Board 8 > Jesse Ranks Video Game Intros - The Rankings

(+) Yeah! (+)

6 spots in and looks like no serious noms have dropped yet. That RE one was beautiful though.

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Sorry everyone, its been a really rough day. Got stuck working over 12 hours and still going. Hopefully tomorrow I can get back to posting more rankings.

Geez, make sure you get some rest after it's all over!

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Don't worry about it, we all have our off and busy days, and you've been making a great pace so far anyways!

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This has been a crazy week, but Ive finally got a moment to post again.

114. Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon S - Raetsel_Lapin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fn-AcYvCzF0

I dont think Ive ever seen anything quite like the attempted CGI renders of the characters in this intro. Theyre actually vaguely unsettling. In fact, seeing the part where these doll-like creatures dance (starting at around 0:43), I cant help but imagine a severed head theyre dancing around. Most horrifying of all is the image of that one characters mouth opening and closing near the end.

Its also really jarring the way the visuals keep switching between standard animation and this weird CGI. Im guessing theyre trying to show the way the characters have progressed from the cartoon to a video game, but it comes across like two different intros poorly edited together.

To be fair, Sailor Moon is a tough sell for me, regardless of my issues here with the presentation. I dislike the laziness of the character designs in this franchise, where the characters appear virtually interchangeable. Perhaps they have unique personalities, but that simply doesnt come across in this intro.

Lastly, while this version of the song is at least more lively than the one used in the American TV show intro, Im still not a fan of how repetitive it is.

Not really surprised to see that one drop, though I do love it because of how... wrong everything about it is. Its like something from a creepypasta, taking something very familiar and twisting it into horror. The way the 2D characters shift into these deformed three-dimensional aberrations... and the ending where Sailor Moons lip flaps vaguely lip-sync with the lyrics. Shes escaped the 2D world, become 3D, and is breaking the fourth wall. The game it implies is absolutely fascinating.

...the game it actually is is a 2D fighting game that has nothing to do with any of that (apart from having those characters in it)those models were created entirely for this opening alone (...actually I dont know what the ending is, if there is one)but that intro is legitimately one of the most unsettling things Ive seen in a game and Id love a horror game that used it as inspiration.
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I love how it just freezes on the last frame for a good 5 seconds

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Somehow missed the topic for days, tag

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ah, days of early cgi

you shall not be missed

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I was thinking that the CGI looked alright... and then the CGI came on, and I realized that the prior part was just regular 2D animation.

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113. Donkey Kong 64 - Shonen_Bat
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RcP91tQ4ZSM

I could see this having camp value for some people, falling into the category of so bad its good. In fact, I wouldnt be surprised if someone posts to say this should have been #1. But despite the fact I like most of the DK games and characters, to me, the DK rap falls into the category of just plain bad. Bad enough to make the Ninja Rap in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II seem like legitimate rapping by comparison. The rapping here is tediously slow, with each syllable pronounced like its a phonics video to teach kids how to read.

The creator of the DK Rap has said its just supposed to be a joke, not an actual quality song, as if anyone ever thought otherwise. My problem with that take is the lines arent even funny. We get lyrics like he may move slow, he can't jump high, but this Kong's one heck of a guy! And is there some reason they couldnt have gone for both funny and decent rapping at the same time? PaRappa the Rapper pulled it off. Epic Rap Battles of History usually pulls it off. But this fails both at being a good song and being enjoyable.

And as a final nitpick, why is Cranky Kong, who during the intro to Donkey Kong Country used an old phonograph, now a DJ? I guess its supposed to be funny hes acting so out of character. Im probably overthinking it, but the joke doesnt work for me.

And that was far more than anyone should ever write about the DK Rap.

gasp

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SO THEY'RE FINALLY HERE
PERFORMING FOR YOU
IF YOU KNOW THE SPURTS YOU SHOULD JOlN IN TOO

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Eh, fair enough. It's not for everyone.

I expected Shadow Man to be my first out though tbh

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An instant classic, it's just plain fun! Agree that Cranky's part is pretty lacking and out of place though.

