Poll of the Day > WWYD: you and your friend are romantically interested in the same girl

(+) Yeah! (+)

What's the best thing to do in this situation were both you and a friend are gunning for the same wifey? This may or may not be related to me.

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It must be settled with fisticuffs.
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A fight to the death!
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I doubt youre the more attractive one so just let your friend have her.
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Cacciato posted...

I doubt youre the more attractive one so just let your friend have her.

Not necessarily true tho lmao
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First, ask yourself - just how much do I care about this friend? This is the sort of thing that can easily destroy friendships even if you're talking about people who've been friends for decades, so you might want to think about whether you care more about your friendship than you do any potential relationship with a girl - and if the friendship DOES mean a lot to you, you'd almost be better off both walking away from that potentially ugly situation.

If neither of you are willing to go that route either because your friendship is casual at best or because the girl in question is 10/10 dream girl material, sit down with your friend and try and openly establish both of your motives. Are one of you just looking for a quick hookup while the other is thinking white picket fences, kids, and houses in the suburbs? If so, the one looking for a hot screw should probably step aside for the one with actual romantic impulses. If you're both just looking to fuck her, you could probably get away with competing for her attention, as long as you both accept the idea that the loser has to graciously accept the loss, and not bitterly stew over it and poison the friendship.

(Of course, this is the modern world and sexuality is more open than it used to be, so you might also be able to work together to talk her into some sort of odd polyamorous threeway relationship - that way everybody wins!)

If you're both madly romantically in love with her, odds are your friendship is absolutely fucked. You'll likely try to sabotage each other to get together with her, and even if you don't, if one of you DOES manage to establish a relationship with her, the other is probably going to brood and stew over it and hate the other or actively keep trying to sabotage the relationship in hopes of catching her on the rebound). And even the friend who "wins" is likely to be uncomfortable with the fact that they know their friend is probably thinking about having sex with their date/girlfriend/wife/etc more often than not, killing any real trust or friendship that was there.

Just remember, the idea of "soulmates" or "one person out there for everyone" is bullshit. Don't assume you've met the perfect woman and if you screw it up you'll be alone forever. Relationships are about compromise and compatibility, so there are always other people out there who can be perfect for you if you're willing to look and meet them halfway. And because of that, you should think very long and very hard if you're willing to sacrifice a deep friendship that may have lasted for years (or decades) and which is your closest emotional connection just to hook up with a woman who might decide to ditch you six months down the line and leave you without a friend OR a significant other.

On the other hand, maybe your friend is an asshole and you don't mind cutting them loose. Only you can make that decision.


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Say "fuck him!" and win her affection. Who cares?
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Enter into a wager with him wherein the first of you to bed her wins one Canadian dollar >_>

Granted, my hypothetical best friend might be a woman which would make this hypothetical question kinda moot (unless the girl swung both ways).
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ParanoidObsessive posted...

First, ask yourself - just how much do I care about this friend? This is the sort of thing that can easily destroy friendships even if you're talking about people who've been friends for decades, so you might want to think about whether you care more about your friendship than you do any potential relationship with a girl - and if the friendship DOES mean a lot to you, you'd almost be better off both walking away from that potentially ugly situation.

OK In my case I'm not really friends with this guy. I'm like close friends with his twin brother though (that's how I found out :P) but you know I see him fairly often. I just don't want it to be awkward

TheCyborgNinja posted...

Say "fuck him!" and win her affection. Who cares?

I'm lowkey trying. I'm just really getting mixed signals and I don't understand anymore. We coincidentally got each other presents during our summer vacations, does that mean I'm in the running? Idk
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Is she even interested in both of you?

Try to date her, and if she chooses the friend instead of you, move on.
And expect the same from your friend if she chooses to date you.
Or maybe she doesn't want either of you.

That's about it, really...

Forget about this other girl, and go out with my friend ^_^
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