Current Events > For those that are not interested in getting married or having kids, why?

(+) Yeah! (+)

doing both of these made my life better IMO

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Government enforced contractual obligations have no place in romantic relationships.

If I did that my wife would probably kill me

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I can barely manage the shitshow that is my own life atm, let alone introducing a wife and kids into it.

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Because I'm gross

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First off, I'm asexual. I don't have cravings for sex, let alone procreation.
Second, I'm an introvert who enjoys the solitude of my home. If I had to share my home with one or more people, I'd never have a place to relax in, much less the time for it. The stress would literally kill me.

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i want to life a semi NEET life for the rest of my life. dont want to go home from work then nagged by annoying twerps crotch fruits or wife complaining i am playing videogames too much.

also wedding ceremonies are gross and huge waste of money

familiarizing to your spouse's family seems like a pain in the ass. i hate people.

i put up a barrier for everyone who try to get close to me

i have trust issues

i utterly have 0 faith in humanity and do not want to perpetuate this shit stain of a species

i also dont have faith for the future and i dont want kids growing up in apocalyptic wasteland

etc

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No idea. I just see people in those kinds of lifestyles, and just know that that isn't how I want to live my life. I actually prefer being alone for the most part.

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I don't see the point in getting married. I've been with my partner for about a decade. We've bought a house together, have pets together. Getting married would literally just be an expensive party at this point.

As for children, I work with kids and I like what I do, but I also like the separation of not having kids when I get home from work. My partner feels the same way.

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ReDaZnDraGoN97 posted...

doing both of these made my life better IMO

Okay that's cool for you.

For those that are not interested in getting married or having kids, why?

It's a life choice that's the epitome of "results may vary."

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Nacen posted...

I can barely manage the shitshow that is my own life atm, let alone introducing a wife and kids into it.

Pretty much, haha.

I also feel like nothing truly lasts forever, and those are both very much forever commitments.

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I wanna get married, but I don't want kids

I was 15 when my brother was born, and I got to experience him growing up (he's 10 now). While I most definitely love him, it hasn't been easy and I have no wish to go through it (plus it'd be even harder with my being a parent instead of a sibling).
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hahahahaha

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Nacen posted...

I can barely manage the shitshow that is my own life atm, let alone introducing a wife and kids into it.

A wife or domestic partner would make things easier for me. Someone to take turns doing the cooking, cleaning, and other chores at home. But I could really do without all the burdens that having a kid would bring.

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Lol, so most of my check can go to bills, kids, and taking my wife out? Sounds good.

No, I like going home from work and not having to go through the motions every day. Plus its like once you get married, you have a pretty big chance of not being able to stand the other person anymore after a few years

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I'm just not interested. In fact the thought of it feels me with existential anxiety. Which I think is the opposite for most people....lol

But whatever. I'm happy with my life

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Raising a kid is one of the biggest obligations a person can undertake and I think just about everybody does so waaaay to lightly.

Also marriage has a pretty high failure rate so it should and children should never be entered into as something to improve life, only as things when life is so amazing that you have to share it.

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I don't feel like giving up my life, money and free time to raise a kid for the next 20 years.
I can be in a relationship without getting married. Looking around, most marriages fail anyway. I would prefer a healthy relationship for as long as it works for both.

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Marriages in the west have a high as hell chance of divorce, and if you have children not only will you be paying alimony and child support you as a man will almost certainly not be able to see those children often if at all.

If you want a wife and family you must go out of the west to a different country to not get fucked over or lose your children.

The odds being so high against you is simply not worth the risk of not only financial ruin but your life being completely fucked up.

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Mainly im a loser and no woman would ever want to look at me unless they were desperate

Also i wouldnt want kids growing up in this climate disaster which will soon turn into complete societal collapse

Thirdly the type of girl im into is the same as me, an otaku type introvert. Two introverts meeting eachother is impossible

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There are way more people in the world than are sustainable in the long run. I don't feel a deep desire to have children, so I won't.

As for marriage: the idea of it seems nice, provided it's with the right person. I don't see it as an absolute must though.

