Board 8 > Gauntlet Crew Ranks Animated TV Show Movies

(+) Yeah! (+)

v_charon posted...

That said, maybe it's healthy to have a list of garbage to rank sometimes.

I think you can do it, like, once. After that, you've experienced bad. You have a baseline. Let's try not to reduplicate the efforts. Let's attempt to excel at making lists better, maybe?
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honestly, most of these clocked in at under 80 minutes. It wasn't that bad to watch through them.
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28. Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer

Karo: 15
Stifled: 18
Scarlet: 23
Red: 23
Inviso: 27
Snake: 28
Genny: 28
Johnbobb: 29
Charon: 29
JONA: 29

Total Score: 249

Karo: Rainbow Brite is like a cute little magical girl who uses her powers to save the world from those who want to drain all color from existence, such as Tim Burton.
In this movie, there's this bratty chick who wants the biggest gem in the universe, which is a planet-sized hunk of crystal. Now this causes a crisis on earth because this crystalline planet is the source of all light and warmth in the world, rather than the Sun as all those crazy scientists would like you to believe.
Rainbow has to of course stop this from happening, and is joined by Krys, a little boy who looks like a bad prototype of Megaman. His main role in the movie is make constant misogynistic comments towards Rainbow Brite about much girls suck and are useless, despite the fact that she just journeyed halfway across the cosmos to help his little punk ass. The addition of this asshole and his robot horse was probably to make the movie more appealing to boys, but lets be honest, theres not a whole lot of that demographic thats gonna go within 20 feet of a film about a rainbow fairy and her magic pony. This kind of sexism is nothing new in hollywood, and sadly is not even the worst example of it on this list.
About halfway through the writers just flat out run out of ideas and everyone just runs around pointlessly while being chased by various things until the final battle with the villain.
It is something that just doesnt really do anything to move beyond the very extended TV episode nature of a lot of these movies.

Stifled: Not to be prejudiced against bright, pretty, and colorful movies, but I havent been a big fan of those so far. ButI have to give props to Rainbow Brite. I was pretty engaged through the whole thing. The action scenes were cool. Sexist Mega Man ended up being a good sidekick for her. Snuffy Jr. and Shrimpy Dick Dastardly were decent comic relief as well. The horses were really cool. The villain being a spoiled and entitled brat with no motivations outside of I want it! was surprisingly compelling. Whether it was the intent or not, it plays a solid commentary on the power of greed. The one thing I felt was dumb and unnecessary, however, was the regular human boy with the key. He played zero factor into the plot. Why did we waste screen time on him? Why did we point out how he is the only human that can see Rainbow if he was just going to do nothing important? I assume he was important in the show, but I didnt watch the show. For anyone who didnt watch the show, this was a big miss. But beyond that misstep, I would actually watch this again!
Also, holy crap they actually killed the villain. Hardcore. I love it!

Traviss Opinion: Travis would watch it again too! He loved it and was glued to the screen. He liked the horses, especially Rainbows. I also heard him say Rainbow Brite! a few times when she came on screen. I think we have a fan.

Scarlet: You have to wonder why Karo thought a list of trashy first draft scripts written with the care of a college freshman who forgot a term period until the morning of the due date was worthy of the time of Gauntlet Crew. Especially when you find yourself on the receiving end of garish, asinine visuals featuring saccharinely oversweet bullshit being peddled for the sole purpose of merchandise. This is the sort of crap that has led to generations of society setting the bar for discourse so low that even an ant couldnt squeeze its way under it. A plot pandering to the 7-year-old girl, it has a lot of horsepower, but it lacks much in the way of brainpower.
Rating: 14/100
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Red: First of all, Rainbow Brite is incompitent. I'm not sure why they even need her in the first place. The big robot horse comes in asking for her help but honestly, at every single opportunity it is robo-horse saving the day. There is some side-villain that I guess is from whatever show this movie was based on and they serve absolutely no purpose in this movie. I think Rainbow Brite is supposed to be able to do things with her horse, and at times they run on rainbows or whatever, but for whatever reason they have to seem helpless at every opportunity. It makes very little sense.

