Current Events > Why are young men dropping out of society?

(+) Yeah! (+)

JerickoX posted...

Questionmarktarius posted...

JerickoX posted...

ChrisHanson24 posted...

ssj-kenobi posted...

Is it because they don't want to contribute or because they can't contribute? Is it porn? Video games? Movies? Internet? Welfare? Is it purely a social phenomenon or is there actually something genetic/biological that makes them behave this way? Maybe something about their upbringing? Should something be done about it, and if yes, what?

what is there to contribute when wendy's has announced they're replacing their employees with a kiosk?

And robots to flip burgers.

There's substantial labor shortages in agriculture and construction.
http://rermag.com/headline-news/construction-employment-increases-despite-continuing-labor-shortage
https://sanbenito.com/2017/03/28/labor-shortage-farms-leaves-industry-scrambling/

This is because most people are not trained to do either construction or agriculture. Besides, most construction workers go in the backdoor. It's rigrous, backbreaking work that leaves you in pain. Also, most construction jobs correlate to alcoholism.

also when was the last time u saw a construction or agriculture job posted online I've never seen one

Questionmarktarius posted...

What's the point of travel, anyway? Everywhere is pretty much the same as everywhere else, give or take weather and the buildings.

Change of scenery. I live in a desert. Places with green look wonderful to me. Bodies of water are always fun.

Culture too. When you visit a culture completely outside of your own, everything looks "new". The food is different. You're just exposed to different ways of living. It leaves you with a feeling of different perspective.

Everywhere also has their own things to do. I zip-lined in Costa Rica because rarely can you see such deep and lush forests from such an aerial view, and then saw a volcano. I visited the street markets in Thailand and took a motorcycle trip up and down a mountain with hundreds of hairpin turns because it was fun.

These are things I couldn't do where I live. Admittedly, if your idea of traveling is just "seeing" the one sight all tourists inevitably go see at any location, of course it's boring. Or if your idea is just traveling to another nearby U.S. city.

Traveling requires a mindset. You gotta get lost in the area you're going to, to immerse yourself more than the "pre-packed" experience.
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Questionmarktarius posted...

What's the point of travel, anyway? Everywhere is pretty much the same as everywhere else, give or take weather and the buildings.

I legitimately feel pity for you.
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Esrac posted...

TL,DR: Social changes over the decades have left men with unique challenges and we haven't had an effective social movement to address those yet.

You are right and its a problem only a few people have been willing to challenge. Its a double standard too as everyone cheers female and transgender movements but anything beyond a local mens primary movement is seen as sexist and pressured to become universal.

Another factor is the media. Women have struggled for years because of the accelerating standards of physical beauty but it also applies to men as well. The problem is, unlike women, men have always been judged to a higher standard than women. As long a woman is not grossly unattractive, finding partners isn't difficult (good partners is a different conversation). Thats because men heavily factor in physical traits early on (to the exclusion of most other traits short term).

Women tend to factor in the whole person (because they are subconsciously evaluating father/genetic potential, even for casual encounters). In the media, everyone is framed as tall (even if its just hollywood magic), in great shape, with a lucrative, high paying career, intelligent, socially fluent, popular etc... so expectations in all of those rise. Of course saying they only date 6'+ doctors with six packs is an exaggeration. The problem is that what is consider an average body is higher, what it takes to have an average career is more difficult, what is considered a more noteworthy date is higher/more expensive and with things like video games, your alternatives to normal socializing are better/more viable than ever.

Thats why rejection from women hurts (some) guys so much, because much more than the reverse, it is a relatively accurate assessment of your worth than the reverse (which is a hot or not contest). And rather than helping guys get better to form these skills and get better (which involves hard work), you get guys telling them to suck it up and get better and women/feminists telling them that they are the patriarchy, privileged and that they don't actually have problems/their problems aren't valid. Without help, fewer males are going to change their diet/exercise/sleep/work habits/social skills etc... rather than play games and watch porn.
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Because they're getting screwed by everything from education to no fault divorces.

Teen Girl Squad posted...

Esrac posted...

TL,DR: Social changes over the decades have left men with unique challenges and we haven't had an effective social movement to address those yet.

You are right and its a problem only a few people have been willing to challenge. Its a double standard too as everyone cheers female and transgender movements but anything beyond a local mens primary movement is seen as sexist and pressured to become universal.