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I've been alive for 30 years. I've seen the relationships. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. Involves a point in their life where the kid(s) factor in the crazy, cheating and divorces come in. If one parent can't handle it then it falls apart. Plain and simple. They aren't pulling their weight wether it be financial or being a supporting s/o. My family's been through it, my friends been through it and my siblings been through it. There's no difference. The patterns all there. Now, here I see it all but if I know so much then why don't I do it? It's a huge risk I'm not gonna gamble on.

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I am not that interested in getting married because I've always been miserable in my relationships. On top of that my parents resented each other most my life, most of my friends parents hated and resented each other, all of my girlfriends parents have hated and resented each other. It just seems to be the common thing in marriage. The one couple who didn't hate each other was my one friends adoptive parents and it was a later in life marriage and also their 2nd marriage each.

On top of this I'm not in a position with my medical issues to really be able to support a wife let alone a child.

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i can't imagine having kids will make my life any better. i like having free time, money, and sleep. every new parent i meet never stops talking about how tired they are, or how they miss being able to do things, but "it's all worth it though". i don't agree. new parents themselves are their own anti-children propaganda

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I'm generally anti social and hate being around other people for extended periods of time. I also enjoy doing things at my own pace and decision.

So having to put quit my hobby like video every so often to take my wife off on mandate, give her my almost undecided attention and essentially dedicate my entire life an resources to her. Weather we stay together or not becuase divoice laws are bullshit doeasnt sit well with me.

I actually enjoy doing so for kids though contradictory enough.

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Cause Murphys law and divorces are nasty

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Marriage is meaningless, I've been with my girl for almost 10 years now and marriage would not add anything positive to our relationship.
I don't want children, but it'll probably happen eventually anyway.

These hoes ain't loyal

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I feel like I've been propagandized against marriage most of my life, its outdated, a bad deal for men, you lose freedoms ect... but now I'm at a certain age and have a sweet lil woman who loves me so much its overwhelming sometimes. Makes my biological imperatives tingle with the idea of locking her down to start a brood of my own. Now the prospect of teaching my hypothetical children about life, contributing to the anthill of society, doesn't sound so bad even with the risk of financial ruin. Might be a trap but we'll see.

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TC, times have changed, and for the worse I believe...

Less people want to live for others, when they dont realize that LIVING for others benefits you more than video games and takeout dinners. Being selfless will make you feel content and happy, while this culture has poisoned us into thinking the opposite.

As for marriage, nothing better than waking up to someone you love, and forming a bond with them that is unbreakable. Asking for their hand in marriage makes you say No matter what, I choose you, and that goes beyond No matter what, I choose you, but just in case, lets remain boyfriend and girlfriend! Divorce culture, and people seeing their parents divorce, has made people jaded towards marriage. Its great, IMO.

Also, kids. Lots of people hate them, without realizing that they WERE them. Kids are great, they can be loud and obnoxious, but so can adults, and adults can be even more so. Kids need to be disciplined and taken care of, not dropped off at a daycare and ignored at home for social media.

If you pour in those around you, it will benefit you. People just dont believe that anymore, though.

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I wouldn't say I don't want to get married, but so many of my friends have ended up in relationships they hate, but don't want to end, that I just don't want to marry the wrong person.

So I am more than happy to hide my time and stay single until either that happens, or it doesn't. I am happy as is for now.

puppy posted...

TC, times have changed, and for the worse I believe...

Less people want to live for others, when they dont realize that LIVING for others benefits you more than video games and takeout dinners. Being selfless will make you feel content and happy, while this culture has poisoned us into thinking the opposite.

As for marriage, nothing better than waking up to someone you love, and forming a bond with them that is unbreakable. Asking for their hand in marriage makes you say No matter what, I choose you, and that goes beyond No matter what, I choose you, but just in case, lets remain boyfriend and girlfriend! Divorce culture, and people seeing their parents divorce, has made people jaded towards marriage. Its great, IMO.

Also, kids. Lots of people hate them, without realizing that they WERE them. Kids are great, they can be loud and obnoxious, but so can adults, and adults can be even more so. Kids need to be disciplined and taken care of, not dropped off at a daycare and ignored at home for social media.

If you pour in those around you, it will benefit you. People just dont believe that anymore, though.

