Current Events > My dad fell on ice and hit his head really bad. I feel so useless so far away.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Got a call at work. My dad slipped on ice while at work and hit his head really bad.

They are currently at the hospital getting him ready for a CT scan. He is suffering from paralysis, at first it was his whole body but currently only the upper body he has no feeling for, except for his thumbs which are hyper sensitive and painful to the touch.

My dad is 63 years old and I live 15,000km away and currently feel like fucking garbage for not being there. I've barely seen my family over the last 4 years and something like this happening is what I've been dreading the whole time.

I just don't know what to do...
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Sorry to hear that. Why havent you talked to them much?
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You should go see him man
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:(

Hope he recovers and does it fast.

And yeah, shit like this is what makes me terrified to move away from my home town.
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You travel abroad a lot, right? Not sure what your job is though, but is there no way you can go for an emergency visit? I can't imagine what you're feeling right now, but it's something I've thought about way too often myself with my own mother. I hope he feels better soon.
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go to him
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josifrees posted...

Sorry to hear that. Why havent you talked to them much?

I live in Thailand, they are in Canada. I've been home for a few months total over the past few years.

R0ttedHorror posted...

You should go see him man

That's the problem. I don't know if I can. First I don't even think I could afford it because my wife and I just bought a new house which has pretty much emptied out our bank accounts. On top of that, I'm not sure how my school would react. Thailand is finicky and I'm not sure if I'd have a job when I got home.
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At work? Lawsuit baby.

The X Dawg posted...

At work? Lawsuit baby.

Maybe. He works at Rona (like Home Hardware). They definitely should get nailed for something.
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U should go see him now, brain bleeds are potentially devastating.
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That'd a terrible situation to be in. Have you considered helping your parents to install and use Skype?
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that sucks, i'm sorry. maybe now would be a good excuse to go home and see your family, i'm sure they could use the help and support right now and your job would be more understanding maybe?
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That sucks but don't feel bad. There's literally nothing you can do about it. Doesn't matter if you are there or not.
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Yeah I know you live far away but you can video chat with them and shit
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That sucks dude. Best of luck to your father and hope he recovers
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What about your mom or other family members? Can they help?
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sorry, man.

hopefully he recovers quickly and fully.
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NES4EVER posted...

That'd a terrible situation to be in. Have you considered helping your parents to install and use Skype?

josifrees posted...

Yeah I know you live far away but you can video chat with them and shit

We already do this. My wife talks to one or both pretty much every day via Messenger Video. I talk them once every couple weeks typically.
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Rob Cesternino posted...

What about your mom or other family members? Can they help?

My mom and brother are there right now so he isn't alone or anything. I just feel bad. His age, the amount of time I've been gone and the fact that he has never had the chance to hold his granddaughter makes me feel guilty as fuck.
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Welp, this topic certainly ruin my mood.

I hope your father gets the proper medical treatment for this and recovers. This is going to go on for the long haul.

Ugh. I'm so sorry, man.
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Condolences
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MuayThai85 posted...

NES4EVER posted...

That'd a terrible situation to be in. Have you considered helping your parents to install and use Skype?

josifrees posted...

Yeah I know you live far away but you can video chat with them and shit

We already do this. My wife talks to one or both pretty much every day via Messenger Video. I talk them once every couple weeks typically.

Well I don't know your situation with your parents but I'd try to talk a bit more often than every 2 weeks. Having recently lost my dad I really wish i had talked to him more before his dementia was too far along. If this scare shows you anything, it's that parents are always there until they're not.
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Still waiting for CT scan results. They said it would be an hour and it's been a little over that so far. He can move everything but his fingers now. They stay closed in a fist, the doctor will open his hand and they will automatically go back into a fist. This is with both hands.

They just called in a spinal specialist. This is fucked man...
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i know how you feel bro. i dont live with my parents anymore, but everytime my mom calls, its either her kidneys are failing or my dad's in the hospital again. they're in their 70s and 60s. i want to help, but what can i do?
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_BlueMonk posted...

i know how you feel bro. i dont live with my parents anymore, but everytime my mom calls, its either her kidneys are failing or my dad's in the hospital again. they're in their 70s and 60s. i want to help, but what can i do?

Give your dad a kidney
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Dark_SilverX posted...

Give your dad a kidney

lol my mom needs the kidney and it hasn't come to that yet.
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_BlueMonk posted...

i know how you feel bro. i dont live with my parents anymore, but everytime my mom calls, its either her kidneys are failing or my dad's in the hospital again. they're in their 70s and 60s. i want to help, but what can i do?

Spend time with them?

As my dad's disease progressed I knew time was limited. I would travel an hour into town every weekend possible to spend time with my parents. Hell, christmas 2016 I drove my family an hour into town to spend an hour with my dad at home (he was put in a care home 2 months prior and it turned out to be the last time I saw him at home).

Obviously everyone's situation is different but even if it seems impractical spend time with your parents.
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no i know. i do visit them . i just think i feel bad sometimes cuz in my head, they're at deaths door, kneeling over from the pain 90% of the time. but they're not. they're sick yeah, but they haven't given up yet.

i just feel all guilty all the time when i have a moment of joy, i think " i can't be happy cuz my parents are sick"

i dunno.
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When I came back from boarding school my parents told me that my grandpa had died some days earlier but they didn't want to tell me because I had finals. Really fucked me under the surface tbh
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So, just talked to my mom. There are no fractures on his skull or spine but there appears to be never damage on his spine. They are sending for an mri now to see if he will need surgery to repair it or not. His head seems fine other than a concussion but the question is how's his back.
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He's had the mri done and they've done to the doctor. He needs surgery. They have to go in through the back of his neck, repair 6 or 7 of these pockets of nerves and remove part of a vertebrae. No guarantee he will gain full mobility again.

They've had him laying down in the same position since it happened. He asked the doctor to say if he could sit up because his legs felt fine. She told him no because if he moved he could cause more damage and even permanent paralysis.

This is so fucked up...
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...Christ.
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My mom just called me, it's worse than they thought. He has damage to the 3rd, 4th, 6th and 7th vertebrae in his neck. One of the discs is crushed. They need to remove the disc and insert 2 screws into the vertebraes.

They don't know what kind of mobility he will have after surgery. They currently have his head and body pinned in with sandbags because one wrong move and he's facing permanent paralysis. They did needle tests on his legs and all he felt was something touching him but no pain or pricking sensation from it.

I told my mom she needs to contact a lawyer immediately. He's broken his fucking neck and it's due to negligence on behalf of Rona. The area he was in is accessible by customers. He's never going to be able to work again and my parents need to be compensated for this.

My mom has a bunch of health problems as is but with both of them unable to work they are completely fucked financially.
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Damn, hoping for the best
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