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112. Final Fantasy X-2 - RyoCaliente
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2e4_XChGwA

Final Fantasy X is probably my favorite game in the franchise, and the intro to that game, had it been nominated, would have likely placed in the top 5. And its because Im such a fan of FFX that I hate this intro, which showed me from the start that FF X-2 was going to take this amazing world and characters the first game had built up and turn it into this Disney Channel rock concert.

Of course, theres nothing wrong with a more lighthearted tone. Yuna and friends had already saved the world, so why not let them have some fun? But that doesnt mean it makes any sense for someone who spent her entire life training to sacrifice her life to defeat Sin to suddenly become a pop music sensation. Was there even the slightest hint in FFX that Yuna always wanted to be a musician if not for her calling or that she even had any ability as a singer? And yes, I realize thats not actually Yuna on stage, but it seems clear from the crowd shes already an established pop star before this concert.

But regardless of whether or not this role makes any sense for Yuna, its still a crap intro. The song is dreadful, and it just keeps going on and on. Nothing else even happens in this intro other than a brief introduction to Rikku and Paine, without any meaningful character development. And the intro does nothing to advance the plot of the game. At most, it sets the tone as a sea change from FFX, and as I said before, I find this tone utterly obnoxious.

The one thing that shocks me going back and watching this intro again is that I somehow played this entire game through not just once, but two times just to get the good ending. And I can think of lots of better ways I could have spent that time.

I was shocked when I found this image. I'd had no idea FFX-2 had sold so well.
https://i.imgur.com/NJVLrc8.png

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Anagram posted...

I was shocked when I found this image. I'd had no idea FFX-2 had sold so well.
https://i.imgur.com/NJVLrc8.png

The funny part is that chart leaves off the actual most-revenue-generating FF: XIV.
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I'm so lucky that I was too young to get FFX when it came out. I probably would've tossed my controller into the TV had I gotten X-2 and seen that intro

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Jesse_Custer posted...

And yes, I realize thats not actually Yuna on stage, but it seems clear from the crowd shes already an established pop star before this concert.

Do you really think Yuna, considering what she did in FF X, would need to be an accomplished pop star to draw such a crowd?

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Noji fell way too early.

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RyoCaliente posted...

Do you really think Yuna, considering what she did in FF X, would need to be an accomplished pop star to draw such a crowd?

Its true she is undeniably famous, but the crowd clearly wasnt there to watch her demonstrate her summoning abilities. This was a rock concert. Under that logic, we could just as easily have a crowd gathered to watch Braska rapping (assuming he survived to launch a rap career).

Yes, that logic is exactly what I meant. If Jesus came back to Earth and decided to launch a rap or heck it, a death metal career, it wouldn't matter how shit he would be; people would come to those concerts in spades

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Hbthebattle posted...

The funny part is that chart leaves off the actual most-revenue-generating FF: XIV.

You sure it's ahead of XI? XI was around a lot longer than XIV.
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111. Shadow Man (through 2:25) - Shonen_Bat
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EClmtxRBQkI

This was a tough one. I was actually intrigued by the first 45 seconds. Hearing Beethovens Moonlight Sonata play as we listen to Jack the Rippers thoughts worked surprisingly well. And I liked the way most of that segment was a view through the sewers, only hearing Jacks voice, without seeing him.

But then it fell apart with the appearance of that other character just as Jack is about to end his own life. In contrast to the decent voice acting for Jack, the other character has a stereotypically evil voice that echoes, as if it wasnt already over the top. And the story that initially seemed so grounded turns to a rambling mess about Jack building a cathedral to pain and some immortal army constructing a dark engine or something. Also, despite how crazy Jack is, he seems to accept this bizarre story awfully quickly.

Then comes the topper, as we see Jack finally stab himself (which apparently the Legion guy only stopped Jack from doing earlier so he could give a speech). And thanks to a poor character model and ridiculous gagging noises, Jacks death is so absurd that it came across as comedy, which I doubt was the intention. And by that point, I had nearly forgotten how promising the first 45 seconds had seemed.

How do you go from 3DO Sailor Moon straight to the DK Rap?

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Jesse_Custer posted...

