Current Events > Man shames woman on first date after she sent his car plate number to a friend

(+) Yeah! (+)

Darkman124 posted...

Balrog0 posted...

It didn't even occur to me that that would be the issue here. I, too, expect that someone is going to tell her friends where she is and who she's with before going out. I do the same thing!

the license plate thing is just f***in weird.

yeah, i think the framing of this enables people to be ticked off who normally would totally get the idea of a woman protecting herself before going on a date

We get the idea. The what is nit the problem, its the how.

You're misunderstanding me, Asherlee. I'm not saying that's the scenario. I'm saying that's the way Malevolent _Moon is representing the scenario in post #194

The people saying she was justified; what if the reason she did it was because he was black and not simply because he was a man. Is that justified and understandable or is that wrong and bigoted?
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Twinmold posted...

You don't take those kinds of measures unless you assume bad shit is going to happen.

Uhhhhh, what? Do you put your seatbelt on when you get in the car? Why? Do you assume you're going to get into an accident? Or are you just preparing for the worst, and hoping for the best? Do you try to hide the act of putting on your seatbelt so that you don't make your passengers think you're assuming you're going to crash?

The answer is no, because that's ridiculous. Just like getting personally offended at a benign precaution that has nothing to do with assumptions about somebody's person.

Im going to jump in on this one. I put on my seatbelt because I assume if I crash I will get seriously hurt or worse. I assume if a cop sees me, I will get a pretty little fine.

I see a few people making the logical leap of "person took precautionary measure therefore they ASSUMES the worst will happen"

And that just logically does not follow.
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asdf8562 posted...

Twinmold posted...

You don't take those kinds of measures unless you assume bad shit is going to happen.

Uhhhhh, what? Do you put your seatbelt on when you get in the car? Why? Do you assume you're going to get into an accident? Or are you just preparing for the worst, and hoping for the best? Do you try to hide the act of putting on your seatbelt so that you don't make your passengers think you're assuming you're going to crash?

The answer is no, because that's ridiculous. Just like getting personally offended at a benign precaution that has nothing to do with assumptions about somebody's person.

Im going to jump in on this one. I put on my seatbelt because I assume if I crash I will get seriously hurt or worse. I assume if a cop sees me, I will get a pretty little fine.

But you don't automatically assume that a crash is going to happen or that you will drive by a cop. It's a "just in case" measure
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Twinmold posted...

You don't take those kinds of measures unless you assume bad shit is going to happen.

Uhhhhh, what? Do you put your seatbelt on when you get in the car? Why? Do you assume you're going to get into an accident? Or are you just preparing for the worst, and hoping for the best? Do you try to hide the act of putting on your seatbelt so that you don't make your passengers think you're assuming you're going to crash?

The answer is no, because that's ridiculous. Just like getting personally offended at a benign precaution that has nothing to do with assumptions about somebody's person.

I put my seatbelt on because it's the LAW. Nothing to do with fear of being in an accident.

But you're not disproving my point either. Precautions are taken SPECFICALLY in case things go wrong.

And yeah it does. She assumes the guy has ill intent, why the fuck else would she do that? She wouldn't if she didn't think he did.

But we're going in circles here. My beef is the how, not the what.
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Wow, what a psycho. This coming from someone frequently labeled an SJW

Nomadic View posted...

The people saying she was justified; what if the reason she did it was because he was black and not simply because he was a man. Is that justified and understandable or is that wrong and bigoted?

And what if the man was an alien from another dimension who eats the kidneys of unsuspecting Earth women?

I put my seatbelt on because it's the LAW. Nothing to do with fear of being in an accident.

Uhhhhh, that speaks more about your intelligence than any point you're trying to make.

My beef is the how, not the what.

Yeah, if you think that's the impression you're giving, you're wrong.
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Nomadic View posted...

The people saying she was justified; what if the reason she did it was because he was black and not simply because he was a man. Is that justified and understandable or is that wrong and bigoted?

I don't think anyone is going to be able to legitimately answer that without jumping through some mental gymnastic hoops.

Him: Hey, why are you taking a photo of my license plate?
Her: It's just a precaution. You know...
Him: because I'm a man?
Her: No, because you're black.
Him: Oh, Ok, that's cool.
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Twin3Turbo posted...

