Current Events > Man shames woman on first date after she sent his car plate number to a friend

(+) Yeah! (+)

The Great Muta 22 posted...

DuranOfForcena posted...

if i take a woman out on a date and one of the first things she does is assume i'm probably a rapist or violent criminal, the absolutely rational thing to do is to leave her ass on the curb.

Taking a picture of a license isn't making that assumption, though.

As it was said, plenty of women do this or other similar things when they go on dates. I know for a fact that many will text a friend before and after with things like location and such. It's not being paranoid, it's taking precautions, which is something plenty of people here ask women to do all the time.

No.

Plenty of women take actual logical steps to feel safe and get to know the dude. This isn't that.
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i'm saying i would be offended if a woman i took out on a date demonstrated that she thought i was probably a rapist or violent criminal.

Lol, the fact that several people here keep using this word, only backs up the argument that those who feel this was an insult really do have victim complexes. Again, putting on a seat belt does not mean you are probably going to get into a car accident. It means car accidents happen, and you're taking a simple, easy precaution. In the same way that putting on your seatbelt is not a message to your passengers that you intend to drive them off a cliff today.
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Umm Im not sure what to say?
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Lorenzo_2003 posted...

That_Happened posted...

Accurate. 70% of users here admitted in a poll to either suffering from a mental illness or at least thinking they had mental health issues but were undiagnosed. This isn't the place to discuss things like dating if you're looking for reasonable responses.

No, that's not how it works. You could say 70 percent of users who responded here admitted whatever, not that 70 percent of CE is represented. And a lot of people have been reasonable, you just don't like their comments. In fact, there have been several posters who have thrown around the typical misogynist, neckbeard insult, and now you're using an insult about mental illness.

I'm not using it as an insult. Just as a fact. And yes, your description of the poll is more accurate but the number of users who voted was in the hundreds, so I'm gonna say that's a pretty good sample size. Not precise, but definitely a good estimate.
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Balrog0 posted...

legendary_zell posted...

I don't think the license plate thing is weird at all. I would actually find it funny.

the way you're phrasing this makes it sound like something you haven't personally encountered

you haven't personally encountered it because it is atypical

i.e., weird

I haven't encountered this specific thing, mostly because I don't have a car. But I probably would have, considering the other things I've seen. None of which I took offense to. I have had women directly say they were telling their friends where we were or their friends were expecting them back at a certain time. Not too different, we went on to have a great date, no offense taken.
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I wonder how the woman would feel if he did the same thing.
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CanuckCowboy posted...

No.

Plenty of women take actual logical steps to feel safe and get to know the dude. This isn't that.

If she knows a police officer, for example having the guy's license plate is definitely a way to cover her bases. This isn't as illogical as you wish it was
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Howl posted...

I wonder how the woman would feel if he did the same thing.

Probably wouldn't give a fuck.
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MabusIncarnate posted...

iosifsvoboda posted...

If you aren't going to throw her body into a swamp why would you be mad about this

He was likely wanting to throw her body in a swamp by the end of the night.

If that was the plan it would probly be a stolen car buds.
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legendary_zell posted...

But I probably would have, considering the other things I've seen. None of which I took offense to. I have had women directly say they were telling their friends where we were or their friends were expecting them back at a certain time. Not too different, we went on to have a great date, no offense taken.

yes, me too, I already explained that

that is not weird

taking a picture of someone's license plate to run a background check on them for a date is

I guess if you disagree that's fine but its not about being "offended" by the concept of making sure you're safe. It's just gauche -- like farting in front of your date. Only I guess that's not fair to farting, which is normal and natural and everyone does
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This should not bother a person, she doesn't know him, hell I tell my friend when I am going out with someone new, women can be batshit crazy as well or trying to set you up on some false BS.

Both men and women need to protect themselves.
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It depends.

If they were already taking for a while and that was just a first date, I would of thought her actions weird.

Now, if they just met, she was being paranoid.

I would be upset by her judgement.

That_Happened posted...

CanuckCowboy posted...

No.

Plenty of women take actual logical steps to feel safe and get to know the dude. This isn't that.

If she knows a police officer, for example having the guy's license plate is definitely a way to cover her bases. This isn't as illogical as you wish it was

It is though because:

A- anyone planning a rape or murder is unlikely to use their own car.

B-its at best a "here's an arrow in the right direction for after I'm raped and/or dead".

