Board 8 > All-Purpose Wrestling Topic 419: Global Force Total Nonstop Impact Wrestling

(+) Yeah! (+)

"Sometimes you win some, sometimes you lose some. Unless you're Virgil, then you lose them all." - Bobby Heenan
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Jakyl25 posted...

Zack Ryder's girlfriend

Wants to marry Grado

Not anymore
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Jakyl25 posted...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DKA-eJNWAAIaDMj?format=jpg&name=large

Lol Starrcade

I actually like the throwback style bill
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I'm most excited about Ricky Seamboat. New talent?
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I can't wait for Booby Roode.
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Do we think they'll put this on the Network? As of now it's not.
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Jakyl25 posted...

Lopen posted...

Honestly I thought Ventura had his moments as well and was generally pretty good at it. And Johnny Polo (Raven for those who didn't watch any WWE in like 93-94, and I wouldn't blame you) was underrated in this role too, for what little time he did it.

I think Corey Graves has flashes of greatness, though I don't think he'll ever reach that level on anything remotely resembling a consistent basis. Not really his fault I think it's kinda impossible to do with the current product paradigm WWE has.

See these are the people I was excluding with the "over the top" qualifier.

None of these people were/are so comically heel that you can't take them seriously. Lawler was but not these guys. There was/is always a logic to their slants.

Hes better than Lawler but Lawler has patches of good.
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Lopen posted...

Punk was awesome. Not sure if he holds up on an A show where he can't just completely bury the product at all times though. He's also not really an over-the-top type either.

Though he was on Raw a few times in addition to the NXT Divas show no one cared about-- not sure if he did that there or not.

I can't remember the details of it at all but I remember thinking that Punk's handful of times doing commentary on Raw were pretty good
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I remember the Raw appearances as good I'm just not sure if it was for the wrong reasons or not.
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https://twitter.com/wrestlingbubble/status/909847922241671174

Our old pal The Masked Man is at it again with a lacking Heenan obit, only focusing on the parts of his career that are part of WWE's narrative of wrestling history
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I feel like the majority of The Masked Man's readerbase is only reading to determine how off target he'll be at this point.

I choose not to enable this by avoiding his articles completely
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Jakyl25 posted...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DKA-eJNWAAIaDMj?format=jpg&name=large

Lol Starrcade

Why is it lol? I actually like that card.
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LOL because they're using an old name to sell a house show
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In light of the topic Title

http://www.kayfabenews.com/new-merger-creates-global-total-impact-action-force-non-stop-anthem-wrestling/

The new name reflects a revamped ownership structure shared between multiple stakeholders: Jeff Jarrett (27 percent), Billy Corgan (31 percent), Jim Cornette (110 percent, he insists, but this seems dubious), an Owl (7 percent), and Scott Steiner (66 and 2/3rds percent).

Tapings of Global Impact Total Action Force Nonstop Wrestling Anthem Xplosion will be held in a Florida soundstage on the third Sunday following each full moon, then broadcast thrice-fortnightly on ZOINK TV, a network whose existence we are unable to confirm.

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Fuck that owl
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If we're talking good over the top heel color commentators, heel Don West was hilarious.
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it's gonna be GUUT
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So uhh reigns complained that cena has gone hollywood just like the rock and i feel the comparison is not the same and it bothers me so im writing about it on the internet.

Rock left for 8 years before coming back to do his match with cena? Cena was gone for like 3 months and he makes an effort to show his face unlike the rock.

Because of that rock was also going to be rusty and no chance for a good match. Theres a chance of a bad match with cena but hes still wrestling relatively regularly so its not like cena is so far gone he cant give a good match.

And hes not cashing in for his big match. This isnt wrestlemania. This is freaking no mercy.


A lesser point, but Rock gave, what, 7 years before leaving for good? Cena gave freaking 15 on the main roster.


Dammit reigns writers you just make him look salty and desperate for a comeback
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At least he didn't forget his lines this time. He's getting better?
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I heard Reigns said "shit" on live TV. Is this true
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It is, yeah. They beeped it (I think there's technically a 7 second delay or something?)
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Wait, they're rebranding TNA again!?

And they're moving from Florida to freaking Canada?

Good Lord.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

Wait, they're rebranding TNA again!?

And they're moving from Florida to freaking Canada?

Good Lord.

See topic title
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Speaking of rebranding, all the top funnymen at Whatculture Wrestling are leaving.

Presumably to start their own channel?
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Hopefully to be taught actual comedy.
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RaidenZeroX posted...

At least he didn't forget his lines this time. He's getting better?

I think what's truly funny is that Reigns couldn't one up Cena in a promo until Cena wasn't there to respond.

Anyway, pretty sure the card's set for No Mercy, unless they add a random preshow match at the very last minute, maybe even Curt Hawkins' losing streak continuing! >_>

Lesnar vs. BRAUN for Universal title
Cena vs. Reigns
Miz vs. Jordan for IC title
Rollins/Ambrose vs. Sheamus/Cesaro for Tag Titles
Alexa vs. Nia vs. Bayley vs. Sasha vs. Emma for Women's title
Neville vs. Enzo for Cruiserweight title
Wyatt vs. non-demon Balor

My picks: Lesnar, Reigns (via cheap heel tactics hopefully, otherwise the only other acceptable options are Cena winning clean to start a slow Reigns heel turn, or a no contest that leads to their inevitable rematch at TLC), Miz, 2/3 Shield, Bayley, Neville, and Balor
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Wyatt vs Balor is death. End this feud please.

