Current Events > I'm in a bad place CE.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Can't vent to my family/girlfriend because that would just stress them out and make things worse.

You all are all I got

Stay safe.
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Whats the situation?
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Deadpool_18 posted...

Whats the situation?

Still unemployed

I'm getting interviews but it's hard to stay positive rejection after rejection

Just feel like a massive burden on everyone around me

Its like that for everyone. Ive been there myself. Consider branching out and moving if need be.
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clearaflagrantj posted...

Deadpool_18 posted...

Whats the situation?

Still unemployed

I'm getting interviews but it's hard to stay positive rejection after rejection

Just feel like a massive burden on everyone around me

Oh youre gonna feel that way until youre hired, dude. Been there. Just know that its not permanent and that youre only temporarily taking the heat that your family will undoubtedly give to someone else once your shit is back in order.
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I have a suggestion, and consider it before trashing it. Maybe between interviews, do a bit of volunteer work. It will do two things, first off, it sounds really good to a potential employer that you are spending time volunteering, going out and doing work while you are unemployed. It shows a sense of maturity and motivation to just go out and work, and help the community.

Secondly, it will be good for your mind, you are doing a positive thing, and you are staying busy and distracted with an activity, getting a bit of exercise, and it will help your overall spirit.

Try your local library, or Goodwill, or even a retirement home. Sometimes they just enjoy having someone there to talk to, you virtually just go for a few hours, play cards, and interact with seniors. You can hear some fascinating things while doing so also.

Some positivity can go a long way.
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^ your post made me feel better
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Thank you all for your posts they help

MabusIncarnate posted...

I have a suggestion, and consider it before trashing it. Maybe between interviews, do a bit of volunteer work. It will do two things, first off, it sounds really good to a potential employer that you are spending time volunteering, going out and doing work while you are unemployed. It shows a sense of maturity and motivation to just go out and work, and help the community.

I want to but I feel like I'll just bring my depressing negative energy with me and bum everyone out.

Feels like I have a disease

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Feeling like a burden on people itself makes you more of a burden on people sometimes. If you know you're doing your best then feeling like a burden just puts you in a mood that makes it harder to be optimistic for people you love. So if you can, let yourself know that your best is good enough and this is just a slump in a much grander picture and will hardly matter when you're looking back. Live in the moment for your girlfriend so you guys can enjoy each other.

Also, a lot of people are usually wrong when they assume their SO isn't strong enough to take on the truth. It usually does the damage that you're trying to avoid by making you seem distant. You being distant is gonna stress her out more than you being honest. Nobody likes hearing "it's nothing" when it's obviously something.
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I agree with the volunteering rec. I was in a similar place and it helped me. It feels good to do good selflessly, and that attracts good things. Hang in, TC

How many jobs are you applying for each day?

Hey I know how it goes, Esp in nash! I forget what your background is in, but if you need something temporary for the in between, I have suggestions
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This ain't healthy dude, reach out to your loved ones.
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clearaflagrantj posted...

Thank you all for your posts they help

MabusIncarnate posted...

I have a suggestion, and consider it before trashing it. Maybe between interviews, do a bit of volunteer work. It will do two things, first off, it sounds really good to a potential employer that you are spending time volunteering, going out and doing work while you are unemployed. It shows a sense of maturity and motivation to just go out and work, and help the community.

I want to but I feel like I'll just bring my depressing negative energy with me and bum everyone out.

Feels like I have a disease

It wouldn't hurt to try, and it doesn't necessarily have to be social. I did some work for a library in the late 90's and most of the time I was pushing around a cart restocking books back onto shelves, I was alone most of the day unless random people asked me where something was.

I feel like the only way you can make a bit of progress is do a few different things, get out of your comfort zone a bit. It's going to help, even if just a little. I've been somewhat where you are at, so I understand to an extent.

If anything, I do promise it will help your chances of finding employment. The last thing an interviewer wants to hear when they ask you (and they will) what you have been doing with your time while you aren't working is "You know, just applying and interviewing, trying to find work" and not mention anything outside of seeking employment.
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Keep at it. You'll get one. I've been there before and it blows.
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Conflict posted...

You are seeing therapy, right

or are you reluctant to right now since you don't have income

No income, no health insurance

Not going to therapy when I need it the most

I might have my CE lore mixed up but werent you incredibly depressed in your job that you got let go from? If so, look at this more as a blessing and try for a career change. A lot of the time it isnt so much you cant find a job, its that you are trying to find the same job that you hated doing before.
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youre in engineering right? or looking for jobs in that industry?

i remember you being from a STEM background
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I honestly can't relate. The only time I've been fired was when I was working three jobs, so it sucked but it wasn't the end of the world. It sounds like you have a financial and social safety net, though, so I would say you should probably rely on them and stop shaming yourself over losing a job you hated. From a pragmatic standpoint it'll be better for your job search, too, you don't want desperation to make you accept some lowball offer
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Draw hentai (see sig) like me, you'll feel a lot better about yourself, op
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MabusIncarnate posted...

