Poll of the Day > I panicked during an interview today.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I was talking to a guy from the CIA who was looking into possibly hiring me after I graduate and it was going pretty okay until he asked if I was willing to relocate to D.C. i said I was but... am i?

I started thinking about having to live actual life. Moving away from all my new friends. Moving even further from my old friends and my family. I always thought moving away was going to be a temporary thing and I'd end up going back to live in my hometown forever. Even during college I'd never spend more than five months away without visiting.

But now this year is like... I might go home for a few days during Christmas, but I'm staying here for spring break and I'm hopefully doing some major traveling during the summer and fall, and then maybe right after that moving to DC for the foreseeable future?

Then I started thinking about the fact that I just got into a new relationship and it's so obvious that it isn't going to last long. We'll be together maybe two months and then she's leaving for the winter. If we're still together come spring, we'll be a thing for maybe 4 months and then I'll be gone. I'm leaving. Maybe I'm leaving? If not to D.C. then certainly to somewhere else, right? Who wants to stay in C-Stat?

So anyway all this was going through my head and I started having a lot of anxiety about the future and the guy interviewing me definitely felt it and I wanted to cry and then I thought about school and how I'm not even doing too hot this semester and how I might not ever even graduate and how I'm wasting my time and my life and didn't I want to do grad school after this what kind of grad school would even accept me at this rate

So yeah I felt real bad. I gotta figure out, man. The future's comin way faster than I thought it was .-.
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I have an easy way to do it.

Run for President.

I'm 14 years too young and like 70 years under experienced
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MrMelodramatic posted...

I'm 14 years too young and like 70 years under experienced

Damn.

Sorry man.

You have to move to D.C. the hard way then.

Wtf did I just read
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mastermix3000 posted...

Wtf did I just read

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sorry to hear that, user mrmelodramatic
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Smarkil posted...

mastermix3000 posted...

Wtf did I just read

I've never been comfortable with the idea of moving for a new job. Switching jobs is stressful enough without adding to it.
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Nah.....We've relocated to different countries. I'm okay with moving around and meeting new people and seeing different places.
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I've never been keen on moving or traveling at all. Like up until maybe a few months ago I was totally fine with never again leaving Texas. Living the rest of my life here and then dying. I never had the want to travel and see things; it always seemed kinda depressing to me.

Now I'm trying to want to want to travel more. But ughfdeguntrciibg I get really anxious about going 90 miles south into Houston, I reeeaaallllllyyyyyyyyyy dislike the idea of completely starting over again.
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I've only moved twice in my life and once was for a job and the other one was to a different country to get married. I don't regret either. The thing about moving away from your friends is, unless you come from one of the country's major metropolitan areas, you're going to need to either move away or settle when it comes to your career. That is, unless you either have extremely low aspirations, or get very, very lucky and a major company in your industry that you want to work for just so happens to have the exact job you want in your home town available for you.

It's kind of an inevitably of life that old friends grow apart. However, if they are real friends, they'll always be down to party when you're in town to visit. You'll make new friends wherever you move, and it's best to just embrace change, because it's either going to happen anyway, or you'll probably regret not taking the opportunity when you're older.
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GameReviews posted...

I've only moved twice in my life and once was for a job and the other one was to a different country to get married. I don't regret either. The thing about moving away from your friends is, unless you come from one of the country's major metropolitan areas, you're going to need to either move away or settle when it comes to your career. That is, unless you either have extremely low aspirations, or get very, very lucky and a major company in your industry that you want to work for just so happens to have the exact job you want in your home town available for you.

It's kind of an inevitably of life that old friends grow apart. However, if they are real friends, they'll always be down to party when you're in town to visit. You'll make new friends wherever you move, and it's best to just embrace change, because it's either going to happen anyway, or you'll probably regret not taking the opportunity when you're older.

guess my group of friends was a rarity. I moved a lot growing up but due to family being in that area always managed to end up back in that town. known one kid since he was 4, we still talk all the time despite living in different states and when money allows us we hang out. and the others from that group, though i've made it clear I'm not interested in keeping our friendship they keep trying. we all grew up in the same neighborhood.
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MrMelodramatic posted...