C-if something awful did happen the fact she went out with that guy does not mean he was the only possible threat to her safety that existed that night.

D-it doesn't actually tell her a thing about the dude or ensure safety to any extent.

E-texting his name and picture to a friend would make infinitely more sense since this is the way she decided to go.
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DuranOfForcena posted...

i don't really take fucking kindly at all to the notion that any time a woman goes out with me, there is an automatic implication that rape just might happen. fuck that bullshit.

Weird that you would get so mad about this. Is it really that hard to empathize with women?
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CanuckCowboy posted...

A- anyone planning a rape or murder is unlikely to use their own car.

to be fair if her theoretical cop buddy runs the plates and texts her "this car is stolen" it'd be a good heads up to open the door and roll out at the next stoplight
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Darkman124 posted...

to be fair if her theoretical cop buddy runs the plates and texts her "this car is stolen" it'd be a good heads up to open the door and roll out at the next stoplight

True.

But if she literally was having a cop/pi/friend at the DMV run his plates I gotta say that's pretty invasive and definitely not a good start to a relationship.

I just more or less assumed it was a random friend just to make sure someone has details. Like I doubt anyone was checking that plate in advance... So I don't think that aspect necessarily applies.

Could be wrong of course.
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What a stupid fucking article. Dude was totally justified in ending the date.
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DuranOfForcena posted...

That_Happened posted...

DuranOfForcena posted...

i don't really take fucking kindly at all to the notion that any time a woman goes out with me, there is an automatic implication that rape just might happen. fuck that bullshit.

Weird that you would get so mad about this. Is it really that hard to empathize with women?

is it really that hard to empathize with an innocent man?

One who doesn't realize that the only person who knows for sure that he's innocent is him?

Yes, it's hard to empathize with a guy that out of touch with reality.
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That_Happened posted...

Yes, it's hard to empathize with a guy that out of touch with reality

Omg ending a date based on a bad first impression. How out of touch!

Lel
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Lmao this blew up.

Still don't get why she couldn't just check his Facebook or tell her friends where she was over text.

Instead she takes pics of his plate like a crazy stupid bitch. I've dated crazy girls who don't pull horse shit like that.

Learn fucking social skills or get off tinder or whatever.
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Balrog0 posted...

legendary_zell posted...

But I probably would have, considering the other things I've seen. None of which I took offense to. I have had women directly say they were telling their friends where we were or their friends were expecting them back at a certain time. Not too different, we went on to have a great date, no offense taken.

yes, me too, I already explained that

that is not weird

taking a picture of someone's license plate to run a background check on them for a date is

I guess if you disagree that's fine but its not about being "offended" by the concept of making sure you're safe. It's just gauche -- like farting in front of your date. Only I guess that's not fair to farting, which is normal and natural and everyone does

I'm not understanding the strong distinction you're drawing here. She's still making what some perceive as a direct implication that you're dangerous. What extra element is taking the picture adding and how is it comparable to farting?
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That_Happened posted...

Yes, it's hard to empathize with a guy that out of touch with reality.

>Goes on date
>Girl gives first impression: I wanna take a pic of your license plate in case you assault me
>Ends date immediately
>Is out of touch with reality

????

Why is this rhetoric so violent against a dude who jsut didn't want to go on a date with a girl whose first act was to put the idea of him as a potential sexual assaulter in his mind?

CanuckCowboy posted...

True.

But if she literally was having a cop/pi/friend at the DMV run his plates I gotta say that's pretty invasive and definitely not a good start to a relationship.

I just more or less assumed it was a random friend just to make sure someone has details. Like I doubt anyone was checking that plate in advance... So I don't think that aspect necessarily applies.

Could be wrong of course.

i agree. the best approach is to tell a friend where you're going

when i lived in the city near nightlife i'd often have my dates come to my apt for 5 sec to just drop any stuff off they wanted to bring but not have on them at the location, and so they could see that i kept a clean house. also helped them out in feeling safer--i knew theyd be telling a friend where they were going and no info is more useful than my exact address.

the safety dance is a lot less insulting to a guy when he's contributing to it.

plus, it made them feel more open to coming back to my place after any really good dates.
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DuranOfForcena posted...

That_Happened posted...

One who doesn't realize that the only person who knows for sure that he's innocent is him?

got it, so you think all women should automatically assume that all men are guilty until proven otherwise

glad we're clear on what a fucking joke of a human being you are

Speaking of jokes, look at your response.

