Current Events > NYT writer demands whites cut off contact w/ relatives unless they join protests

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https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/05/opinion/whites-anti-blackness-protests.html

But brazen as ever, white people who have my phone number are finding a way to drain my time and energy. Some are friends, others old co-workers and acquaintances Ive intentionally released from my life for the sake of my peace of mind. Every few days I receive a bunch of texts like this one, from last week:

Hi friend. I just wanted to reach out and let you know I love you and so deeply appreciate you in my life and your stories in the world. And Im so sorry. This country is deeply broken and sick and racist. Im sorry. I think Im tired; meanwhile Im sleeping in my Snuggie of white privilege. I love you and Im here to fight and be useful in any way I can be. **Heart emojis**

...

When you text me and tell me youre just thinking of me because this fear is momentarily evident to you after seeing the atrocities depicted on CNN, you create work for me. You invite me to coddle you and respond to you and tell you that its not your fault and that you are special. That attacks my dignity. That dehumanizes me.
When you tell me I can share my feelings with you, it is an act of forced intimacy and prods at the detachment Ive purposefully built up over time. You force me to excavate deeply painful feelings Ive buried for my sanity and to avoid offending you. Because I know offending you is dangerous.

When you tell me I dont have to respond, you rob me of the last shred of agency I have in this unwanted exchange by giving me permission to do what I already would have done.

So please, stop sending #love. Stop sending positive vibes. Stop sending your thoughts. Here are three suggestions on more immediately impactful things to offer instead:

• Money: To funds that pay legal fees for black people who are unjustly arrested, imprisoned or killed or to black politicians running for office.
• Texts: To your relatives and loved ones telling them you will not be visiting them or answering phone calls until they take significant action in supporting black lives either through protest or financial contributions.
• Protection: To fellow black protesters who are at greater risk of harm during demonstrations.

Yes, these actions may seem grave. But you insist that you love me, and love requires sacrifice. Text messages are unlimited on most data plans. Emojis are not sacrificial.

Sounds extreme, should going to a protest be a prerequisite to keeping friends?

Anyone that tries to force someone they call a friend to go to a protest or donate money isn't really a friend

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sound like they are just annoyed with all the texts

sounds like a bitch

lol, remember when you were killing your grandmother if you went outside

now you'll get canceled if you don't gather in crowds of thousands

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AlephZero posted...

lol, remember when you were killing your grandmother if you went outside

now you'll get canceled if you don't gather in crowds of thousands

Remember, property can be rebuilt, but lives are lost forever. Unless they die of covid, then they a'ight.

Yeah, this whole article is really to push their book. Don't care and never will.

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Kaiganeer posted...

sounds like a bitch

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New York Times is fucking trash.

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Siaperaz posted...

New York Times is fucking trash.

For a couple years there it seemed like they turned a bit of a leaf but it seems 2020 has come for yet another victim.

But let's not forget this is just an opinion piece.

You can find an infinitely hotter and shit take in the opinion section of your local newspaper.

NYT probably only published this opinion for clicks

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Fuck me the writer of this sounds like a sociopath

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I didnt spend nearly three months of near isolation and a loss of employment to throw it away by risking infection joining a crowd of people.

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This is getting way out of hand.

Let this be a lesson that extreme left and right groups will never be ok.

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AlephZero posted...

lol, remember when you were killing your grandmother if you went outside

now you'll get canceled if you don't gather in crowds of thousands

Yeah, I'm ok with "protesting for a haircut was dumb but this is important enough for me to think protesting is good" but I'm not ok with "everybody SHOULD protest because now it's super safe". Because it isn't any more safe.

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AlephZero posted...

lol, remember when you were killing your grandmother if you went outside

now you'll get canceled if you don't gather in crowds of thousands

Well said. I was thinking about this at work earlier. Has there been any outrage over these protests potentially being hotspots for corona?