I've never been keen on moving or traveling at all. Like up until maybe a few months ago I was totally fine with never again leaving Texas. Living the rest of my life here and then dying. I never had the want to travel and see things; it always seemed kinda depressing to me.

Now I'm trying to want to want to travel more. But ughfdeguntrciibg I get really anxious about going 90 miles south into Houston, I reeeaaallllllyyyyyyyyyy dislike the idea of completely starting over again.

Having lived in three countries and maybe five states, in addition to having visited several more countries and many more states, I have no strong desire to travel. If I did travel, I'd likely live in the new area for at least a month but -- unless I'm either wholly self-employed or able to work remotely -- that doesn't seem like something I might do.

If I do move voluntarily, it would probably be to someplace else in the region because, as much as I hate the northeast with its erratic weather and absurd taxes, it's where the majority of my American relatives reside. And, since I've been away from everywhere else I've lived for more than 15 years now, it's not like I'd be going back to much anyway. I still have friends in Miami, but we're not super-close and I've lost contact with many others.

GameReviews posted...

The thing about moving away from your friends is, unless you come from one of the country's major metropolitan areas, you're going to need to either move away or settle when it comes to your career. That is, unless you either have extremely low aspirations, or get very, very lucky and a major company in your industry that you want to work for just so happens to have the exact job you want in your home town available for you.

Statistically, I *believe* most people live in a major metro. iirc, something like 80% of the population lives in an urban setting. While some fields aren't well-represented in all areas, *most* jobs have at least some representation. And you literally don't need to work in your hometown to live in your hometown because cars and trains exist. I've commuted over an hour for some jobs, and I know people who commute 90 minutes.
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MrMelodramatic posted...

I was talking to a guy from the CIA

I stopped reading right der
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I also had an interview today. It was for a place in Ohio, and I live in California. If they hire me, I'd totally be fine with leaving my friends and family to go live somewhere new and get a fresh start. Not that I don't like my friends and family, but it would be great to get a fresh start, meet new people, and see new places. I've never truly been on my own before and this would be a great way to do it.

Hope everything goes well for you, TC.
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DC seems crime ridden... But youll get a cool set of skills to combat evildoers, so go!

you likely wouldn't pass the psych eval.
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God, you have turned into such a weenie, dude..
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Zeus posted...

MrMelodramatic posted...

I've never been keen on moving or traveling at all. Like up until maybe a few months ago I was totally fine with never again leaving Texas. Living the rest of my life here and then dying. I never had the want to travel and see things; it always seemed kinda depressing to me.

Now I'm trying to want to want to travel more. But ughfdeguntrciibg I get really anxious about going 90 miles south into Houston, I reeeaaallllllyyyyyyyyyy dislike the idea of completely starting over again.

Having lived in three countries and maybe five states, in addition to having visited several more countries and many more states, I have no strong desire to travel. If I did travel, I'd likely live in the new area for at least a month but -- unless I'm either wholly self-employed or able to work remotely -- that doesn't seem like something I might do.

If I do move voluntarily, it would probably be to someplace else in the region because, as much as I hate the northeast with its erratic weather and absurd taxes, it's where the majority of my American relatives reside. And, since I've been away from everywhere else I've lived for more than 15 years now, it's not like I'd be going back to much anyway. I still have friends in Miami, but we're not super-close and I've lost contact with many others.

GameReviews posted...

The thing about moving away from your friends is, unless you come from one of the country's major metropolitan areas, you're going to need to either move away or settle when it comes to your career. That is, unless you either have extremely low aspirations, or get very, very lucky and a major company in your industry that you want to work for just so happens to have the exact job you want in your home town available for you.

Statistically, I *believe* most people live in a major metro. iirc, something like 80% of the population lives in an urban setting. While some fields aren't well-represented in all areas, *most* jobs have at least some representation. And you literally don't need to work in your hometown to live in your hometown because cars and trains exist. I've commuted over an hour for some jobs, and I know people who commute 90 minutes.