If you need a marriage certificate to remain loyal in your relationship, you are not worth being in a relationship with IMO.
You can care for your partner and kids just the same without one and be neglectful even though you are married. In fact, it seems to happen in marriages fairly often that one part feels they are "locked down" so any effort is not needed anymore.

I can barely handle myself. I could never raise a kid properly

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Cranie posted...

If you need a marriage certificate to remain loyal in your relationship, you are not worth being in a relationship with IMO.
You can care for your partner and kids just the same without one and be neglectful even though you are married. In fact, it seems to happen in marriages fairly often that one part feels they are "locked down" so any effort is not needed anymore.

Yeah, an element of maintaining a healthy relationship is knowing that it only continues to exist through mutual benefit and either party can end it if that dynamic ends.

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IloveJesus posted...

I don't see the point in getting married. I've been with my partner for about a decade. We've bought a house together, have pets together. Getting married would literally just be an expensive party at this point.

As for children, I work with kids and I like what I do, but I also like the separation of not having kids when I get home from work. My partner feels the same way.

I'm already married, but aside from that, all this is me and my wife too.
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I don't have an opinion on getting married. Would it would not. Either way, makes no difference to me.

Having kids would be terrible though. I wouldn't want anyone to have to depend on me for basic life necessities. Too much stress. Plus there is having to deal with them all the time. I like seeing my nieces and nephew but part of the appeal is that I'm not directly responsible for them.
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An alarming trend I've noticed among a very large amount of men in 2020 is that they possess almost none of the characteristics that have made men who they are for thousands of years. In fact, these creatures can only be considered "men" in the sense that they have aged the correct number of years to be considered adult males.

These men (most of whom are liberals) tend to have an enormous sense of entitlement, shirk responsibility, fear commitment, and only opt to do things when it is directly rewarding to them. In a sense, they are not real men but rather adult children, with a narrow mindset and no capacity to look at the "big picture."

No area is this more evident in than when you will see many of these "men" (liberals) talk about how they refuse to date a woman simply because she is a single mom, and they don't want to "raise another man's kid."

This is disgusting. Not only are these men choosing loneliness and isolation over a healthy adult relationship because of a human life, but they are also depriving themselves of one of the greatest joys of life (fatherhood) simply because they did not contribute DNA to this child.

For the last 2 years, I have been dating a single mom, and it has been the most rewarding experience of my life. Aiden, Braiden, and Caiden are like my own children to me, and even though I do not share a DNA bond with them and they call me by my first name, I feel a powerful and immutable connection. It takes a big man to want to become a dad to these kids, to help a single mom in her noble quest, and to deal with the fathers of Aiden, Braiden, and Caiden, and I believe I am that man.

It is very disheartening to see so many young men fall into the trap of entitlement and selfishness - to avoid family life based on some silly preconceived notions, to feel they are entitled to have a family on THEIR terms, and to only have children when it provides some sense of satisfaction to them. To me, it personally fulfilling to watch Aiden, Braiden, and Caiden every other weekend (hearing them say "oh, hey Romulox28 (my actual name)" when I come over is one of the most satisfying things in a "father's" life), and I don't need the satisfaction that I somehow contributed to the conception of these children.


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puppy posted...

TC, times have changed, and for the worse I believe...

Less people want to live for others, when they dont realize that LIVING for others benefits you more than video games and takeout dinners. Being selfless will make you feel content and happy, while this culture has poisoned us into thinking the opposite.

As for marriage, nothing better than waking up to someone you love, and forming a bond with them that is unbreakable. Asking for their hand in marriage makes you say No matter what, I choose you, and that goes beyond No matter what, I choose you, but just in case, lets remain boyfriend and girlfriend! Divorce culture, and people seeing their parents divorce, has made people jaded towards marriage. Its great, IMO.

Also, kids. Lots of people hate them, without realizing that they WERE them. Kids are great, they can be loud and obnoxious, but so can adults, and adults can be even more so. Kids need to be disciplined and taken care of, not dropped off at a daycare and ignored at home for social media.

If you pour in those around you, it will benefit you. People just dont believe that anymore, though.

im good brah


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@puppy
When not if but when you get divorce screwed your never going to recover talking like this, ignoring the facts, and believing that marriage prevents your partner from cheating on you or blatantly ignoring the fact that divorce rates are through the roof high is a cold hard fact. The only reason they have even begun to lower is because less people are getting married.