I see a few people making the logical leap of "person took precautionary measure therefore they ASSUMES the worst will happen"

And that just logically does not follow.

I see a few people justifying a precaution regardless of how distasteful it was implemented. Ignoring the fact that people are not disgusted by what she did, but how she did it.

I understand why she did it and won't argue it. But it might make me question if she might have trust issues and if that could make a relationship less likely.
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Malevolent_Moon posted...

She assumes the guy has ill intent

This is literally an insane position to take. I already pointed this out.

If you assume something that means you find that it is probably true/probably going to happen.

You don't go on a date with someone whom you assume is going you molest you or otherwise harm you.

You need you learn what that word means.

Precaution is good and all, but what if she had an ulterior motive?
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asdf8562 posted...

I see a few people justifying a precaution regardless of how distasteful it was implemented.

It appears most people think it was a fair precaution to take.

asdf8562 posted...

Ignoring the fact that people are not disgusted by what she did, but how she did it.

That being said, people that are saying that she assumes he will do something bad go directly against this.
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Wedge Antilles posted...

But it might make me question if she might have trust issues and if that could make a relationship less likely.

Few people are going to trust you 100% after only knowing you for only a short period of time.
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A precaution that seems sensible, until you realize it's the same logic as hiding the silverware when "less reputable" company shows up. No relationship can form when you open it with "I don't trust you".
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Balrog0 posted...

like why are we focusing on the safety or security of the woman?

It didn't even occur to me that that would be the issue here. I, too, expect that someone is going to tell her friends where she is and who she's with before going out. I do the same thing!

the license plate thing is just fuckin weird.

what exactly will a license plate do?

shit if you want to frame it as precautions, then the same argument can be made from the guy's perspective that he is taking precautions as well by not going on the date. He doesn't know whats she is like mentally either.
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Twin3Turbo posted...

asdf8562 posted...

Twinmold posted...

You don't take those kinds of measures unless you assume bad shit is going to happen.

Uhhhhh, what? Do you put your seatbelt on when you get in the car? Why? Do you assume you're going to get into an accident? Or are you just preparing for the worst, and hoping for the best? Do you try to hide the act of putting on your seatbelt so that you don't make your passengers think you're assuming you're going to crash?

The answer is no, because that's ridiculous. Just like getting personally offended at a benign precaution that has nothing to do with assumptions about somebody's person.

Im going to jump in on this one. I put on my seatbelt because I assume if I crash I will get seriously hurt or worse. I assume if a cop sees me, I will get a pretty little fine.

But you don't automatically assume that a crash is going to happen or that you will drive by a cop. It's a "just in case" measure

No, I assume im going to crash or run by a cop. I put on a seatbelt ti cover my bases.

A thought line of precaution on some level assumes it will happen for many groups of people. A precaution is designed for a contigency when it happens. For example, I live and work in the DMV area and run passed cops all the time. Ergo, why I assume Im going to go passed a cop and why I wear my seatbelt.... they will pull you over. And with my luck, I will get caught.

I really don't see the issue here, especially if they met through online dating or something.

NibeIungsnarf posted...

Malevolent_Moon posted...

She assumes the guy has ill intent

This is literally an insane position to take. I already pointed this out.

If you assume something that means you find that it is probably true/probably going to happen.

You don't go on a date with someone whom you assume is going you molest you or otherwise harm you.

You need you learn what that word means.

It's not any less true here.

She wouldn't have done it if she was 100% he didn't have ill intent. The fact that she did proves she at least doubted him even just a little.

She assumed something bad COULD happen, but maybe she was more sure than unsure. I don't know, I wasn't there.
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Asherlee10 posted...

D3dr0_0 posted...

Precaution is good and all, but what if she had an ulterior motive?

Like what?

Can't you find where the person live if you use it and I don't know stalk them?
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Asherlee10 posted...

Xeno14 posted...

Balrog0 posted...

like why are we focusing on the safety or security of the woman?

It didn't even occur to me that that would be the issue here. I, too, expect that someone is going to tell her friends where she is and who she's with before going out. I do the same thing!

the license plate thing is just fuckin weird.

what exactly will a license plate do?

shit if you want to frame it as precautions, then the same argument can be made from the guy's perspective that he is taking precautions as well by not going on the date. He doesn't know whats she is like mentally either.