The point is, you're severely limiting your career options if you're unwilling to move away from your home town. Also, I've commuted over an hour each way to work before and it sucks. You're literally spending almost a full month of your year driving back and fourth to work.
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GameReviews posted...

The point is, you're severely limiting your career options if you're unwilling to move away from your home town. Also, I've commuted over an hour each way to work before and it sucks. You're literally spending almost a full month of your year driving back and fourth to work.

Given that most careers are widely accommodated within a commute, "severely limiting" is a stretch. And, in general, there's a feasibility issue in moving across the country or planet for work where the long-term investment has to justify sacrificing your connections, paying moving costs, selling your old home and selecting a new one, etc. Keep in mind that your network of contacts is very important when it comes to advancing your career and it takes years to build a strong network.

And yes, commuting sucks. The best case scenario is catching up on tv or film while riding a train, etc, and even that isn't great. However, realistically speaking, unless you're moving every time you get a new job or live dead-smack in the middle of a major city, commuting is almost an inevitability.

All that aside, right after college is *probably* the best time in a person's life to move if they're going to move.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-CG5w4YwOI
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Lmao you're worried that your future is coming too quick and you're 21? Dude you have all the time in the world. You could literally do nothing but get high for the next five years and still be young enough to figure out what to do with your life

Zeus posted...

Given that most careers are widely accommodated within a commute, "severely limiting" is a stretch. And, in general, there's a feasibility issue in moving across the country or planet for work where the long-term investment has to justify sacrificing your connections, paying moving costs, selling your old home and selecting a new one, etc. Keep in mind that your network of contacts is very important when it comes to advancing your career and it takes years to build a strong network.

And yes, commuting sucks. The best case scenario is catching up on tv or film while riding a train, etc, and even that isn't great. However, realistically speaking, unless you're moving every time you get a new job or live dead-smack in the middle of a major city, commuting is almost an inevitability.

All that aside, right after college is *probably* the best time in a person's life to move if they're going to move.

In my experience, the ones who weren't willing to move after college were the ones who always complained about not being able to find a job. Sure, if you live near a major city, you'll probably be able to find something, but you're severely limiting your job opportunities.

Also, I've found that a lot of major organizations are provide a moving stipend if not outright pay for pretty much all of it. It's generally included in the employment contract.
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Smarkil posted...

In my experience, the ones who weren't willing to move after college were the ones who always complained about not being able to find a job. Sure, if you live near a major city, you'll probably be able to find something, but you're severely limiting your job opportunities.

In my experience, the ones who aren't able to get a job are the ones who complain about not being able to find a job -- whether they move or not. While there are certainly some fields which necessitate moving, that's not true for the majority of jobs. And a lot of people who can't get work in one area probably wouldn't in another. If we're trading anecdotes, I know people who have flown out to interviews in other states and only have the mileage and a bill to show for their efforts (in addition to all of the guys who drove out). People are willing to change locations but most of the time the thing they really need to change is themselves.
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Broken_Zeus posted...

In my experience, the ones who aren't able to get a job are the ones who complain about not being able to find a job -- whether they move or not. While there are certainly some fields which necessitate moving, that's not true for the majority of jobs. And a lot of people who can't get work in one area probably wouldn't in another. If we're trading anecdotes, I know people who have flown out to interviews in other states and only have the mileage and a bill to show for their efforts (in addition to all of the guys who drove out). People are willing to change locations but most of the time the thing they really need to change is themselves.

It's a numbers game dude. Not all fields are equal. It's not anecdotal to say you're limiting your options by not being willing to move.

It's simple.

I could either have my choice of 10 potential employers in a 30 mile radius from my home or I can have a choice of 10k in the entire country. If you're not at least looking into options out-of-state, you're doing yourself a disservice.
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Smarkil posted...

Broken_Zeus posted...

In my experience, the ones who aren't able to get a job are the ones who complain about not being able to find a job -- whether they move or not. While there are certainly some fields which necessitate moving, that's not true for the majority of jobs. And a lot of people who can't get work in one area probably wouldn't in another. If we're trading anecdotes, I know people who have flown out to interviews in other states and only have the mileage and a bill to show for their efforts (in addition to all of the guys who drove out). People are willing to change locations but most of the time the thing they really need to change is themselves.