Inviso: This movie is fucking terrible, yet even after having only watched four movies thus far, its NOT the worst thing Ive seen. Jesus fucking CHRIST this list. Lets discuss the absolute worst parts first: one, if youve never seen Rainbow Brite the TV show? Yeah, this makes NO fucking sense. Its a bunch of random, magical bullshit happening for completely unexplained reasons. Two, fuck this animation. You have a cast of characters that look like deformed mongoloids. Three, FUCK that little helmet-wearing douchebag turning the back half of the movie into a constant stream of casual misogyny. Really, the ONLY redeeming factor to this movie is that, at the very least, the general plot makes SOME sense. Evil villain is trying to erase all light from the universe, Rainbow Brite is trying to stop her. Sadly, thats more than I can say about at least one other film on this list.

Snake: Next-up on the sliding scale of horribleness is this piece of vomit that spawned from the dark recesses of every little girls diary. Cheap animation, even cheaper voice acting, with characters about as complex as a crumpled up piece of paper. I will admit the arrogant horse character was hilarious though.

Genny: I swear 33% of this movie's dialogue consists of Rainbow screaming "OH NO!", or "STARLITE!", 20% is Krys mocking Rainbow for being a girl or him saying he can do something better or some other generic sexism, 30% is Murky and Lurky padding for time, and another 17% is unintelligible gibberish from that robotic steed. That adds up to a 100% painful experience that I don't wish to relive any time soon. And might I add that the one character that could have potentially helped out significantly with her powers, Stormy, and her horse Skydancer stayed behind for some stupid throwaway reason? Plot convenience in a paper-thin plot. Enough said.

Johnbobb: Sorry, too busy projectile vomiting to write anymore.

Charon: This film declined significantly from the start to the end. The only good thing I can say about this is that it'd have been better if it starred Stormy instead. These two pathetic side villains were the worst. The main villain is pretty bad and her dialogue is so laughably bad it's hard to believe anyone even bothered to read this script. "Oh no, Starlite!", I don't think they did at all. The shows that received movies back in the 80's, man.

JONA: On-X was kinda cool, I guess.
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PrinceKaro posted...

Red: First of all, Rainbow Brite is incompitent.

Frame it.
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Outlier:

Karo: 28
Genny: 19
Stifled: 18
Red: 15
Scarlet: 8
Inviso: 6
Johnbobb: 4
JONA: 4
Charon: 3
Snake: 2

Hint for #27: characters sing in this movie.
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PrinceKaro posted...

Karo: Rainbow Brite is like a cute little magical girl who uses her powers to save the world from those who want to drain all color from existence, such as Tim Burton.

Cute, but your argument is invalid. See: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and/or Alice in Wonderland. I guess the joke would've landed with a "circa 1985-2000" after Tim Burton's name.

And YES, I got a guess right! Let's see if I can keep the streak going despite such a general hint it applies to 90% of this list. Ah yes, clearly it's South Park...

Actual guess for #27:

Care Bears II: A New Generation

Runner up guess would be Hey There, It's Yogi Bear, but I feel like Stifled has salvaged it from the bottom 5.
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I think Karos intent with this list was to simultaneously share a bit of his childhood with us and troll us with a few truly bad movies. Id say it was a success.

Also...poor Rainbow =( I actually liked that one lol
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StifledSilence posted...

I think Karos intent with this list was to simultaneously share a bit of his childhood with us and troll us with a few truly bad movies. Id say it was a success.

Its weird to think some of you are likely too young to have ever watched some of these movies as a child.

Also seriously, the damn robo horse did everything. If they were trying to sell us on rainbow brite herself they did a really terrible job.

27. The Care Bears Movie

Karo: 6
Red: 15
Snake: 25
JONA: 25
Johnbobb: 26
Charon: 26
Genny: 26
Stifled: 27
Scarlet: 27
Inviso: 28

Total Score: 231

Karo: The Care Bears are a group of pastel colored teddy bears who are like the guardian angels of the children of earth, and bring the world love, caring, and syrupy greeting card slogans.
So the central human character is a young boy who is a mistreated assistant to a stage magician. Because his boss for some reason has the Necronomicon in his wagon of magic props, the boy becomes a thrall to an evil demon.
The Care Bears of course have to go save the day, albeit in a very roundabout way that drags out the movie and gives them a chance to meet their cousins, who look just like them except they are all different kinds of animals (that must have been a very interesting romantic evening).
It a cute and inoffensive movie that has a certain sappy charm to it, and though there is not really a whole lot to the plot honestly I could think of a lot worse things we could be feeding into our childrens' brains than the importance of forgiveness and caring about the feelings of others.

