Poll of the Day > What exactly is therapy supposed to do for existential boredom?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'd like some help with my life. Everything I try out, I get bored with. Not just normal boredom, but a sickening boredom. I feel insulted and robbed that I even give it a chance.

I seek fulfillment. But everyone tells me "You can't have that anymore, you're too old, go see a therapist." What's a therapist supposed to do? I've been to therapy, and what she told me to do was continue to pursue my dreams, despite everyone else telling me I can't have those dreams anymore.

i think "go see a therapist" or "get professional help" is so backhanded and dismissive. when im told these things it often exacerbates my foul moods. half the time, just venting or knowing that a stranger cares about the mental health of a sufferer is all they need.

in my experience, you have to be realistic. my dreams were unrealistic and i had to change what my dreams are. im still struggling with that, to be honest.

identify, your goals. identify, the obstacles. identify whether its even feasible or not. take baby steps, fulfillment takes works and time.

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Right there with you, buddy. I to have been dealing with a momumental amount of boredom with life in general. I feel like I already did the things I've wanted to do. Now what?

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what if you had everything you ever wanted in life and it still sucked?

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Sometimes you just need a sounding board. Its easier to talk out your feelings as long as you think the person is listening rathr than just rationalizing to yourself

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As long as you aren't so bored that you start changing personalities nearly every sentence and begin pitting high school students into a killing game, you're good .

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ScritchOwl posted...

Sometimes you just need a sounding board. Its easier to talk out your feelings as long as you think the person is listening rathr than just rationalizing to yourself

I don't need a sounding board, I have the Internet if I just wanna unproductively bitch about my life. Is this really what people mean by "go see a therapist?" That's no help.

FrothySolutions posted...

I don't need a sounding board, I have the Internet if I just wanna unproductively bitch about my life. Is this really what people mean by "go see a therapist?" That's no help.

Yeah I know whatcha mean. But why do we feel this way?

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ScritchOwl posted...

Yeah I know whatcha mean. But why do we feel this way?

Feel what way?

FrothySolutions posted...

Feel what way?

That was a joke more or less but thats the average therapy session. They let you vent ask an open question. The repeat the cycle until he checks his watch and tells you your time is up.. I dont feel it works for me but some people have to hear how wrong they are before they openly will accept help.


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ScritchOwl posted...

That was a joke more or less but thats the average therapy session. They let you vent ask an open question. The repeat the cycle until he checks his watch and tells you your time is up.. I dont feel it works for me but some people have to hear how wrong they are before they openly will accept help.

That's a shame then, if that's what therapy is. I have nothing to vent about. I just want guidance.

Nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. A therapist with an existential theoretical standpoint could help you to dig deeper into the origin of your dreams and your search for meaning.

FrothySolutions posted...

That's a shame then, if that's what therapy is. I have nothing to vent about. I just want guidance.

It's more than just letting you vent and asking open ended questions. Therapists have training in creating a type of relationship that allows for healing and discovery. If it was just open-ended questions, then anyone could do it. I'd suggest just looking into it if you're interested.

Aside from therapy, if you feel following your dreams would give your life meaning, why do the negative things you hear from your friends hold you back?

If you looking for guidance look to a priest(it doesn't have to be you religion). Generally they have seen or heard enough life experiences to give you an idea. Well unless you see a televangelist then they require more money thatn a therapist to talk to

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Maybe a psychoanalyst could help you figure out WHY you keep going back to a place of boredom and lack of fulfillment, and then you can make a plan to try other behaviors or activities to see if theres another way for you to find some joy in life

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https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/existential-therapy

I think someone in canada is telling someone to down psilocybe mushrooms and its supposed to cure apathy, depression, anxiety and pretty much anything that you gonna do a google search for

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ScritchOwl posted...

I think someone in canada is telling someone to down psilocybe mushrooms and its supposed to cure apathy, depression, anxiety and pretty much anything that you gonna do a google search for

I'm ok with this plan.

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Sorry forgot one of the sources

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psilocybin_therapy

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I've never tried shrooms before. I've done half a tab of acid once and that was an interesting trip.