Of course, theres nothing wrong with a more lighthearted tone. Yuna and friends had already saved the world, so why not let them have some fun? But that doesnt mean it makes any sense for someone who spent her entire life training to sacrifice her life to defeat Sin to suddenly become a pop music sensation.

Her whole life isn't much, I'm not sure if she's even done with her teenage years lol. It's like if you graduated from school but then went on doing some weird career or just not study as is the usual way.

Jesse_Custer posted...

The one thing that shocks me going back and watching this intro again is that I somehow played this entire game through not just once, but two times just to get the good ending. And I can think of lots of better ways I could have spent that time.

I've beaten it 3 times and I'm barely over 90 something% lol. I guess you used a guide.

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lordjers posted...

I've beaten it 3 times and I'm barely over 90 something% lol. I guess you used a guide.

Yes, I did use a guide for some parts. Twice through was enough for me.

110. Zero Wing - FBike1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icVy7Ve6y6A

FBike set up me the intro. HA HA HA HA . . . . Its CATS !!

I was at first going to try to do the whole write-up like that, but really its just not worth the effort. Anyway, I guess this sequence is still kind of amusing at points, but its such an overplayed meme at this point that it mostly seems tedious to watch now. And this is hardly the only embarrassingly bad translation in existence worthy of mention (see Metal Gear, Sword Art Online: Hollow Fragment, Ghostbusters for NES, etc.). So why is this the one everyone always rips on over all others?

Aside from the obvious translation issues, theres not much more to say for this intro and its completely forgettable. The only reason anyone ever mentions it is to make jokes about it, but its just too easy. And as you can probably tell from my rankings so far, the joke entries arent really doing it for me.

The song is really good though.

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-hotdogturtle-- posted...

The song is really good though.

Yeah, actually the song is kind of cool as I listen to it more. Its easy to miss with how abrasive the sound of the text is.

Feels like its time again for a new tier. Its the I Dont Get Mario Sunshine Tier, for intros I could see working for others, but that I disliked. This will be the last tier before we get to the fairly large tier of stuff Im neutral about.

109. The World Ends With You - GavsEvans123
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjiaMBUQdqc

Whats the deal with this theme song? The vocals are an incomprehensible mess. It almost sounds to me like two different audio tracks playing at the same time. And the animation isnt much better, consisting mainly of still pictures being moved around the screen, with the look of an unfinished product. Even the actual movement of the main character running is reused multiple times, which struck me as lazy.

Theres also no meaningful plot here for anyone who hasnt already played the game (theres apparently a spoiler of some kind, but I cant imagine it meaning anything if you havent played). This will be a common criticism for a lot of intros that youll get as tired of hearing as I did of writing. And the generic character designs arent doing enough to convey much of a sense of personality for the characters here.

Basically I found this intro kind of tedious and vexing, like a bug flying around my head. But maybe it works better if youve played the game, I wouldnt know.

Yeah TWEWY really relies on its style and it really isn't for everyone. Despite loving the game, I completely agree with the write up.

Also can some confirm if the spoiler is there being two Shikis? Pretty sure that's what it is, but I'm curious if there's anything I'm missing

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Haven't been big on these last couple drops, the last ones I liked were DK64 and Ape Escape because they were fun and cute

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TWEWY is a great game but I never really cared for the intro. I like most of the OST much more than the intro song also.
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You're just, like, too zetta slow dude.

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Tag.

That Resident Evil intro is always a great watch. I enjoy the X-2 intro as well, despite not actually enjoying the game all that much.

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108. Age of Empires 2 - Raka_Putra
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ow4cC-Cz5l8

This entire sequence is built up around the theme of two kings playing a game of chess as a representation of the battle actually being waged with real soldiers. And as if the overused metaphor wasnt obvious enough already, we see at the end the soldier dropping the king piece to signify one side has lost the war. The concept of war being a game of chess could have perhaps worked for a brief sequence, but thats all this intro has to offer over the span of nearly two minutes.

The graphics have that awkward look of the early to mid 90s CD-ROM era, and I was surprised to see this game came out as late as 1999. In fact, the animation looked so stilted that I couldnt help but chuckle at the way the knight got hit by the arrow and fell off the horse at around 1:09.