Red: First of all, the Care Bear cousins are vastly superior to the regular Care Bears. Dumb generic 80s kid decides listening to a clearly evil spirit is in his best interest and they decide to take over the world. The Care Bears partner with even more generic 80s kids to save the world. Honestly, the movie gets better as the cast gets larger(Mainly, cause the cousins have more personality than the generic friend bears).

Snake: Some of the worst, god-awful Ive ever had the displeasure of listening to in a full-length movie. As with most movies around this time period, its made to sell toys with leads to awkward storytelling methods. Has as much depth as a Hallmark greeting card. I did enjoy The Spirit, even if it was just laughter at the fact she was a floating head in a book.

JONA: The villain is what brings this movie up to a whopping ranking of 25. She's actually kinda menacing and threatening.

Johnbobb: The Care Bears movie wasnt where I expected to see a bunch of children beating the shit out of each other but there it is, and Im glad. A few years back I had the pleasure of watching Adventures in Lalaloopsy Land: The Search for Pillow. I cant even remember how I saw it; I think a friend put it on Netflix as a joke or something? We ended up watching through the entire thing and laughing our asses off because of how absolutely ridiculous it is. The Care Bears Movie doesnt QUITE make it that far, but damn if it doesnt try. Secret Bear says not to worry about falling, worry about the lion instead!

Charon: Boy, this one was hard to enjoy. Nicholas and the Spirit had some enjoyable, over-the-top villain moments. Beyond those two however, boy was this one not very good. The only bear I might have enjoyed at all had a reduced role and he sold out in the ending sequence; which by the way, glad to see that sing-to-close number way back in the 80s, ugh. The bears themselves are hard to like. Tenderheart is portrayed to be this leader but he's so inept and basically allows the spirit to get loose in the first place. Those animals... those animals! Shameless attempt at selling stuffed toys; so many useless bit characters there. Braveheart was so useless, it was almost sad to watch how pathetic he was. Oh, I just remembered my favorite character! The Star! The star on the boat when they were sailing on the river. The expression change thing was a lot of fun, I liked him. The entire movie should have been that star reacting to things.
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Charon: Boy, this one was hard to enjoy. Nicholas and the Spirit had some enjoyable, over-the-top villain moments. Beyond those two however, boy was this one not very good. The only bear I might have enjoyed at all had a reduced role and he sold out in the ending sequence; which by the way, glad to see that sing-to-close number way back in the 80s, ugh. The bears themselves are hard to like. Tenderheart is portrayed to be this leader but he's so inept and basically allows the spirit to get loose in the first place. Those animals... those animals! Shameless attempt at selling stuffed toys; so many useless bit characters there. Braveheart was so useless, it was almost sad to watch how pathetic he was. Oh, I just remembered my favorite character! The Star! The star on the boat when they were sailing on the river. The expression change thing was a lot of fun, I liked him. The entire movie should have been that star reacting to things.

Genny: Admittedly The Care Bears Movie wasn't as awful as I thought it would be. It was still pretty bad though. I'm not going to equate antiquity with pandering or objective lack of quality, but it really does feel like most of the movies on the older half of this list were made with no plot in mind and specifically to market new toys. In this case it's especially obvious in regards to the Care Bear Cousins who just show up and essentially steal the spotlight. The villain is at least decent in this one, but the real stand out character in this movie was the sentient star on the Care Bear ship's mast. I love the faces it makes, and I was legitimately upset when it only had one appearance in the sequel.

Stifled: So what really bugs me about this movie and, ultimately, its sequel, is that it is just mindless drivel. Care, love, and rainbows are tossed around like rag dolls to try and cram a be nice lesson down kids throats. But all this movie actually teaches kids is that care bears, care lions, care horses, care monkeys, care racoons, and whatever the fuck else are available at your local Toys R Us. The only saving grace of this movie is also its curse. The book lady is actually a pretty cool villain that feeds off of the negative emotions of the angry boy with no friends. But the issue is he is basically a terrorist that is completely forgiven and let go with just a stern talking to. And I have to say even the sternness of that talking to is debatable! This teaches kids that you can practically wipe out the world, but you are forgiven and get a free pass as long as you are sorry. That is NOT how the world works and that is a horrible message to the viewing audience. Terrorist boy should be in jail, not grow up to become Mickey Rooney and have a family.
What keeps this delightful masterpiece out of the bottom spot is that the villain is cool, the Carole King song is pretty, and that its actually a complete movie. I cant say any of that about the other bottom movietypethings.