I don't know if any of your problems are anxiety, lack of sleep, or stress related, but in the US, Phenibut is an unscheduled supplement that can help with some of these things

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phenibut

I'd gone through a lot of these issues frequently (and GABA / downer addiction in general) but this is more like a not-so-narcotic, but definitely helps just enough solution, if those are factors

For the complete opposite, there could be use in Adrafinil

Now, I'm not saying either of these are your solutions, but they are worth mentioning
And since I've mentioned them, I should also mention that they both taste like shit, so one would prefer capsule forms

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GunslingerGunsl posted...

I've never tried shrooms before. I've done half a tab of acid once and that was an interesting trip.

I've lost count of how many times I've done each, but acid was a lot more accessible to me for a while, so I've probably done that more. They're certainly comparable in some regards, but in my experience an acid trip is a bit more "controllable" and shrooms are more interested in taking you for a ride. I do think shrooms have more potential in a therapeutic setting because the trip often seems "deeper" to most people I've talked to. Psychedelics in general can help with a lot of problems though, particularly depression. Probably worth buying a test kit if you're interested in pursuing acid trips in the future, because these days a lot of research chemicals (2CB, 25i, etc) are passed off as acid since they're easier to synthesize. My one experience with 25i was the absolute worst trip I've ever had.

LuciferSage posted...

what if you had everything you ever wanted in life and it still sucked?

Your life sucks because you're a self-admitted asshole, not because you did or didn't get "everything you ever wanted". You've got no one but yourself to blame. I'm a bit surprised an advocate for psilocybin psychotherapy has the extreme lack of self-reflection and insight that you do.

GunslingerGunsl posted...

It's more than just letting you vent and asking open ended questions. Therapists have training in creating a type of relationship that allows for healing and discovery. If it was just open-ended questions, then anyone could do it. I'd suggest just looking into it if you're interested.

Aside from therapy, if you feel following your dreams would give your life meaning, why do the negative things you hear from your friends hold you back?

Following my dreams wouldn't give my life meaning, achieving my dreams would give my life meaning. It would make my life not boring. Someone who wants to live in the Hollywood Hills isn't fulfilled by the journey of working to live in the Hollywood Hills, they're fulfilled by living the life of a person who lives in the Hollywood Hills.

Mead posted...

Maybe a psychoanalyst could help you figure out WHY you keep going back to a place of boredom and lack of fulfillment, and then you can make a plan to try other behaviors or activities to see if theres another way for you to find some joy in life

I'm not going back to a place of boredom by choice, it's just it's not practical for me to do the thing that will fulfill me. What would fulfill me is getting another shot at my squandered youth. My prime years were lost because I didn't know how to do things like make friends or sexual partners. So I didn't have a normal youth. What would fulfill me is if I could go back to college and make friends and sexual partners, like I should've done when I was 20-something. But I can't do that now because I'm 47.

So if I can't do that, I need to do something. I need some kind of consolation or repayment from life that will make me say "I don't mind missing out on my 20s, this makes up for it."

ScritchOwl posted...

If you looking for guidance look to a priest(it doesn't have to be you religion). Generally they have seen or heard enough life experiences to give you an idea. Well unless you see a televangelist then they require more money thatn a therapist to talk to

By "guidance" I don't mean spiritual guidance, I mean someone who will help me achieve something that will make me not feel bored.

You might find some of Mark Manson's writings helpful or insightful. I'll leave two relevant articles to start with:

https://markmanson.net/the-3-paradoxes-of-life

https://markmanson.net/dreams

Theres no rules against 47 year olds meeting new people, making friends, and pursuing relationships. Look into any local clubs or groups in your area that get together for hobbies or activities you think you might enjoy, and then just force yourself to introduce yourself and talk to people a little bit

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Mead posted...

Theres no rules against 47 year olds meeting new people, making friends, and pursuing relationships. Look into any local clubs or groups in your area that get together for hobbies or activities you think you might enjoy, and then just force yourself to introduce yourself and talk to people a little bit

No, it has to be college. I have to do what I would've/should've done in my 20s. If I can't do that, I need to do something that will make me not miss them anymore.