It's a numbers game dude. Not all fields are equal. It's not anecdotal to say you're limiting your options by not being willing to move.

It's simple.

I could either have my choice of 10 potential employers in a 30 mile radius from my home or I can have a choice of 10k in the entire country. If you're not at least looking into options out-of-state, you're doing yourself a disservice.

I've specified several times that SOME fields are more region-locked. The majority, however, are not. More importantly, for all sorts of logistical reasons, you don't "have a choice of 10k in the entire country" because -- unless you're like some idiots I know -- you're not going to fly out to interviews on the other side of the country. You MIGHT move to a new area and look for jobs in that area, but that's just locking yourself into another area.

And it's not anecdotal that the vast majority of Americans -- at least 80% -- in the vast majority of jobs have more than "10 employers within 30 miles" (and, of course, you can commute more than 30 miles -- I certainly did). Doubly so because if you're going to college for something specialized, usually there are employers with that specialization in the area.

As for your "numbers game," most people who complain about not being able to get hired in one area wouldn't be able to get hired somewhere else -- after all, keep in mind that places with more businesses/opportunities also have more competition. There are some recessed regions but, if you're going to college, odds are you're going to be nowhere near them.
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Broken_Zeus posted...

I've specified several times that SOME fields are more region-locked. The majority, however, are not. More importantly, for all sorts of logistical reasons, you don't "have a choice of 10k in the entire country" because -- unless you're like some idiots I know -- you're not going to fly out to interviews on the other side of the country. You MIGHT move to a new area and look for jobs in that area, but that's just locking yourself into another area.

And it's not anecdotal that the vast majority of Americans -- at least 80% -- in the vast majority of jobs have more than "10 employers within 30 miles" (and, of course, you can commute more than 30 miles -- I certainly did). Doubly so because if you're going to college for something specialized, usually there are employers with that specialization in the area.

As for your "numbers game," most people who complain about not being able to get hired in one area wouldn't be able to get hired somewhere else -- after all, keep in mind that places with more businesses/opportunities also have more competition. There are some recessed regions but, if you're going to college, odds are you're going to be nowhere near them.

You're absolutely wrong on this one. If you're working in a low-skill position, sure, don't bother. But if you're in a professional field you should absolutely be looking everywhere. You need to know what your worth, and that comes from applying/interviewing with multiple different employers in different environments.

Let's take programming for instance. Sure, you could find a low-level programming job at some small-mid sized company almost anywhere, but more often than not you're going to get paid a terrible wage. However, if you open your search to the big guys like Microsoft or Google, if they're willing to hire you then you know you're worth far more than the 50k that Joe-Bobs Programming Shack was going to offer you.

Also, I don't know what kind of interviews you're aware of, but I've never heard of someone having to pay out of pocket to fly out to an interview. The general procedure is that they'll usually do a video conference/Skype first (if they don't have any local reps) and determine whether you're good enough to be considered. If you are, then they'll fly you out on their dime and pay for your flight. Sometimes it's a quick turn around to where they'll put you back on a same day flight, other times they'll put you up in a hotel for a night.

Hell, I had one interview that was going out to Southern California and I asked if they could set my return flight a few days later so I could stay for a few days. I of course paid for my hotel, but I ended up getting a practically free vacation out of the deal.

What could you possibly have to lose by looking outside of your immediate area?
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I know plenty of people who have gotten jobs in a location where they don't currently live, but I've also heard that you're basically putting yourself at a disadvantage at the start to apply non-locally, since you're fighting an uphill battle against local candidates. I think it really just depends on what your career is and how you got the job. A lot of the people I can think of probably got their job either at our school career fair or through our school careers portal, so in that case the company was obviously looking for non-local candidates, but I'd be wary of wasting my time on out-of-state applications that I just found found online.

For me, I'm looking mainly for software jobs, and if I can't get one in Denver/Boulder, it's doubtful I'd have much better luck anywhere else. If I lived some place like Milwaukee, then it would be a different story and I should look outside for software jobs.

Smarkil posted...

What could you possibly have to lose by looking outside of your immediate area?