If you honestly think being selfless and living for others is best not only are you going to be used, abused and seen as totally disposable like a dirty napkin but you have zero self worth from the sound of it. Being selfish means you look out for yourself first and your making sure your doing ok before anything else, Its self preservation. It does not mean you cant help others but it does mean your not putting other people before your well being.

You do not need to be married to have a happy or good relationship, and it is often un married long term couples are happier then people who are married. No one I know that is married is happy, yet the living in sin couples of 20 and 30 years are often the happiest people around.

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Chose not to have kids, I don't see a reason to justify it to TC.

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Lower the cost of having a kid I'd I'd consider it.

You're looking at 5k in hospital bills if there are no issues with the birth.

DakotaPrescott posted...

Lower the cost of having a kid I'd I'd consider it.

You're looking at 5k in hospital bills if there are no issues with the birth.

lmao

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We have an absolutely amazing life with wonderful vacations every year wandering around new cities and attending music festivals, and a very comfortable standard of living at home. Impossible to live the life that I love with kids, which I've never wanted to have. I couldn't give less of a fuck about blood lines or family names or any of that shit. I just want us to grow old together, experiencing this brief life on our own terms. Which is what we're doing.

The children thing, I think, is about a sense of freedom. Its pretty nice just being able to do whatever the fuck you want, without having basically being tied down the needs of a completely dependent person at all times, for years.

Im not saying that I dont ever want children, but right now Im 32, just got a nice promotion, and honestly, Im really glad that the trip I booked to go to Disney at the end of the year is just with a girl, and not a little person I have to wrangle and consider the whole time. Also, there really is something to be said for not getting up multiple times a night to change diapers and shit.

Im not trying to shit talk parenthood, and I totally get the appeal. Like I said, Ill probably want a kid some day..I understand how majorly fulfilling that experience can be. I just can totally see the other side of it, and right now, thats what Im living. Its pretty great.

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i'm married. the wife and i both feel that if she got pregnant, we'd be okay with it. but we're doing what we can to avoid it. we just don't want to deal with the time, money and sleep loss.

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Wouldn't rule either out, but I find fulfillment doing other things that don't require an 18+ year commitment.

Nacen posted...

I can barely manage the shitshow that is my own life atm, let alone introducing a wife and kids into it.

This
ALIEN_WORK2HOP posted...

I don't feel like giving up my life, money and free time to raise a kid for the next 20 years.
I can be in a relationship without getting married. Looking around, most marriages fail anyway. I would prefer a healthy relationship for as long as it works for both.

and this.

While I only work 32 hours a week, my free time is devoted to living to help others, and so is my career. I currently don't have a special person in my life, but i have people surrounding me that love me, and I love the people who are in my life as well.

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You don't have to follow the life script.

I'd like to get married some day, but I'm not really in a good place to do so right now. It would also help if I actually had a girlfriend in the first place too, lol.

I don't really care if I have kids or not. I don't really feel the need to have any, but wouldn't be opposed to it if my wife wanted one or two.
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@RiKuToTheMiGhtY

I see where you are coming from, but its still a scary view to have towards the world. I dont know what kind of household you were raised in, but I hope it didnt persuade you towards this outlook of get mine first. Most people who grow up in divorced families have this mindset, and its hard to break, cause you see your closest humans, parents, go through hell, and usually are against each other.

Your mindset is unfortunately the new normal, and it will continue to be, because our culture is a divorce culture. Our dating websites are trading cards, which contains this lie that there is always someone better. People divorce for the stupidest reasons, as no one can forgive anyone anymore, as there is always this nicer thing around the corner.

I couldnt imagine a life where Im just out to get mine and screw everyone over along the process. If everyone had your mindset, charities, churches, or government programs for assistance wouldnt exist. Im taking it to the extreme however, as I know you have a good heart, it was just ruined by outside influences. Again, if Im assuming, I apologize.

We are all going to die one day, Id rather die with loved ones around me, then alone in an old folks home. I want to live my life where I love and serve others more than myself, thats the stuff that will make this world a better place.

(sorry to get preachy, I hope you see where Im coming from.)


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