Board 8 > lol the Catholic Church is awful.

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red13n
11/04/19 7:03:28 PM
#1:


So story time. My grandpa is...kind of dying(He has nothing wrong with him but will to live is gone so he doesn't drink or eat much or do much of anything. He could easily live for awhile but at some point the universe will do us a favor and something will finally stop working).

He doesn't get out much so he hasnt been able to go to his Church(St. Hillary, Pico Rivera, CA). Hes belonged to that church since before that church existed(They used an old hall for mass while the church was being built). Though volunteering and countless donations the amount hes actually given to the church is a number I don't really want to contemplate. But hes been heavily involved with it since its inception, he had 7 kids he took through the church, a few grandkids, etc. He helped run a Senior travel group through the church among other things. Basically, of local people, he probably put more of his time and money into the church than probably anyone.

So get to today, he hasn't been able to go to church for about a year and a half or so. He was a religious dude, so he missed actually going to church or having any involvement(He made us order a church channel over the cable, which he watches occasionally even though it drives me nuts because it is literally a far right propaganda stream disguised as church). We've been trying to go through the Church to get someone to come give him Communion or something like that, they did it for a couple weeks and then they just stopped. Finally this last month we had a home hospice care setup with him, and they come with a spiritual advisor(Who also acts kind of as a go-between for you and your local church). He tried contacting the church to get someone to come out, eventually he came back to us told us we had to contact them because they wouldn't do much for him.

So today my mom actually gets ahold of someone at the church, they try to tell us we belong to a different church in the area, but after some discussion and realization that "hey this guy is 94 hes been to this church longer than the churches existence" they agreed to send a priest out to our house to see my grandpa(Or bless him or whatever they do). Send is...a word for it as we had to provide transportation for the priest(This is just weird or whatever, the church is like 5 minutes away so whatever, we pick him up and bring him here).

His first words to my grandpa when he gets here..."You know, this place is a little bit outside of my parish next time you should call another church so they could send someone out". Seriously? A 94 year old man that has been desperately missing your church, that has belonged to your parish since its inception and your first words are that he belongs to another parish?

We've had enough bad dealings with the church(When my grandma was dying, they had no one at the church available for her last rites, we literally couldnt get ahold of anyone) that I just walked out and let the priest and my grandpa talk.

When the priest walked out our door and out of earshot of my grandpa, I told him that his first words to my grandpa, whom had dedicated more of his life to his church than anyone, were that he belonged to a different parish was rude and shameful. Rather than apologize or anything, the priest reponded to me "well I feel shame for you because you just absorb what you hear on the TV or internet". Seriously, rather than feel anything, the priest decided to respond to me by attacking my character. I immediately called him out for this, saying that his response to me telling him he was rude was to judge my character(Unrelated to anything I said, at that). After this he stopped responding to me, everything he said was "I love you". I told him he didnt love me, he attacked me rather than feel any sort of repentence or offer any sort of apology.
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red13n
11/04/19 7:03:39 PM
#2:


I actually asked him for an apology and he continued to refuse and back into the "I love you" while literally not blinking and trying to, I kid you not, get in a staring contest with.
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Bane_Of_Despair
11/04/19 7:05:30 PM
#3:


red13n posted...
lol the Catholic Church is awful.


yep
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Bossman_Coolguy
11/04/19 7:05:58 PM
#4:


yep
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SaveEstelle
11/04/19 7:07:09 PM
#5:


That sucks man. My condolences to your grandfather and to the rest of your family as well. What a complete joke that priest was. Not cool at all.

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red13n
11/04/19 7:08:33 PM
#6:


The staring contest was just weird btw. I told him if he had nothing to say and would not apologize, his ride was waiting for him and he was free to leave(My mom was taking him back to the church while I watched my grandpa). He just continued to stare at me blankly occasionally responding with more sarcastic "I love you" to my assertion that it was time for him to leave.

He just stared, unblinking. It was weird as fuck but, as a gamer that I've been told involuntarily goes several minutes without blinking(My friends way back in high school pointed this out to me when one of them watched me eat people at Halo), I did not blink first.

I don't know what sort of dominance he was trying to show, but he lost and then left.
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SaveEstelle
11/04/19 7:10:48 PM
#7:


Sounds like the man has more personal problems that need serious addressing before he goes "helping" people in any way, shape, or form.

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red13n
11/04/19 7:13:28 PM
#8:


That said, since he was an asshole I did leave him with one comment as he was leaving in the car, because I did catch a snippet of the convo he had with my grandpa. He said the reason the church has new priests is they rotate every 4 years or so to fill the spanish speaking void in our area.