Traviss Opinion: He actually really liked it lmao. Poor kid. All the brightly colored animals were right up his alley. So I guess props to the marketing department for nailing that demographic.

Scarlet: You have to wonder why Karo thought a list of solipsistic materialism thinly disguised as films making the outrageous claim that they have plots was worthy of the time of Gauntlet Crew. Especially when you find yourself subject to an unrepentantly shameless toyline cash grab in the case of the visual assault that is Care Bears. Hiding the characters behind vague generalities that are clearly monochromatic at best, this so-called film peddles to simpletons with one-dimensional annoyances and worthless children with utterly irrational attitudes trapped in maybe the least interesting orphanage since Grelod the Kinds failed venture.
Rating: 8/100
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Inviso: This was fucking PAINFUL to get through. Not only was it unbearably saccharine and cutesy, but it didnt even have the decency to TRY and treat me (the viewer) like I had the slightest shred of intelligence. I feel fucking SORRY for kids who grew up with this crap in the eighties, because it is offensive how stupid animated films believe them to be. The plot is super disjointed and dumb, shifting between some orphans who go from sad to happy in a single musical numberto this loser magician who unleashes hell from a magic book. Oh, and along the way the care bears meet random animals that are not care bears, but have magical powers regardless. And everything is fixed by the power of friendship. Its SO stupid and I hate Karo for making me watch this.
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PrinceKaro posted...

Inviso: unbearably

I see what you did there.
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This is the incorrect order. Happy to see a few people appreciate the Spirit, but no one noticed the Star as much! Shame on you guys for letting Dark Fart's movie beat this one out.
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Outlier:

Karo: 49
Red: 27
Genny: 20
Stifled: 18
Scarlet: 8
Inviso: 7
JONA: 6
Johnbobb: 5
Charon: 4
Snake: 4

Hint for #26: one of only two movies left with last place rankings
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Disappearing from outlier altogether, like a boss.
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That's pretty impressive charon. I've never seen someone drop points like that.
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you didnt see anything
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Yikes Karo, YIKES.

Guess for #26

Care Bears II: A New Generation
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Care Bears II sure
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Ed, Edd n' Eddy's Big Picture Show was overlooked over half of this crap?

What about Dexters: Ego Trip or the Jimmy Neutron movie?

Even some of the Fairly Odd Parents specials like Channel Chasers was better than 95% of these entries.

It's 2018 and were watching goddamn Care Bears movies. Sigh.

believe it or not Jimmy Neutron: The Movie was not based on the show that came out after it
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Pokemon: The First Movie is my SPIRIT ANIMAL.

The Jimmy Neutron Movie had THEY'RE THE KIDS IN AMERICA.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCNhmbse3Sc" data-time="

Okay. I'll stop reading this topic. Bye guys. :)

I think my favorite part of The Care Bears Movie came right at the beginning, when Tenderheart (I think) appears to the two earth kids, one of whom is named Jason (haaaaa ha!), and tells them that they have to help and they're all like "Why?" and start walking away.

Char and I burst out laughing at that part. Of course after the Care Bear convinces the orphans that they're friends despite having literally just met them, they sell out and contribute. That's why Mast Star is the best character. It's the only consistently good one.
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26. Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation

Karo: 7
Johnbobb: 14
Inviso: 18
Red: 20
Snake: 26
Scarlet: 26
JONA: 27
Charon: 28
Stifled: 30
Genny: 30

Total Score: 226

Karo: This 'sequel' is actually a prequel that just flat out ignores the existence of the first movie. This time around, everyone starts out as baby animals that Satan is trying to kill for some reason that is not explained.
This attempt fails because God takes the form of a giant anthropomorphic star and pulls everyone up to heaven and gives them magical powers. Thus the Care Bears are born.
Undeterred, their demonic adversary goes down to earth and makes a contract with a little girl in order to entrap the bears. In this short period of time, our furry heroes manage to somehow grow from infants to adults so I guess Care-a-Lot is situated in a space-time anomaly or something.
This all leads up to a bizarre ending where the Care Bears uncharacteristically break the fourth wall, and Satan turns into a real boy because he cares hard enough. Man, someone was smoking something while writing this part.
The animation quality unfortunately was downgraded severely from the first movie (which was only passable to begin with), to the point where it looks like a direct-to-video sequel. But damn if the little songs are not just the cutest thing ever.

