Current Events > Would it be a bad idea to break up with my gf of 3 years via email?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Before you smash that "yes" button, hear me out.

I could tell something was up for a while. Hard to say exactly what, but when you're with someone long enough you just know. Something about how she was always on her phone (more than she used to), how her smile never reached her eyes, how she suddenly wanted to do her own thing on new years when just 6 months ago she was raving about how she couldn't wait to spend it with me.

So I did the thing you're not supposed to do, and I checked her phone.

It's bad ce. Really bad. She had a tinder profile, she was sexting a couple of dudes and sending nudes, and she was arranging to meet the one guy she told me not to worry about that she knew I was worried about.

Even worse than all that, she just..trashed me constantly to her friends. She mocked things I was insecure about, and spoke about me to them like I was an an annoying but convenient sidepiece. We've been together 3 years. We were gonna move in together in the next month.

The worst part, her mother was in on it too. Like her mother encouraged her to cheat. This woman sent me fucking christmas presents and was telling her daughter to have an affair.

So yeah, I'm pretty fucking crushed. I don't want to even see her, and I don't think respect matters anymore because clearly she hasn't had any for me in a long time. I was gonna confess everything I know in an email and send it just before midnight and then block her on all social media. Thoughts?

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Don't do it by email. That's a bitch move.

Be a man and just call her and break up.

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Wii_Shaker posted...

Don't do it by email. That's a bitch move.

Be a man and just call her and break up.

A phone call is just as much of a 'bitch move'

TC, do whatever feels right, if emailing saves you some hurt, go for it, you don't owe her anything if that's how she's behaved

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Wii_Shaker posted...

Don't do it by email. That's a bitch move.

Be a man and just call her and break up.

I kind of want to be as dismissive as possible, thats where I am coming from with that

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In person break-ups are overrated.

Nothing wrong with organizing and collecting your thoughts into an e-mail.
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Do her mom and email her the vid

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OneTruePlayer81 posted...

A phone call is just as much of a 'bitch move'

No.

But do whatever you want.

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MildlyIrkedOwl posted...

. She had a tinder profile, she was sexting a couple of dudes and

Yeah, just break up over email. She doesn't deserve a respectful breakup

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Umbreon posted...

Yeah, just break up over email. She doesn't deserve a respectful breakup

She also doesn't deserve to get off that easy.


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Do it by telegram
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Why give her anything? Just cut communication and all contact starting right now. Dont answer if she callsnothing. Completely ghost her.

Fuck people that cheat. Especially in long term relationships like that.

Shes too much of a coward to break up with you, so shes going to try and have her cake and eat it tooso poison the cake.

Legit bro, you will be way happier if you do this. Dont even bother telling her why youre ignoring her. Just legit 100% ghost mode and move on.

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Urgh, she knows something's up. She's wanting to talk.

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N3xtG3nGam3r posted...

Why give her anything? Just cut communication and all contact starting right now. Dont answer if she callsnothing. Completely ghost her.

Fuck people that cheat. Especially in long term relationships like that.

Shes too much of a coward to break up with you, so shes going to try and have her cake and eat it tooso poison the cake.

Legit bro, you will be way happier if you do this. Dont even bother telling her why youre ignoring her. Just legit 100% ghost mode and move on.

Half her stuff is still at mine. Some of mine is at hers. She will 100% just turn up at my door if I don't talk to her for a day. It's not practical to just cut comms.

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NeonOctopus posted...

Do it by telegram

Singing telegram.

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Tl add to my above statementIm coming from that angle, because if you dont respect yourself, then finding another girl in your group of friends, or social circles will be harder. Women like a man who will stand for themselves and others. Dont let her string you along anymore, and DEFINITELY do not try and show up at her New Years gathering, or her work, or anything stupid and start a scene. All she will do is turn it back on you and embarrass you further. Shes literally already treated you worse than shit. Youre dead to her if shes doing the shit youre saying. Swallow the hard pill and get on with your life. Put her shit in a box and leave it in front of her door with a note that says return my things in the same fashionor get a friend to get your stuff. Dont take her calls, texts, and if she tries to track you down or show up a week or two later with the alligator tears, turn and kick rocks.

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The mom was encouraging her to cheat? What a shit parent. No wonder her daughter is a total c***.

Do you live in an apartment? If so either put that stuff in the hall or leave it and arrange a time for her to get it.

Make SURE you have someone there on your side. You need a witness when it comes to stuff. Heck, record the event too.

Based on what you said you are letting her off light with an email and you're not telling her it looks like all her stuff "just disappeared" from your place.

Breakups can get bad and if she disrespects you enough to go behind your back she could F with you other ways too and thinkbyoure just going to take it.

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thrashmetal14 posted...

The mom was encouraging her to cheat? What a shit parent. No wonder her daughter is a total c***.

