Poll of the Day > One of my senior managers just told me about how he called someone the n word

(+) Yeah! (+)

5 of us in the office were joking about something mildly related. And he just jumped in and said thats not the worst thing Ive said - I called someone a ***** once. So I was just shocked and kinda laughed it off.

so he told the story about how the guy was gonna make him miss his completion targets so he just lost his cool and called him a *****. I just laughed it off again and said lol no need to justify yourself to me bro

But now Im not sure if I should be more offended or if I was right to just laugh it off. The guy is senior management, he should def know better

later on somebody asked me if Im offended and I was just like yeah Im okay not like he called me a *****. And he was like lol not yet as a joke. Thing is I laughed that off but I was starting to think fuck me I wish he would call me a *****, but then I think lol no dont wanna feed into the stereotype

hmmm

---

I used to hear it at one workplace all the time by my coworkers. I am not offended but the patients and residents weren't impressed at all

FatalAccident posted...

I was starting to think fuck me I wish he would call me a *****,

why

---

DirtBasedSoap posted...

why

I think I took offence to the not yet, he got away with it the first time and hes arrogant enough to joke about doing it again to me

---

Do you work for Papa John's?

Nah I work for a property developer

---

I was just making a john schnatter reference

Heres a warning: Though I dont condone that type of behavior... youd be surprise how well connected senior management can be. THEY cant literally shoot someone on the 5th floor of the office building, and not even get talked to by HR.

I know that staying quiet is just letting bad things to continue to happen... but... if youre fired, bad things will still happen AND youll be unemployed.

---

call the police on him. it is illegal to say that word

I say if someone wants to use that word, let them

that way everyone else knows that theyre an asshole and to be mean to them

---

You were right to just laugh it off, it's just a word and words only have the power you put into them

---

To quote South Park, no, he doesn't know how that feels, and he never will, so he sounds like kind of a dick for joking around about that. That's my opinion.

---

you literally can't even say na ggers on this sight

because of course you cant

---

Muscles posted...

You were right to just laugh it off, it's just a word and words only have the power you put into them

shut up

---

Muscles posted...

You were right to just laugh it off, it's just a word and words only have the power you put into them

Thats not quite how it works lol

---

FatalAccident posted...

Thats not quite how it works lol

How so? The only effect of words is your response to them, so if you don't respond strongly, they are weak.
---

Kyuubi4269 posted...

How so? The only effect of words is your response to them, so if you don't respond strongly, they are weak.

Wait what word are we talking about again? Type it out completely uncensored so there is no confusion.

---

Smiffwilm posted...

Wait what word are we talking about again? Type it out completely uncensored so there is no confusion.

GameFAQs gives it power because it's weak.
---

Kyuubi4269 posted...

GameFAQs gives it power because it's weak.

Thought so.

---

FatalAccident posted...

So I was just shocked and kinda laughed it off.

Not sure why it would be all that shocking. Most folk have probably said something racist at least once in their life.

FatalAccident posted...

I think I took offence to the not yet, he got away with it the first time and hes arrogant enough to joke about doing it again to me

I doubt he gives a shit that you're a snowflake. Given the context you need thicker skin.

---

I think people are forgetting that TC is black, which makes the remark from his boss twice as bad tbh

---

FrozenBananas posted...

I think people are forgetting that TC is black, which makes the remark from his boss twice as bad tbh

I don't care his race as racism can and does happen to any race. However again it's all about context as to if you should feel offended or not. Just like any other insult.

---

If my senior manager calls me a n***** Im a snowflake and need thicker skin? Really?

or are you talking specifically about the not yet

---

FatalAccident posted...

If my senior manager calls me a n***** Im a snowflake and need thicker skin? Really?

If he directly insults you by saying it in a bad way then no. Doesn't seem like that's the case though. On the other side of the coin if anyone said anything racist to him as a direct insult I'd say the same. Context is everything when it comes to insults.

FatalAccident posted...

or are you talking specifically about the not yet

More about seemingly getting offended over a story he was telling that is past. Also the "not yet part" that was probably a tongue in cheek comment. It's not very professional to even joke about these things but I wouldn't take it to heart unless he starts going off on racist rant.

---

Agreed, it is about context.

But the problem when it comes to people in the workplace and somebody in their positions it throws up a whole lot of unknowns. If hes brave enough to call someone a ****** to their face, what is he actually saying? What specific behaviour is the guy showing that my manager associates with ******s? Am I one bad interaction away from being called a ****** myself? Does he have an inherent bias against black people?

Ultimately though he didnt directly call me a ****** but tbh the fact that he can even joke about calling me a ****** is almost bad enough because youre thinking about intentionally using a racially charged word to try to undermine somebody

---

you should have called him out. have some self respect

---

FatalAccident posted...

throws up a whole lot of unknowns.

It certainly does if you think about it too much.

---

wwinterj25 posted...

It certainly does if you think about it too much.

you seem to be going in the exact opposite direction

---

Mead posted...

you seem to be going in the exact opposite direction

You seem to shitpost a lot but hey nobody is perfect. It's also fitting you post in this topic. Try to not get warned for racism again.

---

wwinterj25 posted...

It's fitting you post in this topic. Try to not get warned for racism again.

but what if I feel like it

---

Man youd hate working in the patch.