This is a lie as we already had bilingual priests(And they were replaced with priests that..spoke exactly the same language). So I told him everyone knows the real reasons the priests now get rotated out, its easier to hide and bury their sex scandals.

We actually had the same priests here since I was born til I was about 12-14, then an almost constant rotation as the church tried to bury more and more scandals.
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FFDragon
11/04/19 7:15:51 PM
#9:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLH0E0LZcjk
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ShatteredElysium
11/04/19 7:18:26 PM
#10:


Sorry you had to go through that, I too recently have had to deal with some absolute BS from the Catholic church (which is doubly bad as I'm not religious)

I was with my ex-wife for 10 years and married for 7. We separated and divorced because essentially we grew apart, we were still friends but just didn't love each other anymore. She even admitted I was far nicer than I had to be in the divorce (I just signed over the house to her and didn't ask for any money).

Anyway fast forward a few years and we have both moved on to different relationships, we are still friends and she recently got engaged. Now because her fiance is Catholic apparently our divorce isn't enough, he needs a full on annulment in order to stay in the good graces of his church. Personally I think this is ridiculous because it absolutely was a genuine marriage and all of the questions on the annulment forms basically require you to say it wasn't at any point a real marriage.

This is actually a double dick move by the Catholic church to me because I emigrated to the US (for my ex-wife who no longer wanted to live in England) on a marriage green card. The marriage absolutely wasn't for visa purposes (we got married in England and then moved to the US a few years later) but if I get an annulment I don't even know how I begin to explain that on my green card renewal. Being divorced when I renew it is fine as I've been here for so long and the marriage was genuine. However having it annulled would basically be an insta-flag for deportation because it would make it look like I lied to the government on the initial application and only got married for visa purposes.

So basically because of the Catholic churches backwards ass traditions that haven't updated with the times, I may potentially face deportation if I agree to what my ex-wife wants and if I don't agree I'll come across as a dick (she understands but I'm not sure he will).

So yeah, I 100% understand when you say the Catholic church is awful. They truly, truly are.
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SaveEstelle
11/04/19 7:21:36 PM
#11:


ShatteredElysium posted...
Sorry you had to go through that, I too recently have had to deal with some absolute BS from the Catholic church (which is doubly bad as I'm not religious)

I was with my ex-wife for 10 years and married for 7. We separated and divorced because essentially we grew apart, we were still friends but just didn't love each other anymore. She even admitted I was far nicer than I had to be in the divorce (I just signed over the house to her and didn't ask for any money).

Anyway fast forward a few years and we have both moved on to different relationships, we are still friends and she recently got engaged. Now because her fiance is Catholic apparently our divorce isn't enough, he needs a full on annulment in order to stay in the good graces of his church. Personally I think this is ridiculous because it absolutely was a genuine marriage and all of the questions on the annulment forms basically require you to say it wasn't at any point a real marriage.

This is actually a double dick move by the Catholic church to me because I emigrated to the US (for my ex-wife who no longer wanted to live in England) on a marriage green card. The marriage absolutely wasn't for visa purposes (we got married in England and then moved to the US a few years later) but if I get an annulment I don't even know how I begin to explain that on my green card renewal. Being divorced when I renew it is fine as I've been here for so long and the marriage was genuine. However having it annulled would basically be an insta-flag for deportation because it would make it look like I lied to the government on the initial application and only got married for visa purposes.

So basically because of the Catholic churches backwards ass traditions that haven't updated with the times, I may potentially face deportation if I agree to what my ex-wife wants and if I don't agree I'll come across as a dick (she understands but I'm not sure he will).

So yeah, I 100% understand when you say the Catholic church is awful. They truly, truly are.


You have a good character to you for talking about something so screwed-up in such a relatively calm fashion. Don't let that good character lead you into serious trouble for that shmuck's sake. If he can't understand that you do not wish to be deported and have your life turned upside-down all over again then that's on him.

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bryans7
11/04/19 7:22:14 PM
#12:


You should take that shit to your local news.
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redrocket
11/04/19 7:27:51 PM
#13:


ShatteredElysium posted...
Sorry you had to go through that, I too recently have had to deal with some absolute BS from the Catholic church (which is doubly bad as I'm not religious)

I was with my ex-wife for 10 years and married for 7. We separated and divorced because essentially we grew apart, we were still friends but just didn't love each other anymore. She even admitted I was far nicer than I had to be in the divorce (I just signed over the house to her and didn't ask for any money).

