Board 8 > Lopen books WWE in real time in TEW Wrestlemania Insanity Edition TURBO #Reload

(+) Yeah! (+)

or at least sanzang
---

or at least li shuwen
---

or at least pig david
---

I'm going to make this bump so it doesn't somehow get worse than pig david
---

or at least a saberface
---

Pig david is already worse than a Saberface
---

thats not what i heard from newbie
---

At this rate we're just going to hope to restart by the next PPV
---

Make sure WALTER wins the nxt north american title belt

I'm going only because WALTER is stylized all in caps
---

I don't book NXT

Well to be more accurate I don't book anything

But especially not NXT
---

I had a dream last night that I was browsing GameFAQs. There was a lot of highly intellectual discussion everywhere on the site. Then I came to board 8 and saw that Lopen had updated his TEW thing, and at that moment I realized things were too crazy to be real and promptly woke up
---

I think my diary is currently the most frequently updated and that's kinda sad
---

And I made a backup. AND I booked the entire first week
---

or at least amakusa shirou
---

or at least stheno
---

that's the bottom of the barrel that's all I got
---

Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are like Lopen's claims that he'll actually update, they definitely don't matter
---

I think it's Tom's or Dante's line
---

Okay it's mine

The true enemy is not the backlog as much as the break as I forgot a lot of crap I was going to do and it's hard to get into the rhythm.

But I spent a lot of time today on GOOGLE SPREADSHEETS though and I'm pretty close to remapping out all the planz. I guarantee some updates by this weekend. Not a Russo swerve guarantee a real one.
---

editors note: update may contain trace amounts of russo swerves
---

I don't expect Friday

I do expect Saturday, however. If an update is not obtained by Saturday, we may commence panic.
---

I shall prepare accordingly
---

i expect sunday american samoa time
---

get ready to panic!!
---

Alright hopefully we'll get back in the stride of things here. Hoping to do Smackdown tomorrow as well.

Raw Week 4 April 2018

We start the show by immediately revealing the new GM of Raw...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qhTr7EQJfg" data-time="

MVP shows up, he's accompanied by Mark Henry, who he explains is his second in command. MVP talks about how years ago while he was the highest paid free agent in Smackdown history, he decided to plan for his future, and dumped a bunch of his money into WWE stock. Then, well, he forgot about it for years and years-- to his detriment, in fact. But recently he received a call from the board executive shareholders, who gave him this position due to his financial stake and previous experience in WWE.

Miz interrupts MVP while he's infodumping, insisting no one cares about this, and that tonight should be to celebrate his ALL TIME RECORD BREAKING REIGN, as he is now, as of Sunday, the longest reigning IC Champion in history! MVP and Mark Henry insincerely applaud and give him kudos, but Titus O'Neil interrupts, saying that according to his statistician Dana Brooke, after looking into it after seeing Miz gloat all day backstage, Miz isn't the longest reigning IC Champion until NEXT Sunday. Titus suggests, MVP thinks that's a great idea. Miz will have a match against a new signing... and it'll be... NEXT! (83)

The Miz vs... new signing Robbie E? Robbie E, under the name Robbie E and still doing his basic Jersey Shore gimmick from TNA, gets no respect from Miz. He puts up some fight, but Miz puts him down without too much trouble. (65)

MVP and Mark Henry are backstage in their office, Mark Henry is shaking hands with Paul Ellering-- as Ellering is walking away, Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn show up to talk some trash. They say they still rule this show, and they'll cripple MVP if he tries to stop them. Mark Henry steps in... saying if they try this, they'll be inducted into the Hall of Pain... Owens and Zayn cut him off, mocking this right up in Henry's face-- a washed up has been like Mark Henry isn't going to stop them either. Akam and Rezar show up out of nowhere, step in between Henry and Owens and Zayn, staring the two down... as Henry finishes... "courtesy, of the Authors of Pain." Owens and Zayn slowly back off, and MVP says they're barred from Raw and they have 5 minutes to get out of here as the AoP continue to stare a hole in them. (84)

The Hardy Boyz vs The Revival. Jeff wrestles the match, ignoring Matt Hardy, who grabs a mic on the apron and incoherently shouts about how he and brother Nero are in a time loop, destined to face Dash of Wilds and Daw's Son biweekly for eternity! Jeff Hardy kinda wins 1v2, more or less, as Matt is never tagged in or even really acknowledged. (74)

Seth Rollins is backstage, getting in Roman's face about Roman abandoning him to face Joe last week. Roman apologizes, Rollins isn't having it. Joe shows up, mocks them, and challenges Rollins to a match tonight. Rollins accepts-- Roman offers to have his back, and Rollins blows him off. (91)

Nia Jax d. Mandy Rose in a total squash (46) Alexa Bliss shows up on the tron, explaining to everyone that Nia Jax is a bully, look at poor Mandy Rose, she's dead! Mandy Rose struggles to her feet-- Alexa clarifies not literally dead-- Nia Jax samoan drops Mandy-- Alexa clarifies maybe literally dead *ahem* POOR MANDY ROSE WOE~ (69)
---