Johnbobb: 2 Care 2 Bears was just somehow even more dumbed down and really just uninteresting than the first... but then Satan appears (they call him Dark Heart but come on, we all know hes Satan), befriends a preteen girl, kills her, teams up with the Care Bears and other preteens and through the power of who knows what manages to bring the preteen girl back to life. And then fucking SATAN turns into a preteen child to live out his life at summer camp until, I dont know, I guess the other kids are picked up by their parents and Satan is forever trapped as a lone preteen child in the woods? I didnt like Care Bears 2: Care Harder until I tried to explain the plot of it to my roommate and ended up laughing so hard I cried and forgot how to breathe. It was the most fun I had with the list.

Red: We already had a movie about the care bear cousins but since its time to sell baby versions of them here they are again. It doesn't make sense but sure why not. Then we get to timeskip forward because a bunch of babies cant hold a plot together. Except this plot is going to lean heavily on super generic 80s kids. Kids also get to learn that even if someone dies, if you care a lot they might come back to life or some weird stuff like that.

Inviso: Yeah, this movie is never gonna be the CAMP CHAMP. That being said, even though its not the CAMP CHAMP, its somehow better than a lot of the trash that comes before it. So maybe it stands a chance at becoming the default CAMP CHAMP. But yeah, this CAMP CHAMP contender has a lot of the mindless idiocy from a lot of these early films on the list. The songs are awful and completely unbefitting of CAMP CHAMP. The continuity is weird, because I thought the Care Bear cousins were unknown entities in the first movie, yet this seems like a prequel somehow? Thats a plot whole that a real CAMP CHAMP wouldnt have in it. Ultimately though, despite the fact that the first half of the movie is basically a cut and paste of the first movies plot (again, minus the fact that the loser kid in the first film isnt CAMP CHAMP), it manages to salvage itself with a decent-enough plot. After the bratty CAMP CHAMP realizes on her own that what shes doing is wrong, she actually manages to convert the bad guy to goodwhich its that terrible I suppose. Couldve been much worse, is what Im saying. But its still fucking bad. CAMP CHAMP!
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Snake: Just as stupid as the first, though with a slightly more competent plot though there are actually continuity problems not that anybody who likes these movies would even care. And unlike the first, the villain isnt even slightly cool or funny, being some dweeby kid in a tracksuit. The only ounce of goodness in this film is Alyson Court.

Scarlet: You have to wonder why Karo thought a list comprised of failed ideas that spawned from other monotonously dull unoriginal concepts designed exclusively to squeeze every buffalo nickel out of a fallow mine of overprocessed corporate uncreativity was worthy of the time of the Gauntlet Crew. Especially when you find yourself observing the slow degradation of society in the pandemic of sequelitis. When Star Trek introduced a Next Generation, it gifted the series with a breath of fresh air and concepts that allowed the series to explore the modern world through the allegorical nature of science fiction. Care Bears not only has nothing to say, it doesnt even know how to disguise its lack of a point with the bells and whistles of, say, a Dreamworks film. And if none of this write-up did anything for you, Im sure that you will love the riveting saga of whatever the fuck a Camp Champ is.
Rating: 10/100

JONA: They got rid of "The" in the title. That makes the movie worst than the first by default. Darkheart can be kinda funny in a pathetic way but that still leaves a lot of time on boring bullshit.

