Board 8 > ~*~*~Board 8 Presents: Three Words At A Time, The Jack Sparrow Hat Story~*~*~

(+) Yeah! (+)

Welcome one, welcome all, to the stupidest thing you'll ever read. I've tagged everyone who participated so that you can be ashamed of your words and deeds. I've also tagged Anagram, because I felt like it. Relive the magic. Own all 500 unforgettable posts on Blu Ray and DVD today.

For optimum enjoyment, we strongly recommend listening to "Someday the Dream Will End" from the hit vidya Final Fantasy X.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xRCjjiTR7I

Lame Joke Alt ate an Animal Man comic book issue number one by Grant Morrison which he found in SHINE’s locker at his old girlfriend’s house. He bit his old girlfriend in the Jack Sparrow hat after bedazzling it. This angered the Jack Sparrow hat greatly, so LJA got face bees to fight heel, progressively getting stronger in order to defeat the purple Hulk Hogan clone. Jack Sparrow hats grew multiple dicks: Cheney, York, and Dick van Dike and also penises.

In other news, LJA started sucking Jack Sparrow hats while paramore twitter tweeted “Fake News” like a moron at Bill Nye. Bill Nye responded “inertia is a social construct. We hate hylian knight. Everybody dance now!”

But enough about that nerd. Who left the toilet unlocked when demons Burst through the pipes. And then hollered about Glazunov. Glasnost and Perestroika, along with the Three Stooges and Shemp, decided to sell their plasma colleagues to Giovanni because sandwiches are devoid of plasma. But then Cyrus filmed his own pokemon breeding together in a Jack Daniels induced moment in front of the Serbian Embassy. Then, Tiberius Beekiller, a very renowned beelieber in aliens, interpreted the film and claimed it was as good as Tornadolayzers Singalong Blog. It was.

Then the evil ones got their broccoli dipped in blood from an old copy of Xenogears which had donated blood somehow. It sought the golden fleece powered by a black hole That killed hylian. Tiberius swore revenge and also cookies.

Meanwhile, far away, the waffle did the Belgian Waltz. When Zeus looked at the waffle, it transformed into his wife, Hera, a fierce dictator who once stabbed the spleen of Tzar Nicholas II with a trident. So Zeus called her a bitch for deleting posts and not even having the courtesy to acknowledge it. Then Zeus made her eat his barbecue ribs. She exclaimed, “Golly! Those were burnt! Choking back tears is not okay!” The Rib God, however, loved Hera and Tiberius Beekiller ate so many.

Then the simplest Jack Sparrow hat possessed Chain Chomp BowWow and ate like a fool at Bowser’s feast of roasted koopas crisped to perfection horrifying Bowser Jr who was not a fan of This kinda stuff meaning Koopa cannibalism broke the Geneva Convention, so Peach sent Toad as her personal enforcer of justice.


@whoa @Espeon @ninkendo @Snake5555555555 @hylianknight3 @Zachnorn @Ashethan @Menji @Xeybozn @Johnbobb
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Spiderman poured milk first but then realized fine chunky milk He then vomited a Jack Sparrow hat, always hat always Jack Sparrow. Grant Morrison proceeded to make some strange guest appearance. on The Soup stuff happened. But the future refused to give change for a dollar.

Sometimes, I pull on it and it goes boom MMmmmmmmMMMMMM, I said hush little baby don’t you cry Santa Claus is going to die. And if that Jack Sparrow hat cracks the sky I’m gonna eat and wonder why!” Enough lullaby nonsense will make anyone want to wear a Jack Sparrow skin suit tightly enough to asphyxiate stalwart sailors,n savvy?

“Oy vey!”, cried General Sergei Gurlukovich, declaring martial law. “Metal Gear?!” said Some guy from the Bronx, in the police force that TimJab loved so dearly and the Great Mission that Bronxite was actually Jeff Zero piloting a fantastic ROAD ROLLA! Then Jeff Zero pranced out of nowhere into our hearts singing like Olivier and wearing a Scottish kilt. He imbibed copious amounts of Jack Sparrow Hat juice, then The New Super Man went crazy, suplexing the legendary Tiberius Beekiller.