Another factor is the media. Women have struggled for years because of the accelerating standards of physical beauty but it also applies to men as well. The problem is, unlike women, men have always been judged to a higher standard than women. As long a woman is not grossly unattractive, finding partners isn't difficult (good partners is a different conversation). Thats because men heavily factor in physical traits early on (to the exclusion of most other traits short term).

Women tend to factor in the whole person (because they are subconsciously evaluating father/genetic potential, even for casual encounters). In the media, everyone is framed as tall (even if its just hollywood magic), in great shape, with a lucrative, high paying career, intelligent, socially fluent, popular etc... so expectations in all of those rise. Of course saying they only date 6'+ doctors with six packs is an exaggeration. The problem is that what is consider an average body is higher, what it takes to have an average career is more difficult, what is considered a more noteworthy date is higher/more expensive and with things like video games, your alternatives to normal socializing are better/more viable than ever.

Thats why rejection from women hurts (some) guys so much, because much more than the reverse, it is a relatively accurate assessment of your worth than the reverse (which is a hot or not contest). And rather than helping guys get better to form these skills and get better (which involves hard work), you get guys telling them to suck it up and get better and women/feminists telling them that they are the patriarchy, privileged and that they don't actually have problems/their problems aren't valid. Without help, fewer males are going to change their diet/exercise/sleep/work habits/social skills etc... rather than play games and watch porn.

Good post.

I'm pretty late to the party in this thread.... lots of good posts and lots of neckbeard posts itt (hint: it's the white knight ones, calling people misogynists instead of providing valid arguments disproving what that misogynist/neckbeard/cuck said).

Physician Assistant is a good job in this day and age for all reasons mentioned. Had a roommate who did that and seemed to enjoy life.

But yes biggest problem is that a bachelor's degree doesn't promise anything more than minimum wage and opens doors for 30k jobs when students are essentially lied to and told they have 40-60k waiting for them 4 years later.

Cost of living is expensive af unless you live in a trailer in most states. Inb4 don't live in San Francisco.

Destruction of the family unit leads to a huge population of people with piss poor coping skills and lack of good role models with boys and a typical "I don't need no man, I can slut around" attitude with girls. It's just plain bad for society.

Take away message is lots of social problems and it is harder for people to make it on their own with respectable careers than it was in the past despite having a college degree. Result is a lot of people get a case of the "fuck it"s when there's a perception of hopelessness.
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Because you get as much sitting in your basement playing games as you would sitting in a cubicle.


Because we have evolved emotionally and technologically past the need for every able-body to contribute;

This economy can fuction with about 1/100 of the population actually working full time.
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The problem is this, double standards.

Woman drop traditional roles= Empowered
Men drop their roles=Lazy bums

So what if they're playing video games as long as they contribute to their household even if it's their parents it's nobodies elses business but there own.

It's not that women are fucking men off. It's the "Be a man and get the hell over it!" attitude.

Years of Clinton, Bush and Obama caused this.

Young Men are why young men are dropping out of society. Very poor Male role models/leaders and irresponsible dads. Emasculated males and white knights who allow and permit women to act out of line, destroying relationships, destroying the family unit and creating divorce.

Young men simply do not know how to exercise authority over their lives, and women, so they withdraw from it.
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I also think it's a lack of male role models as others have mentioned. The K-12 education system in America is mainly run by females. Speaking for my own experiences only, doing well in school and stuff was considered much more socially acceptable for females than it was for males. It was seen as uncool for a lot of males, unless you were one of the "popular for being smart kids" (who were mostly Asian), you kind of took flak for showing any genuine interest in learning.
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This topic makes me thankful for my job lol.
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because dumb taxpayers fund our superior NEET lifestyle
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Sativa_Rose posted...

I also think it's a lack of male role models as others have mentioned. The K-12 education system in America is mainly run by females. Speaking for my own experiences only, doing well in school and stuff was considered much more socially acceptable for females than it was for males. It was seen as uncool for a lot of males, unless you were one of the "popular for being smart kids" (who were mostly Asian), you kind of took flak for showing any genuine interest in learning.

I believe this as well. There's a weird "failing is funny and cool and awesome!" thing that goes along with men for some reason, usually the most popular guys flaunted how dumb they were. It's amazing to me, too, at 32, how guys around my age absolutely loathe any kind of reading, whether it be fiction or non-fiction. Some of my greatest progress as a person has come from reading self-help books.