First we shut down the economy and put tens of millions out of work. Now hundreds of thousands are packed together in the streets. I dont get it. People upset because they need to work to pay bills are told to stay home and theyre stupid for endangering lives, now those same people who were criticizing are gathering and protesting endangering lives. I dont get it

Keith_Valentine posted...

Well said. I was thinking about this at work earlier. Has there been any outrage over these protests potentially being hotspots for corona?

First we shut down the economy and put tens of millions out of work. Now hundreds of thousands are packed together in the streets. I dont get it. People upset because they need to work to pay bills are told to stay home and theyre stupid for endangering lives, now those same people who were criticizing are gathering and protesting endangering lives. I dont get it

And black people dying of the virus at three times the rate of white people is the only time black lives don't matter. Because, muh protests.

Awful lot of people getting upset at this suggestion because they missed the point entirely in their privilege. I'm not surprised in the slightest.

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Annihilated posted...

And black people dying of the virus at three times the rate of white people is the only time black lives don't matter. Because, muh protests.

Isnt it weird? Like, isnt all this gathering potentially insanely dangerous? Some people on this board not even 2 months ago were saying this thing is gonna wipe out mankind and decimate the world, now its like no one cares. Protest more important. Its ok to protest but not open up the economy when people are losing their job and businesses are closing everywhere. Theres no consistency to this at all.

gunplagirl posted...

Awful lot of people getting upset at this suggestion because they missed the point entirely in their privilege. I'm not surprised in the slightest.

Nar the writer is a having a tantrum

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Kaliesto posted...

This is getting way out of hand.

Let this be a lesson that extreme left and right groups will never be ok.

A) this is stupid but not extreme left
b) so this is as bad as white supremacist murder to you?

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Vivec posted...

A) this is stupid but not extreme left
b) so this is as bad as white supremacist murder to you?

How many white supremacist murders do you think happen in any given year in this country? Go check

alt liberal icon new york times giving a platform to monsters smh

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There's literally nothing wrong in that piece. My old friends from college and I were just talking about this in a group chat

Inadvertently being made to acknowledge white peoples bare minimum has been exhausting. If you're gonna associate with people who aren't interested in justice for black people, your being an "ally" is hollow

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This reads like an incel essay.

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Keith_Valentine posted...

How many white supremacist murders do you think happen in any given year in this country? Go check

1 is worse than this. White supremacy in general is worse than this. Fuck off

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That is some of the dumbest shit Ive ever read.

Its manipulation; if you really love me, youll do what I want you do to.

If you cut someone out of your life solely because they wont attend a protest, youre a child.

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The white people trying to guilt trip other white people thing is sad.

shockthemonkey posted...

Is anyone ITT actually arguing against the premise which is dont make black people coddle your feelings and tell you youre alright; go fucking do something useful?

I dont think anyone is taking issue with that part.

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shockthemonkey posted...

Is anyone ITT actually arguing against the premise which is dont make black people coddle your feelings and tell you youre alright; go fucking do something useful?

I can agree with this

but cutting people out because they won't attend a protest only serves to make them apathetic or worse

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This is turning into extremism.

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AirFresh posted...

This is turning into extremism.

Don't be surprised if there are bad faith actors out there stoking the fires so as to divide the (Left)

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shockthemonkey posted...

Is anyone ITT actually arguing against the premise which is dont make black people coddle your feelings and tell you youre alright; go fucking do something useful?

Thats fine. But guilt tripping your family into doing what you want them to do or else Im not gonna talk to you anymore is fucking dumb.

Then again anyone who would do that to their family is probably a shit head in the first place and no one in their family talks to them anyways.

I do consider making a donation to an organization, but their is no way I'll start guilt tripping people. I might suggest it on my Facebook wall after doing it or something. But that strategy is really dumb. We want to help them, not make blm looks like a cult that isolate people from friends and families

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Keith_Valentine posted...

Isnt it weird? Like, isnt all this gathering potentially insanely dangerous? Some people on this board not even 2 months ago were saying this thing is gonna wipe out mankind and decimate the world, now its like no one cares. Protest more important. Its ok to protest but not open up the economy when people are losing their job and businesses are closing everywhere. Theres no consistency to this at all.