So this is a thing that happened the other night behind the dumpster of the Arby’s Han Solo shot first with Nerf guns. Without warning returned Douglas MacArthur, that man of mystery champion of right handed people who had right about the moon being a fictitious conspiracy to bring down the Patriots. Picard devised a plan, involving a herring, a sandwich and Stan Smith’s sperm, which combined to whales. Using these, he picked sperm, (from Jack Sparrow), Thus, Jack’s hat brought him to Davy Jones’s locker. Inside, he found some porn magazines. and a Russian hooker pee tape providing critical mission intelligence for the key lime pie.

...did this have anything to do with the Durango topic? lol

No, laughed the person who didn’t eat sliced bread like goddamn commies. “Commies?” Said Putin while confirming Pun’s too-long post.

Suddenly, the elves brought the hammer and the chain and the noise which woke the sleeping kitty cat ushering hellfire. Colombo, smoking his cigar scrutinized the scene and shook his Jack Sparrow hat and killed hylian.

Heroes never die but miracles are void in Nebraska and scabies is plentiful in the land of Hyrule, as plentiful as the dangling dinglebops IN AMERICA. Then a fell wind blew hylianknight towards the Shienar Kingdom, where he was killed again by roving packs of flesh-eating mushrooms like whoa.

Anagram made a poll but forgot to include option “crazyisgood”, the silly heifer. Ashamed, Anagram decided to build Ultron, who built another Ultron, who built another Ultron, who built another Ultron, who wore a Jack Knight leather jacket emblazoned with hats. One bold hat summoned a gigantic Ultron, who attacked another gigantic Ultron wearing Jack Sparrow’s hat atop his Jack Sparrow hat.

And thus, bees not the bees! Yes, the bees, always the bees, stung everybody’s eyeballs except Tiberius Beekiller. Tiberius Beekiller’s cancer was terminal and that is sad. What isn’t sad is deez nuts haha got ‘em yelled an ecstatic Snake5555555555 as he pulled so hard he ripped the space/time continuum.

“illuminatus,” bubu said gazing into the petri dish Maria chastised poor bubu. My tauntaun froze time so it could drop a temporal glacier on Jack sparrows hat Screaming “Muda Muda!” Man, this gets repetitive before long but, we must persevere, for the sake of Paul.

But wait, there’s more! Act now and you’ll receive Jack Sparrow hats for only 7 dollars even. But chickens and some dolphins are allergic to fish. Sad!

@Lolo_Guru @HanOfTheNekos @kateee @swirIdude @woodman @Forceful_Dragon @PumpkinCoach @Emeraldegg @Hardcore_Adult @monolith_blue
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But not as woeful as wiggling I need scissors! 61 to the peanutbutter red dirt slasher coming to a theater near you, this summer of love. Aardvarks are an annoying source of protein except for Cerberus who is not very kid-friendly but nobody’s perfect. Meanwhile Perfect Steve found a clue in Grant morrison’s Cerebus Syndrome page that said “Yo don’t do drugs unless it’s meth made by Heisenberg using linear algebra in zero gravity while camping outside the Great Wall of Swiss Cheese but Solid Snake and Don Flamenco and Tiberius Beekiller and Blue Meanie Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi the Genie plus Jay Solano all decided to eat the Wall, seasoning it with cumen, chili powder, nutmeg, cilantro, gravy, and MSG aplenty and plenty more but the future refused to chachacha but it waltzed. It continued waltzing. It waltzed more. Waltzing is fun. Too much fun. Waltzing can kill. But can it do this? *puts left foot in your mouth LMAO* haha get rekt this kinky shit is my jam. Jammed right up that leopard’s nose.

Author’s note: it is at around this point I presume Grant morrison’s Cerebus Syndrome page concludes, but I cannot be 100% certain as the quotations never properly wrap.