Charon: You'd think one bad movie would lead to the end of a movie series for a show, but you'd be wrong. Not only did they make another one of these and release it to theaters, but somehow it got even worse. This time they bring in the "big bad" of the series to be a complete joke. I tried in vain when True Heart breaks the fourth wall to get them to end the movie by screaming that I didn't care, but sadly it went on anyway. Not to mention they totally invalidated the first film by suggesting that the "cousins" and the bears always knew one another and even grew up together. Granted that movie isn't any good either, but if you're going to be terrible at least try to stay in the same plot line.
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Stifled: This is completely soul crushing to me. I have to put a movie about BEARS in the bottom spot. Im a Bear Bro dammit! But this movie is bad. Unforgivably bad. Its the kind of bad that bankrupts movie studios. Or at the very least, causes them to not make animated movies for more than a decade.
So its a mess. It takes the inherent problems of a movie based on a toy line and just pees on them. They dont go for the dump because they want to suck you in, thinking its more of the same mindless drivel of the first movie. So they just pee on you instead. Its sterile, you think to yourself as the pee lands on you. It isnt a lot at first. Just enough of a stream to reach your ankle. Your sock is taking the brunt of it. But then they keep peeing. The stream starts to intensify as the plot makes less sense and more care animals appear. Its on your knees and has made your shorts noticeably wet. But heres the real kicker. The camp kids come on the screen with their horrible voice acting. You thought the animals had it bad? They dont even know what little girls and little boys are supposed to sound like. The little boys clearly sound like girls and the little girls have deep man voices. Its at this point the pee reaches its powerful finale, reaching your eyes and breaching your mouth. You try to spit it out, but each line of dialog makes it keep coming. And coming. And before you know it you are covered in pee. But your kids are so into this that you cant leave. You have to just endure the pee. And whats worse is you opened yourself up to buying the official merchandise after the movie. Better get a napkin and wipe the pee off your money.

Traviss Opinion: He got excited and said Care Bears out loud in a weird southern belle voice. But then after watching for about 5-10 minutes, he gave up and ignored it.

Genny: Before I post this writeup, first let me posit a riddle: How can a sequel, which rides off the profit of a previous installment have worse production values than the original? Answer: Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation finds a way, but if you think the animation is the only thing that's taken a nosedive here brother I have got quite a surprise for you! Let's start with the characterization. Oh wait, ha ha they've aged down the characters you might sort of have enjoyed from the first movie into fucking babies muppet style for the entire first act, which equates to almost HALF THE G-DAMNED MOVIE, and they've replaced the lead roles with two new characters no one could give a flying shit about because True Heart Bear and Noble Heart Horse are worthless and accomplish nothing. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!
The antagonist of this film is also significantly worse. Dark Heart starts off as this formless, genderless, inherently evil eldritch horror, but because this is a kid's movie by the end of it all he develops feelings and his only desire was to become a real boy with friends all along. As they would have said around the time this movie was released, "Gag me with a spoon!" Don't even get me started on the loser kids. Christy had potential to be an interesting character, but she, along with everything else this movie had to offer, was squandered. I've wasted enough words on this mess of a film.
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Outlier:

Karo: 68
Red: 33
Genny: 24
Stifled: 22
Johnbobb: 17
Inviso: 15
Scarlet: 8
JONA: 7
Charon: 6
Snake: 4

Hint for #25: the only movie remaining not in someone top 10
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I actually have no clue on what's next.
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Yayyyyy! Its dead!

Im gonna guess BraveStarr next.
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Maybe it's something newer like Smurfs: The Lost Village
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so as bad as Care Bears II was I need to give them credit for literally making a Care Bears movie based on Faust

it's not a bad interpretation, Dark Heart is literally based on Satan

I originally had it ranked near the bottom of my list but the more I thought about it as an interpretation of Faust the higher it rose
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That's funny, because the more I thought about Lion King as Hamlet, the more it dropped TLK in the Disney rankings. I think that if you're using source material and the end result is that the source material is THAT much better than your final product... I mean, damn, you can't even plagiarize correctly.
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I want to guess Chipmunks next maybe but Karo's Care Bear rankings have made me question everything
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scarletspeed7 posted...

That's funny, because the more I thought about Lion King as Hamlet, the more it dropped TLK in the Disney rankings. I think that if you're using source material and the end result is that the source material is THAT much better than your final product... I mean, damn, you can't even plagiarize correctly.

I guess it's just because it's such a drastically bizarre interpretation

like I can see the thought process behind "let's adapt one of Shakepeare's most popular stories, but with the animal kingdom" but the idea of "let's adapt an old German folklore of a man making a deal with Satan, but replace all the characters with Care Bears" just blows my mind

how did that happen

whose idea was it and can I thank them
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StifledSilence posted...