JigsawTDC posted...

I've lost count of how many times I've done each, but acid was a lot more accessible to me for a while, so I've probably done that more. They're certainly comparable in some regards, but in my experience an acid trip is a bit more "controllable" and shrooms are more interested in taking you for a ride. I do think shrooms have more potential in a therapeutic setting because the trip often seems "deeper" to most people I've talked to. Psychedelics in general can help with a lot of problems though, particularly depression. Probably worth buying a test kit if you're interested in pursuing acid trips in the future, because these days a lot of research chemicals (2CB, 25i, etc) are passed off as acid since they're easier to synthesize. My one experience with 25i was the absolute worst trip I've ever had.

Your life sucks because you're a self-admitted asshole, not because you did or didn't get "everything you ever wanted". You've got no one but yourself to blame. I'm a bit surprised an advocate for psilocybin psychotherapy has the extreme lack of self-reflection and insight that you do.

I've done 2cb before too. It felt like I had just smoked weed at first and had a similar feeling. After awhile, it changed to feeling more similar to rolling (ecstasy). It was a good night but the next morning I woke up feeling clammy, and I ended up having a panic attack where I literally felt like I was losing control of my own mind and going crazy.

FrothySolutions posted...

Someone who wants to live in the Hollywood Hills isn't fulfilled by the journey of working to live in the Hollywood Hills, they're fulfilled by living the life of a person who lives in the Hollywood Hills.

I don't think this is correct most of the time. The fulfillment often comes from a sense of purpose and the sense of purpose is a lot stronger during the journey than at the destination. If anything it's more likely that the fulfillment fades and they become bored after they start living in hollywood hills.

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FrothySolutions posted...

Following my dreams wouldn't give my life meaning, achieving my dreams would give my life meaning. It would make my life not boring. Someone who wants to live in the Hollywood Hills isn't fulfilled by the journey of working to live in the Hollywood Hills, they're fulfilled by living the life of a person who lives in the Hollywood Hills.

So you feel life can only have meaning as long as your dreams are already achieved? Do you think maybe people can find meaning in their lives through the journey to those dreams, rather than just the destination alone? If not, then I would imagine that most people are living meaningless lives.

GunslingerGunsl posted...

I've done 2cb before too. It felt like I had just smoked weed at first and had a similar feeling. After awhile, it changed to feeling more similar to rolling (ecstasy). It was a good night but the next morning I woke up feeling clammy, and I ended up having a panic attack where I literally felt like I was losing control of my own mind and going crazy.

Yeah, 2CB is a popular rave drug for that reason. The idea is that it's supposed to combine the best parts of acid and mollie. 25i is more like acid mixed with an amphetamine, but also is commonly used in rave and party settings. My 25i experience ended very similar to your 2CB experience. Losing control of my own mind, going crazy. I was having auditory hallucinations of people whispering about me behind me. I had the sensation that I had just murdered someone and really felt like I had, despite knowing I hadn't, and then I didn't trust anyone I was with because they all took it too and could be having murderous thoughts.

JigsawTDC posted...

Yeah, 2CB is a popular rave drug for that reason. The idea is that it's supposed to combine the best parts of acid and mollie. 25i is more like acid mixed with an amphetamine, but also is commonly used in rave and party settings. My 25i experience ended very similar to your 2CB experience. Losing control of my own mind, going crazy. I was having auditory hallucinations of people whispering about me behind me. I had the sensation that I had just murdered someone and really felt like I had, despite knowing I hadn't, and then I didn't trust anyone I was with because they all took it too and could be having murderous thoughts.

Yeah, 2cb was the last hard substance I used before deciding that my experimental days were over. That was probably like 4 years ago. I don't deny that I had fun times partying back then, I'm just in a different phase of my life now where I am focused on other things. Since we are talking about life's meaning, I find that I define mine through advancing my career/education, fitness, hobbies and having happy relationships with my loved ones. I think self-development is the most important part of life.

FrothySolutions posted...

