital and my fellow colleagues are usually decent but the nurses and psychiatrists are def often trash, especially so if you are just in a mental health wing of a non-mental health hospital (which we are)

i'm also in canada so im sure that has an impact as well

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In all seriousness, if you do decide to pay the medical bills and are really struggling to find the money send me a pm

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Johnbobb posted...

In hindsight, I think a part of me was still hoping someone would notice and talk to me, as much as I also just wanted to be alone.

yeah i've definitely felt this before and can recall one specific occasion where a person unknowingly just talking to me helped put it out of mind

and yeah i would be absolutely livid at having to pay for that shit they label "care"

fucking hell

hoping the best for you in the future

Hey man I'm glad you didn't do it, we gotcha if you need anything

I'm sorry about how you got dicked around. My mom broke her arm and she was wailing in pain for hours before they did anything about it. Maybe they were doing stuff behind the scenes or maybe they were short handed, but it seems to be the standard

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welcome to the club

my only suggestion is, even if it seems incredibly embarrassing, not to cut anyone out right now who wants to help (like your E person)

I came out of my situation with a lot of burned bridges because of misplaced pride and now I'm in an almost worst position than I was before (homeless in the winter in a pandemic)

Take whatever assistance you can get. The people who want to help are doing so because they want to see you better.

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I had no idea you were going through such awful things. I really wish I could help you in a more meaningful and tangible way than just offering virtual platitudes like this, but I'm so glad you're still here, as this board is a richer place thanks to your presence.

masterplum posted...

In all seriousness, if you do decide to pay the medical bills and are really struggling to find the money send me a pm

I really apprecaite the offer, though I'm gonna go through every path I can before I ask for money.

Really pulling for medical assistance to come through, because there's no reason I shouldn't qualify.


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Wanna take a moment to talk about some of the other people there because really, everyone there was good. Part of me fell for the scary stereotype of a mental patient that you'd see in movies and such, and there just wasn't anyone there like that. The one most in need of help was a young guy who'd use all his phone calls to try and call 911 and would pretend to faint and would refuse to stay in his room at night. Still a friendly guy though in his moments of clarity.

The guy I was roomed with was in his 70s. Really friendly guy, though clearly his mind was going just a bit in his old age. I was roomed with him because we were the only two people there using CPAPs. He talked a lot but wasn't very easy to understand. At one point he really kind of freaked out at one of the staff (who was being condescending to him), yelling about how he'd been there four months. One girl had been there even longer.

There were a lot of 18-year-olds, probably about 1/3 of the people there, all who had just barely missed being put in the separate facility for minors. It broke my heart to see them there. ALL of them were just kids that needed help, not locked up. Eating disorders, sexual abuse, parents that just didn't give a shit about them. The person I was probably closest to in my time there had already been there over 2 weeks. She was 18, and was there because she was a foster kid that was just sort of tossed around from home to home and facility to facility her whole life after being abused and abandoned as a kid. She didn't have a real need to be there, but was there as they were trying to wait for a spot in a group home to open up. She had a really shitty life but was still the friendliest person there, greeting everyone as if they were friends. Her coming up and talking to me made the experience much easier than it could've been, as I'm not exactly good with new people. She kind of reminded me of my little sister, and it broke my heart to leave with her still stuck there. I really, really hope things get better for her.

One girl was a vegetarian who passed out in the hallway due to low blood sugar. She barely ate due to nausea from having her stomach pumped and because they kept trying to give her meals with meat despite being a vegetarian.

One man was a very religious recovering addict who was literally exact what I imagine a 20-something Jesus would look like and one night he got really into Piano Man and it was probably the best moment I had there.

The relationships I formed in there are going to be sitting with me for a long time, and it kills me not really knowing how things are going for them. I managed to get in touch with 2 of them after, but most are just going to be memories.

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Johnbobb posted...

one night he got really into Piano Man and it was probably the best moment I had there

ok, a silver lining

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Oh yeah, the time I went in, the people there were great. I was on a ward where a few people were batshit crazy, and one guy had some sort of complex where he would access the pay phone and call random people collect claiming his name was Maria Gonzalez (he was very Irish), but none of the patients treated me poorly. I was in a full week, and only one of the ~20 people there left before I did. The guy I was roomed with basically locked himself in his bed and never left; he wouldn't engage with me. But the others, most of them were older than me and it was strictly a men's ward, were willing to talk to me and be cool if I was willing to talk to them. If anything, I was the reclusive one.

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