So this intro is a dud for me. But judging from the comments on YouTube (I know I shouldnt read them, but sometimes I do anyway), it seems plenty of people feel differently. Most surprising to me was some guy who wrote I cried when he dropped the chess piece at the end. I dont think Ive ever cried over anything in a video game before, but if I did, it probably wouldnt be over hackneyed symbolism.

107. Helltaker (the first 50 seconds) - Pirateking2000
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnXv6woH5-g

A guy going into Hell to find demon girls for a harem is certainly a unique premise. I could see some people appreciating the unapologetic superficiality of a horror themed booty call, but it holds less than zero appeal to me.

I was going to say the main character comes across as two-dimensional, without any real personality. But honestly that seems like a generous description for a character who simply woke up one day with this arbitrary motivation. He seems like more of a one-dimensional character.

The only remotely interesting character in the sequence is the narrator Beelzebub, who in the lone moment resembling subtlety, self-references as cute despite an obviously monstrous form. Perhaps if there was more humor like that, this intro would have fared better.

I will, however, say that I was moderately intrigued by the little I saw of the gameplay after the initial 50 second segment (which is all that I ranked), and this looks like it could be a fun game. I just dont care for the intro.

106. Persona 3 - Raetsel_Lapin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxNAwZ-A88w

Normally Ive got a pretty good sense of why I dont like something. But Ill admit, its difficult to pinpoint exactly why this intro rubbed me the wrong way. Perhaps its the almost obsessive fixation on death, with such blatant messages as remember that you are mortal.

Or perhaps its the way the intro at times requires so little interpretation such as the image of someone putting a gun to their head, while at other points including vague imagery like whatever is going on at 1:24. Either they wanted to leave the sequence open to interpretation or let you know this is all about death without making you try to figure it out, but they seem to be going for both.

Perhaps the intro just struck me as trying too hard to be artistic. I feel like there was an attempt to do too many different things visually in one sequence that dont fit together cohesively. The result was often jarring because I found every time I started to acclimate to whatever gimmick or style was being used, it changed to something completely different. About the only consistency I saw visually is the common use of the color red.

I suppose its all of the above. This intro would have probably done a lot better if I used objective scoring criteria, as its pretty unique, generally well-animated, the song is pleasant, albeit a bit forgettable, and theres some sense of story even if its not clearly defined. But on a personal level, it didnt work.

TWEWY was the wildcard of my nominations. I thought that one would either go deep or completely tank. There's only one of my nominations I was confident in doing well, but I wasn't certain even in the nomination phase and I've been second-guessing it more over time.

So this has been another rough week for me. Also had to deal with a Covid scare in the house the last couple days, but it looks like were in the clear for now. Ive finally got some time to stop neglecting this topic today.

105. Rockman X3 (PS1) - DomaDragoon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JS4iMSC_i8

I wouldnt have thought I would dislike an intro about Mega, er Rockman X, given that Mega Man X is one of my all-time favorite games. But this intro feels really sloppy.

For starters, I dislike the animation. That transition from a hand to arm cannon at around 0:17 to 0:19 was gross, and the slow motion movement that followed, with an after image of the arm cannon, struck me as awkward. Even at its best moments, the animation was just about average in quality. Nor did I care for the cheesy theme song, which doesnt even warrant its own paragraph to discuss.

My remaining gripes are admittedly nitpicky, but still it bugged me to see things like X defeating Launch Octopus so easily by crashing an enemy into him instead of actually winning a battle. And it made no sense how X just randomly acquired the power-up to allow him to speed through the closing gate, when thats a permanent upgrade in the game. I get that they were going for a dramatic moment, but it didnt seem like the creators were that familiar with the source material.

Another moment that fell short for me was the appearance of Zero, which was supposed to be surprising, but I could see it coming the instant X struggled with Vile. And the thumbs up exchange that followed was very cringey.

Regardless of my nitpicking, this is a lackluster intro and could have been much better.

104. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - FBike1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeeK_TPOltk

Hey you, youre finally awake. But this intro is doing its best to make me fall asleep.