I'm not going back to a place of boredom by choice, it's just it's not practical for me to do the thing that will fulfill me. What would fulfill me is getting another shot at my squandered youth. My prime years were lost because I didn't know how to do things like make friends or sexual partners. So I didn't have a normal youth. What would fulfill me is if I could go back to college and make friends and sexual partners, like I should've done when I was 20-something. But I can't do that now because I'm 47.

So if I can't do that, I need to do something. I need some kind of consolation or repayment from life that will make me say "I don't mind missing out on my 20s, this makes up for it."

This is exactly one of those scenarios that a therapist can help you work through. It's a textbook case of generativity vs stagnation. Doesn't hurt to give it a shot. I guess bibliotherapy could help too. Try looking into selfhelp books, books on existentialism, or mid life crises.

YoukaiSlayer posted...

I don't think this is correct most of the time. The fulfillment often comes from a sense of purpose and the sense of purpose is a lot stronger during the journey than at the destination. If anything it's more likely that the fulfillment fades and they become bored after they start living in hollywood hills.

Well that's how it is for me. What I'm upset about is that my current life is boring. To work towards having a fun life is not itself fun.

GunslingerGunsl posted...

This is exactly one of those scenarios that a therapist can help you work through. It's a textbook case of generativity vs stagnation. Doesn't hurt to give it a shot. I guess bibliotherapy could help too. Try looking into selfhelp books, books on existentialism, or mid life crises.

Oh my God, no, no to generativity. Waste of time. Also no to bibliotherapy. I've heard that before. I know what other people do with their mid-life crises, I know lots of old people find "purpose" in guiding the youth. I'm pretty sure that's because those old people at the very least have good memories to look back on.

I can admit, it's a little too much to ask to want to be young forever. But to have never been young ever is unique, and not fixed the same way as everyone else.

LuciferSage posted...

what if you had everything you ever wanted in life and it still sucked?

If you got everything in life it would probably suck, part of the joy of life is the pursuit of happiness itself, once there is nothing else to chase everything becomes stagnant

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FrothySolutions posted...

Well that's how it is for me. What I'm upset about is that my current life is boring. To work towards having a fun life is not itself fun.

Oh my God, no, no to generativity. Waste of time. Also no to bibliotherapy. I've heard that before. I know what other people do with their mid-life crises, I know lots of old people find "purpose" in guiding the youth. I'm pretty sure that's because those old people at the very least have good memories to look back on.

I can admit, it's a little too much to ask to want to be young forever. But to have never been young ever is unique, and not fixed the same way as everyone else.

Well it sounds like your crises is centered on a lot of grief at maybe having younger years stolen from you in some way. Coming to terms with that could be difficult. Are there areas of your life where you can find even a small bit of fulfillment now?

GunslingerGunsl posted...

Yeah, 2cb was the last hard substance I used before deciding that my experimental days were over. That was probably like 4 years ago. I don't deny that I had fun times partying back then, I'm just in a different phase of my life now where I am focused on other things. Since we are talking about life's meaning, I find that I define mine through advancing my career/education, fitness, hobbies and having happy relationships with my loved ones. I think self-development is the most important part of life.

Yeah, I understand that. I don't really seek out things anymore, but they have a way of finding me and I still like to explore here and there. In a broad sense, we've all go to create and define our own meaning. For me, meaning comes through seeking out new experiences, traveling, and trying to use whatever impact I have and can have to make positive change in the lives of those around me. I agree that self-development is one of the most important things in life. Never stop learning, never stop growing as a person. There is no "end" to achieve as it's a constant process.

FrothySolutions posted...

Well that's how it is for me. What I'm upset about is that my current life is boring. To work towards having a fun life is not itself fun.

Being fulfilled has nothing to do with having fun. It's possible to be both fulfilled and miserable.

If anything to me it sounds like your worry about missing out on the fun things in life by being too old is what is sapping the fun from anything else you could do. You seem to have a pretty concrete idea on what you missed out on and want. Is it really unachievable? Being so focused on something that specific, why not just try for it and get it out of your system? If you can still manage it, great, if not, at least you won't be sitting around with doubts that are IMO your real impediment to having fun.

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GunslingerGunsl posted...