And how suddenly guns are a good idea now if they get to shoot some cops? And how "pro-science" they are even when the health experts are actively lying to the protesters saying that protesting is the only time that gathering in large groups will not transmit the virus? There is a consistency to this, and it is that these leftists have no principles and no basis for morality at all. This is what happens when everything you stand for is based solely on hate. This is what you become. Every issue they stand on is based on what they want RIGHT NOW and what they want RIGHT NOW is whatever the right is against.

Annihilated posted...

And how suddenly guns are a good idea now if they get to shoot some cops? And how "pro-science" they are even when the health experts are actively lying to the protesters saying that protesting is the only time that gathering in large groups will not transmit the virus? There is a consistency to this, and it is that these leftists have no principles and no basis for morality at all. This is what happens when everything you stand for is based solely on hate. This is what you become. Every issue they stand on is based on what they want RIGHT NOW and what they want RIGHT NOW is whatever the right is against.

I am pretty sure health expert never made the claim you made, but ok

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Tbh if you cut me off because I didn't do something you decided I simply had to do, your friendship prolly wasnt worth keeping.

hilarious that people say things like that and think theyre effective motivators to build their coalition

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Siaperaz posted...

New York Times is fucking trash.

This

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epik_fail1 posted...

I am pretty sure health expert never made the claim you made, but ok

"However, as public health advocates, we do not condemn these gatherings as risky for COVID-19 transmission.

https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/05/health/health-care-open-letter-protests-coronavirus-trnd/index.html

When you text me and tell me youre just thinking of me because this fear is momentarily evident to you after seeing the atrocities depicted on CNN, you create work for me. You invite me to coddle you and respond to you and tell you that its not your fault and that you are special. That attacks my dignity. That dehumanizes me.
When you tell me I can share my feelings with you, it is an act of forced intimacy and prods at the detachment Ive purposefully built up over time. You force me to excavate deeply painful feelings Ive buried for my sanity and to avoid offending you. Because I know offending you is dangerous.

When you tell me I dont have to respond, you rob me of the last shred of agency I have in this unwanted exchange by giving me permission to do what I already would have done.

This part here is probably the most ridiculous.

epik_fail1 posted...

I am pretty sure health expert never made the claim you made, but ok

Lol they actually did, while claiming stay-at-home order protests somehow are at risk of transmission. We are living in political Idiocracy.

How awful

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Artemis86 posted...

Lol they actually did, while claiming stay-at-home order protests somehow are at risk of transmission. We are living in political Idiocracy.

That's dumb then. It's obvious plenty of people joining the protests are at risk

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Esrac posted...

When you text me and tell me youre just thinking of me because this fear is momentarily evident to you after seeing the atrocities depicted on CNN, you create work for me. You invite me to coddle you and respond to you and tell you that its not your fault and that you are special. That attacks my dignity. That dehumanizes me.
When you tell me I can share my feelings with you, it is an act of forced intimacy and prods at the detachment Ive purposefully built up over time. You force me to excavate deeply painful feelings Ive buried for my sanity and to avoid offending you. Because I know offending you is dangerous.

When you tell me I dont have to respond, you rob me of the last shred of agency I have in this unwanted exchange by giving me permission to do what I already would have done.

This part here is probably the most ridiculous.

Not to dismiss this persons lived reality gut this is pretty much the opposite of what ive seen everyone else say

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i know a lot of people here are fucking stupid, but i've got to ask... how many people noticed that at the top of the article its clearly listed as an opinion piece?

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monkmith posted...

i know a lot of people here are fucking stupid, but i've got to ask... how many people noticed that at the top of the article its clearly listed as an opinion piece?

I mean its obviously not a news story...what is your point

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But brazen as ever, white people who have my phone number are finding a way to drain my time and energy.

She seems pleasant.

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