I have a suggestion, and consider it before trashing it. Maybe between interviews, do a bit of volunteer work. It will do two things, first off, it sounds really good to a potential employer that you are spending time volunteering, going out and doing work while you are unemployed. It shows a sense of maturity and motivation to just go out and work, and help the community.

Secondly, it will be good for your mind, you are doing a positive thing, and you are staying busy and distracted with an activity, getting a bit of exercise, and it will help your overall spirit.

Try your local library, or Goodwill, or even a retirement home. Sometimes they just enjoy having someone there to talk to, you virtually just go for a few hours, play cards, and interact with seniors. You can hear some fascinating things while doing so also.

Some positivity can go a long way.

this is wonderful advice.

keep your head up TC. you'll figure it out.
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Jiggy101011 posted...

I might have my CE lore mixed up but werent you incredibly depressed in your job that you got let go from? If so, look at this more as a blessing and try for a career change. A lot of the time it isnt so much you cant find a job, its that you are trying to find the same job that you hated doing before.

Yeah I was extremely depressed at my last role, and lately I've been dealing with the fear that I will eventually find a new job but fall into that same pit of despair and repeat this entire depression -> get fired cycle all over again.

Parappa09 posted...

youre in engineering right? or looking for jobs in that industry?

i remember you being from a STEM background

Yup.

You forgot the colon.

I'm in a bad place: CE

There.
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DevsBro posted...

You forgot the colon.

I'm in a bad place: CE

There.

Boom roasted

clearaflagrantj posted...

Yup.

you're in a better place than most of us man, don't sweat it

i did a degree in media and communications and i regret it so much. you'll probably earn more than me and have a more stable career

don't let a small blip get you too down, it'll be your time soon dw
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Sorry, Clear. I really think you should talk to your girlfriend about it. I understand not wanting to come across like a whiney burden, however from what I recall you've been together for a while now, and she should be there for you if you really need it.

If you want to avoid sounding whiney, I recommend telling her how you feel, and come up with a couple of suggestions of solutions for yourself. If these are solutions that you've been trying and they haven't been successful, let her know. Also ask her for her thoughts. This will frame you and your discussion as an attempt to solve a problem rather than just vomit your negativity.

I hope all goes well, and remember - you aren't your career. I've had a really hard time keeping that in perspective myself over the years, and while we're in different places, I think it might still help you.
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My husband was unemployed last year for 6 months. We survived. Things will be ok TC. At least you have interviews lined up.

Wish I could give you some good advice man, this whole saga has been horrible to see. I can't even keep my own head afloat though. Just know that I'm hoping the best for you rn =(
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Hang in there clear, you're a good dude & you'll find something and soon this will be a distant period you'll recollect to give other ppl advice
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Romulox28 posted...

Hang in there clear, you're a good dude & you'll find something and soon this will be a distant period you'll recollect to give other ppl advice

gb youre just the best
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TC how are you addressing your unemployment situation in interviews? If you come off as vengeful or spiteful it'll be hard to land another job.
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Parappa09 posted...

clearaflagrantj posted...

Yup.

you're in a better place than most of us man, don't sweat it

i did a degree in media and communications and i regret it so much. you'll probably earn more than me and have a more stable career

don't let a small blip get you too down, it'll be your time soon dw

What type of career are you working towards? I feel like that degree is more versatile at least, it allows you to chase after your passions.

Engineering is just like, "this paper says I'm good with numbers, give me math-based grunt work."

Drpooplol posted...

Sorry, Clear. I really think you should talk to your girlfriend about it. I understand not wanting to come across like a whiney burden, however from what I recall you've been together for a while now, and she should be there for you if you really need it.

If you want to avoid sounding whiney, I recommend telling her how you feel, and come up with a couple of suggestions of solutions for yourself. If these are solutions that you've been trying and they haven't been successful, let her know. Also ask her for her thoughts. This will frame you and your discussion as an attempt to solve a problem rather than just vomit your negativity.

I hope all goes well, and remember - you aren't your career. I've had a really hard time keeping that in perspective myself over the years, and while we're in different places, I think it might still help you.

I appreciate all your advice. For what it's worth I'm trying my hardest to keep a positive attitude and better myself, but it's like I have some disease underneath the surface that is always there, and always on our minds.

My girlfriend and I were about to move into the next step of our relationship, potentially buying a house and getting married, then this shit comes out of nowhere and disrupts us, and I know that makes both of us worried. For what it's worth maybe it's a good thing, it's like a stress test before we commit to each other, to see if we can handle challenges like this

REMercsChamp posted...