Anyway fast forward a few years and we have both moved on to different relationships, we are still friends and she recently got engaged. Now because her fiance is Catholic apparently our divorce isn't enough, he needs a full on annulment in order to stay in the good graces of his church. Personally I think this is ridiculous because it absolutely was a genuine marriage and all of the questions on the annulment forms basically require you to say it wasn't at any point a real marriage.

This is actually a double dick move by the Catholic church to me because I emigrated to the US (for my ex-wife who no longer wanted to live in England) on a marriage green card. The marriage absolutely wasn't for visa purposes (we got married in England and then moved to the US a few years later) but if I get an annulment I don't even know how I begin to explain that on my green card renewal. Being divorced when I renew it is fine as I've been here for so long and the marriage was genuine. However having it annulled would basically be an insta-flag for deportation because it would make it look like I lied to the government on the initial application and only got married for visa purposes.

So basically because of the Catholic churches backwards ass traditions that haven't updated with the times, I may potentially face deportation if I agree to what my ex-wife wants and if I don't agree I'll come across as a dick (she understands but I'm not sure he will).

So yeah, I 100% understand when you say the Catholic church is awful. They truly, truly are.


Even setting aside the immigration issues, its horrible enough that they would try to manipulate you into lying about a huge part of your life like that.

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PrinceKaro
11/04/19 7:44:29 PM
#14:


How is a 5 minute drive outside of his fucking parish?

I know he can't stand taking a break from groping the altar boys to, y'know, do his job, but the least he could do is be polite to a dying old man and pretend to give a shit.
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Jakyl25
11/04/19 7:52:37 PM
#15:


What did your grandpa say about the man after he left?
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Paratroopa1
11/04/19 8:03:15 PM
#16:


lol the Catholic Church is awful.

correct
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Reg
11/04/19 8:07:17 PM
#17:


red13n posted...
lol the Catholic Church is awful.

Yes.

ShatteredElysium posted...
I may potentially face deportation if I agree to what my ex-wife wants and if I don't agree I'll come across as a dick (she understands but I'm not sure he will).

If she really understands, kindly tell him to fuck off. If she tries to push you to do this even after you do so, less kindly tell him to fuck off because I think that relationship is probably less valuable to you than having to upend your life again considering what she's trying to do to you.
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red13n
11/04/19 9:23:25 PM
#18:


Oh and if you want another hilarious addition to the story. My grandpa most certainly has a giant stack of letters from this church asking for donations.
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Crescent-Moon
11/04/19 9:28:23 PM
#19:


Nothing I just read surprised me to read.

Money would solve everything, of course~
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Peace___Frog
11/04/19 9:29:23 PM
#20:


Reg posted...
ShatteredElysium posted...
I may potentially face deportation if I agree to what my ex-wife wants and if I don't agree I'll come across as a dick (she understands but I'm not sure he will).

If she really understands, kindly tell him to fuck off. If she tries to push you to do this even after you do so, less kindly tell him to fuck off because I think that relationship is probably less valuable to you than having to upend your life again considering what she's trying to do to you.

I agree with Reg. You don't owe her or her fiance anything at this point. Yeah you have a friendship, but at no point should the end of a friendship risk you being deported holy shit
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PrinceKaro
11/04/19 9:29:42 PM
#21:


red13n posted...
Oh and if you want another hilarious addition to the story. My grandpa most certainly has a giant stack of letters from this church asking for donations.


you should have taken all those letters and shoved them in the priest's goddamn face
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Anagram
11/04/19 9:34:10 PM
#22:


Maybe theres like a place you can complain to?
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#23
Post #23 was unavailable or deleted.
KingButz
11/04/19 11:19:23 PM
#24:


All the child abuse is one thing but being rude to an old man, well that crosses the line!
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redrocket
11/05/19 6:13:22 AM
#25:


KingButz posted...
All the child abuse is one thing but being rude to an old man, well that crosses the line!


The point of this topic is for Board Eighters to talk about how the church has screwed with them personally or someone they are close to. Are you upset that no one here was sexually abused by the church? Are we not allowed to share our stories about anything the church did to us that was less than literal rape?

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KingButz
11/05/19 2:14:57 PM
#27:


Don't let me tell you what to do

Chill out
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Buffy_Summers
11/05/19 4:32:44 PM
#28:


The church kinda sucks.

When my mom died, they didn't want to do her funeral. I remember hearing a priest say she was probably in hell. (I was 10 at the time, and he definitely knew I was in earshot). And my grandparents wonder why I don't wanna go to church.

If your grandpa was still donating money, I bet the priest's tone would've been a lot different.
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