I don't think anyone is saying that he should have to go on the date with her if he feels uncomfortable. It is just as much a right to him to refuse the date.

plenty of people are. Look at twinmold calling him an asshole, the entire article is framed from the position of him shaming her, for what exactly though?
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asdf8562 posted...

No, I assume im going to crash or run by a cop. I put on a seatbelt ti cover my bases.

Sorry man but I simply am not going to believe this. No one gets in the car thinking "I'm def going to get in a car crash on this trip!". The seatbelt is a "just in case" measure and we all take many of those in simpler forms in relation to lots of things on a daily basis. Hell it's the whole concept of insurance.
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i first had something similar happen like 6 or 7 years ago. girl wanted to take a picture of my ID. I was like WTF, thinking this was some scam and she was trying to rip me off.

At the end of the day I let her take the picture after she explained, I'm 6'6" so I could straight up crush pretty much all the girls I date. I get there being a bit of apprehension, if this is what it takes for them to have fun and feel safe I get it.
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Asherlee10 posted...

D3dr0_0 posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

D3dr0_0 posted...

Precaution is good and all, but what if she had an ulterior motive?

Like what?

Can't you find where the person live if you use it and I don't know stalk them?

I could be wrong, but I think you need access to something like a police database or DMV database access. Most people aren't going to have that access.

However, if something did go wrong the girl she texted could give that plate number to the police to search for the vehicle.

Yeah I'm not exactly sure either and yeah that would be great to have in a worse case scenario.
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Twin3Turbo posted...

asdf8562 posted...

No, I assume im going to crash or run by a cop. I put on a seatbelt ti cover my bases.

Sorry man but I simply am not going to believe this. No one gets in the car thinking "I'm def going to get in a car crash on this trip!". The seatbelt is a "just in case" measure and we all take many of those in simpler forms in relation to lots of things on a daily basis. Hell it's the whole concept of insurance.

You dont have to believe it, nor do I care to convince at the end of the day. Fact of the matter is I do assume this and its not debatable if I assume this. I also stated why.

I only skimmed the article but in any situation this is a pretty silly move on her part.

If it was a tinder/online date for the first time, why on earth would you let ANY guy pick you up for the first date? Idc if you ran his plates, background checks, and everything else you never want to be picked up for a first online date. The usual way to go about it is say we'll meet at some place and then you see where it goes from there. Even if it wasn't a first date, why would you let someone pick you up if you still have those reservations about someone's character? Lastly, let's be realistic, if this guy was some serial killer I doubt having his license plate numbers is really going to hinder his plans.
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asdf8562 posted...

Twin3Turbo posted...

asdf8562 posted...

No, I assume im going to crash or run by a cop. I put on a seatbelt ti cover my bases.

Sorry man but I simply am not going to believe this. No one gets in the car thinking "I'm def going to get in a car crash on this trip!". The seatbelt is a "just in case" measure and we all take many of those in simpler forms in relation to lots of things on a daily basis. Hell it's the whole concept of insurance.

You dont have to believe it, nor do I care to convince at the end of the day. Fact of the matter is I do assume this and I stated why.

That probably makes you more paranoid than this girl but thats fine
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Twinmold posted...

Wow, a website filled with underachieving neckbeards who resent women, sides with man who ditched a woman over something small and harmless? Wow, this is so surprising.

How would you feel if someone basically told you, "You might be a rapist"?
That's how the guy felt. That's far from "something small and harmless."
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Twin3Turbo posted...

asdf8562 posted...

Twin3Turbo posted...

asdf8562 posted...

No, I assume im going to crash or run by a cop. I put on a seatbelt ti cover my bases.

Sorry man but I simply am not going to believe this. No one gets in the car thinking "I'm def going to get in a car crash on this trip!". The seatbelt is a "just in case" measure and we all take many of those in simpler forms in relation to lots of things on a daily basis. Hell it's the whole concept of insurance.

You dont have to believe it, nor do I care to convince at the end of the day. Fact of the matter is I do assume this and I stated why.