Lol this is par for the course nowadays. I feel sorry for people in their late teens/early 20s. My daughters mother died 4 years ago when she was almost 25. I dated one girl after she passed 2 years ago and it reinforced the fact that my life partner match was already expended when she died. No more dating for me. Especially not with a daughter in the picture.

OP...i met my daughters mom right after a relationship exactly like yours, except I gave her another chance after we broke up and she fucked someone else while still trying to keep me on the back burner. I did exactly what I told you, and it was liberating, and I was overflowing with confidence and charisma to the point I met my daughters mom and had her ready to marry me 3 months in. People that are loyal and know what they want will not only tell you but show you...drop that bitch and do what I did. Youll find something so much better, i guarantee it.

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Do it.

Make sure to get anything that belongs to you away from her before you do though.

For some bonus points, put her on blast to her friends and family. Really burn that bridge on that THOT so you couldnt go back even if you were tempted to.

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SH_expert44 posted...

put her on blast to her friends and family.

I think it's a bad idea to bring anybody else into your personal drama.

I seriously doubt TC will be tempted to go back.

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Wii_Shaker posted...

I think it's a bad idea to bring anybody else into your personal drama.

I seriously doubt TC will be tempted to go back.

All he needs to say is I broke up with her because Im tired of wasting time with someone who is afraid to say what they want.

if they probe any further he can just add she wanted to be with other people while seeing me exclusively, and wouldnt say so, so I acted accordingly.

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Keep us updated TC.

Also, if you need someone to talk to, or confide in privately, you can PM me. Ive been through some of the worst relationships, and some of the best ones, and can give you any advice youre looking for. These things are easy to get thru when you have someone to bounce your ideas and feelings off of and vent to, especially someone whos gone through the same type of shit.

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N3xtG3nGam3r posted...

That's rough man, but sounds like you came out on top. I'm really lost right now so I'm going to wait on the email plan, on second thoughts I think what I drafted comes across self pitying.

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Dude, just cut the bitch off. Ghost her ass.

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The strongest move you can make is no contact. Send her an email. Tell her it's over. I wouldn't even bring up what you found out about her. Let her own imagination try to figure it out. Just stay completely firm in the break-up and keeping any communication strictly to what's absolutely necessary to get her shit out of your life.

Do not give an inch in this. No matter what she says to you, no matter what she tries, do not do or say anything except the bare minimum.

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N3xtG3nGam3r posted...

Why give her anything? Just cut communication and all contact starting right now. Dont answer if she callsnothing. Completely ghost her.

This, fuck that bitch. Don't give her shit. Don't show any emotion by breaking up with her in person or sending a long emotional text - she'd probably like that and laugh with her friends about it.

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Shit, matter of fact, pack the gifts her bitch mom gave you in the the mf box too my guy.

I know what its like to want to say something to her, and let her know that you know, and then demand an answer from her, or condescend toward her and lay out her actions and how she is deplorable and expect to be seated in the righteous position and get all the closure you deserve and all the questions answered you have after a 3 year long relationship is completely trashed and destroyed beyond repair...but...it wont happen.

if shes already talking shit behind your back, not only to her whack ass friends, but she has HER MOM somehow on her side telling her to cheat and whatever else? Bro...that bitch either has her friends and mom wrapped around her finger and has told them some ridiculous shit and has master manipulated a bunch of people, or they are just as garbage of human beings as heror both. But either way, its clear she resents you to the point of talking all this shit and getting all these people on her side (true or not mind you), so all you actually confronting her would even do is cause her to pull the youre crazy card for checking into your suspicionstrust me it sounds clinically handicapped as fuck, but she will try and excuse her actions by saying youre crazy for having suspicion, checking her phone, etc, EVEN WHEN YOURE RIGHTas well as get defensive enough to drop whatever emotional bombs on you for whatever youve done wrong (that may have helped pushed her to act this way) to her <do NOT fall for this either. Even if what she says is deadass true, and you were an unintelligible asshole who had no idea your actions were hurting her, she didnt bring it to ur attention, or try and work thru it or address it, she went ahead and cheated. So, moot point, but a dangerous trap to spin it back on you.

There are seriously so many reasons I can think of that you should ghost her, but honestly the number one reason is because this right hereall this shit im talking about right nowthis is her domain. Men address problems with logic, women address problems with emotion, especially when caught in a dangerous situation like youve got her in...and she will prey and appeal to your emotions, and have you literally feeling bad for her, for her cheating...like shes some tormented soul by your actions. You cant fall for this bullshit. Because thats exactly what it is...bullshit.

Im serious man, if you need to talk or need help with how to handle this, I will help you out, help you formulate a plan to execute...just pm me. She sounds like absolute trash, and like she would do all the things listed above just based on the fact shes gone and told her friends and family some bullshit about you that has them thinking cheating and destroying your relationship is a better alternative to breaking up with you or working it out and talking to you about it.