TC how are you addressing your unemployment situation in interviews? If you come off as vengeful or spiteful it'll be hard to land another job.

I pretty much say I didn't see eye to eye with management which is unfortunate because I try to be a collaborative worker, so I regret the situation but I treat it as an opportunity for me to learn and grow.

I've given that same (true) answer to several different interviewers and their responses mostly range from their understanding to their agreement, though I'm sure at least a few see it as a major red flag regardless of how well I deliver the answer.

Well first of all you should really look into getting gap health insurance

And then seriously look into getting on anti depressants. They worked great for me
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TheGoldenEel posted...

Well first of all you should really look into getting gap health insurance

And then seriously look into getting on anti depressants. They worked great for me

Yeah I'm beginning to accept that I literally just view the world through a lens, I only see negative aspects of most things and it just creates this feedback loop

I think the worst part is is that I look back fondly on the past but I know I was just as unhappy as I was then as I am now, but my brain is fucking with me and telling me things like "no, you were happy back then, you caused this unhappiness now."

It's brutal.

MabusIncarnate posted...

I feel like the only way you can make a bit of progress is do a few different things, get out of your comfort zone a bit. It's going to help, even if just a little.

This is great advice for anyone going through a difficult period in their life.

clearaflagrantj posted...

TheGoldenEel posted...

Well first of all you should really look into getting gap health insurance

And then seriously look into getting on anti depressants. They worked great for me

Yeah I'm beginning to accept that I literally just view the world through a lens, I only see negative aspects of most things and it just creates this feedback loop

I think the worst part is is that I look back fondly on the past but I know I was just as unhappy as I was then as I am now, but my brain is fucking with me and telling me things like "no, you were happy back then, you caused this unhappiness now."

It's brutal.

Yeah you've been unhappy for years dude.
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what is your work field, tc?
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This is 100% a test from the universe. You can get through this, and when you're employed again and stable, there's no shame in seeking a bit of help through therapy.

Also cheer up man, as you said your brain is gonna trick you into thinking you were happy during this time so you might as well take some time out to be happy. Smoke some pot, read a good book, go on a hike. It's not all about this job search, and that's not gonna solve all your problems.
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clearaflagrantj posted...

What type of career are you working towards? I feel like that degree is more versatile at least, it allows you to chase after your passions.

Engineering is just like, "this paper says I'm good with numbers, give me math-based grunt work."

i'm not sure, but i enjoy working in content and trying to work out what i can do with it. weirdly a few months ago i had a bit of a life crisis. i ended up writing an article about my self esteem and how i'm struggling with mental health in my late twenties. i kinda relate to a lot of what you post, but i don't see you in a bad position at all

i mean engineers are well paid, respectable job, in constant demand, low risk of automation and it's a great career to be involved in. if you're having these problems then it's really interesting because
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clearaflagrantj posted...

TheGoldenEel posted...

Well first of all you should really look into getting gap health insurance

And then seriously look into getting on anti depressants. They worked great for me

Yeah I'm beginning to accept that I literally just view the world through a lens, I only see negative aspects of most things and it just creates this feedback loop

I think the worst part is is that I look back fondly on the past but I know I was just as unhappy as I was then as I am now, but my brain is fucking with me and telling me things like "no, you were happy back then, you caused this unhappiness now."

It's brutal.

I know that feeling, and I started taking a small dose of Prozac and its helped a lot. Ive had no side effects and it just helps to think clearly about those negative thoughts and break that cycle

Theyre not like magic happy pills, they just give you the ability to cut through those bullshit thoughts that its all your fault

Talk to a doctor
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you should see a psychologist it will help
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Do not tell interviewers that you didnt see eye to eye with previous management. It doesnt matter what spin you put on it, its not a good look. A better answer is that you were there several years and felt like your growth was limited and it was time to move on.

Cleo_II posted...

Do not tell interviewers that you didnt see eye to eye with previous management. It doesnt matter what spin you put on it, its not a good look. A better answer is that you were there several years and felt like your growth was limited and it was time to move on.

He got fired though
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we'll pin the company on something, maybe they was racist or discriminating to his problems.
it's too bad the courts have the companies back, no more lawsuits.
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Cleo_II posted...

Do not tell interviewers that you didnt see eye to eye with previous management. It doesnt matter what spin you put on it, its not a good look. A better answer is that you were there several years and felt like your growth was limited and it was time to move on.

This. My first instinct when reading that is you have trouble working in a team environment or performing tasks given to you by others.

I always say career advancement and leave it at that.
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kingdrake2 posted...

we'll pin the company on something, maybe they was racist or discriminating to his problems.
it's too bad the courts have the companies back, no more lawsuits.

He said he got fired for poor performance, after years of coming on here and bragging that he did maybe an hour of work a day and spun around in a chair with an attitude to go along with it for the rest of the day
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