Yayyyyy! Its dead!

Im gonna guess BraveStarr next.

Both of these.

I cannot believe 4 of y'all had the gall to rank put that abortion of a film into your top 2/3rds. How not one, but 4 people could think 10 movies were worse than that is beyond me.

By the way Stifled your writeup made me laugh so hard I almost peed.

I cried
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GenesisSaga posted...

I cannot believe 4 of y'all had the gall to rank put that abortion of a film into your top 2/3rds. How not one, but 4 people could think 10 movies were worse than that is beyond me.

there are movies that are objectively a little better but also way more forgettable that ended up ranking lower

I'd rather watch a bad movie that makes me laugh so hard I cry than watch a boring, uninspired movie I'll forget about an hour later
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Johnbobb posted...

GenesisSaga posted...

I'd rather watch a bad movie that makes me laugh so hard I cry than watch a boring, uninspired movie I'll forget about an hour later

Okay well you've got me there as I'm the same way, but I'll be darned if I could remember anything worth laughing at in that gosh forsaken "movie".

Dark Heart is such a joke after its introduction that there's no way to take it seriously as a villain. When it poses as the Care Gauge thingy repairman VERY early on in the movie is when I lost all hope for him, which is a shame because shapeshifting is a power with almost limitless potential for good or evil, and he only uses it to trick stupid people and animals, or sometimes for nothing at all. Seriously why does he shift into a frog just to hop away? That's not sinister. I guess they couldn't make him do anything really bad if their plan was to redeem him all along, but even THAT blew chunks.

"WE CARE!"... Yeah? Well I don't.
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=) =)

Im glad you enjoyed it, Gen!

The write up, that is. Not that awful movie lmao
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It gave me a good chuckle too. Where do you even get this stuff?
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v_charon posted...

It gave me a good chuckle too. Where do you even get this stuff?

For some reason Care Bears 2 made me think of being tortured by slowly being urinated on for an hour and a half. Not sure why! I suppose you could say it just flowed out of me...*gets shot by care bear*
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25. Hey There, It's Yogi Bear!

Snake: 14
Scarlet: 17
Red: 17
Karo: 21
Inviso: 21
JONA: 21
Stifled: 22
Johnbobb: 23
Charon: 24
Genny: 29

Total Score: 209

Snake: Predictable story and way too long for people who are not fans of Yogi Bear, i.e. me. Its not all bad though. I will say I enjoy the charming animation style and Yogi himself isnt the worst character with enjoyable voice acting. Yogi Bear is one of those characters that really dont need a movie; ultimately this is a problematically long whereas a cartoon shorts is in and out a lot quicker.

Scarlet: You have to wonder why Karo thought a list comprised of meritless, valueless profiteering cash grabs soullessly cribbed from pre-established mediocre franchises was worthy of the time of Gauntlet Crew. Especially when you find yourself staring vapidly into a story so paper thin and shallow that it makes a kiddie pool in Texas drought seem positively deep in comparison. Who is Cindy? Why should I care? Who are these layabout wastrels glomming to the teat of the tourist industry? This movie does nothing but serve as an unentertaining diversion for the basest, most unimaginative children in mid-century middle America.
Rating: 20/100

Red: Yogi Bear has always been a weird one to me. Is he an idiot? Is he clever? Is he just a troll? It varies, and it varies in this movie too, hes a strange inconsistent character that bounces from place to place. And this movie bounces from place to place with most of the scenes ending up having nothing to do with each other. A lot of the movies on this list end up with the same problem of them just feeling like they are multiple episodes of their show strung together, and this kind of started that trend.

Karo: Yogi is a famous bear well known for stealing 'pic-a-nic' baskets, being very vain in regards to his supposed intelligence, and engaging in repetitive cartoon gags.
So what happens here is that Yogi and Boo-Boo have to go on a rescue mission to save his girlfriend Cindy after one of his plots goes wrong and leads to a series of events that culminate in her getting shipped off to a zoo.
This epic journey is mostly just Yogi doing a bunch of stupid things that only work half the time, and lots of mediocre musical numbers. Eventually this idiocy leaves them on the other side of the country in New York City and Ranger Smith has to come rescue them. Yogi may be smarter than the average bear, but unfortunately for him the average bear isnt very smart to begin with.
The plot is just a pointless bunch of nonsense that only exists to push our bear heroes onto the next set of silly scenes, and the movie ends up getting very boring very fast. It is pretty much just an hour-and-a-half long version of one of Hanna-Barbara's old cartoons, which honestly just werent really very good.