Waste of time/effort on places that aren't going to even give you a shot with your location.

Smarkil posted...

But if you're in a professional field you should absolutely be looking everywhere. You need to know what your worth, and that comes from applying/interviewing with multiple different employers in different environments.

In most professional fields, there are more than enough vacancies and opportunities to have you covered. That only becomes a problem at the C-level which most people here aren't at and never will be.

Smarkil posted...

Let's take programming for instance. Sure, you could find a low-level programming job at some small-mid sized company almost anywhere, but more often than not you're going to get paid a terrible wage. However, if you open your search to the big guys like Microsoft or Google, if they're willing to hire you then you know you're worth far more than the 50k that Joe-Bobs Programming Shack was going to offer you.

...which is an example of a more regional field. If you're going into programming, there are a handful of regions for that. *However* that doesn't guarantee great pay because, if you're good at your job, you can demand strong wages elsewhere or you can telecommute. And, if you suck at your job, you're going to be making low wages there as well AND you're going to have more competition for those lower-wage positions in an area with a far higher COL.

The same is true of acting. While you can make money doing it anywhere, the big places are LA and NYC (or Toronto, which is like Canadian Hollywood).

Smarkil posted...

Also, I don't know what kind of interviews you're aware of, but I've never heard of someone having to pay out of pocket to fly out to an interview. The general procedure is that they'll usually do a video conference/Skype first (if they don't have any local reps) and determine whether you're good enough to be considered. If you are, then they'll fly you out on their dime and pay for your flight. Sometimes it's a quick turn around to where they'll put you back on a same day flight, other times they'll put you up in a hotel for a night.

Which I can chalk up to your relative inexperience when it comes to interviewing and hiring. While there are certainly employers who value a candidate enough to pay for them to fly out, countless other jobs aren't like that and the candidate is traveling out of thier pocket -- which, by the way, is something people often have to do when they try to move to a new region for work. One idiot I know has flown out TWICE on his own dime for a position located in a city on the other side of the country because he thought he had a good shot from the phone interviews and, if he got the job, that it would pay more than well enough to justify the investment (needless to say, he didn't get either job). However, he wasn't the only idiot who I've known who took that risk. Some were smarter about it and lined up several interviews within the week and turned it into a mini-vacation where they met with employers but also saw the sights.

The reality is that, if you're looking for work in a new area, you're usually going to eat the costs associated with going to that area yourself. This is especially true if you're just out of college because *most* careers don't have a strong enough demand that employers are willing to fly out candidates. iirc, I think even a friend who interviewed for a medical position (she has a doctorate) was doing it out of pocket then writing it against her taxes as a business expense. I'm not 100% sure on that one because her partner was telling the story.
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Rockies posted...

I know plenty of people who have gotten jobs in a location where they don't currently live, but I've also heard that you're basically putting yourself at a disadvantage at the start to apply non-locally, since you're fighting an uphill battle against local candidates. I think it really just depends on what your career is and how you got the job.

tbh, which reminds me of an incident when I was fresh out of college and applying to a company more than an hour away, they didn't want to touch me because I wasn't a local candidate.

Rockies posted...

Smarkil posted...

What could you possibly have to lose by looking outside of your immediate area?

Waste of time/effort on places that aren't going to even give you a shot with your location.

Especially if it's far from your current location and they're not reimbursing travel. It's bad enough driving 90 minutes for an interview and realizing in the middle of the interview that the HR rep fucked up -- such as forgetting to list an essential job function on the listing (which has happened to me twice) or not realizing that the hiring manager had already made a decision (which happened to me during one of my first interviews out of college; I got done talking to the HR rep and she calls in to the hiring manager to tell him I'm ready to talk... only for the manager to mention that she was supposed to cancel my interview because he was going with somebody else) -- so the whole trip was a waste.
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mastermix3000 posted...

Wtf did I just read

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One time I drove like 40 minutes to an interview that lasted about 10 minutes. It seemed fishy to me at the time, but they didn't tell me until later that they just went with internal candidate for the position. I'm guessing that's the reason my interview was so short and that somebody must have fucked up