Also think video games and porn are big culprits (though I love both). Video games essentially fulfill that job role, giving you unlimited tasks to complete and actually achieving things instead of feeling like a hamster on a wheel grinding for another paycheck that will go to bills. Pornography is also instant sexual gratification for any desire you may have. With video games replacing fulfilling work and pornography taking over sexuality, I think many men are just living without a purpose.

_Goggalor_ posted...

Marriage is a fucking nightmare for men. Why would you ever want to risk it for some ass?

Minus the bit of sexism, I agree with this.
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JerickoX posted...

Esrac posted...

I've said before that this is an unintended consequence of the successes of feminism.

No, I don't mean that in a "feminists are trying to sabotage men" kind of neckbeardy way. I mean that actions, even well intended, often have unforeseen consequences.

For better or worse, traditional gender roles had a purpose and they were rather effective. I say this because, if you want to get a man to work and sacrifice for productivity, you need to give him an effective purpose and motive. There was a time when that was because he had to provide for his wife and children. When gender roles have diminished, there's a lot less drive compelling men to work tough jobs to provide for a family they might not necessarily have.

Compounding that is the expanded labor pool by women increasingly participating, which, I suspect, reduces the value of employees. That is, when you have potentially twice as many employee options for employers after the other half of the population enters the workforce, employers have less motive to keep wages and benefits decent.

On top of that, there is virtually no socially conscious movement to get boys and men involved. No social movement to improve boys' completetion of high school or participation in secondary school. And, perhaps worse, when men do speak up on the struggles boys and young men have regarding education, they are met with a combination of mockery, hostility, and dismissal by social activists. It's more difficult to gather social support for the issues uniquely effecting men and boys than girls. Men are expected to take responsibility for themselves and their outcomes in a way that makes it difficult to rally as a group.

Not that men tend to be inclined to think of themselves as a cohesive social group in the first place.

I'm sure there's more to it, but that's my limited observation.

TL,DR: Social changes over the decades have left men with unique challenges and we haven't had an effective social movement to address those yet.

I agree with everything you said, except that feminism is indeed trying to sabatoge men. It's not "neckbeard" to look at reality, and say "ah." Some female managers deliberately hire women in spite of men, because they think men are lazy.

Feminism created the man's dependence on wives, gfs, and single mothers in the first place.

Eh...in some ways, perhaps so.

There is certainly a degree of hostility and pushback from feminists when people try to discuss men's issues outside of feminism's narrow, usually classist framework.

If I recall, in the US, there is exactly one men's domestic abuse shelter and it's in Arkansas. Compared to the many shelters for women. And, wouldn't you know it, we can find a feminist article written to lambast it as a waste of resources. Even if men do make up a notable percentage of domestic violence victims, giving them even one shelter in the entire nation is too much ground to give because women are the victims more often.

Other occurrences are things like trying to shut down or otherwise disrupte discussions of men's issues through humiliation and intimidation. Especially when they happen on a university campus, where protesters can gather to accuse people of being all kinds of horrible things. Or they can pull fire alarms.

You can look at people like film maker Cassie Jaye who recently disavowed her feminism because of how other feminists treated her and her work after she made a documentary that involved having a real discussion with MRAs. You can see how progressive feminists are turning on YouTuber Laci Greene.

I don't know if I'd say feminists actively sabotage men's issues, but there is a degree of hostility from them more than I'd like to see.
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I feel really old referencing this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viIl2vEk6s4

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin can openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life . . . But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?

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The real question is why should men contribute to society? What incentives are there to struggle beyond minimal means to support oneself and a low maintenance lifestyle?

Respect? Love? Status?

To expect or demand any of these from your efforts makes one entitled, misogynistic or an otherwise horrible person according to the contemporary lexicon, and no logical person cares to work for a payday that may or may not come.
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clearaflagrantj posted...

Darkman124 posted...

some men learned to adjust and found that there are other ways to get respect and sex that are not socialized into us (physical fitness and grooming)

Not everybody is 6' with an attractive face and a well paying job. 80/20 rule, 80% of women have sex with only the top 20% of men, and within that 20% subset 4% are having sex with the top 96% of women.

The tables turn quick at 30+ when women realize their looks are fading as if they gazed into the lost Ark and their eggs are disappearing fast. Then it's time to settle down with the beta and get married.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFoC3TR5rzI
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****ty parents probably figure in there somehow, though it's obviously not the case for every misfortuned single male. You'd be daft to think one's pursuit of happiness isn't strongly tied to how considerate your kin is (parents in particular).

Many people in this thread need to go out and get ****ing laid already LOL

Esrac posted...