Well it sounds like your crises is centered on a lot of grief at maybe having younger years stolen from you in some way. Coming to terms with that could be difficult. Are there areas of your life where you can find even a small bit of fulfillment now?

No...

YoukaiSlayer posted...

Being fulfilled has nothing to do with having fun. It's possible to be both fulfilled and miserable.

If anything to me it sounds like your worry about missing out on the fun things in life by being too old is what is sapping the fun from anything else you could do. You seem to have a pretty concrete idea on what you missed out on and want. Is it really unachievable? Being so focused on something that specific, why not just try for it and get it out of your system? If you can still manage it, great, if not, at least you won't be sitting around with doubts that are IMO you're real impediment to having fun.

You mean go to college as a 47 year old, going on 48 year old, making friends and having sex with people who are well under half my age? If that was practical I would absolutely try it.

JigsawTDC posted...

You might find some of Mark Manson's writings helpful or insightful. I'll leave two relevant articles to start with:

https://markmanson.net/the-3-paradoxes-of-life

https://markmanson.net/dreams

I'm gonna quote this because I feel it'll probably get lost in the shuffle, but I genuinely feel you may get some insight from these articles, especially after seeing which direction this conversation has taken.

FrothySolutions posted...

No...

Hmm. What do you think it is causing it then? Is it just that you haven't fulfilled your dreams?

JigsawTDC posted...

Yeah, I understand that. I don't really seek out things anymore, but they have a way of finding me and I still like to explore here and there. In a broad sense, we've all go to create and define our own meaning. For me, meaning comes through seeking out new experiences, traveling, and trying to use whatever impact I have and can have to make positive change in the lives of those around me. I agree that self-development is one of the most important things in life. Never stop learning, never stop growing as a person. There is no "end" to achieve as it's a constant process.

True. Meaning is largely subjective. I think helping to make positive changes around you is fulfilling too. The only "end" is death. lol. If there is anyone that ever feels completely "fulfilled," what is the point of living anymore. That's why I think it's more about the journey (self-development). I can't change the past so it isn't helpful to live in regret. I can just evolve and try to be better.

GunslingerGunsl posted...

Hmm. What do you think it is causing it then? Is it just that you haven't fulfilled your dreams?

It's because these are boring things, simple as that. But I could put up with it if I got my fair shot at living a fun life.

FrothySolutions posted...

It's because these are boring things, simple as that. But I could put up with it if I got my fair shot at living a fun life.

What do you consider fun?

GunslingerGunsl posted...

What do you consider fun?

Being 20-something and making friends/sexual partners in college.

FrothySolutions posted...

You mean go to college as a 47 year old, going on 48 year old, making friends and having sex with people who are well under half my age? If that was practical I would absolutely try it.

Go for it. Either it works or doesn't and if it doesn't you can put it behind you and stop thinking about it.

Out of curiosity though, why is that so much better than making friends with 40 somethings and doing the same thing? I'd think as someone who has lived to 47, you'd probably think most 20 somethings are boring and stupid.

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FrothySolutions posted...

Being 20-something and making friends/sexual partners in college.

So fun is something completely out of your reach at this point. There hasn't been anything else you've done that you had some fun in the past 5 or so years?

YoukaiSlayer posted...

Go for it. Either it works or doesn't and if it doesn't you can put it behind you and stop thinking about it.

Out of curiosity though, why is that so much better than making friends with 40 somethings and doing the same thing? I'd think as someone who has lived to 47, you'd probably think most 20 somethings are boring and stupid.

I feel the opposite. I haven't seen anyone my age yet that doesn't look either stuffy and boring, or pathetic in their desperation to cling to youth. Myself included.

GunslingerGunsl posted...

So fun is something completely out of your reach at this point. There hasn't been anything else you've done that you had some fun in the past 5 or so years?

No. I've been spending the past 5 years scouting the best college for me to go back to.

FrothySolutions posted...

No. I've been spending the past 5 years scouting the best college for me to go back to.

What are you interested in studying? Do you have any prospective colleges on your mind yet?

I don't think he cares what he studies. Sounds to me like he just wants that idealized college life of partying and making friends.

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