Kairi Sane shows up just outside MVP's Office. Before MVP can regard her, Russo appears out of nowhere-- "This is Carrie Sane, bro, and she's ready to take the women's division by storm, bro, so you'd better have a match for her if you want the best talent on your show, bro" MVP nods, says he's interested, and offers to have her face Mickie James-- Kairi Sane looks excited! Russo says that's not good enough, bro, you've gotta do a little better. MVP offers to have her face Alexa Bliss-- Kairi Sane looks excited! Russo says this isn't good enough, bro, come on Carrie as your agent we gotta go, bro. Russo walks off. Kairi says some stuff in Japanese to MVP, then shouts Alexa Bliss, pumps her fist. MVP says that offer was the best he can do, sorry, bye, and closes the door in her face. Kairi Sane is livid, shouts "NANI?!?" at the door... then sulks... then walks away.(61)

Samoa Joe vs Seth Rollins. A competitive match for a few minutes, until Roman shows up, distracting Rollins. Samoa Joe gets a decisive advantage, but Rollins eventually rolls out of the ring, shouts "screw this" shoots a glare at Roman, and gets counted out (74)

Cedric Alexander is in the ring, he'll face anyone cause yadayada cruiserweight title prestige. Goldust appears says he'll battle him... but it must be... for the Cruiserweight Title... Alexander says he's on (64) The match only goes for a few minutes, when Drake Maverick, GM of 205 Live shows up, and says this match MUST be stopped now, as Goldust clearly is not 205 or under. And so it is. The match is thrown out. Cedric is livid! (59)

Carmella shows up to MVP's office. Asks if MVP is going to try to take her title too. MVP says that's a great idea-- but Mark Henry cuts him off, tapping on a notebook, and says he can't do that. He taps the notebook, and explains the GM can't put themselves in a title match according to the stipulations set forth by the board of directors in paragraph 74 subsectio-- MVP is like "why did I bring you along anyway?" MVP says she's a Smackdown talent anyway so she should make like KO and Zayn and beat it. Carmella grins and leaves. (76) As she leaves, Miz shows up to gloat about how even the combined might of MVP and Zack Ryder could not stop him. "Robbie E"-- "What?"-- Miz continues to gloat, MVP gets visibly annoyed, says he gave him an easy opponent out of respect, but now Miz won't shut up, so he's going to have to face Braun Strowman in our main event... tonight... Miz's mouth agape-- "you can't do that I al--" "for the Intercontinental Title" (98)

After the break, Robbie E is backstage... he's like "EASY MATCH HE SAYS!?!" Out of nowhere Strowman appears and throws him through a wall. (72) Hawkins is in the ring, says Sheamus is going to have to FACE THE FACTS! Sheamus comes out for a match. Sheamus distracts the ref. Cesaro brutalizes Hawkins for literal minutes as Sheamus somehow keeps the ref distracted the whole time. Corey Graves is livid about the incompetence of this ref. After a neutralizer, Cesaro finally gets bored, and Sheamus pins Hawkins having hit no moves of his own on him (73)

Miztourage are in the ring, say it's all Titus Worldwide's fault Miz must defend his title against Strowman, and they're going to make em pay, for Miz (47) Apollo and Titus d. The Miztourage easily (56)

Finn Balor vs "Jose". It's No Way Jose, but with jobber presentation-- Jose argues with Jojo that his name isn't just "Jose." Finn Balor wins easily (69)
---

Miz vs Braun Strowman. Miz tries every trick in the book. Cheating, Intentional DQ, Intentional Count Out, but Strowman is too fast and too relentless, and despite Miz not having a ton of issue with Robbie E, comes into this match slightly fatigued. Miz is never really in the match, and once Strowman undermines all the self DQ and cheating attempts, he powerslams him and wins the IC Title.(79) Strowman celebrates. Miz slowly recovers... he looks completely devastated, staring into space. Strowman roars at him, and Miz doesn't even flinch, continuing to stare off into space. Strowman shrugs, hoists the title high, and walks off (100)

Show rating - 86

Notes:
MVP's Authority Figure and Robbie E's Lounge Lizard gimmicks got great.
Robbie E was eddv's prize btw.
None of the Authority Figures revealed so far were CPU's pick. No I did not forget there's a reason for this!
Were this the real world Miz would be 6 or 8 days behind Pedro Morales had he not lost the IC Championship at Mania and retained it until April 23, which is what Raw this would be. Numbers are accurate!
---

poor miz ;_;
---

Two updates in two days was a bit ambitious. Still going to try for tomorrow though. Ideally I want to try and make up one week per week minimum which means 4 shows a week minimum.

It is daunting to be sure but maybe doable.
---

Sheamus, the ultimate ref distraction
---

my b
---

ae
---

on
---

tario
---

De Janeiro
---

I am sure I could use "iro" for something japanese but I'm too tired
---

Redo attempt at regular updates tomorrow
---

Rowan said I could not
---

Note Rowan said something that wasn't Rowan
---

Harper: Rowan?

Rowan: Bludgeon Brothers!
---

It's tough keeping that theme going
---

Alright. Tomorrow we will get one show.

We must slow the bleeding before we can start returning. Between last week and this week it'll be half bleed rate.
---

Keep in mind that was tomorrow in American Samoa Time.
---

The only time that matters...?
---

I can't say anything, in my industry we always give date estimates in American samoa time
---

lolol
---

fohsamoa
---

Spikes the purge
---

Austin 3:16 says I just bumped your ass
---

I got this one
---