If I recall, in the US, there is exactly one men's domestic abuse shelter and it's in Arkansas.

I know the guy who started that. We had a class together.
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Balrog0 posted...

Esrac posted...

If I recall, in the US, there is exactly one men's domestic abuse shelter and it's in Arkansas.

I know the guy who started that. We had a class together.

Women domestic abuse men?
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AugustAdoulin posted...

Balrog0 posted...

Esrac posted...

If I recall, in the US, there is exactly one men's domestic abuse shelter and it's in Arkansas.

I know the guy who started that. We had a class together.

Women domestic abuse men?

Some studies have suggested it's more common than the reverse but guys just don't report it.
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SpiralDrift posted...

Some studies have suggested it's more common than the reverse but guys just don't report it.

Well, I could see man on man domestic abuse in a relationship. But I've never heard of girls beating guys up. :o
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I feel like a big problem is that people get caught up comparing themselves to eachother. The way society is set up, it's forced on you with constant bullshit advertising. Stop doing that, quit giving fucks about what others are doing. Just try to do better for yourself in whatever way you percieve that to be, find something you enjoy to immerse yourself in, and your life satisfaction will go up.
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SpiralDrift posted...

AugustAdoulin posted...

Balrog0 posted...

Esrac posted...

If I recall, in the US, there is exactly one men's domestic abuse shelter and it's in Arkansas.

I know the guy who started that. We had a class together.

Women domestic abuse men?

Some studies have suggested it's more common than the reverse but guys just don't report it.

my understanding is more that women hit men as or more often than men hit women -- in fact I think women initiate most domestic disputes -- but women usually get beat up worse
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Balrog0 posted...

SpiralDrift posted...

AugustAdoulin posted...

Balrog0 posted...

Esrac posted...

If I recall, in the US, there is exactly one men's domestic abuse shelter and it's in Arkansas.

I know the guy who started that. We had a class together.

Women domestic abuse men?

Some studies have suggested it's more common than the reverse but guys just don't report it.

my understanding is more that women hit men as or more often than men hit women -- in fact I think women initiate most domestic disputes -- but women usually get beat up worse

most domestic violence occurs with both parties abusing each other.
more women end up with injuries or report injuries
when its one party abusing the other, its more common for women to be the abusers
by sexualities, lesbians have the highest rates of ipv, followed by hetero, then gay

guys don't report it partially because if you report it as a guy, you are more likely to end up getting arrested.
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I had a bad 9 month slump too, I lost my home, my girl and my job. It wasnt easy but it took 5 years of incremental changes to get where I am now, now Im successful and semi retired.
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Xeno14 posted...

Balrog0 posted...

SpiralDrift posted...

AugustAdoulin posted...

Balrog0 posted...

Esrac posted...

If I recall, in the US, there is exactly one men's domestic abuse shelter and it's in Arkansas.

I know the guy who started that. We had a class together.

Women domestic abuse men?

Some studies have suggested it's more common than the reverse but guys just don't report it.

my understanding is more that women hit men as or more often than men hit women -- in fact I think women initiate most domestic disputes -- but women usually get beat up worse

most domestic violence occurs with both parties abusing each other.
more women end up with injuries or report injuries
when its one party abusing the other, its more common for women to be the abusers
by sexualities, lesbians have the highest rates of ipv, followed by hetero, then gay

guys don't report it partially because if you report it as a guy, you are more likely to end up getting arrested.

To add a bit to this, despite most domestic violence being reciprocal, women are far more likely to hit first. Their reason for hitting is usually because the guy said something mean. Men usually hit because they were hit first. Male on female unreciprocated DV has plummeted A LOT over the decades, which makes sense given the social awareness and education that has been put in place, but female on male unreciprocated violence has not decreased by nearly as much. IIRC it has either stayed at about the same or potentially even slightly increased.

Which kind of leads you to believe that a very large percentage of domestic violence could be curbed if we as a society simply educated women to keep their hands to themselves as intensely as we do for men. Unfortunately most people would be extremely opposed to this because their normal view of domestic violence is "violent and abusive man hitting on woman because the chicken was under cooked". This is the scenario that is most often shared despite it not being the norm. Also, men are more expected to just "man up and put up with it", which of course, no person should have to put up with DV, ever.
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Twin3Turbo posted...

Which kind of leads you to believe that a very large percentage of domestic violence could be curbed if we as a society simply educated women to keep their hands to themselves as intensely as we do for men.

this is definitely true
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AugustAdoulin posted...