Inviso: Yeah, Im sorry, but between this and Disney, Im just not a fan of cartoons prior to the 80s (at best.) Yeah, there are some decent films early in animation history, but thats it. Decent. For the most part, you get films like Yogi here. I dont mind the animated shorts, I dont. But stretching that into a full-blown ninety-minute movie means dealing with a lot of stupidity, unnecessary songs, jarring plot transitions, and just an overall poor presentation. Its probably not fair to judge this by modern standards, but for fucks sakeyou can give me a LITTLE reasonable character development if you want me to enjoy a film.

JONA: It's neat to see the bears in a different setting and there are some nice songs in there, with Cindy having a great singing voice, but the movie's pretty ho-hum. Not much to get excited about.
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Stifled: This really hurts my soul putting Yogi Bear so low on this list. I love Yogis First Christmas and a bunch of his other specials. And when I was a kid, they had this series called the Spruce Goose that I really liked. And the classic Yogi cartoons are great too. But thisugh. It added cornball stupid ass singing and whistling that was absent from the cartoons and actually good in the other specials. And its a shame because the classic Yogi hijinx are there and still good. But everything else they sprinkled in just ruined it.
Also, forcing Yogi to suddenly be in love with Cindy even though hes totally not into her creepy advances before is terrible. The only P Yogi wants is a pic-a-nic basket! #YogiIsAVictim

Traviss Opinion: He was confused by the bear being called Boo Boo instead of him, since thats the nickname I gave him. But beyond that, he was showing off for his great grandparents who were visiting him that day.

Johnbobb: Ive never really been the biggest fan of old Hanna Barbera cartoons, and this movie didnt exactly do anything to change that. I mean, its not bad, but its also pretty forgettable. I guess maybe this is a generational thing, but I just really didnt find much to enjoy here.

Charon: Having never been a great fan of Yogi himself, since he has little redeeming qualities as a character, this wasn't as bad to sit through as it could have been. Cindy is... yeah. Interesting? Odd? No I know the word now; horny. Yeah, that's the one. The musical numbers are hit and miss, but when they miss they miss wildly. The biggest issue is that it's just way too long given what they do with the time. The Cindy storyline should have wrapped this movie up but we get a sequence with some hillbilly town and then suddenly they made it all the way to New York. This all takes place over like a weekend to so it's slightly unbelievable in terms of time management. It felt a lot longer than 90 minutes, that I can say for certain.

Genny: I have never liked Yogi Bear ever. Even as a kid I thought he was greedy, and not in a fun way like Garfield, annoying, and not in a fun way like Daffy Duck or other Looney Tunes, and a hassle to Ranger Smith who made a total mockery of his profession. Just when I thought that [bad word here] might finally get shipped away from the park like he always deserved Yogi of course weasels out of it. I did like Boo Boo and Cindy... until I grew up, and until I watched this respectively.
My gosh the two of them were just as repulsive as Yogi albeit for very different reasons. The songs were dull and repetitive with the exception of the St. Louis song and Like I Like You, which, while far from boring, kind of ruins Cindy's innocence and makes her give off disturbing rapey vibes. I don't have much else to say about this movie other than that I wasn't a fan of the characters, plot, or voice acting (how did I never realize how annoying Boo Boo's voice was as a child), but the animation was par with the show at least.
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Outlier:

Karo: 72
Red: 41
Genny: 28
Stifled: 25
Johnbobb: 19
Inviso: 19
Scarlet: 16
Snake: 15
JONA: 11
Charon: 7

Hint for 24: Made after 1990.
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oh cool I'm not the only one that feels whatever about Hanna Barbera

guessing Jetsons next?
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Let's go with Doug.
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Johnbobb posted...

oh cool I'm not the only one that feels whatever about Hanna Barbera

guessing Jetsons next?

no, made in 1990 not after.
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