What I think is that all people should assume that at some (or many) point in their lives they're going to go on a date with an unstable person, and I have no problem with anyone taking precautions to avoid harm.

Meanwhile, your jaded ass is irrationally taking this as a personal affront. "How dare they think that I, DuranofForcena, is a dangerous person! Why, everybody knows me! I'm as harmless as a fly! Why wouldn't EVERYONE trust me completely the moment they met me?"
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That_Happened posted...

I have no problem with anyone taking precautions to avoid harm

Why not take one that actually makes sense though?

Like getting to know the dude in public places or with friends before being alone in a car with him. It can't possibly be seen as offensive by anyone who's not insane and it's, you know, actually practically sound.
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Darkman124 posted...

the safety dance is a lot less insulting to a guy when he's contributing to it.

Exactly.

There are just so many more sensible and less potentially offensive options that her go to seems absurd to me.
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Twinmold posted...

Like I said, expecting CE to react rationally to a debate about women's issues, is like expecting a starving wild dog to behave with grace around the presence of a fresh steak. This place has long been a haven for bitter misogynists to vent their frustrations.

CE will deny it, because like many things, they want to espouse the views of an ideology, without any of the reprisal that comes from openly standing behind such offensive rhetoric.

That argument can be flipped back to sender with the white knighting. Theres a difference in defending woman and just defending anything ans everything a woman does simply because shes a woman. Yet flop a situation and you still sids with the woman. Regardless the sitation, regardless if you flop the situation, the woman is right and the man is wrong. Especially when you ignore its not what she did but how. Flip the script and the man wojld still be marked as wrong and possibly a creep.

This is one of those cases.

Guys don't argue with CEgals.

People like Ash and Harpie are nice but they're pretty much the online version of you guys. Socially awkward with low dating experience.

Normal women don't do stupid thing like this. The guy was right to toss her ass aside. Pathetic display. My female friend who considers herself feminist would find this pathetic and she's pretty tumbluruy.
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daftpunk_mk5 posted...

What a stupid fucking article. Dude was totally justified in ending the date.

He sure was, just as we're justified in calling him an insecure fuckboy, because those are the only type of people who'd cancel a date over this.

Bright side is that lady didn't have to waste her time
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CanuckCowboy posted...

That_Happened posted...

I have no problem with anyone taking precautions to avoid harm

Why not take one that actually makes sense though?

Like getting to know the dude in public places or with friends before being alone in a car with him. It can't possibly be seen as offensive by anyone who's not insane and it's, you know, actually practically sound.

If this act was irrelevant and useless then there's no reason for the guy to get upset. None of us knows the details of the date so it's impossible to say why she didn't meet him with friends first, or in public first. For example, maybe they were going to a concert for their first date, which is something that cannot be delayed or rescheduled.
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All your posts have been lol worthy so if the shoe fits boo boo...
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Soggy_Burger posted...

People like Ash and Harpie are nice but they're pretty much the online version of you guys. Socially awkward with low dating experience.

I've seen asherlee's stories. She's not how you describe her. I don't know anything about Harpie though. Maybe you're right about that one?
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legendary_zell posted...

I'm not understanding the strong distinction you're drawing here

yeah I know you aren't, I literally said you didn't understand


legendary_zell posted...

She's still making what some perceive as a direct implication that you're dangerous. What extra element is taking the picture adding and how is it comparable to farting?

the fact that it's an action that is atypical and being performed at the beginning of a particular social setting, without any real pay off unless she is taking even more actions behind the scenes that are even more atypical, is what makes it like a fart. it's normal to take some precautions before a date. taking a picture of your date's license plate simply isn't one of those precautions. and it isn't likely to accomplish anything unless you are in communication with the police, which is more than just precautionary

But it's really not like a fart, since like I said, farts are normal for everyone to do. the reason I'm comparing it to a fart is that you are narrowly focusing on what the action "means" but I think it's less about the meaning behind the actions and more about the action itself.

a fart has no inherent meaning so I thought that comparing it to something that is obviously ok (ethically, morally, whatever, like a fart) but obviously not ok in a certain situation (like farting on a first date) might make you think about it in those terms rather than about safety or security.

the implication of danger is literally irrelevant to what I'm saying to you.
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DuranOfForcena posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

It EXISTS because of people with poor attitudes and misguided views. Just like what you are displaying. You are part of the problem.

my views aren't misguided.

Should every potential date trust you implicitly the moment they meet you?
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