SpiralDrift posted...

Some studies have suggested it's more common than the reverse but guys just don't report it.

Well, I could see man on man domestic abuse in a relationship. But I've never heard of girls beating guys up. :o

That's not surprising because the scenario that is most advertised is abusive man hurting a woman. DV is marketed so intently in this manner that every single time I've ever spoken with someone about it IRL, I've had to fight through all sorts of objections before they would even listen to what I had to say because they view it very narrowly.
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Balrog0 posted...

Twin3Turbo posted...

Which kind of leads you to believe that a very large percentage of domestic violence could be curbed if we as a society simply educated women to keep their hands to themselves as intensely as we do for men.

this is definitely true

Sounds mean and probably not PC, but it's true. I know if I have any daughters I'm teaching them from the jump to keep their hands to themselves, period.
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Xeno14 posted...

Balrog0 posted...

SpiralDrift posted...

AugustAdoulin posted...

Balrog0 posted...

Esrac posted...

If I recall, in the US, there is exactly one men's domestic abuse shelter and it's in Arkansas.

I know the guy who started that. We had a class together.

Women domestic abuse men?

Some studies have suggested it's more common than the reverse but guys just don't report it.

my understanding is more that women hit men as or more often than men hit women -- in fact I think women initiate most domestic disputes -- but women usually get beat up worse

most domestic violence occurs with both parties abusing each other.
more women end up with injuries or report injuries
when its one party abusing the other, its more common for women to be the abusers
by sexualities, lesbians have the highest rates of ipv, followed by hetero, then gay

guys don't report it partially because if you report it as a guy, you are more likely to end up getting arrested.

I know someone who this exact thing almost happened to him. His ex-wife was a violent psycho and the neighbors called the cops once. She had been abusing him, scratching him & hitting him. He hadn't touched her.

When the cops got there, she of course claimed that he was the one who was violent. Once he took off his shirt to show all the marks she'd left (and her without any at all), they stopped and helped him get some things & leave.

She was threatening to destroy a bunch of his stuff, including his work laptop-- and at the time, only he worked, supporting them both of course-- thankfully the cops made her calm the fuck down.

Sadly, it took him a few more years to finally dump that crazy bitch.

garan posted...

Xeno14 posted...

Balrog0 posted...

SpiralDrift posted...

AugustAdoulin posted...

Balrog0 posted...

Esrac posted...

If I recall, in the US, there is exactly one men's domestic abuse shelter and it's in Arkansas.

I know the guy who started that. We had a class together.

Women domestic abuse men?

Some studies have suggested it's more common than the reverse but guys just don't report it.

my understanding is more that women hit men as or more often than men hit women -- in fact I think women initiate most domestic disputes -- but women usually get beat up worse

most domestic violence occurs with both parties abusing each other.
more women end up with injuries or report injuries
when its one party abusing the other, its more common for women to be the abusers
by sexualities, lesbians have the highest rates of ipv, followed by hetero, then gay

guys don't report it partially because if you report it as a guy, you are more likely to end up getting arrested.

I know someone who this exact thing almost happened to him. His ex-wife was a violent psycho and the neighbors called the cops once. She had been abusing him, scratching him & hitting him. He hadn't touched her.

When the cops got there, she of course claimed that he was the one who was violent. Once he took off his shirt to show all the marks she'd left (and her without any at all), they stopped and helped him get some things & leave.

She was threatening to destroy a bunch of his stuff, including his work laptop-- and at the time, only he worked, supporting them both of course-- thankfully the cops made her calm the fuck down.

Sadly, it took him a few more years to finally dump that crazy bitch.

Man I really don't want to be "that guy" but it really is crazy how much differently men are treated than women are in our criminal justice system. I couldn't even imagine them not taking him to jail if she was the one with marks and bruises.

I saw a story where a guy broke up with a girl and ever since she had been giving him hell. Showing up at his house, causing trouble, etc. The guy showed video evidence of her trying to run him over and damaging his property despite him being totally calm the entire time and he stated that even with that video evidence, she wasn't taken to jail. All that video evidence did was help get a case frivolous case thrown out that she filed against him. It took video evidence of her damn near killing him just so he could get a lawsuit to go his way, and that's it.
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AugustAdoulin posted...

Balrog0 posted...

Esrac posted...

If I recall, in the US, there is exactly one men's domestic abuse shelter and it's in Arkansas.

I know the guy who started that. We had a class together.

Women domestic abuse men?