Rest if the card looks solid I'll be getting the network for a month for it.
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But Bray needs to beat Balor to cast doubt on whether Balor can win without the demon or not so that Balor can beat him with the demon and then Bray can demand another rematch and Balor can win without the demon to prove zzzzzzzz
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I've heard this a couple of times, but Triple H basically wants Balor moved to Smackdown ASAP.
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Could we have Balor get arbitrarily, pointlessly destroyed by Braun first?

Man I never thought I'd let myself get lured onto the Strowman bandwagon but I have. Turns out there's a lot of dudes on Raw I like seeing get mowed down.
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Strowman only works on RAW though. I've thought about this extensively.
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braaaaaaaaaaaun should never have worked based on his wyatt tenure

but here we are, where he might be the best thing in the company
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Turns out if you book people to be strong and win a lot, and they pick up how to work the crowd, they get over

Wow
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Yeah but explain Asuka
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scarletspeed7 posted...

Strowman only works on RAW though. I've thought about this extensively.

Yeah that's why he needs to hurry up and destroy Balor before it's too late

He already got to Enzo before the cruiserweight division could take him forever out of reach
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I'm all for Balor being destroyed and rebuilding himself on Smackdown, leading to him facing Roode at Mania for the SmackDown WWE Title.

AJ/Nakamura
Roode/Balor
World's Greatest Tag Team/New Day
No Women's Title Match (Horsewomen)
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So like, is Wyatt actually over at all

Like I feel like even the people who were once with the dude are kinda sick of him at this point

I think I would've booked Goldust over him last week. Not because Goldust is more over, but I think Goldust with a win over Wyatt that signals "hey, maybe they're going to do something with Goldust" might be.
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I only have the attention span for one person whose name starts with Bra

And that's Braun

Braun is the best

Who is that other guy

Was he a member of the Strowman Family
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scarletspeed7 posted...

World's Greatest Tag Team/New Day

...do you want to bring back Haas?
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Lopen posted...

So like, is Wyatt actually over at all

Like I feel like even the people who were once with the dude are kinda sick of him at this point

I think I would've booked Goldust over him last week. Not because Goldust is more over, but I think Goldust with a win over Wyatt that signals "hey, maybe they're going to do something with Goldust" might be.

It's the entrance
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https://twitter.com/brandonthurston/status/910218416568410112

Neat attendance charts breaking down Cena vs Reigns vs Neither as house Show headliners when data exists from the same markets

Ontario loves the BIG DOG
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Jakyl25 posted...

scarletspeed7 posted...

World's Greatest Tag Team/New Day

...do you want to bring back Haas?

Isn't Haas' son teaming with Jordan now?
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Lopen posted...

So like, is Wyatt actually over at all

Like I feel like even the people who were once with the dude are kinda sick of him at this point

I think I would've booked Goldust over him last week. Not because Goldust is more over, but I think Goldust with a win over Wyatt that signals "hey, maybe they're going to do something with Goldust" might be.

I lost interest when he lost to Orton at Wrestlemania and continued as if nothing had changed, but I still pay attention to his segments on the off chance that he ever starts to matter again.

Having Wyatt lose to Goldust in the middle of feuding with Balor would be odd, to say the least
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Panthera posted...

Lopen posted...

So like, is Wyatt actually over at all

Like I feel like even the people who were once with the dude are kinda sick of him at this point

I think I would've booked Goldust over him last week. Not because Goldust is more over, but I think Goldust with a win over Wyatt that signals "hey, maybe they're going to do something with Goldust" might be.

I lost interest when he lost to Orton at Wrestlemania and continued as if nothing had changed, but I still pay attention to his segments on the off chance that he ever starts to matter again.

Having Wyatt lose to Goldust in the middle of feuding with Balor would be odd, to say the least

"You say I lost to Goldust... But what are we all, if not just dust? Dust clinging to bones, fooling us with a thing we call life. But I am a vacuum... The eater of dust! And soon, I will consume you until there is nothing left. No dust, no Demon... Just bones. Bones that will return to the Earth, to the very dust of others like you who have fallen short."
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No no no, it takes a while to downgrade all the way to Eater of Dust. He needs to be the Eater of Continents for a while, then the Eater of Islands. A few losses later he can eat some crumbs and then finally give up and go for dust.
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When is Bray vs. Ellsworth?

Eater of Worlds vs. Jobber to Girls
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Can he be the Eater of Phil's Lawn somewhere in there

Trust me, Phil's a jerk.
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scarletspeed7 posted...

When is Bray vs. Ellsworth?

Eater of Worlds vs. Jobber to Girls

If Ellsworth comes out with the women's MitB briefcase and calls himself Ms. Money in the Bank, does his opponent get DQed for hitting him and can he ride that all the way to the WWE Title
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I think Carmella is already riding it all the way to the title.
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carmella is riding the big hog to the title?
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