Ya’ll crazy, said.. Charles Manson, who did a jig on Ultron’s grave only to be come another Ultron “Whoa, heavy shit” said Wolverine as he tenderly touched a stray Raccoon named Rocket, lovingly and got arrested. But he escaped because Rocket Raccoon Had always wanted someone to care for his plants. Groot never did nothing wrong by giving Rocket the paramore twitter boobs with Jack Sparrow’s actor snorting a line of coke zero vanilla.

Honestly, how does that Luster do it?

Hakuna Matata, Hakuna Matata, Hakuna Matata y gringos empanada.

But here I am, rock you sit broken hearted on this lonely rock, deserted and littered with Jack Daniels bottles and E.T. cartridges galore. I am not a crook, but I play one on tv. Then Koopa’s doom ships Ripped the skin. Then I said “Ow, my skin!” “It’s raining men!” Hallelujah, it’s raining Jack Sparrow hats!

Butter the floor said Jeff, who buttered the floor before whipping out a 29 y/o heifer to put milk before the cereal and destroy the fabric of reality and it’s daughter. Everything was destroyed or was it Yes it was

“To 500!” Said Christopher Columbus, longingly as he sailed the buttered seas that never freeze and never boil unlike emerald eggs laid by golden platypi. Those eggs made kirby rich in back fat but poor in character, supported by the rains down in Africa, and in our hearts. Jimmy crack corn on the cob in GoldenEye, pwning the ghost of an angry TimJab who’s always angry but not at white people, who according to him taste like chicken twitter casserole.

Almost three years later this story was finished, but we archived it for no fucking reason. 10 more posts until we’re free. Yet the memories of when I posted three words at a time are so dumb. Lame Joke Alt and a Vulcan in a bar curing world peace.

@BowserCuffs @Vengeful_KBM @Raka_Putra @MZero11 @Punnyz @MrGreenonion @LOLIAmAnAlt @Grand_Kirby @Cavedweller2000 @OliviaTremor
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~*~FIN~*~

@JONALEON1 @imthestuntman @bng_mmmk @5tarscream @Anagram
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BEautiful , I say as a single Manly tears rolls DOwn my (cheek)

I can HOnk off to This !
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I was actually going to make this topic too, but I would not have thought to add music and a poll. Well done. I doff my Jack Sparrow hat to you.
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This is everything I hoped it would be.

And then some.

And then some more.

And then even more.
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I just read this all over again, and man, is it beautiful. I know who's following Bob Dylan as the winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature!
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Pure genius. We done good
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(finsihes story, closing Book and NOdding sagely) that was Shit . . . good ass SHit

+1
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This will be remembered in the annals of history.
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I'm really glad I decided to make a whole one post in contribution. Got my name in the books.
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Quinton you beautiful hero.
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Big fan of Tiberius Beekiller and Ultron
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This is lovely and we should immortalize it in a B8 Wikia page.
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Raka_Putra posted...

This is lovely and we should immortalize it in a B8 Wikia page.

It will be done.
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So let it be posted, so let it be done.
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We should have nominations then do a save my favorite sentence or something.
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lmao. I dig it.
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haha that would be lit
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I am glad I contributed to this masterpiece.
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I think maybe I'll record myself reading this epic ode too. We really need maximum immortalization. Which is a word now.
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One Last Bump
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More like, to 500!
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As I was reading this I kept thinking "man I need to pause and quote this line and lol about it" but then I'd read like 3 more lines and think the same thing. Over and over.

This guy said it best.

BowserCuffs posted...

This is everything I hoped it would be.

And then some.

And then some more.

And then even more.

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too many good sentences, truly indicative of a noble hivemind
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Jeff Zero posted...

I think maybe I'll record myself reading this epic ode too. We really need maximum immortalization. Which is a word now.

This needs to happen.
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Never forget.
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Final bump
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bng_mmmk posted...

More like, to 500!

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Dunno about that.
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Y'all really want that recording!
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who built another Ultron
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who built another Ultron
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Jeff Zero posted...

Y'all really want that recording!

It's true. I do want it.
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