---

FatalAccident posted...

But the problem when it comes to people in the workplace and somebody in their positions it throws up a whole lot of unknowns. If hes brave enough to call someone a ****** to their face, what is he actually saying? What specific behaviour is the guy showing that my manager associates with ******s? Am I one bad interaction away from being called a ****** myself? Does he have an inherent bias against black people?

These are unimportant unknowns. If he does a bad then you can call him out, until then just ignore it. Your boss can be whatever he wants and give himself whatever reputation he chooses, if what he does bothers you then you're free to leave.

FatalAccident posted...

Ultimately though he didnt directly call me a ****** but tbh the fact that he can even joke about calling me a ****** is almost bad enough

This just in: jokes are as bad as prejudicial attacks, we must clamp down on shit humour.

FatalAccident posted...

youre thinking about intentionally using a racially charged word to try to undermine somebody

That's just mean-spirited. It doesn't say anything good about his character, but I'm sure everybody at some point says something just to upset someone. Nobody's perfect and if somebody is vulnerable to something as simple as a word, that's some low-hanging fruit.
---

Sounds like the utterance may have been inspired more by the person's quality of character rather than their skin color, in which case, while probably unacceptable professionally, I personally wouldn't fault it. That you seem to be really concerned about this makes me think you may be overreacting/oversensitive.

I had to deal with a racist manager for a span of time starting a couple years ago. Always aggressive/hostile, accusatory in all situations, to the point of making things up to tell you that you did something wrong to yell at you for, unwilling to compromise or cooperate effectively, even with other managers, and always putting the rush on yet talking in circles, taking at least 3x the time it would take anyone else to make a point are just a small sample of his traits.

My first impression was that he was just a hardass, later I figured he was just a total asshole. It wasn't until much much later when I saw him acting jovial, even submissive around others, which was EXTREMELY out of character for him. Then later he was back to his usual insufferable self, then a while later, I saw him in sunshine mode again. That's when it hit me, like a ton of bricks. The only time he bore any semblance to a pleasant individual was when he was around people with the same skin color as himself.

The next time he brought me back for coaching (berating, humiliation, assertion of dominance) under shaky at best pretenses, I maintained my composure during his treatment for some 10+ minutes, then after a particularly scathing bit of treatment, I went total dread-rage. With all the stress that had built up over the last year and a half, I came THIS CLOSE to smashing that guy's head open against the door, bursting it like the worlds ugliest water-balloon. But I kept it under my skin (I'd be surprised if anyone in the room didn't feel a wave of dread though), I swallowed my rage, and maintained physical and verbal composure, then I let it fly about how the bastard harassed me at every encounter. I never once called him a racist, but because I knew he was one, I no longer felt compelled to tolerate him.

He was investigated, and later terminated.

Anyway, my point is, you should worry less about what a person says, and more about what they do. While certain words may be unpleasant for some people, and you should be upfront about that, merely using certain words isn't as important as how they're used, and nowhere near the worst an actual racist will put you through.

---

Shadowbird_RH posted...

nowhere near the worst an actual racist will put you through.

What's the difference between an actual racist and someone who calls a black person the n-word?

I don't think it's right that you stood there and took the bs from your manager until you were about to break because you couldn't stand up for yourself the moment you saw a pattern. You deserved better don't you think? Waiting to get to a point where rage and frusteration takes over is not a good strategy. If you say nothing, then you are letting the manager set a precedent that leaves you open to being disrespected. There's nothing shameful about pulling a manager aside in private and voicing your concern in a professional way, all though I would have spoke up immediately in tc's case.

---

Mead posted...

but what if I feel like it

Then have at it. I wouldn't recommend it though.

nogaems posted...

What's the difference between an actual racist and someone who calls a black person the n-word?

A actual racist does it repeatedly constantly and to anyone of a certain race. They can and often do get physical too. A person who just says a racist word is normally just saying it to one person and doesn't say it often at all. I think their is a big difference between a real racist and a person who just says a racist word.

---

If a guy drops an N bomb on someone once, he'll do it again. My brother's fiancee flat out quit a job when she was sent on an errand to get some ice, and walked back in to the kitchen JUST in time to hear the dude say "Where the hell is that N***** with that ice I sent her to get?" she was just like "Yeah, I'm done here" dumped the ice out and walked off.

DeathMagnetic80 posted...

If a guy drops an N bomb on someone once, he'll do it again. My brother's fiancee flat out quit a job when she was sent on an errand to get some ice, and walked back in to the kitchen JUST in time to hear the dude say "Where the hell is that N***** with that ice I sent her to get?" she was just like "Yeah, I'm done here" dumped the ice out and walked off.

Wow

just wow

---

I've said it outloud when I was angry after being hurt,
not in a mean way just like f***** b****
but instead f***** n*******
the black guy there thought it was funny

if you say that in public, you should expect to get an ass whooping
a lot of people should get their asses whooped and instead what happens is someone brings a gun to work the next day

---

FatalAccident posted...

5 of us in the office were joking about something mildly related. And he just jumped in and said thats not the worst thing Ive said - I called someone a ***** once. So I was just shocked and kinda laughed it off.

Really? He puts that above the myriad of other awful things he's likely done in his life?

---