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Mate, be an adult.

Sit her down, tell her you know what's up and make it very clear it's over and say your goodbyes.

Then walk away.

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JustMyOpinion posted...

Originally, I'd say yes, but after that I'm all for a short text along the lines of "You know what you did. Don't ever contact me again." She'll probably blow up your phone after so you'd have to block her.

Bingo

or You know what you are

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jeffhardyb0yz posted...

@
Ew youre just as bad as she is. Ghosting someone of 3 years with no explanation is bitter and gross. It takes two minutes to call up someone and break up with them. Feel bad for anyone who dates you if youre capable of this.

also TC dont tell her you went through her phone. Just tell her you know about everything and cant be with someone who disrespects you like that. THEN you dont answer her calls anymore.

Nobody listen to this guy/girl. Its probably TCs girlfriend.

Dont be an apologist for her trash ass. She has violated him in a shit tons of ways already and hasnt even brought any of it to his attention. She deserves absolutely nothing at this point from him.


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yeah, fuck taking the high road on this one. You need to slam this THOT hard.

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Personally, I wouldnt tell her all the things you know. Definitely dont tell her you snooped her phone. I dont fault you for what you did, in fact I would have encouraged it. But dont let her know you did.

But Im a sneaky little shit. You gotta be you. She wants to talk, fine. But go into it knowing that youre done. Make it clear you think the thing has run its course.

Every thing that you know that other people dont know that you know is leverage. Dont try to be the caught you in a lie big winner. The only way that you win in this scenario is you getting out of the relationship. Preferably as smoothly as possible.

If they become an issue down the road, then youll still have your leverage and can act accordingly. But if you can break it off free and clear with no fallout, take that as a win.

Nah, if what you said was true that b**** doesnt even deserve that. A note that says Goodbye would suffice

If you really want to spiral her and take the low road then tell her that one of her friends told you that she was cheating on you but dont say who.

You've been together for 3 years so you must see each other often. Do it in person so she can have the chance to feel bad about it. Reading doesn't have as strong of an effect on people.

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alimajor posted...

Nah, if what you said was true that b**** doesnt even deserve that. A note that says Goodbye would suffice

If you really want to spiral her and take the low road then tell her that one of her friends told you that she was cheating on you but dont say who.

Damn, thats good. Make her paranoid as fuck. Could be an issue unless you know how many people might know though. There could easily be details that she hasnt given to anyone. Might be a complete double life situation too. I personally wouldnt risk that, but I like the way you think.

jeffhardyb0yz posted...

@
Ew youre just as bad as she is. Ghosting someone of 3 years with no explanation is bitter and gross. It takes two minutes to call up someone and break up with them. Feel bad for anyone who dates you if youre capable of this.

also TC dont tell her you went through her phone. Just tell her you know about everything and cant be with someone who disrespects you like that. THEN you dont answer her calls anymore.

Also, just to addshe clearly has her next gig lined up just fine, probably for tonight. I bet if he ghosted her she wouldnt even call him til after she fucked her tinder match and he kicked her out at 3am, and then want to come to his house and crawl in bed with him, or worse, fuck some rando in her bed, where he fucks her and sleeps too.

i cant rationally understand why you think anyone who acts the way she does deserves any amount of respect from him at this point. Unless youre a woman...which then would make this all make complete sense.

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jeffhardyb0yz posted...

Except for the numerous CEmen who agree he should call her/let her know its over and then not take her calls. Its what adults do.

Yawn, youre clearly still bitter about the girl who cheated on you in the past. I can feel the bitterness and hurt in your post as you typed up that long rant about how crazy etc etc and clearly projecting your ex into the situation and encouraging TC to do this. Muhaha if you need help executing order 66 on that crazy manipulative bitch, I will be glad to help you muhaha. I did it and I had so much confidence that I pulled another girl and had her ready to marry me in 3 months!!

Pro-tip: Said confidence seems more like masking hurt and insecurity that dating the new girl was more like over compensating for being cheated on.

my advice for you is to truly let go man. Your encouragement of tc isnt healthy at all

No, its called learning from your mistakes. I wouldnt have had the great relationship with my now deceased wife if I harbored all the hate and insecurities you think I do.

ive got a soft spot for guys who let women take advantage of them. They need guidance. TC needs guidance, and he needs to turn this into a win, after taking such a huge L.

its remarkably simple.

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@jeffhardyb0yz

i dont want to derail the thread with a side argument between you and I, so as much as I hate the aGrEe To DiSaGrEe bullshit, thats what Im going to say.

Theres just as many guys if not more saying not to give the bitch anything at all, so that doesnt even matter.

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Tag

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Tired-Insomniac posted...

Tag

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Break up w her on tinder

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Usually it would be but in this situation do whatever you want.

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Tag for the eventual update

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