That probably makes you more paranoid than this girl but thats fine

Hardly, despite what I said above Im an aggresive driver.

My point is on some level I think prescautions are taken with the idea it will happen. For example Im not going to take precaution for a flying cow to fall from the sky, because on no level do I assume it will happen.

Lorenzo_2003 posted...

Nomadic View posted...

The people saying she was justified; what if the reason she did it was because he was black and not simply because he was a man. Is that justified and understandable or is that wrong and bigoted?

I don't think anyone is going to be able to legitimately answer that without jumping through some mental gymnastic hoops.

Him: Hey, why are you taking a photo of my license plate?
Her: It's just a precaution. You know...
Him: because I'm a man?
Her: No, because you're black.
Him: Oh, Ok, that's cool.

That's the point. If it's not ok to do it on the rationale that he's black why is it ok to do it on the rationale that he's male?
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Twinmold posted...

Nomadic View posted...

The people saying she was justified; what if the reason she did it was because he was black and not simply because he was a man. Is that justified and understandable or is that wrong and bigoted?

And what if the man was an alien from another dimension who eats the kidneys of unsuspecting Earth women?

I put my seatbelt on because it's the LAW. Nothing to do with fear of being in an accident.

Uhhhhh, that speaks more about your intelligence than any point you're trying to make.

My beef is the how, not the what.

Yeah, if you think that's the impression you're giving, you're wrong.

Because black people actually exist, and so does racism.
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How would you feel if someone basically told you, "You might be a rapist"?

I would take it in stride because I wouldn't let the fact that a woman took a small precaution in a world where men can and do rape women bother me. Because that's the thing, I understand it's not personal. I don't have some raging victim complex where generic precautions against strangers means an actual judgement of me.
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Banjo2553 posted...

How would you feel if someone basically told you, "You might be a rapist"?
That's how the guy felt. That's far from "something small and harmless."

I'd tell them it does no harm to me and to take what precautions until they're comfortable with me. Then again I'm not a thin skinned twit that can't think logically.
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DuranOfForcena posted...

Leanaunfurled posted...

I'd tell them it does no harm to me and to take what precautions until they're comfortable with me. Then again I'm not a thin skinned twit that can't think logically.

you're not a man, so you can't understand.

also everyone saying that men don't understand where the woman is coming from is being very very fucking hypocritical if they can't understand where the guy is coming from. this shit goes both ways.

Apparantly only the womans feeling matter. Let a guy do this and watch the very same people still jump on the guy.

asdf8562 posted...

DuranOfForcena posted...

Leanaunfurled posted...

I'd tell them it does no harm to me and to take what precautions until they're comfortable with me. Then again I'm not a thin skinned twit that can't think logically.

you're not a man, so you can't understand.

also everyone saying that men don't understand where the woman is coming from is being very very fucking hypocritical if they can't understand where the guy is coming from. this shit goes both ways.

Apparantly only the womans feeling matter. Let a guy do this and watch the very same people still jump on the guy.

This
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I didn't read 250+ replies but I assume the majority of people here would be totally fine with that. I dated a chick on Tinder and she wanted to send my plates to her mom, and I was like dude totally I have no problem with that.

Anyone who gets offended by something like this was probably planning on murdering you anyways, at which point you probably shouldn't go on said date.
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asdf8562 posted...

DuranOfForcena posted...

Leanaunfurled posted...

I'd tell them it does no harm to me and to take what precautions until they're comfortable with me. Then again I'm not a thin skinned twit that can't think logically.

you're not a man, so you can't understand.

also everyone saying that men don't understand where the woman is coming from is being very very fucking hypocritical if they can't understand where the guy is coming from. this shit goes both ways.

Apparantly only the womans feeling matter. Let a guy do this and watch the very same people still jump on the guy.

I can understand where the guy is coming from and all I can say is whine whine whine. Always on and on about how hard guys have it. Look at the unequal worries here: the woman worries about the chance that the guy may attack her or do something bad to her, the guy worries that the woman may *think* he *might* be unsafe or unstable. Physical pain vs hurt feelings. Poor guys.

If a guy takes a picture of a woman's license plate for his own safety the majority of people who make fun of him will be other guys.
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