Yes, a lot more than we like to think. A slanted domestic abuse system is one of the unique issues harming men. Look up the Duluth Model. It's a model for policing domestic violence that was design by feminist activists and researchers with police and its the most commonmy used method in the US. In short, the model assumes that men, as a class, are conditioned by patriarchal society to use violence and threats of violence to control and intimidate women and women use violence almost solely for self defense. It ignores contributing factors like substance abuse and mental health issues. Not exaggerating.

If I recall, the creators of the model have, since then, let on that their model is faulty and they made assumptions about the motives of domestic violence that were idealogically driven rather than evidence based.

We, as a society, inaccurately view and market domestic violence almost exclusively as a crime committed by men on women. And that kind of depiction is, I believe, deliberately pushed by years of social activism. Even today, disputing that or advocating for improving men's conditions regarding domestic violence are met unkindly.

This is, I think, connected with the other ways men are uniquely mistreated by the criminal justice system. For example, regarding sentencing and conviction for the same crimes, men are treated worded relative to women than black are relative to whites. That is the "gender gap" in criminal justice is worse than the "race gap" and it heavily favors women.
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ReignFury posted...

I had a bad 9 month slump too, I lost my home, my girl and my job. It wasnt easy but it took 5 years of incremental changes to get where I am now, now Im successful and semi retired.

And it's when you hit those slumps, no one cares. But, when you suddenly regain your life, they try to step back in. Nope.
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JerickoX posted...

ReignFury posted...

I had a bad 9 month slump too, I lost my home, my girl and my job. It wasnt easy but it took 5 years of incremental changes to get where I am now, now Im successful and semi retired.

And it's when you hit those slumps, no one cares. But, when you suddenly regain your life, they try to step back in. Nope.

It seems that way, but I stay close to the people who were there for me back then, thats why Ive limited my social and social media interactions. I also started 5 small businesses/hobbies without opening up a line of credit. All of it planned and researched when I had no money.
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It really is disgusting how our society still operates under the ideas that men either cannot be abused or have to just put up with it because they're men.
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Who cares. The sooner we can buy waifu sex ai dolls, the better. Then there can be 2% of men boning 100% of women because we dont need to put up with bullshit alpha beta mind game stuff
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AngelicTouch99 posted...

Who cares. The sooner we can buy waifu sex ai dolls, the better. Then there can be 2% of men boning 100% of women because we dont need to put up with bullshit alpha beta mind game stuff

Yeah, but then the Organics vs. Synthetics debate will begin. Only an Alpha gets Oganics. Etc.
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It really is disgusting how our society still operates under the ideas that men either cannot be abused or have to just put up with it because they're men.

Not just men, boys too.

In my case it was a matter of "boys always want it" or "nobody will believe you that I would do that" when it came to her excuses. And in a way she was absolutely right; Nobody ever warns you about *female* predators because society constantly fails to acknowledge that they even exist, much less deals with them harshly.
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garan posted...

...Sadly, it took him a few more years to finally dump that crazy bitch.

Love is irrational. Thats why people stay with crazy. They endure abuse both physically and emotionally just to stay "supportive".

I think love goes beyond our measures of understanding because the bond is strong within the couple. Sure it can be one sided but if you ever experienced seeing a loved one hurting, youd do anything to help unburden such suffering. That emotional instability just cripples the relationship and soon, the couple blame each other. Thats why someone in the relationship white knight to the best of their capability. If they give up, that person never truly loved the other or the relarionship wasnt worth saving. They stay in abusive relationships. This is also true for women as they are emotionally invested into someone and its just too much to let the love go.

Reason why is because that love or infatuation of it is something many of us experiences. We drop our guards to let that someone in our hearts. For someone to gain such access to our love is both blessing and curse. Your story portrays what every guy fears - the fear of both rejection and loneliness. Once a guy gives his heart to someone, he is truly open to that person. What that person does is a different story. That person either nurtures that love and allows it to grow in a relationship or use it to empower themselves and abuse the partner. Many people cannot handle such responsibility so they do they know - being selfish, they look out for themselves. They say and do things that dont make sense and its all to hurt the other significantly. Do the most damage with the least effort. These couples know each other too well in that regard. When the words dont do much to one or the other, theu become frustrated and use physical violence to express themselves. nobody will concede or win at this point. Thats what love is about in such relationships, its often uncompromising and makes no sense to people outside the relationship. What is love... baby dont hurt me, baby dont hurt me. No more.
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bump
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