I wouldnt say its impossible to create an interesting intro thats basically just dialogue, but this isnt it. The dialogue strikes me as a contrived attempt to provide backstory for the game, with stilted lines like Damn you Stormcloaks. Skyrim was fine until you came along. I found it difficult to follow or care about most of what was said, and thats not making me want to see more of what the game has to offer.

Worse still, the voice acting of the guy saying no, this cant be happening was downright amateurish. The visuals for the bland environment are not much better, providing nothing of interest to look at while listening to the characters ramble. I know this isnt a Naughty Dog game where they put insane amounts of detail into every environment, and it doesnt have to be. But something other than a bunch of trees that all look the same would have been nice to watch for however long it took to reach the village, which also isnt terribly interesting even when you get there.

I suppose Im meant to care whats going to happen at the end with the imminent execution, but Im not invested in any of these characters who I can barely tell apart. Mostly Im just left surprised that such a high profile game had such a lackluster intro.

Man I feel like I'd have given that Skyrim intro bottom 5 or something. Maybe I'm just biased against WRPG's or something but idk. It doesn't even have the excuse of being an old game either.
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At the very least, I thought it set the atmosphere

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103. Mortal Kombat Armageddon - GavsEvans123
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNmg66B-SSQ

This intro actually sums up the entire Mortal Kombat franchise pretty effectively. The sequence is completely over the top and needlessly cruel, taking all the characters they've introduced over the years and having them slaughter each other in a battle royale, with only the faintest pretense of a story to justify it.

Although I cant say the sequence was boring, it was just so absurd. Enough so that I wound up laughing at a few points, which isnt necessarily a bad thing, but I cant imagine this was intended as comedy. In fact, I cant tell what the most amusing part was, Jax shouting what else you got? the instant before someone strikes him down, Stryker randomly punching out Mileena after everyone was staring up at the pyramid, or any number of other moments that seem like self-parody. But there were also some moments too ludicrous to even get a laugh out of, most notably Zombie Liu Kang, which had me rolling my eyes.

Also, why do we get Scorpion and Sub-Zero fighting with swords, without either of them using their trademark powers? This would be like watching Wolverine keeping his claws sheathed while using a dagger to battle Green Lantern wielding a baseball bat because he forgot he had a power ring.

Perhaps for diehard fans of this series, this scene is some kind of epic battle. But to me, it came across like a fan created video on YouTube, lacking any sense of drama or meaningful stakes. Any time the intro even briefly allows us to get invested in one character possibly getting somewhere, theyre just taken out by another character ridiculously easily, as if all their fighting skills and powers suddenly went out the window to make way for the next character to get the spotlight. So theres really no point to the entire sequence. But I actually think thats a pretty accurate summary of this franchise, of which Ive never been much of a fan.

I played Skyrim for the first time a couple of months ago and I definitley was surprised with how uninteresting the intro was.

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That was amazing! I just wish they got the classic MK theme in there

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102. No More Heroes - Great_Paul
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TQ1ywI5q_Q

Ive heard a lot about this game, but never gotten around to checking it out. Based on the intro, I have to say it doesnt look like my kind of game, if the rest of the game has a similar tone.

Based on this intro (which is admittedly a very superficial way to judge a character), Im not a fan of Travis personality with all that bravado and ego. He strikes me as a typical Ryan Reynolds character, and Im not a fan of that character type. Perhaps thats the point and Im meant to see his personality as excessively confident, but it seems like the intro is trying to portray Travis as a relatable gamer turned assassin.

It also kind of bugged me the way you hear Travis say at the end, and for you there holding the Wii Remote right now. Just press the A Button. I dont mind fourth wall breaking, but this is always a pet peeve of mine, even if it wasnt nearly as bad as the Hotel Mario intro telling you to consult the instruction manual.

All that being said, this is a pretty good intro in an objective sense, as it effectively lays out the plot and gives you some character development, which is more than I can say for many other intros on the list. So if I was using scoring criteria, this would have come in significantly higher. But on a personal level, it just wasnt my thing.

Travis definitely gives off those vibes at the start, but once you get into the game. You see how much of a loser he is. It's pretty funny

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